Weekly Cinemeh

Hey, we actually had a theme this week! Crime! We both noticed something this week while watching these movies. People who steal remove their mask/disguise way to often in the midst of shit. As Eshi pointed out at one point: If you are gonna spend your time as a criminal, wear a disguise that is comfortable so you don't keep ripping it off whenever you get the chance. Anyways, to the list!

1: Glengarry Glen Ross
Not a typical kind of crime movie one expects when dealing with crime movies in general, but I would consider it a crime/mystery movie. Its main story is kind of bland, people are having trouble at work, stakes get raised, someone steals the fucking leads. The story exists to put emphasis onto the characters and their interactions, all of which are amazing. These are not good people, they are salesmen. Al Pacino's character says something when he gets introduced in the film:

I have always thought that this is basically his character justifying his behavior as a salesman, pointing out that morality doesn't need to play a part in his action. 

All in all, its a great movie. Any movie that has that cast list (Jack Lemon, Al Pacino, Alan Arkin, Ed Harris, and Kevin Spacey) will have some amazing acting in it and will be worth the watch. Add an amazing script that forces these actors to compete for who has the best screen presence, and you get a great experience. Watch it, more than once if you get the chance.

Eshi: I had never seen this movie until this week. I was initially hesitant because I've worked in sales and pretty thoroughly hate everything even remotely involved. That said, the tensions and interplays in this film are fucking masterful. It plays to the things that I hate about sales and does so in such a way as to ensure my attention. It was masterfully cast and represents some stellar work from some of my favorite actors.

2: The Score

To my surprise I had apparently absorbed this movie via osmosis when it played in the background at sometime in the past. I had never seen it, at least intentionally, but I remembered weird shit, like Edward Norton faking being retarded. Anyway, it was a pretty standard heist movie. Gang gets together, doesn't trust one another (by the way, why the fuck would you commit a crime with someone you don't trust?) set up a massive payoff (one last heist) and betrayal inevitably happens. It was fun, the heist was cool, and the movie was well acted. Worth the watch, but not spectacular. 

Eshi: Eddie Norton has a very special place in my heart, and in this movie he tries really hard to abdicate the position. The whole film is a series of dick-move and counter dick-move. Honestly the only surprise in the whole thing is that Robert De Niro even fucking bothers with any of these assholes. Fun, very watchable, but by no means the best work of anyone involved.

3: Shadow Run

This is our first bad movie the we have watched for Weekly Cinemeh, and it pains me. I love Michael Caine, but this movie is bad, just... so bad. There are entire chunks of this movie that play no part in what the movie should have been about. I loved the idea behind this movie. We are going to steal the paper used to print money, so our forgeries are way more real and worth millions. Great! There is a place where radio signals get jammed and the armored car can't call for help, so we have to set up a heist in that area and workout all the details. I love it! Oh hey, here is this kid and he is sad. What? Oh, and now there is a side plot about how the bullied kid will save his school via a choir competition. OK, I thought we were watching a movie about gangsters, why the fuck is this glee all of a sudden? The only good part of the movie is when the haughty Lord gets killed. That was great. All the rest of it jumps around in tone and doesn't do shit to make me care about any of the crew. From what the movie showed us, only 3 people of a 5 person crew get fleshed out, and the other 2 come out of nowhere to drive and lift heavy things, they aren't even named. This movie is bad.

Eshi: I never thought Michael Caine could disappoint me. I don't like being proved wrong. His character has no real depth, just a generic, shitty old cockney. I have weird feeling about English culture and this movie focuses on all the worst parts. A cunty noble, a general sense of superiority and entitlement, I understand that none of these characters are supposed to be particularly empathetic but jesus. I can only say two things in favor of this movie; it was free, and no one got raped.

My God, Its Full of Stars

Writing my post from last week got me thinking about human endeavors and how far we have come as a species. While I was lost in this reverie something got caught in my craw. Humans built the pyramids of Giza. These things are marvels of engineering. Unfortunately, there is a group of people who disagree for various reasons.

The bulk of these people believe that humans couldn't have built them because they are aligned with stars, are made of massive stones that couldn't have been moved easily, and are such a massive undertaking that it is impossible to conceive of how they did it. So, I am going to try to point out a few things that try to refute these worries. This list will not be exhaustive, it will just cover a list of things that I found in my googling.

On the first point, the astronomical exactitude of the pyramids. Egyptian astronomy dates back to the 3000's BCE, when they were making star charts on circular stones, more than 400 years prior to the building of the earliest pyramid. This means that all you would need to do is plan where to put stuff prior to building, something that anyone who has run a city does because they don't want shit to get out of control. Its called urban planning and its been around since people needed to use space efficiently. In fact, Egyptian cities are famous for it.

Second, moving large rocks isn't hard. Here is a guy moving a stone henge sized rock by himself. Just a dude in his backyard. Archeologists found large sled-like machines in Egypt that move very heavy weights around easily if you wet the sand in front of them. All it takes is a little bit of knowledge and experience to make hard tasks far simpler.

And finally on the third point, if only the things you can conceive of as you are now are possible, then humanity is doomed. Just because a person doesn't understand how something happened, doesn't mean it didn't.

The bulk of these and other arguments against ancient peoples building massive structures is based on the idea that people from back then must have been stupid. Ancient people didn't have cranes, so they couldn't have built tall things. These arguments ignore evidence and make assumptions. Yes, they had less tools to work with, but that doesn't mean that had none. All our tools today are just improved tools from long ago. People have always been about as intelligent as they are today, we just have access to more information. All we are is slightly less ignorant than back then.

And lastly I want to talk about a conspiracy theory: Aliens built the pyramids. I am not going to say it didn't happen. I might have happened. Show me proof. If you can come up with proof that doesn't rely wholly on what you just think might have happened, then I will consider it an actual possibility. Yes, archeologists don't know 100% how the pyramids were built, but their arguments are based on evidence not just spastic speculation and occasional doses of crazy.

What's All This Faggotry Then?

I feel like we've been doing pretty well lately, not getting too rantish. So lets talk about slurs. Now, I feel the need to preface this with some context. I look like what would happen if Thor had a thing about cake and couldn't be bothered to shave, this tends to shade the audience against anything I would have to say about hate speech with either bland apologetics or low rent nazi propaganda. I'm also bisexual, which given my appearance tends to go unnoticed. It also opens me up to a weird perspective on hate speech because, while I'm sensitive to it, most people don't bother to sensor themselves around me. Given that, I've come up with a rule. Just don't be a dick about it.

As with any kind of profanity, slurs are bound entirely by context. So while I can understand a bit of discomfort if someone you don't know very well yells "faggot", if you have a reasonable expectation that they aren't actually decrying someones sexual preference leave them the fuck alone about it. Yes that word is one used by a certain group to make another group feel bad. Its also an expletive and those are just to useful to ignore. The meaning that it has with the offended group relates entirely to the fact that said group identifies with the word. Faggot has meant a lot of things over the years, but you don't hear old ladies getting up in arms about it. No pagans (I sincerely fucking hope) getting their knickers twisted about references to burning heretics. I tend to agree with Louis C.K., faggot only actually refers to a caricature, not necessarily of homosexuals but of a specific brand of annoying pedant. No person should ever acknowledge themselves as a caricature. I'm sure that there are some people who definitely mean gay people when they say that, just as I'm sure that there are some people how very much mean it in the pejorative when they utter any variation on the word "nigger". Those people are using words wrong. Not just those words, all words. They have misappropriated language and should be disregarded.

The trick here is something we've talked about before at some length, language is completely reliant on context. The idea of a word that is inherently bad is absurd in the absolute, as evidenced by the sheer fact that meanings can change. In fact I tend to argue that by legislating language we give certain words undue power. By limiting words like faggot and nigger we're essentially reserving them for the people who are just going to be cunts about their use and that isn't good for anyone. Suddenly, using a certain word ends conversations and shuts down discourse. The only words that should ever have that kind of power are "good bye" and its cousins. Lets get back to being people, stop blaming words for their use and start blaming people for their ignorance and hate.

Weekly Cinemeh

While we didn't have a dedicated theme this week, all of the movies were worth watching. I swear, one day we will work out that theme thing.

1: Poona The Fuckdog And Other Plays For Children
This was an odd one. It was a stage play that had been filmed and put onto amazon. We watched this out of curiosity due to the name and frankly this movie made me love it the instant the phrase "fairy god-phallus" was uttered. It was funny, if a little preachy at times. This is a problem with most stage shows that try to get some form of political point across. They beat you over the head with it to make sure that the message is received. Its a fun play that pokes fun at a lot of topics and ends in an amazing way. If you have 2 hours to kill I would suggest giving it a look.

Eshi: This one kinda came out of nowhere. We saw it on amazon and curiosity prevailed. Poona was cute and fun, very classical college theatre.

2: Megamind
This movie (as well as How To Train Your Dragon) is easily one of my favorite animated films in the somewhat recent boom of them since Toy Story. It pokes fun at the classic hero-villain dichotomy and does so in an interesting way. The voice acting is well done, and the jokes are great. If you are ok with it being a little childish at times, its a great watch.

Eshi: I have a soft spot for a certain flavor of kids movie and Megamind plays well to that. It is well cast and cleanly voiced, I always love it when Will Farrel actually enjoys a role.

3: It Happened One Night
One of the first romantic comedies of the silver screen, it was something that I heard about on the youtube channel Blamesocietyfilms on their bi-weekly show "Welcome to the Basement"as a movie that Spaceballs rips its romantic subplot from (spoiler: it totally is). Curious, I watched it and enjoyed it immensely. Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert have amazing chemistry and it was easy to see where other romantic comedies pulled inspiration from it. This movie blows all of the romantic comedies I have seen out of the water. I suggest watching it, even if you don't like all that mushy romance shtick, because it is genuine in its comedy and doesn't bog itself down with a lot of modern romantic comedy tropes.

Eshi: I hate Romcoms. The tropes, the character stereotypes, the implicit lessons, all of it is trashy and distasteful. It Happened One Night breaks my heart with how good it was. Modern romantic comedies fail the bar this movie set by leagues. Clark Gable is, as usual, charismatic as fuck and Claudette Colbert is a delightful.

4: John Wick
This movie was a surprise. It starts out like the movie version of the "sad Keanu" meme and turned into a violent joyride that was a great action movie. I love this movie because it knows what it is: an action movie. Not a lot of information is put into the plot that you don't need. Keanu angry at Alfie. Keanu Smash! I might be exaggerating a little, but not that much. Its got very well choreographed fight scenes and Keanu is in top form. A great movie for anyone who is a fan of well done action movies and/or violence. Also, I love the idea behind the hotel in the movie. I would watch the hell out of a series where the hotel staff had to deal with all sorts of wacky hit man situations. Like a fucked up dark comedy version of Fawlty Towers.

Eshi: I think I've mentioned before my weird love of Keanu Reeves. I have wondrous dreams of him walking up to Joaquin Phoenix and whispering "wrong kid died" al la Walk Hard. Keanu is fantastic in this movie. There are no pretexts of subtlety or moralizing, just good clean violence. A Great Sunday afternoon movie.

Honorable mention: Blamesocietyfilms.
I have been watching their stuff since I found out about Chad Vader in the middle of season 1 and have been a fan ever since. Chad Vader is great, beer and boardgames is wildly funny at times, and Welcome to the Basement made me want to talk about movies (I am still kinda shitty at it, but I will get better~) Not to mention some of their other stuff. Take some time to watch and laugh when you get the chance.

Eshi: I came a bit late to the Blamesociety bandwagon, but I am gladly on board. These folks are a fucking inspiration. Watch them and know their greatness.

In Which I Tell Superman To Fuck Off

So I want to talk about Superman today. I don't like Superman. He is a Mary Sue, and because of that he is insanely boring. He doesn't need to fear losing because he is invincible. Sure you might say, "oh, but kryptonite makes him weaker!" and sure it does, but how often is it a lasting threat? If kryptonite was a meaningful weakness then superman should have died a long time ago. Fuck, on that note he is basically the reason comic book heroes don't need to fear death.

I will admit though that having a hero who is supposed to represent all the good in the world who is happy and a symbol of hope (Despite what Zach Snyder seems to think) is a net positive. What I want to talk about specifically today is that Superman and superheroes like him are bad for the world they inhabit. Stopping crime is a good act, I think we can all agree, but with the basic powers that superman has, he hurts the world.

Humans are an amazing species. We have adapted to the world in ways that other species can only dream about. Hunter/gathering doesn't provide a stable food source for us? Invent agriculture! Don't like walking long distances? Boom: horse and cart. Not fast enough? Car. Still not fast enough? Super sonic fucking planes. To hot? Lets create a device that can make it freezing in your house. Sure, some of these changes fuck with us in bad ways, but hey its only been 14,000ish years, we are still working out the kinks.

Why has this adaptation occurred? Need. I joked about not going fast enough up above, but faster forms of travel allowed us to transport goods to areas of the world where they are needed. Refrigeration and agriculture both allowed us to have far stabler forms of sustenance. What superman does is eliminate need. Social changes to eliminate crime will never need to take place because a superhero is taking care of it for us. We become reliant on a higher being for an entire form of ethics and it will never solve the core problem (stuff like treating drug addicts as people who suffer from a disease instead of criminals /programs to increase funding to inner city schools and improving the neighborhoods they are in).

You can see why this happens. We tend to default to the easiest solution to a problem that we can see. Superman is the perfect easy solution. This is why I dislike him. He puts himself in this position. Instead of only using his powers on enemies that we can't stop (i.e. other supers) Supes stops basic fucking robbers. This is like using a tactical nuke to take out a mouse you saw in your kitchen, way fucking overkill. I appreciate how easy it is, and that superman thinks its his responsibility because he has the power to do so, but it stunts personal/societal growth, and that's a problem.

D.C. brings up this problem in a different context with Sinestro, so its clear that they know it is a possibility. I know that this shit is just comics, but comics, movies, and television are our modern equivalent to mythology. Mythology is supposed to be a template for how people should act as we've discussed before. In the case of Superman, there is a major failing and I think its important to point it out. Easy solutions aren't always the best solutions.

Athletics, Advertising and Apathetic Naming Conventions

So there was the SuperThing yesterday that everybody and their dog got their dicks hard about. My apathy resounds on that specific front. I don't particularly care that a bunch of grown men got together to try and kill each other in tight pants, or that an obscene number of people chose to live vicariously through strangers to forget the unyielding, soulless monotony of their existence. I don't even really care that the standard response I receive when I tell people I'm not a "sports guy" is a cross between sneering derision and knee jerk hostility. You know what I do care about? Fucking Katy Perry's Halftime performance. Or better yet, did you see that one commercial that cost as much as the GDP of Jamaica?

There's a point here I promise. See I'm not alone in not being big on watching sports, lots of people abstain from the sportitude, the unrepresented population here seems to be those of us who don't think sports are particularly special. Its not that I don't think that what they do is impressive to some extent, its that the physical talent athletes demonstrate has more to do with the fact that they've spent their whole fucking lives pretty much just playing a game than any thing else. There is talent involved certainly, hell they even serve a degree of social good. Sports brings communities together and that is definitely a net gain. The issue that arises for me is that while I don't have a problem with people who enjoy sports I also don't really care about all of the shit that surrounds sports culture. Its fucked up that that one guy ran a dog fighting ring or whatever, but no more fucked up than the fact that that happens anyway. I find it sickening that that dude beat the fuck out of his wife, just like it is when anyone does it.

"Oh", you may well find yourself saying, "but they're role-models, Children look up to them, so what they do matters more". First, no; they're grown men who get carte blanche because they run real fast and can take the rock to the goal or whatever. Second, children look up to them because they make a shit ton of money for playing the same games they play after school. Children aren't great at recognizing their best interests, that what parents are supposed to be for. Children would also look up to somebody who got rich from eating cake, little fuckers love cake.

Athletes can be fucked up and sports people weird me, but what is worse to me is the people who make a big deal out of demonizing them and talking about how they don't watch the sportsing, and then in the same breath start a dissertation on SuperThing ads and halftime shows. Fuck those people, they are the worst violators of the "if you don't like it, don't look" rule. These are the same class of fuckheads who watch reality shows ironically. They are on par with anorexics bitching about how unhealthy fat people are, sure they aren't fat but they're just as unhealthy and weird about food. Hell, events like the SuperThing make as much money off of random assholes tuning into the commercials as they do from asses in seats. I don't care for sports, so when the SuperThing or the Series of the World (in very small considerations of what "world" means) is on, I fucking do something else. None of that something involves even tangentially the event in question. My thinking is that if enough of us just don't bother at all maybe they'll finally fucking go away. It worked on the Jocks in highschool, maybe I'll get lucky.

Weekly Cinimeh

Here we are once again!

1: Better Living Through Chemistry
This movie is good, though not the most complicated affair. I love watching Sam Rockwell. Moon? Fucking amazing. Choke? Good movie, great performance by Rockwell. Galaxy Quest? Destined to be a classic in the hearts of people who love Star Trek. Rockwell was good in that too. Anyways, enough fan-boying! Rockwell was definitely the best part of this movie. I wish that the movie had the balls to go deeper into the direction of how fucked up drugs can be/get you, but I don't think it was supposed to be that kind of movie. Ultimately, its a movie about a person becoming self actualized via a drug binge, thus the title, and I was fine with that. It had some solid (though rough around the edges) comedy, a whirlwind style romance that ends in a shockingly healthy place considering the impetus for the dropping of it, and Jane Fonda in a role that underutilized the shit out of her. I don't know why they used her for the role, but it was kinda unnecessary.

Eshi: This is movie about a man, like many men, broken and cowed by a combination of his own disappointment and the demands of an unsympathetic family. That man then does a shit-ton of spectacularly potent drugs in highly customized dosages and combinations and gets the fuck over it. 10/10. I recommend it to anyone who is in a rut in their life and/or likes to do a shit ton of drugs.

2: The Ref
This fucking movie. I still don't know quite how I feel about it. There are a lot of things I love about it, but it still felt kind of "meh". I get fan boy about a bunch of actors, and I feel bad about that and Kevin Spacey is one of them. He is good in this. It reminded me of his performance in American Beauty, an amazing movie you should watch, though it differed slightly in tone and goal. I love the way it handled the relationship in the film. A couple that has fallen apart due to a lack of communication are forced into being real with each other and realize that they still love one another. Its great. The comedy was good too, though sometimes it fell a little flat. The performances were also good. I already mentioned Spacey, but Judy Davis was good, and the two had good chemistry on screen. I also have a love hate relationship with Denis Leary. He had funny lines, and a few good moments with the other actors, but he felt a little awkward in the role. Its a worthy experience, watch it.

Eshi: I want to be clear here, my feelings about this movie are entirely carried by my unhealthy and socially disturbing appreciation for Kevin Spacey. He's just the tits. Plot-wise its a pretty standard 90's family style movie. To the point that I was left having flashbacks to fucking Home Alone. I also have weird feelings about Denis Leary, but that would demand a post in and of itself that I don't really feel like bothering with. In all though The Ref wasn't a bad way to spend an afternoon.

3: Tinker Tailor Solder Spy
Probably one of the most realistic spy movies I have ever seen. Long scenes of intelligence gathering and mystery solving separated by short, but incredibly tense, "will they find him out" scenes. The movie has a disjointed narrative, jumping back and forth through time with no warning, but it wasn't hard to follow. I think it was to add to the feeling of unease that the movie was cultivating. This is why I love this type of movie. Also, apparently we were going for "movies containing actors  Brian and Eshi will fan boy over" as our theme this week. Gary Oldman is a powerhouse. Enough said. The other performances were also quite good, especially Mark Strong. I wish that John Hurt was in the film more as well. It is a great, subtle, film. Don't go into this movie with expectations of Jason Bourne. It is a more intellectual beast, and well worth the viewing.

Eshi: This is one of the only movies I've ever seen that wasn't either agonizingly predictable or tragically undercast. There are no words for how happy that makes me.

Honorable Mention: Parasyte: The Maxim
We have been doing these lately and we like it, so we are making them a regular thing. So, Parasyte: The Maxim. I will not talk about the story too much, as the series is still running, but I will say this: It delivers a great story, filled with everything you could want out of a sci-fi horror series. Its the story about an invasion by a species of parasites that feed on people, and one persons fight against them. Its great. Watch it.

Eshi: I want a Migi so bad my balls hurt.

Honorable Mention 2! This video. If you haven't seen cinema sins, you should. One of the creators also has his own channel, cinemasins jeremy, that is also worth it to subscribe to. Both channels, as well as the other off shoots, are great. They are funny, insightful, and will also force you to think about movies in a way you might have not before.

Eshi: Jeremy is my Favorite movie nerd. Especially counting my self. 

I Am Not Mad At J.J. Abrams, Just Disappointed.

I love Sci-Fi. This should come as no surprise to readers of my past posts. Sci-Fi TV shows in particular are on of my favorite things to watch. This is why I kind of hate and love J.J. Abrams. Both Lost and Fringe had amazing potential, but shit the bed around 2/3 of the way through. I know that he isn't the only person behind these shows, but he makes a nice surrogate for the show as a whole since his name is on the title cards as a creator.

Lost had some great ideas. It set up an intriguing mystery that made the characters and the viewers question the reality of the show. Existentialism is a very interesting subject and making a show that introduced the concept as a main theme is great. Whats not great is what happened around halfway through the series. Laziness.

It started setting up mysteries and never solving them. Fuck, they ended the series by copying a fan theory about what they show was all about. I am big on fans being included in the creation of something, but that is going a little to far. It was later revealed that the show was essentially ad-libed, they made all of it up as they went along.  The creators came out and said that they had no intention of building a mythology in the first couple seasons. Most fans of the show assumed that they were, myself included, because the show was set up like a mystery, which tend to be a coherent thing, not shit made up on the spot. You can't have an immersive, engaging show without building some kind of mythology, its fucking irresponsible.

Fringe had a different problem at the start. I love sci-fi serials. The X-Files, The Twilight Zone, and Star Trek and the like are some of my favorite style of program. There is sometimes an overarching story line sure, but it plays second fiddle to a monster-of-the-week structure which each explores a new idea or concept with each episode. Fringe was great because the character that is supposed to be the scientific genius is a mad scientist who isn't a bad guy, something that rarely happens. The series explores a bunch of ideas and does so in an interesting way.

Unfortunately, it ended up in kind of a mess. Characters went evil for no reason, possibly because universe jumping made it so that there was no coherent character arcs. This same universe jumping was also used as a cheap way to retcon series mythology. I feel like I need to point out that alternate reality is a great thing to explore, but the base reality needs to remain fucking consistent, otherwise the whole thing starts to come off as a masturbation session for the writers. You can cram ideas into a story all day, but if there isn't some underlying method to the madness everything falls apart.
 
Both series have a common problem that I would like to make my own theory about. J. J. Abrams has a ton of cool ideas but he is impatient and/or lazy. He wanted to make a bunch of cool sci-fi ideas into a coherent show so he jammed as many ideas as he could into his scripts but after a while got bored with the execution and just ended both in ways that just kind of fell flat. I think that Abrams loves the idea behind a sci-fi mystery serial, a show that builds a massive story/world and seeks to explore it, but doesn't want to put in the effort to make the mythology mean something.

To be fair, it might not have been laziness. Maybe Abrams doesn't want to create a more structured series because he doesn't know what he might have to change later due to network interference. Or maybe he wants fans to have a say in the show. In any case, these series both started out as amazing works, but ended in way that at least felt lazy and disappointing. I feel like I can't explain how unfortunate it is to see something with a ton of potential just fall flat. I just felt like I needed to say this in hopes that any creative type people who read it will strive to do better when it comes to ending a show, or even just in building a mythology. Both your creation and your fans deserve it.

CAW CAW BANG! ...Oh Fuck He's Dead

We talk about remakes and reboots just... entirely too much. Today's post isn't going to be about how remakes are all fucked up (though they often are), or reboots are money-grubbing bullshit (though they often are). No today I'm going direct reference. Relativity is doing a remake of The Crow. I fucking loved The Crow, both the comic and the first movie. That said, seriously, don't fucking do that.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the our little tale of woe; Brandon Lee, Bruce Lee's son, straight up fucking died in making The Crow. When your movie kills one of the ridiculously rare instances of a second generation fucking legend you need to pack up and go home. They didn't, they made three more movies and a shitty T.V. show, but that was at best in bad taste. I totally understand that its a nifty concept, I intimately appreciate that The Crow had a huge impact on a certain population, like me. However, The Crow is a pretty self contained story about loss and pain, that does extrapolate out pretty well but that doesn't require the bludgeoning of a deeply intimate story, especially after the first cinematic attempt fucking killed your headliner.

The Crow is essentially about a dude who comes back from the dead to inflict his grief on the people who murdered him and his SO. There are so many fucking ways to do that story without piggybacking the comic or disrespecting Brandon Lee's death. Find one and do that if you wanna make a movie. 

Okay, so I lied, this is all about how how fucked up remakes are and how the film industry is a soulless, money-grubbing fuckscape. Sorry for the deception.

Weekly Cinemeh

Hey, two weeks in a row! We haven;t done a theme for these past couple of weeks, but we will probably start something more like that in the future.

Chinatown: This was my first Roman Polanski film, although I didn't know that until the credits rolled. I can easily see why so many people liked him as a director. If it weren't for the pedophilia I would probably rush out to see more of his stuff. The cinematography was what stood out the most to me, I have never seen anything quite like it. Nicholson is fantastic as the noir protagonist, sarcastic and driven, with a lot of darkness under the surface. This movie is a great example of modern noir, and is a must see for anyone who is a fan.

Eshi: I have weird feelings about this movie, the cinematography was intriguing and the story was compelling. Unfortunately, I feel like Jack Nicholson kinda carried the movie. There was a lot of woodenness in the acting and it broke immersion for me. Still, definitely see it.

The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy: If you love high fantasy and have nine hours (or three nights with three hours) to spare it is well worth the watch. They are fun and unlike the shitty Hobbit movies these are fairly good at representing the source material, though they still leave a bunch out you can understand why. Watching these films it is easy to see that Peter Jackson really loved the books, which makes The Hobbit trilogy all the more disappointing. On that note though, why is it always the case that fantasy movies have shitty dialogue? Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I get that they don't want people to talk with modern vernacular because it would be out of place, but that doesn't mean that all people in fantasy worlds should always talk in frilly verse. LotR is better than most but there are some cringe worthy lines, particularly from Legolas and Aragorn.

Eshi: There are entirely too few serious attempts at high fantasy in film, a shit ton of children's and YA fantasy sure, but its apparently hard to sell adults on wizards and shit. Lord of the Rings is a great demonstration of how ill-advised that mentality is, fucking everybody loves fantasy, most people just don't like to admit it. As a movie geek, I love LotR, its rich and immersive and deeply fucking moving. As a fan of Tolkien's massive, possibly overdeveloped, universe however, The movies leave some holes that (as I've mentioned recently) I have a hard time overlooking. That said I was still really excited to rewatch these.

Mr. Bean's Holiday: Just a fun movie. Mr.Bean, if you have never seen it, is a walking disaster, and he either has the worst luck in the world, or the best. If you are a fan of the TV show, you will like this movie. If you haven't seen the TV show, you should. Neither are meant to be taken seriously, and while not his best work in my opinion, shows off Rowan Atkinson physical comedy side very well.

Eshi: I have a soft spot in my heart for Rowan Atkinson, as one of the only other people to approach the divinity of Our Lord the Tall John Cleese. I love Bean, I love Black Adder, Atkinson is irreverent and delightful. Also, this movie is vastly superior to the American attempt, and just on that deserves a watch.

Honorable Mention- The Venture Brothers season 6 opening special.
The Venture Bros. is one of the best, if not the best, examples of how to build a world. Jackson Publick(aka Christopher McCulloch) and Doc Hammer are amazing writers and have created an amazing mythology that surrounds the show. Its witty, exciting, and has a ton of great characters. The season six opener was a great example of all of those qualities. If you have not seen the TV show, watch it! Its great.

Eshi:  The Venture Brother's is the most masterful show on T.V. in decades. Its not particularly serious, its probably not for everyone even. I'm positive some people don't like this show. Those people are wrong. Watch this show from the beginning till you're current, then watch it again. If you don't like it try again until you get it right. If you do not love this show, make no mistake, the flaw is in you.