Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we dove into some comedies to lighten up our current trend of movies. It ended up having a couple other themes that were partially unintentional. First is the redeemable asshole theme, and second was Bill Murray. This was a fun week. To the list!
1: Groundhog Day
I love this movie, mostly because Bill Murray is great, but also because I like the base premise. A TV weatherman is stuck in an infinite loop of a location shoot for a Groundhog day festival. It has been described as the perfect Buddhist movie, and I can see why. A man continually relives the same day over and over again, constantly understanding the world more and more. The movie starts off with Bill Murray over-indulging in vices, but soon becomes bored with it and starts improving himself and acting for other's benefit until he breaks the cycle. Besides that kind of nifty (and according to IMDB unintentional) interpretation, it is just a fun movie. It makes the most of Murray's style of sarcastic humor really well, and shows off how this type of situation might actually play out. If you kept repeating the same day over and over again, would you try to become a master of everything you could? Its a delightful movie with a good cast (Andie MacDowell and Murray have some good chemistry) and a nifty message, check it out.
Eshi: Groundhog Day has everything that makes Bill Murray great; he's sharp, sarcastic, witty, cruel, touching, charming, crude. Its beautiful. One of the things that I particularly enjoyed, especially in the Buddhist context, is how at no point does Murray's character evolve on his own. Every moment of epiphany, from his initial hedonistic plunge to his inexorable enlightenment, is accompanied by the gentle guidance of Andie MacDowell's character. I really enjoy that his personal evolution only takes place because of other people. It has definitely earned its status.
2: Kingpin
Kingpin is another one of those stories where a disgraced sports hero helps a "young" talent make it to the big leagues. Where kingpin differs is that it doesn't treat the premise with any real sense of seriousness. This is a Farrelly brothers movie after all, and the sport is bowling, something that isn't considered a sport by most of the populace. A bunch of this particular movie trope popped up after this one, and while I know this wasn't the first to do it, I know that it was the first I saw that was done like this. I really liked Randy Quaid in this movie, though I think that Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson are far funnier than he is. Vanessa Angel's character kind of disappoints me a little. She basically disappears from the movie just as her plot starts to actually resolve until the end of the film, and I can kinda get why, but I think the relationship with Harrelson's character could have been explored more (two broken people forming a relationship via mutual understanding and support, but I don't think that's the point of the movie, so I see why the didn't). Its a fun movie, check it out.
Eshi: Oh Randy Quaid, what the fuck man. I'm not sure anyone else could have pulled off his character in this. I don't know what it is about being crazier than the bear that fucked the porcupine that lends itself so well to wide-eyed naiveté but it's the best. Brian is right, Vanessa Angel's role was a bit of a wasted opportunity. I like Woody Harrelson but I always have a hard time believing him as an asshole, I can't not see him as an affable stoner, but I guess thats more my fault than his. It's also pretty amazing how Bill Murray can always make a skeezy douchebag fun, even at his most hate-able he's still charming.
3: Caddyshack
Caddyshack is about a kid who wants to go to college, working though the summer at a golf course to pay for his education. That being said the movie changes gears constantly and that story falls by the wayside and the movie becomes more and more about the wacky people who populate the club. I think there is a good reason for this. The side characters have far more personality and charisma than the leading man, and are Chevey Chase, Bill Murray, and fucking Rodney Dangerfield. This is a movie I saw when I was probably too young, though that's the case with most movies I have seen, and rewatching it now was a little odd. It wasn't as funny as I remember it being, though the jokes I didn't get as a kid were far funnier now. Its an odd feeling, challenging nostalgia. That being said, its still a very funny movie and you should check it out.
Eshi: Caddyshack tells the story of a fuck-hungry young man that nobody gives a fuck about trying to schmooze his way into college. This is all about the big names. Rodney Dangerfeild is a dynamo, Chevey Chase is a dick, and Bill Murray proves his ability to straight up make a character pretty much just by showing up. It's a ball to watch, though I can understand how it might have diminished with time.
Showing posts with label Cinema. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cinema. Show all posts
Friday, May 27, 2016
Friday, April 29, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we are continuing our quest to fill in gaps with some Hitchcock. Hitchcock is considered to be one of the better directors, and I can see why. He has some great ways of filming scenes and his ability to generate tension is great. I loved this week. To the list!
1: The Birds
I saw this movie when I was in middle school, and it has stuck with me since then. The Birds is an interesting horror movie premise because it takes something that is always in the background and makes it the danger. In the movie Psycho, Norman Bates even says that birds are naturally passive so it makes them seem non-threatening. This is the very basis of what makes good horror, and this was my first real example of that. The scenes where like 500 birds are all standing around, watching, are still chilling to this day. There isn't a bit of soundtrack in the movie, which also makes the bird's screeches stand out more. Though the story seems a little contrived. It's basically a romantic comedy that turns into a horror movie. Tippi Hedren's character is a stalker, no doubt about it, but that's ok because the guy she is stalking wants to bone her. Other than the odd setup, its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: The Birds is the heartwarming tale of two unhinged fancy people courting disconcertingly over a backdrop of rural bird-murder. Hitchcock does a great job of making the innocuous stupidity of seagulls and turn it into dead-eyed malice. It's kinda like the reverse of Full Metal Jacket, the first bit is pretty banal and dead, much like I image the lives of the characters are, but then half way through it turns into a different movie, one where people get fucked up by egg-laying demons from the sky. I quite enjoyed The Birds in all, definitely give it a shot.
2: Psycho
Psycho starts out as a woman trying to escape after committing a crime. She hides out in a motel and then shit gets crazy. Anthony Perkins makes this movie. Everyone in it is good, but he is great. He's charming, disarming and unsettling all at once, and it makes him one of the best psychopaths in movie history. I also loved the way that Hitchcock used a narration track to show what Janet Leigh's character thought other people thought of her. It is an interesting way of going about showing the turmoil a character is feeling. The movie is tense and full of depth, it is fantastic. I know that this movie is well known for its twist but just in case you haven't seen it I don't want to talk about it here. Watch it.
Eshi: Psycho is kind of a delightful downward spiral. Things consistently get worse for pretty much everyone and it culminates in deep crazy in a way that was revolutionary for the time. As Brian said, Anthony Perkins is the soul of this film, though the fact that he then goes on to be involved in a Hitchcock-free Psycho 2 and 3 is somewhat discouraging. Psycho is a legendary piece of cinema and it deserves it.
3: Rope
I am disappointed in myself for not having seen this movie before. It is fantastic. The movie was shot in only a few long shots/takes (read the IMDB trivia page for some interesting stuff on that) which explains some of the odd shots that they do for transitions. Rope is about two people who kill a man because he is "intellectually inferior" to them. One of the men, who planned the whole thing, decides to throw a party afterwords to flaunt how perfect his crime is. One of the guests that he invites (James Stewart) figures out that something is wrong and spends the rest of the movie piecing the murder together. Jimmy Stewart is great, and plays an amazing character. His monologue at the end of the film is great and adds a good amount of weight to the preceding. John Dall also plays an amazing bad guy, even though he makes some very stupid mistakes. This movie is a great, tense, thriller that you should watch, if you like that kind of thing.
Eshi: This movie could alternately be titled "Pride Cometh Before the Fall" or "Nice Try Asshole". Jimmy Stewart is fucking phenomenal as the keen, misanthropic professor, and his overall chemistry shines with very nearly everyone on set. The whole film is peppered with agonizing shots and dialog as everyone at the party just barely edges around finding out the truth. Fucking masterful, watch it.
1: The Birds
I saw this movie when I was in middle school, and it has stuck with me since then. The Birds is an interesting horror movie premise because it takes something that is always in the background and makes it the danger. In the movie Psycho, Norman Bates even says that birds are naturally passive so it makes them seem non-threatening. This is the very basis of what makes good horror, and this was my first real example of that. The scenes where like 500 birds are all standing around, watching, are still chilling to this day. There isn't a bit of soundtrack in the movie, which also makes the bird's screeches stand out more. Though the story seems a little contrived. It's basically a romantic comedy that turns into a horror movie. Tippi Hedren's character is a stalker, no doubt about it, but that's ok because the guy she is stalking wants to bone her. Other than the odd setup, its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: The Birds is the heartwarming tale of two unhinged fancy people courting disconcertingly over a backdrop of rural bird-murder. Hitchcock does a great job of making the innocuous stupidity of seagulls and turn it into dead-eyed malice. It's kinda like the reverse of Full Metal Jacket, the first bit is pretty banal and dead, much like I image the lives of the characters are, but then half way through it turns into a different movie, one where people get fucked up by egg-laying demons from the sky. I quite enjoyed The Birds in all, definitely give it a shot.
2: Psycho
Psycho starts out as a woman trying to escape after committing a crime. She hides out in a motel and then shit gets crazy. Anthony Perkins makes this movie. Everyone in it is good, but he is great. He's charming, disarming and unsettling all at once, and it makes him one of the best psychopaths in movie history. I also loved the way that Hitchcock used a narration track to show what Janet Leigh's character thought other people thought of her. It is an interesting way of going about showing the turmoil a character is feeling. The movie is tense and full of depth, it is fantastic. I know that this movie is well known for its twist but just in case you haven't seen it I don't want to talk about it here. Watch it.
Eshi: Psycho is kind of a delightful downward spiral. Things consistently get worse for pretty much everyone and it culminates in deep crazy in a way that was revolutionary for the time. As Brian said, Anthony Perkins is the soul of this film, though the fact that he then goes on to be involved in a Hitchcock-free Psycho 2 and 3 is somewhat discouraging. Psycho is a legendary piece of cinema and it deserves it.
3: Rope
I am disappointed in myself for not having seen this movie before. It is fantastic. The movie was shot in only a few long shots/takes (read the IMDB trivia page for some interesting stuff on that) which explains some of the odd shots that they do for transitions. Rope is about two people who kill a man because he is "intellectually inferior" to them. One of the men, who planned the whole thing, decides to throw a party afterwords to flaunt how perfect his crime is. One of the guests that he invites (James Stewart) figures out that something is wrong and spends the rest of the movie piecing the murder together. Jimmy Stewart is great, and plays an amazing character. His monologue at the end of the film is great and adds a good amount of weight to the preceding. John Dall also plays an amazing bad guy, even though he makes some very stupid mistakes. This movie is a great, tense, thriller that you should watch, if you like that kind of thing.
Eshi: This movie could alternately be titled "Pride Cometh Before the Fall" or "Nice Try Asshole". Jimmy Stewart is fucking phenomenal as the keen, misanthropic professor, and his overall chemistry shines with very nearly everyone on set. The whole film is peppered with agonizing shots and dialog as everyone at the party just barely edges around finding out the truth. Fucking masterful, watch it.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to fill in some cultural gaps for Eshi by watching the Indiana Jones Trilogy. Now, I saw these movies when I was like, 12. I remember liking them a lot. I mean, Han Solo, running around being an archeologist, hell yes. There is no denying the cultural impact of these movies, and the disappointment from the fourth was probably felt a little harder because of what we had come to expect from the series. Regardless, lets take a look at the good ones. To the list!
1: Raiders of The Lost Ark
One of the first things I noticed about rewatching this at my age; did Indy rape Marion? Is Indy a pedophile? Here, this is their entire exchange (taken from IMDB):
1: Raiders of The Lost Ark
One of the first things I noticed about rewatching this at my age; did Indy rape Marion? Is Indy a pedophile? Here, this is their entire exchange (taken from IMDB):
Indiana:
Hello, Marion.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.
[Marion surprises him with a right cross to the jaw]
Marion: I've learned to hate you in the last ten years!
Indiana: I never meant to hurt you.
Marion: I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it!
Indiana: You knew what you were doing.
Marion: Now I do. This is my place. Get out!
This is an uncomfortable thing that popped up in our rewatching of raiders that I didn't see when I was younger, and it kind of lends a fucked up flavor to the rest of the movie. Regardless, I just wanted to point it out in case any one else might have forgotten about it. Raiders is a pretty good movie about an "archeologist" working for the U.S. government and tasked with finding the ark of the covenant before the Nazis because it might be a weapon. Harrison Ford is really good at playing a rogue archetype. He has the looks and the charisma to pull it off well, which is why he also flourished as Han Solo. While the movie takes some pretty extreme liberties with archeology, it's still fun to watch. Like its sequels, you cannot take it to seriously. These movies are meant to be pulp-y adventures and Raiders catches that feeling well. Chases are over the top, the fights are exciting, and the movie revels in bombastic set pieces. The cast is good, and have good chemistry together. Its a fun movie, that influenced so much in cinema that it should be watched just to see the influence it lends.
Eshi: I've ignored the whole Indiana Jones franchise for years. Didn't watch it as a kid until the unspeakable fourth one came out, and that kinda poisoned me against the rest of the series. Recently, as Brian said, I've been trying to fill in some of my cinematic gaps. So we decided Indy had to happen. Raiders was lots of fun. Harrison Ford, as a tomb-raiding archeologist in a world where the average I.Q. is down thirty or forty points on average, is the lovable, bumbling douchebag so many action stars wish they could pull off. You end up liking him despite yourself, implied sexual exploitation and everything. It's worth the watch on a lazy weekend.
2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
I am not really a fan of this movie. It feels too much like the people who made it wanted to make a more child friendly movie than raiders to expand the demographic. That being said, there is some gruesome shit in this movie that makes it not ok for kids. People are ripped apart by gators at one point. The main bad guy rips the heart out of someone's chest and the burns them alive (long story involving evil magic). This movie was the weakest in the trilogy until they decided to not make it a trilogy anymore. It seems a little too much like "white guy saves the day" for me, and I don't think it has a great grasp on the religion it portrays (why the hell was a voodoo doll in this movie?). That being said, some of the chase scenes are fun and the movie is at least watchable. Also, what the hell happened to Short Round? This movie takes place a year before raiders, but he is not in that movie at all. Just saying. Anyway, check it out.
Eshi: Racism is out of control. Temple of Doom develops an auto-fellatio problem that only seems to worsen as the franchise continues. ToD is a prequel, which has the unfortunate side effect of making Dr. Jones in the first movie an even bigger piece of shit. Indy isn't just an affable dickhead anymore, he's a willingly deluded (watches a dude murder people with his racist hate magic, still doesn't believe in all the "hocus pocus"), multiple-kidnapper (Short Round is a fucking street urchin that Indy just kinda takes, and he literally holds Kate Capshaw's character hostage in order to extort/escape from fucking mobsters), whose most endearing feature is a meme. Feel free to skip this one.
3: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
I really like this movie. Some of the "puzzles" that get solved don't make sense (the roman numeral one in particular seemed stupid) and how Indiana speaks English in Nazi Germany and isn't arrested didn't make sense, but it is still a fun movie. After watching all those James Bond movies it was nice to see Sean Connery as a bumbler. Connery is a great actor, and he has a lot of fun with this role. I found it odd that they made one of the Nazis seem like they might turn around and be a good guy but then just drops that and kills them off. The movie still remains action packed with some great chase scenes. I love it when a movie just decides to go over the top and does so well. It's so easy for that to get out of hand and dumb, but Last Crusade handles the action with finesse (most of the time). This movie is fun, check it out. Also, remember your Charlemagne.
Eshi: I feel like Sean Connery kinda saved this movie. Indy continues his decent into masturbatory material for Spielberg and Lucas, wandering ever farther into the land of unintentional competence porn. Allison Doody has no chemistry with Harrison Ford whatsoever, which makes his persistent molestation, and her apparent apathy, uncomfortable. Connery, however, is just the right amount of clueless nerd, confusedly stumbling through hostile situations, too oblivious to acknowledge his own immanent peril. Last Crusade is back to fun, despite it's flaws. Maybe give it a go.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.
[Marion surprises him with a right cross to the jaw]
Marion: I've learned to hate you in the last ten years!
Indiana: I never meant to hurt you.
Marion: I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it!
Indiana: You knew what you were doing.
Marion: Now I do. This is my place. Get out!
This is an uncomfortable thing that popped up in our rewatching of raiders that I didn't see when I was younger, and it kind of lends a fucked up flavor to the rest of the movie. Regardless, I just wanted to point it out in case any one else might have forgotten about it. Raiders is a pretty good movie about an "archeologist" working for the U.S. government and tasked with finding the ark of the covenant before the Nazis because it might be a weapon. Harrison Ford is really good at playing a rogue archetype. He has the looks and the charisma to pull it off well, which is why he also flourished as Han Solo. While the movie takes some pretty extreme liberties with archeology, it's still fun to watch. Like its sequels, you cannot take it to seriously. These movies are meant to be pulp-y adventures and Raiders catches that feeling well. Chases are over the top, the fights are exciting, and the movie revels in bombastic set pieces. The cast is good, and have good chemistry together. Its a fun movie, that influenced so much in cinema that it should be watched just to see the influence it lends.
Eshi: I've ignored the whole Indiana Jones franchise for years. Didn't watch it as a kid until the unspeakable fourth one came out, and that kinda poisoned me against the rest of the series. Recently, as Brian said, I've been trying to fill in some of my cinematic gaps. So we decided Indy had to happen. Raiders was lots of fun. Harrison Ford, as a tomb-raiding archeologist in a world where the average I.Q. is down thirty or forty points on average, is the lovable, bumbling douchebag so many action stars wish they could pull off. You end up liking him despite yourself, implied sexual exploitation and everything. It's worth the watch on a lazy weekend.
2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
I am not really a fan of this movie. It feels too much like the people who made it wanted to make a more child friendly movie than raiders to expand the demographic. That being said, there is some gruesome shit in this movie that makes it not ok for kids. People are ripped apart by gators at one point. The main bad guy rips the heart out of someone's chest and the burns them alive (long story involving evil magic). This movie was the weakest in the trilogy until they decided to not make it a trilogy anymore. It seems a little too much like "white guy saves the day" for me, and I don't think it has a great grasp on the religion it portrays (why the hell was a voodoo doll in this movie?). That being said, some of the chase scenes are fun and the movie is at least watchable. Also, what the hell happened to Short Round? This movie takes place a year before raiders, but he is not in that movie at all. Just saying. Anyway, check it out.
Eshi: Racism is out of control. Temple of Doom develops an auto-fellatio problem that only seems to worsen as the franchise continues. ToD is a prequel, which has the unfortunate side effect of making Dr. Jones in the first movie an even bigger piece of shit. Indy isn't just an affable dickhead anymore, he's a willingly deluded (watches a dude murder people with his racist hate magic, still doesn't believe in all the "hocus pocus"), multiple-kidnapper (Short Round is a fucking street urchin that Indy just kinda takes, and he literally holds Kate Capshaw's character hostage in order to extort/escape from fucking mobsters), whose most endearing feature is a meme. Feel free to skip this one.
3: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
I really like this movie. Some of the "puzzles" that get solved don't make sense (the roman numeral one in particular seemed stupid) and how Indiana speaks English in Nazi Germany and isn't arrested didn't make sense, but it is still a fun movie. After watching all those James Bond movies it was nice to see Sean Connery as a bumbler. Connery is a great actor, and he has a lot of fun with this role. I found it odd that they made one of the Nazis seem like they might turn around and be a good guy but then just drops that and kills them off. The movie still remains action packed with some great chase scenes. I love it when a movie just decides to go over the top and does so well. It's so easy for that to get out of hand and dumb, but Last Crusade handles the action with finesse (most of the time). This movie is fun, check it out. Also, remember your Charlemagne.
Eshi: I feel like Sean Connery kinda saved this movie. Indy continues his decent into masturbatory material for Spielberg and Lucas, wandering ever farther into the land of unintentional competence porn. Allison Doody has no chemistry with Harrison Ford whatsoever, which makes his persistent molestation, and her apparent apathy, uncomfortable. Connery, however, is just the right amount of clueless nerd, confusedly stumbling through hostile situations, too oblivious to acknowledge his own immanent peril. Last Crusade is back to fun, despite it's flaws. Maybe give it a go.
Friday, April 1, 2016
Weeklly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. Our theme was basically bat shit insane bible mythology, and wow, boy was it ever. This week our list is a bit shorter than usual, but both movies on it are pretty good, so, there is that. To the list!
1: He Never Died
He Never Died is about a guy who cannot die fucking up mafiosi because they won't stop knocking on his door. I wasn't sure about this movie until but a couple minutes in it grabbed my attention and had me loving it. HND is a horror comedy with some excellent practical effects, and some pretty funny scenes. Most of the comedy comes from the strange intensity or Henry Rollins, who plays the main character. While Mr. Rollins is pretty good the rest of the cast is only OK, but I think that has more to do with the direction rather than the script. Other than the Villain and the main character, every other character has pretty similar personalities, which does more harm than good in the long run. Also people act surprisingly sane when faced with some of the shit that happens in the movie. *spoiler* If I shoot a guy in the head and he keeps coming, I am not going to try to punch him, I'm going to fucking run. *end Spoilers*. Despite the negatives its still a fun movie to watch with some friends. Check it out.
Eshi: Henry Rollins is pretty fucking awesome, both in this film and generally. There's a pretty wide streak of "oh shit" in He Never Died, a streak I often find lacking in movies of this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's fun as hell, but it's no big budget blockbuster. Steven Ogg is in it and he's always a delight. HND is one of those movies where you don't want to share too much, not necessarily on grounds of spoilers but just because the whole experience deserves to be fresh, so give it a shot.
2: Let Us Pray
Let Us Pray is a bottle movie in a police station during the worst first day for any police officer ever. Damn near everyone in the small town in which this movie takes place is insane, and one man appears and starts to exacerbate it. The town's newest police officer then tries to survive all of the crazy that is brought to the surface. Man, with LUP and Filth, I don't think I would ever want to deal with Scottish police in any way. Liam Cunningham plays the devil, and does a good job of it. He is less the charismatic version of the devil and more the intense whisperer in the shadows who prods people into making poor decisions. I am a fan of Cunningham, and this is the kind of role he is great at. Pollyanna McIntosh plays the new police constable on duty and is a fine actress, though I would like to see what she could do with a better script. This movie is a little disappointing when it comes to the writing. There are a couple of ok moments in the movie, but the rest of it is just mediocre. The writing seems fairly average and there are some plot holes that I don't want to get too into here. Admittedly, I had high expectations going in, so I may be judging it a little harshly. Its an ok movie, so check it out if you have nothing better to do.
Eshi: The big draw for me on this movie is Liam Cunningham, he nails this role in ways it doesn't entirely deserve. LUP finds itself with an excess of concept and a dearth of delivery. The score is pretty fucking cliche, to the point of distraction, and the dialog comes off as weird quasi-theological fanfic in several unfortunately crucial places. I do really enjoy this movie, the violence is cathartic and Cunningham plays a Baali/Ravnos like a fucking boss, but I don't entirely feel good about it.
1: He Never Died
He Never Died is about a guy who cannot die fucking up mafiosi because they won't stop knocking on his door. I wasn't sure about this movie until but a couple minutes in it grabbed my attention and had me loving it. HND is a horror comedy with some excellent practical effects, and some pretty funny scenes. Most of the comedy comes from the strange intensity or Henry Rollins, who plays the main character. While Mr. Rollins is pretty good the rest of the cast is only OK, but I think that has more to do with the direction rather than the script. Other than the Villain and the main character, every other character has pretty similar personalities, which does more harm than good in the long run. Also people act surprisingly sane when faced with some of the shit that happens in the movie. *spoiler* If I shoot a guy in the head and he keeps coming, I am not going to try to punch him, I'm going to fucking run. *end Spoilers*. Despite the negatives its still a fun movie to watch with some friends. Check it out.
Eshi: Henry Rollins is pretty fucking awesome, both in this film and generally. There's a pretty wide streak of "oh shit" in He Never Died, a streak I often find lacking in movies of this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's fun as hell, but it's no big budget blockbuster. Steven Ogg is in it and he's always a delight. HND is one of those movies where you don't want to share too much, not necessarily on grounds of spoilers but just because the whole experience deserves to be fresh, so give it a shot.
2: Let Us Pray
Let Us Pray is a bottle movie in a police station during the worst first day for any police officer ever. Damn near everyone in the small town in which this movie takes place is insane, and one man appears and starts to exacerbate it. The town's newest police officer then tries to survive all of the crazy that is brought to the surface. Man, with LUP and Filth, I don't think I would ever want to deal with Scottish police in any way. Liam Cunningham plays the devil, and does a good job of it. He is less the charismatic version of the devil and more the intense whisperer in the shadows who prods people into making poor decisions. I am a fan of Cunningham, and this is the kind of role he is great at. Pollyanna McIntosh plays the new police constable on duty and is a fine actress, though I would like to see what she could do with a better script. This movie is a little disappointing when it comes to the writing. There are a couple of ok moments in the movie, but the rest of it is just mediocre. The writing seems fairly average and there are some plot holes that I don't want to get too into here. Admittedly, I had high expectations going in, so I may be judging it a little harshly. Its an ok movie, so check it out if you have nothing better to do.
Eshi: The big draw for me on this movie is Liam Cunningham, he nails this role in ways it doesn't entirely deserve. LUP finds itself with an excess of concept and a dearth of delivery. The score is pretty fucking cliche, to the point of distraction, and the dialog comes off as weird quasi-theological fanfic in several unfortunately crucial places. I do really enjoy this movie, the violence is cathartic and Cunningham plays a Baali/Ravnos like a fucking boss, but I don't entirely feel good about it.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to watch some standup comedy specials. Not a lot to talk about in the intro other than this might have been a bad idea since there isn't a lot we can to to talk about the specials without ruining them. Well anyway: to the list!
1: Funny Business
Jimmy Carr is a British comedian, and while not my favorite, he is pretty funny. For me personally his comedy specials always pale in comparison to him just improving on panel shows (basically game shows starring comedians for those of you who don't know). Carr is known for his acerbic tone in his comedy, and a master of the false setup kind of joke (the kind that play off of the misconceptions of the crowd). This special is his latest one, released on netflix. Its funny, though I kind of had an issue with it in that he spends half the special just playing off of jokes people tweeted to him. He is funny with it, but it seems a little lazy, which is sad because I know how funny he can be. That said, the rest of the show is great, and his banter with the audience is fun. Give it a watch, you'll enjoy it.
Eshi: Jimmy Carr does a hell of a one-liner, and his crowd work is pretty top shelf, but I feel like he wasn't really ready to do a special. As Brian said, there is a disappointingly long part of the set that's pretty much just him reading other people's tweets, which seems like cheating at best. He carries on the proud tradition of U.K. comedians and delightfully casual vulgarity. I'm genuinely impressed at the myriad ways Jimmy can mock someone sexually. Funny Business was alright, but maybe try his show.
2: Comedy Camisado
Hannibal Buress is a great comedian who makes me a little sad because his career is not exploding as quickly as a lot of other modern comedians. He deserves a lot more work, though I would say that about most comedians nowadays. That being said, every time he has been in something he has been good. He did get some attention for bringing up the Bill Cosby rape accusations prior to them becoming very public. His take on the world is great, and he has some excellent stories. His special was solid, I don't think its his best, but definitely worth the watch. Check it out.
Eshi: I really enjoy Hannibal Buress' stand up, but I think I prefer him as a writer. He's pretty much always a funny fucker but as a writer he can channel that funny through contextually more amusing people without having to draw on real life. An ability that will serve him well in trying to be widely recognized as something other than the guy who started the Cosby thing. Hannibal does damn fine work, and I look forward to seeing more of it.
3: Nice Try, The Devil
Pete Holmes is great. I first saw him on college humor with his "Badman" videos, and instantly loved him. He had a talk show for a couple seasons on TBS where he did more Badman like sketches that were great, but unfortunately he got cancelled. His show was great. It focused a lot on positive mindsets and how dumb jokes should be reveled in because they can make you feel better. He is a fun comedian to watch because he is very animated, and you can see how much fun he is having just being a comedian. Watch it.
Eshi: Pete Holmes always kinda seems like a refugee from Cool World, but like in a good way. The man is a cartoon version of himself and he deserves your goddamn admiration. He seems to genuinely love making people laugh and derives a clear joy from his own jokes that can't help but be infectious. This is a link to his youtube page, because I love you and I want you to have a good day.
1: Funny Business
Jimmy Carr is a British comedian, and while not my favorite, he is pretty funny. For me personally his comedy specials always pale in comparison to him just improving on panel shows (basically game shows starring comedians for those of you who don't know). Carr is known for his acerbic tone in his comedy, and a master of the false setup kind of joke (the kind that play off of the misconceptions of the crowd). This special is his latest one, released on netflix. Its funny, though I kind of had an issue with it in that he spends half the special just playing off of jokes people tweeted to him. He is funny with it, but it seems a little lazy, which is sad because I know how funny he can be. That said, the rest of the show is great, and his banter with the audience is fun. Give it a watch, you'll enjoy it.
Eshi: Jimmy Carr does a hell of a one-liner, and his crowd work is pretty top shelf, but I feel like he wasn't really ready to do a special. As Brian said, there is a disappointingly long part of the set that's pretty much just him reading other people's tweets, which seems like cheating at best. He carries on the proud tradition of U.K. comedians and delightfully casual vulgarity. I'm genuinely impressed at the myriad ways Jimmy can mock someone sexually. Funny Business was alright, but maybe try his show.
2: Comedy Camisado
Hannibal Buress is a great comedian who makes me a little sad because his career is not exploding as quickly as a lot of other modern comedians. He deserves a lot more work, though I would say that about most comedians nowadays. That being said, every time he has been in something he has been good. He did get some attention for bringing up the Bill Cosby rape accusations prior to them becoming very public. His take on the world is great, and he has some excellent stories. His special was solid, I don't think its his best, but definitely worth the watch. Check it out.
Eshi: I really enjoy Hannibal Buress' stand up, but I think I prefer him as a writer. He's pretty much always a funny fucker but as a writer he can channel that funny through contextually more amusing people without having to draw on real life. An ability that will serve him well in trying to be widely recognized as something other than the guy who started the Cosby thing. Hannibal does damn fine work, and I look forward to seeing more of it.
3: Nice Try, The Devil
Pete Holmes is great. I first saw him on college humor with his "Badman" videos, and instantly loved him. He had a talk show for a couple seasons on TBS where he did more Badman like sketches that were great, but unfortunately he got cancelled. His show was great. It focused a lot on positive mindsets and how dumb jokes should be reveled in because they can make you feel better. He is a fun comedian to watch because he is very animated, and you can see how much fun he is having just being a comedian. Watch it.
Eshi: Pete Holmes always kinda seems like a refugee from Cool World, but like in a good way. The man is a cartoon version of himself and he deserves your goddamn admiration. He seems to genuinely love making people laugh and derives a clear joy from his own jokes that can't help but be infectious. This is a link to his youtube page, because I love you and I want you to have a good day.
Friday, March 11, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. Sorry for being gone for so long, but we are back with some new movies, and this week its some from our favorite genre: Crime. To the list!
1: Filth
I am a fan of Trainspotting so I was looking forward to watching this one, forgetting one of the major reasons I flinch every time Trainspotting is mentioned. This is a heavy movie, decorated with some laughs. Don't get me wrong dear reader, its a great movie. I was just blindsided by how bleak it is, considering the tone at the beginning. Filth is about a cop trying to manipulate his way to a higher position in his department. He is tasked with leading an investigation into the murder of a man, all the while dealing with a very pronounced mental instability issue. James McAvoy is great in the lead role. His character is undeniably a monster, but McAvoy is so charismatic that you cannot help but want to like the guy, and even sympathize with him when certain shit goes down. Its a good movie, but don't expect it to walk away joyful. Watch it.
Eshi: Fuck, man. Filth has an emotional trajectory like an orbital bombardment. Beautiful and evocative as it is, the beauty is morbid and the main thing it evokes is discomfort. McAvoy is perfectly set up to leverage his charm against the loathsome and pitiful character he plays, and his vast cast of victims are just the right combination of helpless and confrontational. Filth, like Trainspotting, hurts to watch, but you can't help but appreciate it. Just maybe have something a little lighter hearted lined up for after.
2: Scarface
This movie could also be called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Tony Montana". Scarface is a movie about a Cuban immigrant working his way to the top of the drug underworld in 1980s Miami. The moral being ruthlessness will get you power, but in the end it is an empty existence. Creating a position for yourself at the top gives you a beautiful wife and a nice house, but its all shallow and unfulfilling. Al Pachino is, as always, great at playing slightly unstable, shouty characters; so this role was made for him. The movie is slow in places, but ultimately its is good, and a great example of character based drama. Its a good movie, and worth watching for the cultural impact factor alone.
Eshi: The fact that anyone admires Tony Montana shows a fundamental failing in our culture. Rule #4 was made for fuckers like him. Scarface is 2 hours and 50 minutes of a spectacular douchebag fucking over everyone he possibly can for like, no reason. I can't even fully convey what a colossal piece of shit this character is. He's like an onion made of the worst diarrhea you've ever had, layer upon layer of pain and disgust. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but only because I knew how it ended. Fuck this guy, and everyone who looks like him.
3: Horrible Bosses
Considering the tone of the first two movies this week we decided to close out with something fun. HB is about three friends who decide to kill their bosses because they are making work terrible. While that sounds harrowing, it is made less so by the people all being fucking terrible at the whole killing people thing. I love the cast, and they have great chemistry together. Charlie Day in particular stands out to me, but that's just because I wish he was in more stuff. This movie is fun, as long as you don't take it seriously at all. Watch it with some buddies while drinking and you will have a good time.
Eshi: After Filth and Scarface we needed a pretty strong palette cleanser and Horrible Bosses did the job well. The characters are well crafted to their roles and watching Charlie Day and friends fail their way to victory is a joy. Of course, I'd watch Charlie Day shit furtively into a box if he got to write it himself. My only regret about this movie is that they made another one; which is a sentence I find myself using too often for comfort these days. Definitely give this one a try, preferably whilst intoxicated and certainly with friends.
1: Filth
I am a fan of Trainspotting so I was looking forward to watching this one, forgetting one of the major reasons I flinch every time Trainspotting is mentioned. This is a heavy movie, decorated with some laughs. Don't get me wrong dear reader, its a great movie. I was just blindsided by how bleak it is, considering the tone at the beginning. Filth is about a cop trying to manipulate his way to a higher position in his department. He is tasked with leading an investigation into the murder of a man, all the while dealing with a very pronounced mental instability issue. James McAvoy is great in the lead role. His character is undeniably a monster, but McAvoy is so charismatic that you cannot help but want to like the guy, and even sympathize with him when certain shit goes down. Its a good movie, but don't expect it to walk away joyful. Watch it.
Eshi: Fuck, man. Filth has an emotional trajectory like an orbital bombardment. Beautiful and evocative as it is, the beauty is morbid and the main thing it evokes is discomfort. McAvoy is perfectly set up to leverage his charm against the loathsome and pitiful character he plays, and his vast cast of victims are just the right combination of helpless and confrontational. Filth, like Trainspotting, hurts to watch, but you can't help but appreciate it. Just maybe have something a little lighter hearted lined up for after.
2: Scarface
This movie could also be called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Tony Montana". Scarface is a movie about a Cuban immigrant working his way to the top of the drug underworld in 1980s Miami. The moral being ruthlessness will get you power, but in the end it is an empty existence. Creating a position for yourself at the top gives you a beautiful wife and a nice house, but its all shallow and unfulfilling. Al Pachino is, as always, great at playing slightly unstable, shouty characters; so this role was made for him. The movie is slow in places, but ultimately its is good, and a great example of character based drama. Its a good movie, and worth watching for the cultural impact factor alone.
Eshi: The fact that anyone admires Tony Montana shows a fundamental failing in our culture. Rule #4 was made for fuckers like him. Scarface is 2 hours and 50 minutes of a spectacular douchebag fucking over everyone he possibly can for like, no reason. I can't even fully convey what a colossal piece of shit this character is. He's like an onion made of the worst diarrhea you've ever had, layer upon layer of pain and disgust. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but only because I knew how it ended. Fuck this guy, and everyone who looks like him.
3: Horrible Bosses
Considering the tone of the first two movies this week we decided to close out with something fun. HB is about three friends who decide to kill their bosses because they are making work terrible. While that sounds harrowing, it is made less so by the people all being fucking terrible at the whole killing people thing. I love the cast, and they have great chemistry together. Charlie Day in particular stands out to me, but that's just because I wish he was in more stuff. This movie is fun, as long as you don't take it seriously at all. Watch it with some buddies while drinking and you will have a good time.
Eshi: After Filth and Scarface we needed a pretty strong palette cleanser and Horrible Bosses did the job well. The characters are well crafted to their roles and watching Charlie Day and friends fail their way to victory is a joy. Of course, I'd watch Charlie Day shit furtively into a box if he got to write it himself. My only regret about this movie is that they made another one; which is a sentence I find myself using too often for comfort these days. Definitely give this one a try, preferably whilst intoxicated and certainly with friends.
Monday, February 29, 2016
I Dare You M. Night
I goddamn loath M. Night Shyamalan. Not like I hate J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon, for genius abused. No, I hate Shyamalan for genius avoided. M. Night has the potential to be the greatest B movie director of all time. Its something that Brian and I talked about a little while ago that has stuck in the deepest place in my craw, because I kinda love B movies and his premises are perfect for the medium. So I've taken it upon myself to right this wrong and set the world right... re-imagining his movies as intentionally bad, instead of just depressing. Starting with The Village
The actual premise of this movie is an 18th century village is accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters. The twist is that the monsters are really the village elders in costumes who founded the village to escape modern life and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor social experiment. In my version its an 18th century village being accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters, but the twist is that the werewolves are actually the village elders in bad wigs, who founded the village to escape actual werewolves and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor sexual fantasies. Then at the end M. Night could get torn apart amidst a poorly choreographed werewolf/ history professor blood orgy. Actually, the whole movie could just be Shyamalan being slowly torn apart by people in tweed jackets and furry gloves and I'd pay to see it.
The actual premise of this movie is an 18th century village is accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters. The twist is that the monsters are really the village elders in costumes who founded the village to escape modern life and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor social experiment. In my version its an 18th century village being accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters, but the twist is that the werewolves are actually the village elders in bad wigs, who founded the village to escape actual werewolves and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor sexual fantasies. Then at the end M. Night could get torn apart amidst a poorly choreographed werewolf/ history professor blood orgy. Actually, the whole movie could just be Shyamalan being slowly torn apart by people in tweed jackets and furry gloves and I'd pay to see it.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to delve into Jackie Chan movies. We were both in the mood for some over the top kung-fu acrobatics and this week certainly delivers. Jackie Chan is well known for how awesomely choreographed his movies are, and the films this week deliver that well. My favorite part of Jackie Chan movies are the credits though, where they show just how the stunts can so easily fuck up. It was a fun week. To the list!
1: Rumble in The Bronx
Rumble is one of the classic Kung-fu movie structures. Guy comes in from out of town, gets caught up in a plot because they kick the ass of someone bad, then uses the power of head-kicking to resolve the issue. Jackie Chan is a young man in town for his uncle's marriage. While in town he beats up some people who try to rob his uncle's supermarket which leads to a gang war between Jackie Chan and a bunch of neighborhood toughs. This movie has all of the crazy jumping around the environment and using it to hurt people that you have come to expect from Chan, though I will say the lack of police presence in the movie makes no damn sense. I get that they are in bad part of town, but the bad guys do some very noisy violence that should have attracted a lot more attention than it did. Overall the movie is a fun time. The cast is suitably over the top, and Jackie Chan is understandably great. Watch it, it's a good time.
Eshi: Its weird, but one of my favorite things about this movie is how little it relies on a story. There is one, don't get me wrong, its just that no one really seems to care about it. There are some gangbangers and some big time syndicate types, the cops even come in for fifteen minutes at the end to vaguely legitimize a hovercraft chase through New York. Jackie Chan gets his ass kicked pretty bad in this one, both in character and just normally. Not that that is particularly unique in his films, but some of the hits in the credits are pretty nasty and there's a five minute scene of his character just standing in front of a wall getting torn apart by bottles of malt liquor. Be forewarned, though, it just kind of drops you when its done. No epilogue, no resolution, just "done now".
2: Little Big Soldier
LBS takes place during the Three Kingdoms era of history in China, and is essentially a road trip movie about a soldier who "captures" an enemy general and tries to bring him back to his country in order to turn him over for a reward so he can become a farmer. This movie covers a lot of bases. You still get the amazing choreographed fight scenes and comedy, but there is also a lot of heart to the movie. Ultimately it is about how war is fucked up, and hurts everyone. The cast it great, Jackie Chan and Leehom Wang in particular have some great chemistry together. Its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: This is my favorite Jackie Chan movie. I don't feel like there's much to be said about this film except that it's required watching for fans of foreign cinema. The characters are compelling, the story is genuine and heartfelt, just... watch this fucking movie. Seriously, its a very worthy hour and a half.
3: The Legend of The Drunken Master
This is probably my favorite Jackie Chan movie of the ones I've watched. Its funny and has some of the most amazing fight scenes I have ever seen. While on a train with his father and father's housekeeper to his home city, Fei-Hung (Chan) gets caught up in a smuggling ring and finds out about a British ambassador trying to steal a bunch of artifacts from China to sell to the British national museum. It is up to Fei-Hung and his friends to keep them from leaving the country. As I said before, the fight scenes in this movie are great, the last one in particular is wonderful. It has a great sense of humor, especially the drunken fighting style allows for a great deal of silliness. Anita Miu, who plays Fei-Hung's step-mother is also a stand out for me. Her comedy style lends itself well to this type of movie. Its a great movie, watch it.
Eshi: Drunken Master is probably the best choreographed martial arts film I've ever even heard of. All of the acrobatic and environmental combat that Jackie Chan is renowned for are perfected in this movie. The momentum, both of the plot and the combat is goddamn impeccable. About the only thing that's missing for me in this film is the Popeye music playing in the background whenever Fei-Hung drinks.
1: Rumble in The Bronx
Rumble is one of the classic Kung-fu movie structures. Guy comes in from out of town, gets caught up in a plot because they kick the ass of someone bad, then uses the power of head-kicking to resolve the issue. Jackie Chan is a young man in town for his uncle's marriage. While in town he beats up some people who try to rob his uncle's supermarket which leads to a gang war between Jackie Chan and a bunch of neighborhood toughs. This movie has all of the crazy jumping around the environment and using it to hurt people that you have come to expect from Chan, though I will say the lack of police presence in the movie makes no damn sense. I get that they are in bad part of town, but the bad guys do some very noisy violence that should have attracted a lot more attention than it did. Overall the movie is a fun time. The cast is suitably over the top, and Jackie Chan is understandably great. Watch it, it's a good time.
Eshi: Its weird, but one of my favorite things about this movie is how little it relies on a story. There is one, don't get me wrong, its just that no one really seems to care about it. There are some gangbangers and some big time syndicate types, the cops even come in for fifteen minutes at the end to vaguely legitimize a hovercraft chase through New York. Jackie Chan gets his ass kicked pretty bad in this one, both in character and just normally. Not that that is particularly unique in his films, but some of the hits in the credits are pretty nasty and there's a five minute scene of his character just standing in front of a wall getting torn apart by bottles of malt liquor. Be forewarned, though, it just kind of drops you when its done. No epilogue, no resolution, just "done now".
2: Little Big Soldier
LBS takes place during the Three Kingdoms era of history in China, and is essentially a road trip movie about a soldier who "captures" an enemy general and tries to bring him back to his country in order to turn him over for a reward so he can become a farmer. This movie covers a lot of bases. You still get the amazing choreographed fight scenes and comedy, but there is also a lot of heart to the movie. Ultimately it is about how war is fucked up, and hurts everyone. The cast it great, Jackie Chan and Leehom Wang in particular have some great chemistry together. Its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: This is my favorite Jackie Chan movie. I don't feel like there's much to be said about this film except that it's required watching for fans of foreign cinema. The characters are compelling, the story is genuine and heartfelt, just... watch this fucking movie. Seriously, its a very worthy hour and a half.
3: The Legend of The Drunken Master
This is probably my favorite Jackie Chan movie of the ones I've watched. Its funny and has some of the most amazing fight scenes I have ever seen. While on a train with his father and father's housekeeper to his home city, Fei-Hung (Chan) gets caught up in a smuggling ring and finds out about a British ambassador trying to steal a bunch of artifacts from China to sell to the British national museum. It is up to Fei-Hung and his friends to keep them from leaving the country. As I said before, the fight scenes in this movie are great, the last one in particular is wonderful. It has a great sense of humor, especially the drunken fighting style allows for a great deal of silliness. Anita Miu, who plays Fei-Hung's step-mother is also a stand out for me. Her comedy style lends itself well to this type of movie. Its a great movie, watch it.
Eshi: Drunken Master is probably the best choreographed martial arts film I've ever even heard of. All of the acrobatic and environmental combat that Jackie Chan is renowned for are perfected in this movie. The momentum, both of the plot and the combat is goddamn impeccable. About the only thing that's missing for me in this film is the Popeye music playing in the background whenever Fei-Hung drinks.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to have some fun with 80s action movies. Over the top violence is great fun every once in a while, so if you are in the mood for that, check out some of this weeks picks. Don't expect a lot of realism with these movies and you will have a good time. To the list!
1: Big Trouble in Little China
BTiLC is a movie about a trucker helping his gambling buddy get his girlfriend back after she is kidnapped by a Chinese gang. The two get involved in a gang war against a gang who uses magic and other supernatural powers. This movie is fun, and it bucks trends of popular action films while still being a competent action film. The main character is cocky and over confident, which fucks him over several times (at least until the end of the film). Kurt Russell is great at playing the overconfident doofus, so the role was made for him.The main character doesn't even get the girl in the end. The action scenes are full of wire fighting and some good special effects. I think John Carpenter is one of the best at over the top special effects and this movie is a great example of that. Its a fun flick, watch it with some friends.
Eshi: Big Trouble is the standard "white guy saves the ethnics" trope when the white guy is John Wayne after a tragic DIY lobotomy accident. I love Kurt Russel, especially as the lucky incompetent, and this role is his fucking masterpiece. James Hong is delightful, as usual, the man plays a psychotic ancient sorcerer just as comfortably as he plays an ancient kung fu wizard. Kim Cattral is a little hammy but that stops really mattering after about ten minutes on screen. This film is worthy of a Saturday night, give it a shot.
2: Escape From New York
EFNY is a lot like BTiLC. Kurt Russel plays the main character, and it is written and directed by John Carpenter, but it is a far more serious film (on the surface at the very least). Snake Plissken is a criminal who is on his way to Manhattan, which has been turned into a super-prison. While he is being processed the President of the US crashlands on the island, and out of options, the police "ask" Snake to go onto the island and save the President in exchange for a pardon. This movie has some odd tonal issues. Its serious in some parts, i.e. the world will die to nuclear war if Snake fails, but at several points it just turns silly. At one point there is a musical number on Broadway about how New York Prison is fucked up. Regardless, its a fun movie, and another movie you should watch with friends.
Eshi: Escape from NY gave Hideo Kojima his first boner, and I'm weirdly okay with that. Snake Plissken is the painfully obvious inspiration for Solid Snake, and also the conceptual father of the "batman voice". He's also the president's only hope. Well, the president and some lady named Season with two lines in a Chock Full o' Nuts, but she gets dragged into a rape basement by a bunch of subterranean hobos. Isaac Hayes makes for a pretty believable murderous warlord and Harry Dean Stanton is as bewildered and interesting as always. This is one of those movies that I'm disappointed I hadn't seen yet, watch it if for no better reason than Kurt Russel gets to fight a giant with a nailbat.
3: Predator
This is another classic of the 80's, and one of the best action movies I have seen with two governors in it. A group of commandos is behind enemy lines when they realize that they are being hunted by something, and need to escape the jungle. With the combination of an invisible enemy and a harsh environment Predator is good at building tension. The cast is largely pretty good, and you can see why Ahhnold was popular in action back in the day. Carl Weathers' part is slightly ruined for me now though because of his character on Arrested Development. Its a great movie and a cultural touchstone that everyone should see at least once, especially if you want to find out what a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus looks like.
Eshi: I've just got to get it out of the way, Jesse "The Rapidly Cooling Body" Ventura is amazing in this movie. He's got like, five lines and they are all incomprehensibly macho. He's so many in this movie it gives him brain damage. Predator is another one of the action films that really walks the line between homophobic and thinly veiled gay porn. Not anywhere near as often or as aggressively as The Expendables, but its definitely there. Carl Weathers and Arnold have a strong but awkward chemistry that plays really well with the interaction between their characters. I feel like the random Hispanic woman was unnecessary, she isn't even really a love interest, she just serves as a one line local history dump and to kinda, sorta, almost justify Arnold's needless theory that the predator wont kill unarmed prey. It is a really fun action flick and has definitely earned its place in the pop culture annals.
1: Big Trouble in Little China
BTiLC is a movie about a trucker helping his gambling buddy get his girlfriend back after she is kidnapped by a Chinese gang. The two get involved in a gang war against a gang who uses magic and other supernatural powers. This movie is fun, and it bucks trends of popular action films while still being a competent action film. The main character is cocky and over confident, which fucks him over several times (at least until the end of the film). Kurt Russell is great at playing the overconfident doofus, so the role was made for him.The main character doesn't even get the girl in the end. The action scenes are full of wire fighting and some good special effects. I think John Carpenter is one of the best at over the top special effects and this movie is a great example of that. Its a fun flick, watch it with some friends.
Eshi: Big Trouble is the standard "white guy saves the ethnics" trope when the white guy is John Wayne after a tragic DIY lobotomy accident. I love Kurt Russel, especially as the lucky incompetent, and this role is his fucking masterpiece. James Hong is delightful, as usual, the man plays a psychotic ancient sorcerer just as comfortably as he plays an ancient kung fu wizard. Kim Cattral is a little hammy but that stops really mattering after about ten minutes on screen. This film is worthy of a Saturday night, give it a shot.
2: Escape From New York
EFNY is a lot like BTiLC. Kurt Russel plays the main character, and it is written and directed by John Carpenter, but it is a far more serious film (on the surface at the very least). Snake Plissken is a criminal who is on his way to Manhattan, which has been turned into a super-prison. While he is being processed the President of the US crashlands on the island, and out of options, the police "ask" Snake to go onto the island and save the President in exchange for a pardon. This movie has some odd tonal issues. Its serious in some parts, i.e. the world will die to nuclear war if Snake fails, but at several points it just turns silly. At one point there is a musical number on Broadway about how New York Prison is fucked up. Regardless, its a fun movie, and another movie you should watch with friends.
Eshi: Escape from NY gave Hideo Kojima his first boner, and I'm weirdly okay with that. Snake Plissken is the painfully obvious inspiration for Solid Snake, and also the conceptual father of the "batman voice". He's also the president's only hope. Well, the president and some lady named Season with two lines in a Chock Full o' Nuts, but she gets dragged into a rape basement by a bunch of subterranean hobos. Isaac Hayes makes for a pretty believable murderous warlord and Harry Dean Stanton is as bewildered and interesting as always. This is one of those movies that I'm disappointed I hadn't seen yet, watch it if for no better reason than Kurt Russel gets to fight a giant with a nailbat.
3: Predator
This is another classic of the 80's, and one of the best action movies I have seen with two governors in it. A group of commandos is behind enemy lines when they realize that they are being hunted by something, and need to escape the jungle. With the combination of an invisible enemy and a harsh environment Predator is good at building tension. The cast is largely pretty good, and you can see why Ahhnold was popular in action back in the day. Carl Weathers' part is slightly ruined for me now though because of his character on Arrested Development. Its a great movie and a cultural touchstone that everyone should see at least once, especially if you want to find out what a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus looks like.
Eshi: I've just got to get it out of the way, Jesse "The Rapidly Cooling Body" Ventura is amazing in this movie. He's got like, five lines and they are all incomprehensibly macho. He's so many in this movie it gives him brain damage. Predator is another one of the action films that really walks the line between homophobic and thinly veiled gay porn. Not anywhere near as often or as aggressively as The Expendables, but its definitely there. Carl Weathers and Arnold have a strong but awkward chemistry that plays really well with the interaction between their characters. I feel like the random Hispanic woman was unnecessary, she isn't even really a love interest, she just serves as a one line local history dump and to kinda, sorta, almost justify Arnold's needless theory that the predator wont kill unarmed prey. It is a really fun action flick and has definitely earned its place in the pop culture annals.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we delved back into the the madness strewn adventures of Lovecraft with some Cthulian themed movies. Eshi and I love this type of movie. Lovecraft's way of doing horror affects the soul in a way that is very satisfying. Unfortunately, this week was a little weak...You'll see. To the list!
1: The Color Out of Space
COoS is about a young man traveling to Germany to find his father who has gone missing. While in Germany he meets a man who knew his father from the war who tells the son about their first meeting and why the land is bad around this area. I have mixed feelings about the movie. There is some overuse of CGI where practical effects could have been used instead. There is also a bit too much green screen, but neither really detracted from the movie by itself. I get when a movie is made and you don't have all the resources to do it right so I have been trying to not hold it against them. My favorite part of the movie was how it was in black and white and one of the subjects of the movie is a creature that emits an unnatural color, and to show this they always show the alien in color. Its an interesting way of handling that. The part of this movie that kind of ruined it for me is how boring it was. I like the base idea, and even where it went with it, but the movie just didn't capture my attention. Its not terrible, but its not great. Watch it, but don't expect to many surprises.
Eshi: Too much of this movie is reliant on the audience giving a fuck about things it gives us no reason to give a fuck about. For a movie about a guy looking for his dad, very little of it is concerned with either the guy or his dad. Basically, a bunch of weird shit happened to some people years ago and then some other people (like the aforementioned dad) stumble upon it and eventually the main character hears about it. As Brian says, it isn't terrible, we just aren't really given any opportunity to be interested, and considering the manic fascination that drives so much of Lovecraft's work, the lack is a painful one. I would go so far as to say don't bother with this one. Read the story though, just because this isn't a great adaptation doesn't mean the original doesn't deserve some attention.
2: Dagon
Dagon is based off of the Lovecraft story, The Shadow Over Innsmouth despite being named after another story. Dagon is a lot like Re-Animator in presentation. Its a little cheesy and over the top in ways that make the movie pulpy fun. The people who made this movie obviously had a lot of fun with it. The story is about Paul Marsh who, while on vacation off the coast of Spain with some friends and his S.O., is forced to go ashore when the boat he is on gets wrecked on a rock. While ashore he discovers the secret of Imboca and must escape a hoard of Fish-people. There is some memorable lines and some well done practical effects, though the acting is nothing to write home about. One complaint I have about this movie is when they show Dagon. Its a little cheesy and it gives a form to a type of monster that is better left nebulous. Don't expect high art, and you will enjoy this movie. Watch it with some friends and drinks and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Fucking fish-cults man, they ruin everything.
3: Shadows on the Wall
I hate bad movies. Not because they are bad, but because they make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. This is a bad movie. The main story is interesting and I think could have been quite good, but the execution was bad. You can miss this one. Eshi wanted to go into detail on this one so I will pass it off to him.
Eshi: Okay, I'm going to start by saying I don't have anything against student films. I feel like that's important to note because a lot of the problems with SotW are cliche student film issues. The problem is that it careens face first into those issues like a baby strapped to an impact test rocket. The premise is that an incompetent and awkward engineering student manages to convince his cousin and his math tutor to help him build a machine to "transmit data using background radiation without using a signal" using the schematic equivalent of a brain damaged child's finger-painting. There are stories of "insert technical jargon here" in the scripts of many sci-fi endeavors, and this is no different, save that the jargon is less technical and more a hodgepodge of buzzwords from a fifth-grade science class. Not only do they get pretty much nothing right, there's a kind of fevered pride to the stupidity that would be fucking hilarious if they didn't take it so seriously. There is no internal consistency to their concept at all and when the opportunity to bring the story back in line presents itself, it instead turns almost bravely towards incomprehensibility. Probably the worst part is how good it could have been, either as a campy comedy or as cosmic horror, with really any effort. Someone edited this thing. Someone, presumably someone who really didn't like Ben Carland, saw this and was like, "Yeah, sure, why not". The characters are all so bleakly cliche` as to be unbelievable as people, the writing is so bad that the movie would have been more compelling as a series of stills, and the science is so fucking bad they might as well have just defaulted to "engineering is magic" and not bothered. SotW is Plan 9 bad with none of Plan 9's charm.
1: The Color Out of Space
COoS is about a young man traveling to Germany to find his father who has gone missing. While in Germany he meets a man who knew his father from the war who tells the son about their first meeting and why the land is bad around this area. I have mixed feelings about the movie. There is some overuse of CGI where practical effects could have been used instead. There is also a bit too much green screen, but neither really detracted from the movie by itself. I get when a movie is made and you don't have all the resources to do it right so I have been trying to not hold it against them. My favorite part of the movie was how it was in black and white and one of the subjects of the movie is a creature that emits an unnatural color, and to show this they always show the alien in color. Its an interesting way of handling that. The part of this movie that kind of ruined it for me is how boring it was. I like the base idea, and even where it went with it, but the movie just didn't capture my attention. Its not terrible, but its not great. Watch it, but don't expect to many surprises.
Eshi: Too much of this movie is reliant on the audience giving a fuck about things it gives us no reason to give a fuck about. For a movie about a guy looking for his dad, very little of it is concerned with either the guy or his dad. Basically, a bunch of weird shit happened to some people years ago and then some other people (like the aforementioned dad) stumble upon it and eventually the main character hears about it. As Brian says, it isn't terrible, we just aren't really given any opportunity to be interested, and considering the manic fascination that drives so much of Lovecraft's work, the lack is a painful one. I would go so far as to say don't bother with this one. Read the story though, just because this isn't a great adaptation doesn't mean the original doesn't deserve some attention.
2: Dagon
Dagon is based off of the Lovecraft story, The Shadow Over Innsmouth despite being named after another story. Dagon is a lot like Re-Animator in presentation. Its a little cheesy and over the top in ways that make the movie pulpy fun. The people who made this movie obviously had a lot of fun with it. The story is about Paul Marsh who, while on vacation off the coast of Spain with some friends and his S.O., is forced to go ashore when the boat he is on gets wrecked on a rock. While ashore he discovers the secret of Imboca and must escape a hoard of Fish-people. There is some memorable lines and some well done practical effects, though the acting is nothing to write home about. One complaint I have about this movie is when they show Dagon. Its a little cheesy and it gives a form to a type of monster that is better left nebulous. Don't expect high art, and you will enjoy this movie. Watch it with some friends and drinks and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Fucking fish-cults man, they ruin everything.
3: Shadows on the Wall
I hate bad movies. Not because they are bad, but because they make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. This is a bad movie. The main story is interesting and I think could have been quite good, but the execution was bad. You can miss this one. Eshi wanted to go into detail on this one so I will pass it off to him.
Eshi: Okay, I'm going to start by saying I don't have anything against student films. I feel like that's important to note because a lot of the problems with SotW are cliche student film issues. The problem is that it careens face first into those issues like a baby strapped to an impact test rocket. The premise is that an incompetent and awkward engineering student manages to convince his cousin and his math tutor to help him build a machine to "transmit data using background radiation without using a signal" using the schematic equivalent of a brain damaged child's finger-painting. There are stories of "insert technical jargon here" in the scripts of many sci-fi endeavors, and this is no different, save that the jargon is less technical and more a hodgepodge of buzzwords from a fifth-grade science class. Not only do they get pretty much nothing right, there's a kind of fevered pride to the stupidity that would be fucking hilarious if they didn't take it so seriously. There is no internal consistency to their concept at all and when the opportunity to bring the story back in line presents itself, it instead turns almost bravely towards incomprehensibility. Probably the worst part is how good it could have been, either as a campy comedy or as cosmic horror, with really any effort. Someone edited this thing. Someone, presumably someone who really didn't like Ben Carland, saw this and was like, "Yeah, sure, why not". The characters are all so bleakly cliche` as to be unbelievable as people, the writing is so bad that the movie would have been more compelling as a series of stills, and the science is so fucking bad they might as well have just defaulted to "engineering is magic" and not bothered. SotW is Plan 9 bad with none of Plan 9's charm.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we were in the mood for some classic Tarantino. Tarantino has a very unique style, blending from many different schools of film that Tarantino enjoys. His movies are witty, violent, and very entertaining. This was a good week, so to the list!
1: Pulp Fiction
We tend to try to avoid spoilers if possible on this blog, at least during weekly cinemeh, but in this case I don't feel like it is to much of a spoiler to say that this movie is one of the best movies ever made. It is shot well, it is funny, and it has one of the best ending monologues I have ever seen. Pulp Fiction is a story told from three different perspectives. The entire cast is great, but the standout for me is Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is always a powerhouse and this movie makes great use of him, especially in the aforementioned monologue. It has a bit of everything; violence, mystery, comedy, and romance (though with one of the least sexy penetrations imaginable) but feels tight and well told. Its a great movie that you should watch if you haven't seen it (if only for the experience of a cultural phenomenon) and if you have seen it, you should watch it again.
Eshi: I almost feel bad for Quentin Tarantino; Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I feel like he made it too early in his career. He even manages to make a good character out of John Travolta, I mean, his over all personality still feels of a parasitic squid covered in anal lube, but under Tarantino's direction it works. Fuck yeah Harvey Keitel and also fuck yeah Tim Roth. Uma Therman is tragically unlikable as Mia Wallace, but I agree with Matt Sloan from Blame Society Films that it seems more an issue of writing than anything to do with her. I have to admit I'm starting to have weird feelings about Bruce Willis, and this performance contributes to that. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, he just always seems like he's doing a Donald Trump impression but keeps smelling a fart he can't mention. Still, Pulp Fiction is easily in my top ten and I recommend it highly.
Honorable mentions:
This week we only watched one movie (sorry about that~), but I still wanted to release some other stuff on this list. So here are a few of my favorites that Tarantino has made.
1: Reservoir Dogs
This is a heist movie that takes place after the heist goes down poorly. It is a fantastic drama about criminals trying to figure out who the mole is in their crew. The cast is great and the movie is full of tension. While not as strong as Pulp Fiction, it is still a good movie and worth the watch.
Eshi: One of my favorite Tim Roth rolls, after the delightful Four Rooms of course. Reservoir Dogs is just tight enough to be super engaging and just loose enough to feel genuine. I agree with Brian that it isn't as good as Pulp Fiction but its still a great example of Tarantino's work.
2: Django Unchained
Django Unchained is Tarantino's version of a western. The movie follows Django, a former slave, and his bounty hunter friend on a quest to find and free Django's wife. There are a lot of people who complain about the n word's "overuse" in the movie but considering it is a pre-civil war version of the south, it makes sense that a bunch of people who thought slavery was ok might speak poorly of the people they own. Another well cast film, I love Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz's patter. You really get the sense that they have come to trust one another. Its got some more of the violence and wit you expect from Tarantino. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: Quentin Tarantino likes to make people say "nigger". I find that both somewhat amusing and more progressive than anyone who feels like damning someone who uses a certain word because of their race. Brian has covered the problems with language policing in some depth, so thats all I'm gonna say about that. I have never hated Leonardo DeCaprio more than I do in this movie, and its great. Pretty much all of the characters in Django Unchained are grand in their own (often aggressively over-the-top) way. The chemistry throughout the film is phenomenal, sadly only fumbled between Jamie Fox and Kerry Washington, the woman playing his wife. Still not enough to take away from the movie but enough to be a little disappointing.
3: Inglorious Bastards
Tarantino's version of a war movie, Inglorious Bastards tells the story of an operation to destroy a large portion of the Nazi leadership during a movie premiere in Paris. This movie was my first experience with Christoph Waltz, and I instantly fell in love with him. His character is terrifying and charming all at once, just the kind of villain I like. Watch it.
Eshi: While I enjoy Bastards, I feel like it starts to come apart a bit in the final act. It runs a little long, tries to tell a bit to much story all at once. It's still pretty cathartic, and fun as hell, but it definitely isn't Tarantino's strongest work. Christoph Waltz is amazing as usual as the most charismatic Nazi you've ever seen and the Bastards as a whole are a joy to watch. Certainly give this one a shot, just maybe don't buy it right out of the gate, especially because it streams free.
1: Pulp Fiction
We tend to try to avoid spoilers if possible on this blog, at least during weekly cinemeh, but in this case I don't feel like it is to much of a spoiler to say that this movie is one of the best movies ever made. It is shot well, it is funny, and it has one of the best ending monologues I have ever seen. Pulp Fiction is a story told from three different perspectives. The entire cast is great, but the standout for me is Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is always a powerhouse and this movie makes great use of him, especially in the aforementioned monologue. It has a bit of everything; violence, mystery, comedy, and romance (though with one of the least sexy penetrations imaginable) but feels tight and well told. Its a great movie that you should watch if you haven't seen it (if only for the experience of a cultural phenomenon) and if you have seen it, you should watch it again.
Eshi: I almost feel bad for Quentin Tarantino; Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I feel like he made it too early in his career. He even manages to make a good character out of John Travolta, I mean, his over all personality still feels of a parasitic squid covered in anal lube, but under Tarantino's direction it works. Fuck yeah Harvey Keitel and also fuck yeah Tim Roth. Uma Therman is tragically unlikable as Mia Wallace, but I agree with Matt Sloan from Blame Society Films that it seems more an issue of writing than anything to do with her. I have to admit I'm starting to have weird feelings about Bruce Willis, and this performance contributes to that. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, he just always seems like he's doing a Donald Trump impression but keeps smelling a fart he can't mention. Still, Pulp Fiction is easily in my top ten and I recommend it highly.
Honorable mentions:
This week we only watched one movie (sorry about that~), but I still wanted to release some other stuff on this list. So here are a few of my favorites that Tarantino has made.
1: Reservoir Dogs
This is a heist movie that takes place after the heist goes down poorly. It is a fantastic drama about criminals trying to figure out who the mole is in their crew. The cast is great and the movie is full of tension. While not as strong as Pulp Fiction, it is still a good movie and worth the watch.
Eshi: One of my favorite Tim Roth rolls, after the delightful Four Rooms of course. Reservoir Dogs is just tight enough to be super engaging and just loose enough to feel genuine. I agree with Brian that it isn't as good as Pulp Fiction but its still a great example of Tarantino's work.
2: Django Unchained
Django Unchained is Tarantino's version of a western. The movie follows Django, a former slave, and his bounty hunter friend on a quest to find and free Django's wife. There are a lot of people who complain about the n word's "overuse" in the movie but considering it is a pre-civil war version of the south, it makes sense that a bunch of people who thought slavery was ok might speak poorly of the people they own. Another well cast film, I love Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz's patter. You really get the sense that they have come to trust one another. Its got some more of the violence and wit you expect from Tarantino. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: Quentin Tarantino likes to make people say "nigger". I find that both somewhat amusing and more progressive than anyone who feels like damning someone who uses a certain word because of their race. Brian has covered the problems with language policing in some depth, so thats all I'm gonna say about that. I have never hated Leonardo DeCaprio more than I do in this movie, and its great. Pretty much all of the characters in Django Unchained are grand in their own (often aggressively over-the-top) way. The chemistry throughout the film is phenomenal, sadly only fumbled between Jamie Fox and Kerry Washington, the woman playing his wife. Still not enough to take away from the movie but enough to be a little disappointing.
3: Inglorious Bastards
Tarantino's version of a war movie, Inglorious Bastards tells the story of an operation to destroy a large portion of the Nazi leadership during a movie premiere in Paris. This movie was my first experience with Christoph Waltz, and I instantly fell in love with him. His character is terrifying and charming all at once, just the kind of villain I like. Watch it.
Eshi: While I enjoy Bastards, I feel like it starts to come apart a bit in the final act. It runs a little long, tries to tell a bit to much story all at once. It's still pretty cathartic, and fun as hell, but it definitely isn't Tarantino's strongest work. Christoph Waltz is amazing as usual as the most charismatic Nazi you've ever seen and the Bastards as a whole are a joy to watch. Certainly give this one a shot, just maybe don't buy it right out of the gate, especially because it streams free.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. I'm sorry that we took a couple weeks off for the holiday's, but we are back now and ready to start the new year off well~. This week we decided to celebrate the new year by watching movies that represent renewal and new beginnings. We had some great movies this week, so without further ado: To the list!
1: Fight Club
Fight Club is about a man who hates his dull life. After meeting a charismatic man on a flight and having his apartment blown up, he help opens a fight club, which starts him on a path to self discovery. Fight Club is one of those movies that everyone should watch in their teens and then again in their twenties. It is one of those films that expresses doubts that a lot of people have around those ages, and it will resonate well, for different reasons depending on their age. The movie itself, is witty, irreverent, well shot, and the cast is fantastic. The issue I have with the movie is that for a movie about how consumerism is dangerous, and how value should be found from within, it has a ton of product placement. It is one of my favorite movies, and you should watch it.
Eshi: C'mon, you've seen Fight Club. It's the heart-warming story of a young man conquering his demons and finding love via a prolonged abusive bisexual relationship with a figment of his fevered madness. You know, the classic. Its also chock full of new beginnings to ring in your new year. Jack begins as a broken, white collar drone, then begins anew as first a pseudo-enlightened punch monster, then as a plucky hero, then again as a gunshot victim with a gentle soul. Marla almost dies and is reborn as a relatively well adjusted fuck object/soulmate. Hell, even bitch-tits Bob starts an exciting new career as fertilizer. I love Fight Club, it was a wonderful awakening to my pubescent sex drive and a great opportunity to feel superior when the jocks at my school decided having seen it made them classical philosophers. It gets a lot of flack for being pretentious or glorifying violence or fucking whatever, but frankly, like all fiction, you take away what you want, not what the creator wanted, so people should just chill the fuck out. Watch it, or watch it again.
2: Office Space
Office Space is about how working in a corporate environment is awful. The main character is a man working on updating software to prevent Y2K. He is incredibly distraught, and after seeing a hypnotherapist about it, decides to stop placing value in work, and focus elsewhere. This is another movie about how modern life has some faults, and anyone who has worked in an office will empathize with the main character, though I doubt many people will choose to deal with the problem the way he does. Office space is funny, has a great soundtrack, and resonates still today, 17 years after its release. I really like Ron Livingston as the main character, he captures the exasperation and desperation really well, and he is very funny. Jennifer Aniston also does well as the voice of reason, and the scene in which she quits her job is fantastic. This is a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There really isn't much else to say about Office Space. It's a complete cathartic experience with a not-completely-terrible relationship subplot. Diedrich Bader and Ron Livingston both need more work and Gary Cole is always really good at being completely fucking loathsome.
3: Cabin in The Woods
We have talked about this movie on here before on the blog, but never in a Weekly Cinemeh. This movie is fantastic because it takes the standard "cabin in the woods" premise of horror movies and turns it on its head. I don't want to talk about the plot of this movie to much because it would spoil some of the plot points, but, I will say this: its a great horror movie for fans of horror movies. I have weird feelings about Joss Whedon. He has done some great work, but he also goes for cheap shots a lot. Here, he avoids the cheap emotional manipulation and tells a fantastic story. CitW is funny, and it pokes fun at the genre while still keeping the spirit of horror at the same time. Its a love letter to horror and it is fantastic. The actors are good, its funny, and it is a great movie all around. It inspires a renewal of love for the genre, and should be watched. You will enjoy it.
Eshi: CitW is all the reasons I hate Joss Whedon. Its characters are rich, the plot is delightfully balanced between cliche and innovation, and the dialog is wonderfully written. So now I know what he's capable of, and how fucking lazy he is elsewhere. The casting is spot-on and on at least one occasion the best bong I've ever seen is used to save the day. Fuck Joss Whedon, watch this movie.
1: Fight Club
Fight Club is about a man who hates his dull life. After meeting a charismatic man on a flight and having his apartment blown up, he help opens a fight club, which starts him on a path to self discovery. Fight Club is one of those movies that everyone should watch in their teens and then again in their twenties. It is one of those films that expresses doubts that a lot of people have around those ages, and it will resonate well, for different reasons depending on their age. The movie itself, is witty, irreverent, well shot, and the cast is fantastic. The issue I have with the movie is that for a movie about how consumerism is dangerous, and how value should be found from within, it has a ton of product placement. It is one of my favorite movies, and you should watch it.
Eshi: C'mon, you've seen Fight Club. It's the heart-warming story of a young man conquering his demons and finding love via a prolonged abusive bisexual relationship with a figment of his fevered madness. You know, the classic. Its also chock full of new beginnings to ring in your new year. Jack begins as a broken, white collar drone, then begins anew as first a pseudo-enlightened punch monster, then as a plucky hero, then again as a gunshot victim with a gentle soul. Marla almost dies and is reborn as a relatively well adjusted fuck object/soulmate. Hell, even bitch-tits Bob starts an exciting new career as fertilizer. I love Fight Club, it was a wonderful awakening to my pubescent sex drive and a great opportunity to feel superior when the jocks at my school decided having seen it made them classical philosophers. It gets a lot of flack for being pretentious or glorifying violence or fucking whatever, but frankly, like all fiction, you take away what you want, not what the creator wanted, so people should just chill the fuck out. Watch it, or watch it again.
2: Office Space
Office Space is about how working in a corporate environment is awful. The main character is a man working on updating software to prevent Y2K. He is incredibly distraught, and after seeing a hypnotherapist about it, decides to stop placing value in work, and focus elsewhere. This is another movie about how modern life has some faults, and anyone who has worked in an office will empathize with the main character, though I doubt many people will choose to deal with the problem the way he does. Office space is funny, has a great soundtrack, and resonates still today, 17 years after its release. I really like Ron Livingston as the main character, he captures the exasperation and desperation really well, and he is very funny. Jennifer Aniston also does well as the voice of reason, and the scene in which she quits her job is fantastic. This is a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There really isn't much else to say about Office Space. It's a complete cathartic experience with a not-completely-terrible relationship subplot. Diedrich Bader and Ron Livingston both need more work and Gary Cole is always really good at being completely fucking loathsome.
3: Cabin in The Woods
We have talked about this movie on here before on the blog, but never in a Weekly Cinemeh. This movie is fantastic because it takes the standard "cabin in the woods" premise of horror movies and turns it on its head. I don't want to talk about the plot of this movie to much because it would spoil some of the plot points, but, I will say this: its a great horror movie for fans of horror movies. I have weird feelings about Joss Whedon. He has done some great work, but he also goes for cheap shots a lot. Here, he avoids the cheap emotional manipulation and tells a fantastic story. CitW is funny, and it pokes fun at the genre while still keeping the spirit of horror at the same time. Its a love letter to horror and it is fantastic. The actors are good, its funny, and it is a great movie all around. It inspires a renewal of love for the genre, and should be watched. You will enjoy it.
Eshi: CitW is all the reasons I hate Joss Whedon. Its characters are rich, the plot is delightfully balanced between cliche and innovation, and the dialog is wonderfully written. So now I know what he's capable of, and how fucking lazy he is elsewhere. The casting is spot-on and on at least one occasion the best bong I've ever seen is used to save the day. Fuck Joss Whedon, watch this movie.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to watch movies dealing with deep horror. Horror beyond words, if you will. All of us here are are big fans of this kind of horror and the interesting madness that follows it. This week was dark and full of terror. To the list!
1: Pandorum
Pandorum is about how feeling the emptiness of the universe can drive people mad. In the movie, the characters talk about a syndrome called pandorum, which affects people who go into deep space. It causes them to go crazy and experience extreme paranoia. The movie opens with a ship sent into deep space to colonize a planet and reveals that during their journey, Earth was wiped out due to an unknown cause. The main character of the movie wakes up from cryo sleep an indeterminate amount of time after the news arrived at the ship, and the ship has gone to hell. Its up to him and his lieutenant to turn on the ship's power to find out what the hell happened. Pandorum has some great atmosphere and is good at making characters feel like they are alone in the universe. The movie gets a little actiony after the first act, and I think it suffers for that reason. A film with the same basic story but without the monsters would have been great for atmosphere and tension, but it could have been a little boring, so I see why they didn't do it. I feel like, without monsters, it could have explored the theme that Pandorum tried to explore a little better (we are alone in the universe and that is fucking scary). The cast is good, and I like the way they handled the encroaching madness of the main character. Its a good action oriented horror movie, watch it.
Eshi: I enjoy Pandorum, scary space shit brings me great joy, but it has the most superfluous love story ever. I'm not even being hyperbolic, the love subplot is so meaningless that not only does it have no bearing whatsoever on the story, it almost isn't a part of the film. It might actually serve to be shitty emotional manipulation if it ever really made an effort to make the audience give a fuck. Fortunately, as I said, it isn't even really a thing, so the general badassitude of the rest of the movie doesn't suffer much for it. Denis Quaid plays fucked up almost as well as his brother Randy is fucked up in real life. Ben Foster is a dandy protagonist and Norman Reedus is tragically wasted. What do you want here? Its a space thriller, just go watch it.
2: Infini
Infini is very similar to Pandorum. Once again we deal with monsters in deep space, though this time its a little more direct at the beginning of the movie. Infini is an outpost in the furtest reaches of space that the main character is forced to go to, to avoid being killed by a team that was sent their previously who returned all murder crazy from their mission. Another team is sent in to rescue the main character and turn off a machine on Infini that would be sending volatile material to Earth. The film explores humanity's interaction with itself and with beings that are far beyond the scope of human understanding. Its an interesting movie, though I don't think it explores this theme enough, and chooses to explore the murder-crazy aspect a little too hard. It gets some significant credit for one aspect though: time dilation is a major plot point (something that a lot of Sci Fi movies ignore). The rescue team finds the main character almost immediately and they shut off the device soon after, but they have to wait for Earth to start the procedure to teleport them all back, which takes less than a minute on Earth, but 8 hours on Infini. This creates some great tension, and raises the stakes while still being plausible. The ending leaves something to be desired, but doesn't ruin the movie.
Eshi: It amuses me how many movies seem to play as "space makes people grumpy" as a plot point. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be grumpy about in movies that use that trope, but it seems overplayed. Infini does kinda cover some new ground, or at least go a different direction than Pandorum, but not by as much as I'd like. There are two bits of plot that I really dug; the interplay between Whit and Chester is a lot of fun, and then they abort a fetus, for good reason even, without being too painfully hand wringy about it. I really enjoyed both Pandorum and Infini, but, uh... maybe don't chain watch these ones.
3: Pontypool
Pontypool is a hard movie to talk about without giving spoilers so I will try to avoid them. Its a zombie movie with non standard zombies which spread, not with a normal virus, but via a conceptual one. Basically it is a horror movie that takes an aspect of humanity, language, and makes it our worst enemy. This is a bottle movie, much like the other two, but this time its on Earth (in Canada to be more precise). Bottle movies are a great way to do horror because it makes the possibility of just running the fuck away impossible. The cast is good, and its shot well. Its a fun movie, watch it.
Eshi: Just fucking watch this one. Its spectacularly shot, the plot is surprisingly tight for how little Oh Shit there is, and the tension is oppressive. Fuck yeah, that is all.
1: Pandorum
Pandorum is about how feeling the emptiness of the universe can drive people mad. In the movie, the characters talk about a syndrome called pandorum, which affects people who go into deep space. It causes them to go crazy and experience extreme paranoia. The movie opens with a ship sent into deep space to colonize a planet and reveals that during their journey, Earth was wiped out due to an unknown cause. The main character of the movie wakes up from cryo sleep an indeterminate amount of time after the news arrived at the ship, and the ship has gone to hell. Its up to him and his lieutenant to turn on the ship's power to find out what the hell happened. Pandorum has some great atmosphere and is good at making characters feel like they are alone in the universe. The movie gets a little actiony after the first act, and I think it suffers for that reason. A film with the same basic story but without the monsters would have been great for atmosphere and tension, but it could have been a little boring, so I see why they didn't do it. I feel like, without monsters, it could have explored the theme that Pandorum tried to explore a little better (we are alone in the universe and that is fucking scary). The cast is good, and I like the way they handled the encroaching madness of the main character. Its a good action oriented horror movie, watch it.
Eshi: I enjoy Pandorum, scary space shit brings me great joy, but it has the most superfluous love story ever. I'm not even being hyperbolic, the love subplot is so meaningless that not only does it have no bearing whatsoever on the story, it almost isn't a part of the film. It might actually serve to be shitty emotional manipulation if it ever really made an effort to make the audience give a fuck. Fortunately, as I said, it isn't even really a thing, so the general badassitude of the rest of the movie doesn't suffer much for it. Denis Quaid plays fucked up almost as well as his brother Randy is fucked up in real life. Ben Foster is a dandy protagonist and Norman Reedus is tragically wasted. What do you want here? Its a space thriller, just go watch it.
2: Infini
Infini is very similar to Pandorum. Once again we deal with monsters in deep space, though this time its a little more direct at the beginning of the movie. Infini is an outpost in the furtest reaches of space that the main character is forced to go to, to avoid being killed by a team that was sent their previously who returned all murder crazy from their mission. Another team is sent in to rescue the main character and turn off a machine on Infini that would be sending volatile material to Earth. The film explores humanity's interaction with itself and with beings that are far beyond the scope of human understanding. Its an interesting movie, though I don't think it explores this theme enough, and chooses to explore the murder-crazy aspect a little too hard. It gets some significant credit for one aspect though: time dilation is a major plot point (something that a lot of Sci Fi movies ignore). The rescue team finds the main character almost immediately and they shut off the device soon after, but they have to wait for Earth to start the procedure to teleport them all back, which takes less than a minute on Earth, but 8 hours on Infini. This creates some great tension, and raises the stakes while still being plausible. The ending leaves something to be desired, but doesn't ruin the movie.
Eshi: It amuses me how many movies seem to play as "space makes people grumpy" as a plot point. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be grumpy about in movies that use that trope, but it seems overplayed. Infini does kinda cover some new ground, or at least go a different direction than Pandorum, but not by as much as I'd like. There are two bits of plot that I really dug; the interplay between Whit and Chester is a lot of fun, and then they abort a fetus, for good reason even, without being too painfully hand wringy about it. I really enjoyed both Pandorum and Infini, but, uh... maybe don't chain watch these ones.
3: Pontypool
Pontypool is a hard movie to talk about without giving spoilers so I will try to avoid them. Its a zombie movie with non standard zombies which spread, not with a normal virus, but via a conceptual one. Basically it is a horror movie that takes an aspect of humanity, language, and makes it our worst enemy. This is a bottle movie, much like the other two, but this time its on Earth (in Canada to be more precise). Bottle movies are a great way to do horror because it makes the possibility of just running the fuck away impossible. The cast is good, and its shot well. Its a fun movie, watch it.
Eshi: Just fucking watch this one. Its spectacularly shot, the plot is surprisingly tight for how little Oh Shit there is, and the tension is oppressive. Fuck yeah, that is all.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to do another director theme week and went with Sam Raimi. Sam Raimi is famous for his horror, (particularly the Evil Dead franchise) and Spider-man movies and this week we decided to go with a horror movie version of a super hero, a movie where everyone makes the wrong decisions constantly, and a movie about an unwilling psychic detective. I love Sam Raimi's work for the most part because he is good at making the world just a little bit odd in his way (usually via delightfully over the top special effects). Anyway, to the list!
1:Darkman
Darkman is a movie about why confirming your kill is important, especially if you are a sadistic, evil, motherfucker. Darkman is a superhero who is unable to feel any pain after a non-consensual experiment to save his life after his lab is blown up by a bunch of drug dealers who are trying to get incriminating evidence that was left there by Darkman's SO. Darkman decides that he should avenge himself and his lab assistant by murdering all those involved, either directly or by copying their face (via a machine he was working on in his lab that creates skin to help burn victims) and setting them up to fail at not being fragged by their buddies. Its a good movie about an antihero who just stops caring if he can come back from his fall. I love Sam Raimi for the special effects in this movie. Its so fucking good to see a skeletal hand type on a keyboard when it is not made of CGI. It looked fantastic. Raimi is also a great director for this type of movie, and manages to get the most out of his actors when he needs them to portray their characters as acted by Darkman. Liam Neeson seems a little wasted for a lot of this movie, what with other actors playing his part for half the movie. But I digress, its a fun movie and well worth the watch.
Eshi: Man for movie starring Liam Neeson there is really not a lot of him in this. Even when he isn't "impersonating" someone else, half the stunt scenes where Bruce Campbell doing a hilarious Liam Neeson impression. Really, Neeson is only ever on screen so we can see his face melt, which seems morbid. That said, it was pretty damn good. Nobody manages the line between the uncanny valley and the camp-ass hill quite like Sam Raimi.
2:A Simple Plan
A Simple Plan is about 3 guys driving in the boonies when they stumble across a crashed plane full of money and decide to split it up. This goes about about as well as you could imagine. I don't want to steal Eshi's thunder to much, but as we watched this movie he mentioned that it should be called "Bad Decisions: The Movie" and I couldn't agree more. Greed has a way of making people act stupidly and this move embodies that. The cast is good, but to no one's surprise, Billy Bob Thornton stands out. His character has the most depth of any in the film, partially because he is constantly being forced into situations he doesn't want to be in by other people, and partially because Thornton is a fantastic actor. Raimi's direction is good, he gets a lot out of his actors, particularly in the soul crushing ending. I have wanted to see more Noir lately and this movie fills that gap nicely. The Femme Fatale is particularly well done. I would like to see Raimi do more noir. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There are just so many terrible people in this fucking movie. BBT's character is just kind of an idiot, makes a bad decision and spends the rest of the story getting dragged into further stupidity. Bridget Fonda's character is just straight up evil at pretty much every opportunity and Bill Paxton is a weird combination of spineless and unnecessarily extreme. Brent Briscoe plays That Guy and Rule # 4 gets put off for too long. I agree with Brian that I'd like to see Sam Raimi do more Noir because, as with all good Noir, the fact that everyone is fucking awful doesn't meaningfully detract from the film.
3:The Gift
The Gift is about a woman with psychic powers helping the police to find a woman after she goes missing. When the evidence puts the wrong man in jail, she continues to try to find out who the real killer is using her powers. Cate Blanchett was great as the leading actor of this movie, she adds a lot of depth to a character that could have been kind of flat. Also, I don't know if I have ever wanted to see a Keanu Reeves character get murdered more than his racist, wife beating character in this movie. Sam Raimi dips a little into his Horror roots with some of the stuff, and it pays off well. Its pretty good, and lent some odd context to something I saw a while ago.
Eshi: Keanu Redneck is the worst Keanu. The fact that his character isn't subject to glorious shotgun violence is an affront to decency. Also, Zener cards =/= Tarot cards, no matter how apt you try to make the squiggly one. Katie Holmes is unnecessary, which isn't a good trait for the corpse in a murder mystery. I enjoyed The Gift, albeit grudgingly, and much of that joy derives from Giovani Ribisi's character. Don't rent it, even if you couldn't get it on Netflix.
1:Darkman
Darkman is a movie about why confirming your kill is important, especially if you are a sadistic, evil, motherfucker. Darkman is a superhero who is unable to feel any pain after a non-consensual experiment to save his life after his lab is blown up by a bunch of drug dealers who are trying to get incriminating evidence that was left there by Darkman's SO. Darkman decides that he should avenge himself and his lab assistant by murdering all those involved, either directly or by copying their face (via a machine he was working on in his lab that creates skin to help burn victims) and setting them up to fail at not being fragged by their buddies. Its a good movie about an antihero who just stops caring if he can come back from his fall. I love Sam Raimi for the special effects in this movie. Its so fucking good to see a skeletal hand type on a keyboard when it is not made of CGI. It looked fantastic. Raimi is also a great director for this type of movie, and manages to get the most out of his actors when he needs them to portray their characters as acted by Darkman. Liam Neeson seems a little wasted for a lot of this movie, what with other actors playing his part for half the movie. But I digress, its a fun movie and well worth the watch.
Eshi: Man for movie starring Liam Neeson there is really not a lot of him in this. Even when he isn't "impersonating" someone else, half the stunt scenes where Bruce Campbell doing a hilarious Liam Neeson impression. Really, Neeson is only ever on screen so we can see his face melt, which seems morbid. That said, it was pretty damn good. Nobody manages the line between the uncanny valley and the camp-ass hill quite like Sam Raimi.
2:A Simple Plan
A Simple Plan is about 3 guys driving in the boonies when they stumble across a crashed plane full of money and decide to split it up. This goes about about as well as you could imagine. I don't want to steal Eshi's thunder to much, but as we watched this movie he mentioned that it should be called "Bad Decisions: The Movie" and I couldn't agree more. Greed has a way of making people act stupidly and this move embodies that. The cast is good, but to no one's surprise, Billy Bob Thornton stands out. His character has the most depth of any in the film, partially because he is constantly being forced into situations he doesn't want to be in by other people, and partially because Thornton is a fantastic actor. Raimi's direction is good, he gets a lot out of his actors, particularly in the soul crushing ending. I have wanted to see more Noir lately and this movie fills that gap nicely. The Femme Fatale is particularly well done. I would like to see Raimi do more noir. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There are just so many terrible people in this fucking movie. BBT's character is just kind of an idiot, makes a bad decision and spends the rest of the story getting dragged into further stupidity. Bridget Fonda's character is just straight up evil at pretty much every opportunity and Bill Paxton is a weird combination of spineless and unnecessarily extreme. Brent Briscoe plays That Guy and Rule # 4 gets put off for too long. I agree with Brian that I'd like to see Sam Raimi do more Noir because, as with all good Noir, the fact that everyone is fucking awful doesn't meaningfully detract from the film.
3:The Gift
The Gift is about a woman with psychic powers helping the police to find a woman after she goes missing. When the evidence puts the wrong man in jail, she continues to try to find out who the real killer is using her powers. Cate Blanchett was great as the leading actor of this movie, she adds a lot of depth to a character that could have been kind of flat. Also, I don't know if I have ever wanted to see a Keanu Reeves character get murdered more than his racist, wife beating character in this movie. Sam Raimi dips a little into his Horror roots with some of the stuff, and it pays off well. Its pretty good, and lent some odd context to something I saw a while ago.
Eshi: Keanu Redneck is the worst Keanu. The fact that his character isn't subject to glorious shotgun violence is an affront to decency. Also, Zener cards =/= Tarot cards, no matter how apt you try to make the squiggly one. Katie Holmes is unnecessary, which isn't a good trait for the corpse in a murder mystery. I enjoyed The Gift, albeit grudgingly, and much of that joy derives from Giovani Ribisi's character. Don't rent it, even if you couldn't get it on Netflix.
Friday, December 4, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This weeks theme has a bit of a backstory. For the past few weeks we have been watching a lot of James Bond films because Eshi and his SO haven't seen a lot of them, so we decided to watch a bunch because they are fun. This got us in the mood to watch some of the good spy comedy movies, Austin Powers. So this week we watched all three, so lets get to the list.
1: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers is a classic spoof of James Bond. There are some great references to the original movies and it has some fun poking at itself. The movie is about a villain freezing himself in the 60s to attack the world in the future when Austin Powers wouldn't be around. Austin decides to freeze himself to be revived when the world needs him again. In 1997 Dr. Evil returns to hold the world hostage and Austin gets revived to fight him. Its a fun movie with a great tongue in cheek way of pointing out how James Bond is a relic of a different time that needs to change to be relevant again. Mike Myers has a good sense of humor, and watching him run around as caricatures of Bond tropes is a good time. I also love the idea behind Seth Green's character. Myers has always been good at spoofing stuff and this movie might be the pinnacle of that. The problem with spoofs though, is that it is hard to tell when a problem with the movie is a commentary on the subject or just a shitty move by the director. The one that stands out the most to me from all three movies is how the Bond Girl analogs don't seem into the movie, they just seem to be there to be eye candy. I felt the same way about most of the actual Bond Girls as well so I don't know if it is intentional or not. Regardless it is a fun movie, and if you are a fan of James Bond you'll probably get a kick.
Eshi: Dr. Evil is unequivocally the best Bond villain, and there was a movie where 007 fights goddamn Christopher Walken. The slavish playing to tropes combined with the casual disregard for reality highlights the complete scope of personality required in a Bondian antagonist and I fucking love it. There are a good number of fun cameos in this one, including Will Farrell. Really all of the Austin Powers movies are pretty much what you'd expect; cheesy, fun romps about an anachronistic fuck machine who, on occasion, saves the world. Though I would recommend against a sober viewing
2: Austin Powers: The Spy Who shagged me
I think this movie is the best of the three. Dr Evil is back and goes back in time to steal Austin Power's "Mojo". Austin goes back in time to get his mojo back and stop Dr Evil's plan to blow up cities with his giant moon laser. As this movie deals with time travel, shit should get complicated, but the movie knows that this aspect shouldn't be taken seriously, and just tells you that straight to your face. This little joke is my favorite part of the series because it tells you what the series is all about: Just have a good time watching this fun film we have made. Myers is fun to watch again, just like in the first film. I prefer Heather Graham to Elizabeth Hurley, but only because she appears to have more fun with her role, and the introduction of Fat Bastard leads to some fun scenes. All in all I think it is a more competent movie because they don't have to spend so much time on fish out of water jokes like they did in the first movie. Mini Me is also a very funny addition, and makes the movie different enough from the first one to warrant a watch.
Eshi: I don't know if its intentional, but I really dislike all the female characters in these movies. Elizabeth Hurley was kinda wooden, but she seemed like she was supposed to be. Heather Graham
always looks kinda surprised to me, which is off-putting, and Beyonce frankly just seemed disappointed in herself. As usual Seth Green is fun as fuck and he has pretty solid chemistry with Myers. Really my only issue with this movie is Fat Bastard. He represents the cheapest, laziest fucking writing and his character is both fundamentally insulting and kinda superfluous to the plot, and keep in mind, this is the movie where he is the entire narrative drive. Other than that though, fuck yeah. Space lasers, spy fucking, and a dwarf, what's not to like?
3: Austin Powers in Goldmember
This is a strange movie. Once again I am unsure if the spoof is that this is supposed to be a Hollywood sellout movie, or if its just a Hollywood sellout movie. I have the feeling that is spoofing, but also taking advantage of being able to do it. This movie feels like it lost the heart of the original and its sequel. It seems like something that didn't want to be made. This time Dr. Evil goes back in time to get another evil villain to help him destroy the world, and its up to Austin Powers and Beyonce to stop him. The new character that Myers plays in this movie is the best part of it. Goldmember is a dutch version of Auric Goldfinger from the movie Goldfinger and is funny, but not enough to save the film. To be honest you could skip this movie and it wouldn't matter at all. There are a few very funny moments, but not enough to warrant watching it for them alone. I wouldn't suggest watching it unless you absolutely need to see more Austin Powers
Eshi: Ugh, to paraphrase the highly talented Soren Bowie, my arm is not long enough for the jerk off motion that this fucking thing inspires in my soul. It's trying to hard, which might be okay if it had any idea what it was doing. But fucking no. They half-assedly try to nest the story in a shitty blockbuster of itself strictly so they can pad their stupid cameo list. The world did not need Screwloose Von Middletooth to be Austin Powers for eight seconds. Fat Bastard is still repellent, Seth Green is still underutilized, and Mike Myers plays too many fucking characters. Don't bother, we only did because we're both compulsive completionists, and it still took us all week to gather the requisite fucks to rent the fucking thing.
1: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers is a classic spoof of James Bond. There are some great references to the original movies and it has some fun poking at itself. The movie is about a villain freezing himself in the 60s to attack the world in the future when Austin Powers wouldn't be around. Austin decides to freeze himself to be revived when the world needs him again. In 1997 Dr. Evil returns to hold the world hostage and Austin gets revived to fight him. Its a fun movie with a great tongue in cheek way of pointing out how James Bond is a relic of a different time that needs to change to be relevant again. Mike Myers has a good sense of humor, and watching him run around as caricatures of Bond tropes is a good time. I also love the idea behind Seth Green's character. Myers has always been good at spoofing stuff and this movie might be the pinnacle of that. The problem with spoofs though, is that it is hard to tell when a problem with the movie is a commentary on the subject or just a shitty move by the director. The one that stands out the most to me from all three movies is how the Bond Girl analogs don't seem into the movie, they just seem to be there to be eye candy. I felt the same way about most of the actual Bond Girls as well so I don't know if it is intentional or not. Regardless it is a fun movie, and if you are a fan of James Bond you'll probably get a kick.
Eshi: Dr. Evil is unequivocally the best Bond villain, and there was a movie where 007 fights goddamn Christopher Walken. The slavish playing to tropes combined with the casual disregard for reality highlights the complete scope of personality required in a Bondian antagonist and I fucking love it. There are a good number of fun cameos in this one, including Will Farrell. Really all of the Austin Powers movies are pretty much what you'd expect; cheesy, fun romps about an anachronistic fuck machine who, on occasion, saves the world. Though I would recommend against a sober viewing
2: Austin Powers: The Spy Who shagged me
I think this movie is the best of the three. Dr Evil is back and goes back in time to steal Austin Power's "Mojo". Austin goes back in time to get his mojo back and stop Dr Evil's plan to blow up cities with his giant moon laser. As this movie deals with time travel, shit should get complicated, but the movie knows that this aspect shouldn't be taken seriously, and just tells you that straight to your face. This little joke is my favorite part of the series because it tells you what the series is all about: Just have a good time watching this fun film we have made. Myers is fun to watch again, just like in the first film. I prefer Heather Graham to Elizabeth Hurley, but only because she appears to have more fun with her role, and the introduction of Fat Bastard leads to some fun scenes. All in all I think it is a more competent movie because they don't have to spend so much time on fish out of water jokes like they did in the first movie. Mini Me is also a very funny addition, and makes the movie different enough from the first one to warrant a watch.
Eshi: I don't know if its intentional, but I really dislike all the female characters in these movies. Elizabeth Hurley was kinda wooden, but she seemed like she was supposed to be. Heather Graham
always looks kinda surprised to me, which is off-putting, and Beyonce frankly just seemed disappointed in herself. As usual Seth Green is fun as fuck and he has pretty solid chemistry with Myers. Really my only issue with this movie is Fat Bastard. He represents the cheapest, laziest fucking writing and his character is both fundamentally insulting and kinda superfluous to the plot, and keep in mind, this is the movie where he is the entire narrative drive. Other than that though, fuck yeah. Space lasers, spy fucking, and a dwarf, what's not to like?
3: Austin Powers in Goldmember
This is a strange movie. Once again I am unsure if the spoof is that this is supposed to be a Hollywood sellout movie, or if its just a Hollywood sellout movie. I have the feeling that is spoofing, but also taking advantage of being able to do it. This movie feels like it lost the heart of the original and its sequel. It seems like something that didn't want to be made. This time Dr. Evil goes back in time to get another evil villain to help him destroy the world, and its up to Austin Powers and Beyonce to stop him. The new character that Myers plays in this movie is the best part of it. Goldmember is a dutch version of Auric Goldfinger from the movie Goldfinger and is funny, but not enough to save the film. To be honest you could skip this movie and it wouldn't matter at all. There are a few very funny moments, but not enough to warrant watching it for them alone. I wouldn't suggest watching it unless you absolutely need to see more Austin Powers
Eshi: Ugh, to paraphrase the highly talented Soren Bowie, my arm is not long enough for the jerk off motion that this fucking thing inspires in my soul. It's trying to hard, which might be okay if it had any idea what it was doing. But fucking no. They half-assedly try to nest the story in a shitty blockbuster of itself strictly so they can pad their stupid cameo list. The world did not need Screwloose Von Middletooth to be Austin Powers for eight seconds. Fat Bastard is still repellent, Seth Green is still underutilized, and Mike Myers plays too many fucking characters. Don't bother, we only did because we're both compulsive completionists, and it still took us all week to gather the requisite fucks to rent the fucking thing.
Friday, November 27, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week our theme was cop movies. We had a lot to choose from this week so we picked some classics. Cop movies are odd because in most of them the main characters are cheered on for doing their jobs poorly, but because they are doing it for justice we are cool with it. Anyways, it was a fun week, To the list!
1: Serpico
Serpico is about a cop who is the only person who wants to follow the law, breaking with what I said in my intro. One of the cool/terrifying things about this movie is that it is based on an actual policeman who revealed the massive police corruption in the NYPD. The movie starts with Serpico getting shot and immediately goes into a flashback of his career as a cop, from beat cop to plainclothes. Serpico is a good officer with one flaw, he is the only clean cop on the force. Serpico then starts trying to clean up the force by working with some state investigators while also trying to not get killed by other cops who don't trust him because he isn't dirty like them. Al Pacino is the standout talent in this film as a policeman on the edge, not just because he wants justice to prevail, but because he doesn't want to get killed doing it (though the rest of the cast is competent). This is one of the better biography movies I have seen because it isn't only an entertaining movie but also has a good message that still needs to be addressed. The direction is solid, and the movie is great at building tension. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: I have a hard time buying Pacino as a cop, and the fact that Serpico is the least stereotypical cop possible doesn't really help. He just always looks a little surprised and bewildered by the world around him to me. Fortunately, that kinda helps in this role, as Serpico is constantly being threatened and harangued for what really ought to be normal behavior for a cop. Really, Serpico is a pretty bad ass film about a pretty nifty dude, hampered only by the fact that old movies all seem to have a very flat tone to me. I think its a lighting thing. Anyway, if you wanna spend a couple hours just fucking loathing New York this is a great choice.
2: The French Connection
This is another movie that has a basis in reality, though its far more fictionalized than Serpico. This is a movie about a cop on the edge and his partner who is slightly less on the edge going after a drug ring that is starting to move on a big deal. Gene Hackman has always been good at playing a slightly angry tough guy, and this movie shows that off quite well. In this case the bad guy's attempt to kill him drives him to be perhaps a bit overzealous, and his quest for revenge makes him less of a cop and more of a vigilante. I am also a fan of Roy Scheider who plays the less aggressive partner to Gene Hackman's character. The two have good chemistry and its fun watching them run around being cops. There is an unfortunate side effect of watching this movie almost 50 years after it was released: it doesn't seem quite as fresh as it did back then. TFC came out in 1971 and for back then the car chase scene was very new and this one in particular was spectacular, but thanks to movies like the Bourne trilogy and a variety of others, chase scenes have transcended what they used to be. This is unfortunate, because the big chase is still good, and is shot well, it just seems a little less unique than it should. Don't take that statement as a negative, the movie is good, and you should still watch it, I just wish I had seen it earlier.
Eshi: Soooo, Gene Hackman's character looses his shit in this movie. Brian kinda points it out, but really man, dude murder's a fellow cop straight up. And he gives no fucks, just keeps on about his murder-business. I don't even feel bad about spoiling that, the movie is from '71 and I mean... Jesus. Like a full cylinder into the dude. That said, there are some nice buddy cop moments and and watching Hackman get dragged around New York by a fancy Frenchman is a lot of fun. Still has that old movie slog that came up with Serpico but its still definitely forgivable. Give it a try sometime.
3: Beverly Hills Cop
Beverly Hills cop is a movie about a cop from Detroit going to Beverly Hills to solve the murder of his friend. This was one of my favorite cop movies when I was a teenager. When I saw it, I saw the TV cut which has about 50 less fucks, but that doesn't cut enough of the movie out to ruin it or anything. It was older than I was at the time and it was my first experience with Eddie Murphy as not a shitty kids movie comedian. Eddie Murphy's charisma and joking attitude made the story a little less harrowing for 15 year old me and seeing it again after a few years made me realize what a great movie it is to get a person into crime dramas. It still has a gritty story about a cop hunting the people who gunned down his best friend but does so not by killing a bunch of goons, but instead by using his wits to turn situations to his favor. Eddie Murphy is great in a complex role (you can tell he wants to kill the bad guy, but that he knows he can't because he is a cop) and his two cop sidekicks/babysitters are also fun to watch, particularly Judge Reinhold. Its a good movie that deserves a watch, even if it is a little dated (especially the music).
Eshi: I really dislike what Eddie Murphy has become, and Beverly Hills Cop is fucking why. In it; he's funny, charming, relatively intelligent, and engaging as a protagonist. Yet for, I don't know, twenty years or so, the man has just been a fucking chore to watch. Happily; this is not that, and BHC is delightful. Watching Murphy drag a bunch of straight-faced grumpy fucks around L.A. as a social character is grand. Its especially pleasant in our current climate of general police cuntitude. I just hope Eddie Murphy gets his shit together, 'cause he's been really bad for a long time and this proves that, at least once upon a time, he can do better.
1: Serpico
Serpico is about a cop who is the only person who wants to follow the law, breaking with what I said in my intro. One of the cool/terrifying things about this movie is that it is based on an actual policeman who revealed the massive police corruption in the NYPD. The movie starts with Serpico getting shot and immediately goes into a flashback of his career as a cop, from beat cop to plainclothes. Serpico is a good officer with one flaw, he is the only clean cop on the force. Serpico then starts trying to clean up the force by working with some state investigators while also trying to not get killed by other cops who don't trust him because he isn't dirty like them. Al Pacino is the standout talent in this film as a policeman on the edge, not just because he wants justice to prevail, but because he doesn't want to get killed doing it (though the rest of the cast is competent). This is one of the better biography movies I have seen because it isn't only an entertaining movie but also has a good message that still needs to be addressed. The direction is solid, and the movie is great at building tension. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: I have a hard time buying Pacino as a cop, and the fact that Serpico is the least stereotypical cop possible doesn't really help. He just always looks a little surprised and bewildered by the world around him to me. Fortunately, that kinda helps in this role, as Serpico is constantly being threatened and harangued for what really ought to be normal behavior for a cop. Really, Serpico is a pretty bad ass film about a pretty nifty dude, hampered only by the fact that old movies all seem to have a very flat tone to me. I think its a lighting thing. Anyway, if you wanna spend a couple hours just fucking loathing New York this is a great choice.
2: The French Connection
This is another movie that has a basis in reality, though its far more fictionalized than Serpico. This is a movie about a cop on the edge and his partner who is slightly less on the edge going after a drug ring that is starting to move on a big deal. Gene Hackman has always been good at playing a slightly angry tough guy, and this movie shows that off quite well. In this case the bad guy's attempt to kill him drives him to be perhaps a bit overzealous, and his quest for revenge makes him less of a cop and more of a vigilante. I am also a fan of Roy Scheider who plays the less aggressive partner to Gene Hackman's character. The two have good chemistry and its fun watching them run around being cops. There is an unfortunate side effect of watching this movie almost 50 years after it was released: it doesn't seem quite as fresh as it did back then. TFC came out in 1971 and for back then the car chase scene was very new and this one in particular was spectacular, but thanks to movies like the Bourne trilogy and a variety of others, chase scenes have transcended what they used to be. This is unfortunate, because the big chase is still good, and is shot well, it just seems a little less unique than it should. Don't take that statement as a negative, the movie is good, and you should still watch it, I just wish I had seen it earlier.
Eshi: Soooo, Gene Hackman's character looses his shit in this movie. Brian kinda points it out, but really man, dude murder's a fellow cop straight up. And he gives no fucks, just keeps on about his murder-business. I don't even feel bad about spoiling that, the movie is from '71 and I mean... Jesus. Like a full cylinder into the dude. That said, there are some nice buddy cop moments and and watching Hackman get dragged around New York by a fancy Frenchman is a lot of fun. Still has that old movie slog that came up with Serpico but its still definitely forgivable. Give it a try sometime.
3: Beverly Hills Cop
Beverly Hills cop is a movie about a cop from Detroit going to Beverly Hills to solve the murder of his friend. This was one of my favorite cop movies when I was a teenager. When I saw it, I saw the TV cut which has about 50 less fucks, but that doesn't cut enough of the movie out to ruin it or anything. It was older than I was at the time and it was my first experience with Eddie Murphy as not a shitty kids movie comedian. Eddie Murphy's charisma and joking attitude made the story a little less harrowing for 15 year old me and seeing it again after a few years made me realize what a great movie it is to get a person into crime dramas. It still has a gritty story about a cop hunting the people who gunned down his best friend but does so not by killing a bunch of goons, but instead by using his wits to turn situations to his favor. Eddie Murphy is great in a complex role (you can tell he wants to kill the bad guy, but that he knows he can't because he is a cop) and his two cop sidekicks/babysitters are also fun to watch, particularly Judge Reinhold. Its a good movie that deserves a watch, even if it is a little dated (especially the music).
Eshi: I really dislike what Eddie Murphy has become, and Beverly Hills Cop is fucking why. In it; he's funny, charming, relatively intelligent, and engaging as a protagonist. Yet for, I don't know, twenty years or so, the man has just been a fucking chore to watch. Happily; this is not that, and BHC is delightful. Watching Murphy drag a bunch of straight-faced grumpy fucks around L.A. as a social character is grand. Its especially pleasant in our current climate of general police cuntitude. I just hope Eddie Murphy gets his shit together, 'cause he's been really bad for a long time and this proves that, at least once upon a time, he can do better.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This wee we decided to watch sports movies. The clinch is though, neither of us really like sports all that much, so they are all parodies. It was a fun week: to the list!
1: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
I enjoyed Dodgeball, even though it is kind of a dumb comedy. This movie is about a bunch of average guys, who go to Average Joe's Gym needing to make a bunch of money to keep the gym. A rival gym, who wants to buy their gym to turn into a parking structure tries to stop them. The medium for the conflict? A dodgeball tournament where the prize for 1st place is the exact amount of money they need to keep the gym. Its a classic premise of old sports movies. The difference here is that the movie doesn't take itself seriously at all. The average guys are all misfits of some variety, for instance the wonderful Alan Tudyk thinks he is a pirate, and the bad guys are cartoonishly evil. Vince Vaughn is far more subdued in the movie, which is odd considering the characters he usually plays. He is not quite a straight man, he just uses sarcasm as his main source of humor. Its not a bad film, and has quite a few good jokes and some very funny people in it (Rip Torn is great). Don't go in expecting too much and its a fun time.
Eshi: I have weird feelings about Ben Stiller. On one hand, Zoolander and Dodgeball are both fucking joyful. On the other hand, a startling amount of his catalog leaves me feeling like poor Gerry's semen had curdled before little Ben was conceived. Regardless, Dodgeball is grand. Its very well cast, well written, and weirdly optimistic. About my only complaint is that they kinda waste Alan Tudyk, but then I'd watch him just stare confusedly into a camera for an hour or two. A great movie to get toasty and enjoy.
2: Balls of Fury
Balls of Fury is a take on kung fu movies that uses ping pong instead of martial arts. Basically an ex-world champion level ping pong player is hired by the FBI to help track down and investigate a Chinese gangster. Its a fun movie, though a little to0 often the jokes fall flat. I love that Christopher Walken is in this movie as the big boss baddie. He gets to act over the top and crazy, which is something Walken is very good at. Its another movie that shouldn't be taken seriously. Watch with some friends and some booze and you should have a good time.
Eshi: I had forgotten how much I love 80's butt rock. The Dan Fogler tries a little too hard for most of the movie but its Immediately made up for by the rest of the cast. Brian mentioned Christopher Walken, and he more than carries his weight, but Aisha Tyler features prominently, as does the legendary James Hong, Maggie Q, and Thomas Lennon, who I don't feel gets enough work. Hell, even George Lopez manages to not be completely off-putting. Balls of Fury is goddamn ridiculous, and it revels completely in that.
3: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I skipped this movie in the past because I don't really get the whole Nascar thing, but it doesn't focus a lot on that. Its mostly a movie about an asshole being redeemed after being humbled by a superior foe. Nascar is just a framing device, and the movie doesn't explain shit about the sport. I actually liked the bad guy. He wasn't a villain, he was just brought in to make the main racing team perform better. The main conflict happens because Ricky Bobby feels as though he absolutely needs to be the best. Its good to see a movie where the main characters greatest enemy is himself. It's also very funny, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are great together, and Jane Lynch is fun to watch (as always, really). I had fun, despite being a little heavy on the product placement. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of the rampant capitalism of Nascar, but there comes a point at which the parody is just the movie doing the thing its making fun of. If they did this with fake commercials, I would have found it a lot funnier. Instead they actually through a fucking Applebee's commercial in it.
Eshi: I loathe redneck culture, mostly because it was a barely dodged bullet for me. So this one always plays a little close to the line. I've known people who could have inspired this movie if they hadn't decided to take up a lucrative career in meth consumption. That said, Talladega Nights is fun as hell. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly have fucking amazing chemistry, and it play a substantial role here. Michael Clark Duncan is a little blown here, but mostly because his role doesn't fully counter how much I wish he was still kicking around. In all Will Ferrell puts out exactly what you would expect, and its just as fun as that would entail. Whatever that happens to mean to you. Give it a shot.
1: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
I enjoyed Dodgeball, even though it is kind of a dumb comedy. This movie is about a bunch of average guys, who go to Average Joe's Gym needing to make a bunch of money to keep the gym. A rival gym, who wants to buy their gym to turn into a parking structure tries to stop them. The medium for the conflict? A dodgeball tournament where the prize for 1st place is the exact amount of money they need to keep the gym. Its a classic premise of old sports movies. The difference here is that the movie doesn't take itself seriously at all. The average guys are all misfits of some variety, for instance the wonderful Alan Tudyk thinks he is a pirate, and the bad guys are cartoonishly evil. Vince Vaughn is far more subdued in the movie, which is odd considering the characters he usually plays. He is not quite a straight man, he just uses sarcasm as his main source of humor. Its not a bad film, and has quite a few good jokes and some very funny people in it (Rip Torn is great). Don't go in expecting too much and its a fun time.
Eshi: I have weird feelings about Ben Stiller. On one hand, Zoolander and Dodgeball are both fucking joyful. On the other hand, a startling amount of his catalog leaves me feeling like poor Gerry's semen had curdled before little Ben was conceived. Regardless, Dodgeball is grand. Its very well cast, well written, and weirdly optimistic. About my only complaint is that they kinda waste Alan Tudyk, but then I'd watch him just stare confusedly into a camera for an hour or two. A great movie to get toasty and enjoy.
2: Balls of Fury
Balls of Fury is a take on kung fu movies that uses ping pong instead of martial arts. Basically an ex-world champion level ping pong player is hired by the FBI to help track down and investigate a Chinese gangster. Its a fun movie, though a little to0 often the jokes fall flat. I love that Christopher Walken is in this movie as the big boss baddie. He gets to act over the top and crazy, which is something Walken is very good at. Its another movie that shouldn't be taken seriously. Watch with some friends and some booze and you should have a good time.
Eshi: I had forgotten how much I love 80's butt rock. The Dan Fogler tries a little too hard for most of the movie but its Immediately made up for by the rest of the cast. Brian mentioned Christopher Walken, and he more than carries his weight, but Aisha Tyler features prominently, as does the legendary James Hong, Maggie Q, and Thomas Lennon, who I don't feel gets enough work. Hell, even George Lopez manages to not be completely off-putting. Balls of Fury is goddamn ridiculous, and it revels completely in that.
3: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I skipped this movie in the past because I don't really get the whole Nascar thing, but it doesn't focus a lot on that. Its mostly a movie about an asshole being redeemed after being humbled by a superior foe. Nascar is just a framing device, and the movie doesn't explain shit about the sport. I actually liked the bad guy. He wasn't a villain, he was just brought in to make the main racing team perform better. The main conflict happens because Ricky Bobby feels as though he absolutely needs to be the best. Its good to see a movie where the main characters greatest enemy is himself. It's also very funny, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are great together, and Jane Lynch is fun to watch (as always, really). I had fun, despite being a little heavy on the product placement. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of the rampant capitalism of Nascar, but there comes a point at which the parody is just the movie doing the thing its making fun of. If they did this with fake commercials, I would have found it a lot funnier. Instead they actually through a fucking Applebee's commercial in it.
Eshi: I loathe redneck culture, mostly because it was a barely dodged bullet for me. So this one always plays a little close to the line. I've known people who could have inspired this movie if they hadn't decided to take up a lucrative career in meth consumption. That said, Talladega Nights is fun as hell. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly have fucking amazing chemistry, and it play a substantial role here. Michael Clark Duncan is a little blown here, but mostly because his role doesn't fully counter how much I wish he was still kicking around. In all Will Ferrell puts out exactly what you would expect, and its just as fun as that would entail. Whatever that happens to mean to you. Give it a shot.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to weekly Cinemeh! This week we didn't really have a theme in mind, all the movies are dumb fun that we watched for the hell of it. The reason? Fallout 4 came out this week so both Eshi and I got distracted. Anyway, all the movies are fun, so think of this week as suggestions of what to watch if you get bored and just want to be amused.
1: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
Eshi has mentioned this movie before in his top 5 a while ago and I can see why. It takes the trope of rednecks in the middle of nowhere all being serial killers and turns it on its head by making the spunky group of teenagers the bad guys. This isn't really a spoiler, as it comes up right away in the film, but seriously its great. This movie is far funnier than it has a right to be, mostly because Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are fantastic comedic actors. Their bromantic interactions are what make the movie for me really. I also love that the basic idea behind the movie is that if people actually fucking talked to one another a ton of people wouldn't be killed in a wood chipper... or something to that affect. There are some great effects, a fun and clusterfucky story, and some excellent humor. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: I could gush about T&DvE all fucking day. We can talk about how the guys' relationship almost perfectly embodies the societies path to the return of masculine friendships as a genuine support structure (replacing a spectacularly damaging cultural standard of quasi-abusive/hyper-competitive man-friend). Or I could talk about how, while it is an homage to slasher movies in every respect, it itself is a classic Heroic Action film. Come to think of it I probably will do a more in depth analysis on T&D some day, because I'm just that much of a fucking nerd, but today is not that day. Today is the day I tell you to go watch one of my favorite movies because its made of hand-forged joy.
2: Conan the Barbarian
This fucking movie. I don't know why I like it some much. Its so ridiculous. I don't know what the best part is. Is it the fact that over half or Arnold's lines are his stereotypical "grunt"(Grunt doesn't do it justice, but I have no idea what you would call it) or that James Earl Jones has a head of hair that would make Fabio jealous. Its a great movie if you don't want to take something seriously. The story is kind of a typical fantasy jam (kid with dead parents trains up to beat the guy that killed them) but the way it tells it, bombastic and overly dramatic, makes it a joy. Arnold isn't a great actor but he looks like what you'd expect a dude named Conan the Barbarian to look like. Get tipsy and watch this movie with some friends, you will probably have a great time.
Eshi: I don't even really know what to say about Conan. As we've pretty fucking firmly established previously, I am a huge fantasy geek, so everything about this goddamn thing is simultaneously completely repellent to me and a two minute rewrite from a wet dream I've had. Conan doesn't come off as a movie, so much as it does the dramatic retelling of the transcripts from the saddest D&D group. Gods, I hope that's the saddest... Anyway, between Arnold crit-failing his Sound Like a Fucking Human rolls constantly and the bad guys looking like a non-consenual Anvil reunion tour, C the B is a good waste of an evening... provided you can't cobble together an adventure.
3: Goldfinger
I love me some James Bond and this movie is what I would consider the best example of a Bond movie. I have to say though, watching it now when I am more wizened then my younger self James Bond straight up rapes Pussy Galore. Its super uncomfortable to watch, because it is clear she isn't into it at first. This kind of kills a lot of the love I have for the movie, which is sad. This is where 90% of the James Bond stereotypes come from. This is the thing that sucks about Bond movies, they have all the fun action and gadgets and great villains you could want, but James Bond is the worst person ever. He is cruel, sexist, and kind of a piece of shit as a human being but you still want to like him because he has been the epitome of suave for a long time. This is the negative side of a charisma based hero I think. That being said, it is still a fun movie that is at least worth watching for the cultural relevance if nothing else.
Eshi: Oh my fucking Gods why does James Bond always rape somebody. I love that Bond movies are so campy, I love that the fight scenes look like the where choreographed in an alternate universe where everyone has Parkinson's, the convoluted plots, the ridiculous gadgets. I even love that there is a movie where someone seriously thought they could give Sean Connery a spray tan and a shitty wig and pass him off as Japanese. But every time there's a ten minute scene that is completely composed of the guy everyone supposedly wants to fuck trying entirely too hard to install himself in someone who is super actively not down with it I hate the universe a little more. There are better ways to show that your protagonist is a douchebag. I get the Bond was/is basically masturbatory, pretty much all fiction is to some extent, but Stockholming someone with your penis is maybe one of those urges you shouldn't encourage too much. Other than that though, Goldfinger was pretty fuckin' awesome.
1: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
Eshi has mentioned this movie before in his top 5 a while ago and I can see why. It takes the trope of rednecks in the middle of nowhere all being serial killers and turns it on its head by making the spunky group of teenagers the bad guys. This isn't really a spoiler, as it comes up right away in the film, but seriously its great. This movie is far funnier than it has a right to be, mostly because Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are fantastic comedic actors. Their bromantic interactions are what make the movie for me really. I also love that the basic idea behind the movie is that if people actually fucking talked to one another a ton of people wouldn't be killed in a wood chipper... or something to that affect. There are some great effects, a fun and clusterfucky story, and some excellent humor. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: I could gush about T&DvE all fucking day. We can talk about how the guys' relationship almost perfectly embodies the societies path to the return of masculine friendships as a genuine support structure (replacing a spectacularly damaging cultural standard of quasi-abusive/hyper-competitive man-friend). Or I could talk about how, while it is an homage to slasher movies in every respect, it itself is a classic Heroic Action film. Come to think of it I probably will do a more in depth analysis on T&D some day, because I'm just that much of a fucking nerd, but today is not that day. Today is the day I tell you to go watch one of my favorite movies because its made of hand-forged joy.
2: Conan the Barbarian
This fucking movie. I don't know why I like it some much. Its so ridiculous. I don't know what the best part is. Is it the fact that over half or Arnold's lines are his stereotypical "grunt"(Grunt doesn't do it justice, but I have no idea what you would call it) or that James Earl Jones has a head of hair that would make Fabio jealous. Its a great movie if you don't want to take something seriously. The story is kind of a typical fantasy jam (kid with dead parents trains up to beat the guy that killed them) but the way it tells it, bombastic and overly dramatic, makes it a joy. Arnold isn't a great actor but he looks like what you'd expect a dude named Conan the Barbarian to look like. Get tipsy and watch this movie with some friends, you will probably have a great time.
Eshi: I don't even really know what to say about Conan. As we've pretty fucking firmly established previously, I am a huge fantasy geek, so everything about this goddamn thing is simultaneously completely repellent to me and a two minute rewrite from a wet dream I've had. Conan doesn't come off as a movie, so much as it does the dramatic retelling of the transcripts from the saddest D&D group. Gods, I hope that's the saddest... Anyway, between Arnold crit-failing his Sound Like a Fucking Human rolls constantly and the bad guys looking like a non-consenual Anvil reunion tour, C the B is a good waste of an evening... provided you can't cobble together an adventure.
3: Goldfinger
I love me some James Bond and this movie is what I would consider the best example of a Bond movie. I have to say though, watching it now when I am more wizened then my younger self James Bond straight up rapes Pussy Galore. Its super uncomfortable to watch, because it is clear she isn't into it at first. This kind of kills a lot of the love I have for the movie, which is sad. This is where 90% of the James Bond stereotypes come from. This is the thing that sucks about Bond movies, they have all the fun action and gadgets and great villains you could want, but James Bond is the worst person ever. He is cruel, sexist, and kind of a piece of shit as a human being but you still want to like him because he has been the epitome of suave for a long time. This is the negative side of a charisma based hero I think. That being said, it is still a fun movie that is at least worth watching for the cultural relevance if nothing else.
Eshi: Oh my fucking Gods why does James Bond always rape somebody. I love that Bond movies are so campy, I love that the fight scenes look like the where choreographed in an alternate universe where everyone has Parkinson's, the convoluted plots, the ridiculous gadgets. I even love that there is a movie where someone seriously thought they could give Sean Connery a spray tan and a shitty wig and pass him off as Japanese. But every time there's a ten minute scene that is completely composed of the guy everyone supposedly wants to fuck trying entirely too hard to install himself in someone who is super actively not down with it I hate the universe a little more. There are better ways to show that your protagonist is a douchebag. I get the Bond was/is basically masturbatory, pretty much all fiction is to some extent, but Stockholming someone with your penis is maybe one of those urges you shouldn't encourage too much. Other than that though, Goldfinger was pretty fuckin' awesome.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we go in a different direction from our month of horror and do some foreign comedies. I enjoy comedies so this week was a good week for me. To the list!
1: Closer to The Moon
This movie is based on the true story of the Rosenthal gang's heist in soviet controlled Romania after WWII. Basically a bunch of Romanian's who were part of the Jewish resistance movement against the Nazis get fired from their jobs and replaced by people who are more willing to support the Soviet Union, and in response they decide to rob a bank. Its a dark story that is shown through a series of funny moments. The writer/director is a Romanian man named Nae Caranfil who lived through this time period and I think his ability to find humor in a dark time is great. The cast is good, Mark Stong is good at playing good guys who are slightly sinister and Vera Farmiga does a great job in a pretty complex role. The movie deals well with a subject that gets lost over in the US. People who grow up during a war are a much different group than people born during peacetime, especially when the war is fought in your country. This movie portrays the communists behind the iron curtain as incompetent, self serving, violent, and bovine. One of my favorite jokes in the movie is the extras in the "documentary" being filmed are all communist soldiers, and none of them know how to do anything other than be soldiers so it's funny watching them try to act. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: Closer to The Moon is kind of a weird thing. It's a comedy, it certainly has a humorous bent but the comedy is kind of perpendicular to the plot. Its not a dark comedy, where disturbing or upsetting material is handled in a funny way, its more like a fucked up drama wearing a silly hat. That said, the funny bits are pretty funny and the drama is compelling. I would have liked to see more Romanian actors featured prominently but really only because I'm not super familiar with any and I enjoy learning about international pop culture.
2: In The Loop
This is a movie based around a very funny Brittish TV show called The Thick Of It, which I love. Its about a group of politicians around 2001-2002 dealing with the possibility of going to war in Iraq. This movie is full of British and American comedians and some amazing insults. Its a lot like the TV show. You get to see some politicians being evil and/or incompetent who get yelled at by Peter Capaldi (whom you may know as the 12th Dr. Who) who is employed by the British government to keep politicians in line. It is a fun film with some very funny bits. Peter Capaldi is amazing at playing rage incarnate, and I would say that the movie is worth watching just to see him insult the poor people under his command. The subject matter can be a little dry, but the characters are fun to watch and its a good political satire. Watch it.
Eshi: I really wish that politicians were so easily dominated by loud noises and colorful profanity, I feel like someday they could be domesticated, maybe even housebroken. Peter Capaldi is both super charismatic and wonderfully descriptive with his outbursts. In The Loop is well cast and superbly written, even if I'm not super on-board with some of the visual choices, (the whole thing is shot in soft focus). Give it a shot sometime.
3: The Trip To Italy
The Trip to Italy is a movie that was originally a TV miniseries about two British comedians, Rob Bryden and Steve Coogan, traveling around the Italian countryside eating at some amazing restaurants and enjoying a beautiful country. I enjoyed the first The Trip movie, it was fun watching two comedians who do a lot of voices compete with each other while driving around and eating good food. It was a fun ride. The sequel is just more of that but in Italy. I don't think this movie was as good as the first, but it was still fun to watch dueling impressionists out Michael Cain one another. There are some amazingly funny bits and some great scenery. Its a deeper movie than just all of that though. These two comedians deal with mid-life crises, getting closer to death, and the various amounts of success and failure each have experienced. Watch it if you liked the first movie, you will probably like the second because it is just more of the same.
Eshi: The Trip was a fun, low-intensity comedy about a couple of friends/rivals going through their mid-life crises via road trip and restaurant tour. The Trip To Italy is that but in Italy. Don't get me wrong, it is exactly what its expected to be, and it was very enjoyable, but it was probably unnecessary. Steve Coogan is the same ego-maniacal douche Steve Coogan so often portrays and Rob Bryden is as delightful as he usually is, save that I noticed that he looks like a Welsh Mitt Romney. I watched this mostly for the fucking beautiful shots of the Italian coast and delicious Italian food. The steady background of two talented comedians bantering was just a very welcome bonus.
1: Closer to The Moon
This movie is based on the true story of the Rosenthal gang's heist in soviet controlled Romania after WWII. Basically a bunch of Romanian's who were part of the Jewish resistance movement against the Nazis get fired from their jobs and replaced by people who are more willing to support the Soviet Union, and in response they decide to rob a bank. Its a dark story that is shown through a series of funny moments. The writer/director is a Romanian man named Nae Caranfil who lived through this time period and I think his ability to find humor in a dark time is great. The cast is good, Mark Stong is good at playing good guys who are slightly sinister and Vera Farmiga does a great job in a pretty complex role. The movie deals well with a subject that gets lost over in the US. People who grow up during a war are a much different group than people born during peacetime, especially when the war is fought in your country. This movie portrays the communists behind the iron curtain as incompetent, self serving, violent, and bovine. One of my favorite jokes in the movie is the extras in the "documentary" being filmed are all communist soldiers, and none of them know how to do anything other than be soldiers so it's funny watching them try to act. Its a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: Closer to The Moon is kind of a weird thing. It's a comedy, it certainly has a humorous bent but the comedy is kind of perpendicular to the plot. Its not a dark comedy, where disturbing or upsetting material is handled in a funny way, its more like a fucked up drama wearing a silly hat. That said, the funny bits are pretty funny and the drama is compelling. I would have liked to see more Romanian actors featured prominently but really only because I'm not super familiar with any and I enjoy learning about international pop culture.
2: In The Loop
This is a movie based around a very funny Brittish TV show called The Thick Of It, which I love. Its about a group of politicians around 2001-2002 dealing with the possibility of going to war in Iraq. This movie is full of British and American comedians and some amazing insults. Its a lot like the TV show. You get to see some politicians being evil and/or incompetent who get yelled at by Peter Capaldi (whom you may know as the 12th Dr. Who) who is employed by the British government to keep politicians in line. It is a fun film with some very funny bits. Peter Capaldi is amazing at playing rage incarnate, and I would say that the movie is worth watching just to see him insult the poor people under his command. The subject matter can be a little dry, but the characters are fun to watch and its a good political satire. Watch it.
Eshi: I really wish that politicians were so easily dominated by loud noises and colorful profanity, I feel like someday they could be domesticated, maybe even housebroken. Peter Capaldi is both super charismatic and wonderfully descriptive with his outbursts. In The Loop is well cast and superbly written, even if I'm not super on-board with some of the visual choices, (the whole thing is shot in soft focus). Give it a shot sometime.
3: The Trip To Italy
The Trip to Italy is a movie that was originally a TV miniseries about two British comedians, Rob Bryden and Steve Coogan, traveling around the Italian countryside eating at some amazing restaurants and enjoying a beautiful country. I enjoyed the first The Trip movie, it was fun watching two comedians who do a lot of voices compete with each other while driving around and eating good food. It was a fun ride. The sequel is just more of that but in Italy. I don't think this movie was as good as the first, but it was still fun to watch dueling impressionists out Michael Cain one another. There are some amazingly funny bits and some great scenery. Its a deeper movie than just all of that though. These two comedians deal with mid-life crises, getting closer to death, and the various amounts of success and failure each have experienced. Watch it if you liked the first movie, you will probably like the second because it is just more of the same.
Eshi: The Trip was a fun, low-intensity comedy about a couple of friends/rivals going through their mid-life crises via road trip and restaurant tour. The Trip To Italy is that but in Italy. Don't get me wrong, it is exactly what its expected to be, and it was very enjoyable, but it was probably unnecessary. Steve Coogan is the same ego-maniacal douche Steve Coogan so often portrays and Rob Bryden is as delightful as he usually is, save that I noticed that he looks like a Welsh Mitt Romney. I watched this mostly for the fucking beautiful shots of the Italian coast and delicious Italian food. The steady background of two talented comedians bantering was just a very welcome bonus.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh! This week we finished our month long monster movie marathon. We have done zombies, aliens, and werewolves so far, and this week we round out the horror theme with vampires! Vampire movies are some of my favorite movies because the enemy is almost always suave at the same time as being fucking terrifying. It's the best. To the list!
1: Horror of Dracula
This movie is a pretty decent version of the classic Dracula story. Dracula hires a librarian, who turns out to be the vampire hunter, Johnathan Harker. When Harker fails to kill his target, he is turned by the Count, who then goes to Harker's hometown to get revenge by turning his fiancee. Van Helsing kills his former partner and follows Dracula in an attempt to end his tyranny for ever. Christopher Lee plays the titular character, and does so with style. He's creepy and his very presence has weight, for the like 3 minutes he is in the movie. I can see why he became the go to Dracula for a while though. Peter Cushing plays the main hero, Doctor Van Helsing, and I have to say, I would never have pictured Grand Moff Tarkin as a practitioner of parkour but I will now. He does some pretty impressive running and jumping while fighting Dracula, its impressive. Its a good movie, watch it with some friends while eating too much Halloween candy.
Eshi: I have to admit, I was really hoping that Dracula would have that fucking awesome Christopher Lee voice, but after I got over that disappointment I had a good time. Hammer horror tends to have that old school propriety that serves to add to the apparent discomfort of the characters and the Horror of Dracula is a great demonstration. Peter Cushing is surprisingly compelling as a determined Vampire hunter, and he does indeed book it like a motherfucker when time comes to kick some undead ass. I do find myself wishing both that Sir Christopher was a bigger part of this film, and that he hadn't been guilted into so much work because of it. If you're feeling a good old-fashioned monster movie this is a solid top to that list.
2: From Dusk Till Dawn
This is a more pulpy version of vampires. This movie starts with a two brothers escaping to Mexico after a bit of a crime spree. Along the way they pick up some hostages (a super Christian family of three on a trip) and eventually get to a bar called Titty Twister to wait for a contact who will take them to a safe haven called El Rey. While watching Salma Hayek dance, she and all of the bar's employees turn into vampires and start killing people. Our unlikely group of people then have to survive until morning. I love this movie. It knows that its a little campy, and seeks to take that to the extreme. The cast is great, there are some very funny bits, and the effects are cheesy but not terrible. All in all it is a great movie, watch it with some buddies.
Eshi: From Dusk till Dawn is one of my favorite fun vampire movies. George Clooney is exactly as charming and Clooney-esque as he always fucking is, and Harvey Keitel shows the depth of his phenomenal talent by not making his ex-preacher character into a complete fucking choad. I feel like there where several scenes in this film that had to be done with stunt feet, because Quentin Tarantino reeeeaaaally gets his money's worth on that directorial authority in regards to his weird-ass foot thing. This movie has vampires, tits, violence and a guy named Sex Machine who has a dick gun. Why aren't you watching it right now?
3: John Carpenter's Vampires
This movie starts out with a bunch of vampire hunters killing a bunch of vampires who had made a nest in a Mexican farmhouse. They kill a lot of "goons", but the master vampire is nowhere to be found. Later that night the master interrupts a party the hunters are having by killing 90% of them and turning a hooker. The remaining hunters decide to use the master's telepathic link with his newly turned vampire against him by asking her what she sees when she receives visions from him. It turns out that the vampire they are hunting is the first vampire, and that he is trying to find an object with which he will be able to walk in the sun. I still don't know how to feel about this movie. I love John Carpenter's work, but I didn't enjoy this movie. Truth be told I spent the bulk of this movie making fun of Daniel Bladwin. I thought it was fun watching James Woods try to hard be cool while the vampire leader tried to channel The Crow, but that doesn't make a good movie. The weird "love story" between Dustin Baldwin and Sheryl Lee made no sense. Their entire interaction is him pushing her around, stripping her naked while she was passed out and tying her to a bed, and punching her in her face. This is not a romance as much an abduction but the movie plays it off as the former, and that was a little disconcerting. All in all I think this movie would have been improved with alcohol.
Eshi: I can totally understand why Brian doesn't like this movie. However, between Devlin Baldwin's bipolar courting process and James Woods asking his church liaison if all this violence "gives him wood", I revel in the camp. The master vampire is every broody high schooler in every Hot Topic ever, and Gordo Baldwin's only real value to the plot is to domestic abuse the whole "vampire prostitute" problem until they don't have to bother with that bit of plot anymore. So, if you like campy vampire flicks, John Carpenter, and that one Baldwin brother, maybe work your way into a heady buzz and give this one a go.
1: Horror of Dracula
This movie is a pretty decent version of the classic Dracula story. Dracula hires a librarian, who turns out to be the vampire hunter, Johnathan Harker. When Harker fails to kill his target, he is turned by the Count, who then goes to Harker's hometown to get revenge by turning his fiancee. Van Helsing kills his former partner and follows Dracula in an attempt to end his tyranny for ever. Christopher Lee plays the titular character, and does so with style. He's creepy and his very presence has weight, for the like 3 minutes he is in the movie. I can see why he became the go to Dracula for a while though. Peter Cushing plays the main hero, Doctor Van Helsing, and I have to say, I would never have pictured Grand Moff Tarkin as a practitioner of parkour but I will now. He does some pretty impressive running and jumping while fighting Dracula, its impressive. Its a good movie, watch it with some friends while eating too much Halloween candy.
Eshi: I have to admit, I was really hoping that Dracula would have that fucking awesome Christopher Lee voice, but after I got over that disappointment I had a good time. Hammer horror tends to have that old school propriety that serves to add to the apparent discomfort of the characters and the Horror of Dracula is a great demonstration. Peter Cushing is surprisingly compelling as a determined Vampire hunter, and he does indeed book it like a motherfucker when time comes to kick some undead ass. I do find myself wishing both that Sir Christopher was a bigger part of this film, and that he hadn't been guilted into so much work because of it. If you're feeling a good old-fashioned monster movie this is a solid top to that list.
2: From Dusk Till Dawn
This is a more pulpy version of vampires. This movie starts with a two brothers escaping to Mexico after a bit of a crime spree. Along the way they pick up some hostages (a super Christian family of three on a trip) and eventually get to a bar called Titty Twister to wait for a contact who will take them to a safe haven called El Rey. While watching Salma Hayek dance, she and all of the bar's employees turn into vampires and start killing people. Our unlikely group of people then have to survive until morning. I love this movie. It knows that its a little campy, and seeks to take that to the extreme. The cast is great, there are some very funny bits, and the effects are cheesy but not terrible. All in all it is a great movie, watch it with some buddies.
Eshi: From Dusk till Dawn is one of my favorite fun vampire movies. George Clooney is exactly as charming and Clooney-esque as he always fucking is, and Harvey Keitel shows the depth of his phenomenal talent by not making his ex-preacher character into a complete fucking choad. I feel like there where several scenes in this film that had to be done with stunt feet, because Quentin Tarantino reeeeaaaally gets his money's worth on that directorial authority in regards to his weird-ass foot thing. This movie has vampires, tits, violence and a guy named Sex Machine who has a dick gun. Why aren't you watching it right now?
3: John Carpenter's Vampires
This movie starts out with a bunch of vampire hunters killing a bunch of vampires who had made a nest in a Mexican farmhouse. They kill a lot of "goons", but the master vampire is nowhere to be found. Later that night the master interrupts a party the hunters are having by killing 90% of them and turning a hooker. The remaining hunters decide to use the master's telepathic link with his newly turned vampire against him by asking her what she sees when she receives visions from him. It turns out that the vampire they are hunting is the first vampire, and that he is trying to find an object with which he will be able to walk in the sun. I still don't know how to feel about this movie. I love John Carpenter's work, but I didn't enjoy this movie. Truth be told I spent the bulk of this movie making fun of Daniel Bladwin. I thought it was fun watching James Woods try to hard be cool while the vampire leader tried to channel The Crow, but that doesn't make a good movie. The weird "love story" between Dustin Baldwin and Sheryl Lee made no sense. Their entire interaction is him pushing her around, stripping her naked while she was passed out and tying her to a bed, and punching her in her face. This is not a romance as much an abduction but the movie plays it off as the former, and that was a little disconcerting. All in all I think this movie would have been improved with alcohol.
Eshi: I can totally understand why Brian doesn't like this movie. However, between Devlin Baldwin's bipolar courting process and James Woods asking his church liaison if all this violence "gives him wood", I revel in the camp. The master vampire is every broody high schooler in every Hot Topic ever, and Gordo Baldwin's only real value to the plot is to domestic abuse the whole "vampire prostitute" problem until they don't have to bother with that bit of plot anymore. So, if you like campy vampire flicks, John Carpenter, and that one Baldwin brother, maybe work your way into a heady buzz and give this one a go.
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