Weekly Cinemeh

This week we decided to go in a less serious route (its not like we are particularly serious to begin with) and watch some action movies. I will admit to liking the occasional action movie, though they tend to be middle of the road to just terrible. Every once in a while you get movies that are essentially perfect movie: They hit all the right notes for what they are supposed to be (Yippee-Kay Yay motherfuckers).

1: White House Down
This was my second time seeing this movie (we try to do movies that one or both of us have never seen) and I have been pushing it on Eshi for a while. Why? Because this is a Die Hard movie without the title. I heard that before watching it and I thought "really? One of two movies that came out within spitting distance of each other about people blowing up the white house was good?" It looked like a shitty action movie, but when curiosity caught up to me I had to watch it. I mean come on, it was compared to one of my favorite movies, it might actually be good. Here is the shocker: This movie is great fun. It scratches all the itches that Die Hard did (the first one and maybe the third one) and is a very entertaining movie. Its not a perfect movie, some of the green-screening is kinda bad (seriously every outdoors shot is green screened poorly), and it can get a little flag-wavy(literally at one point) what with it being about the white house, and some of the plot points are slightly insane. Its reasonably well acted and the rapport between Channing Tatum and Jammie Fox was good. If you are looking for a fun time, this is a good movie for it.

Eshi: I was hesitant about this movie partly because, as Brian mentioned, it looked a lot like the sibling to Olympus Has Fallen which looked like hot sick wrapped in Gerard Butler. Having watched it, I feel myself reconsidering my moratorium on Chan Tates. Spiffy explosions, some fun lines, and some pretty solid chemistry. Oh, and it is entirely a Die Hard movie, like a real one... not like #4. Jesus Bruce, we all love you here and we want what is best for you, learn to say no. Anyway... yeah its good, watch this one.

2: The Peacemaker
Spoilers ahead. This movie was odd. I like the actors (George Clooney and Nicole Kidman) and some of the action was exciting and well done, but the plot ignores something that would have solved the whole situation: better police-work. When the bad guy might be in a building, leave people at the fucking exits, don't just traipse up to his room with all your men. When the bad guy is flying in don't let people leave the airport until you can confirm that they don't have a nuke on them, even if they are diplomats. I am sure that they would understand being held up if it meant not being exploded. This is slightly unfair because the movie isn't bad per-Se, just kinda middle of the road. The main idea behind the plot was cool, and I genuinely thought that the bad guy's motivation and plan had potential to be a cool moral turn around (maybe I shouldn't kill a bunch on innocent people to get revenge for innocent people being killed). Even though it didn't go in that direction it was still a fun movie. If you just want to see George Clooney kill a bunch of bad guys, watch The American instead.

Eshi: I dig George Clooney. I like Nicole Kidman. They do not play well together. The action in this movie was pretty balls-out, but the characterization was... I'm going to say unfortunate. The antagonist fell into kind of a weird uncanny valley of sympathy, like I get why he's all fucked up, I appreciate his rage, but he's pretty fucking stupid for such a blatant stereotype of academia. There was almost no chemistry in the movie and the plot falls on its face like a drunken hobo being repeatedly tazed. This movie was unworthy.

3: Hard Boiled
Watching a John Woo action movie is like watching a kung fu movie with guns. There is a lot of emphasis on movement and scenes being highly mobile, flowing from one room to the next as the action continues to accelerate. This is a movie about two cops, one undercover, the other not, taking on a gun running ring out of Hong Kong. Chow Yun-Fat is a great actor and it was fun watching him slide around on the floor and fire two guns (also whilst leaping though the air). There are some truly epic fight scenes in this movie, and was a super fun to watch. If you haven't seen a John Woo movie, this is an excellent place to start.

Eshi: I had a gunfight erection ten minutes after the start of this movie. People give John Woo a lot of shit for his style but really, the man is a goddamn artist. The action, despite everyone having an infinite ammo cheat, was fucking spectacular, the camera work was goddamn intimate, and the story was just insane enough to be delightful. There was a kinda weird undertone of literally everyone seeming like they wanted to suck Tony Leung's dick, but it starts to seem pretty natural after about 45 minutes. He's a very pretty man is what I'm getting at. So, fuck yeah watch this movie.