I Promise I Don't Know Anyone At CD Projeckt Red

Lately I've been playing Blood and Wine for The Witcher 3, and if there is one thing that can't be stressed enough about the expansion its that its fucking breathtaking. I'm not using that word lightly. I do not fuck about when I play games, I am a hard story/hard action player. Not happy unless I'm learning something relevant or killing something interesting. On at least three occasions in as many days I have stopped dead whatever quest or personal slaughter quota I was engaged in, lined up a specific view, and just had Geralt meditate until the moment when the light would be best to really experience a particular vista. The Witcher is a pretty fucking glorious game just generally, and the whole game is beautiful, but Toussaint is heartbreakingly gorgeous. To the point that just riding along a random coast road is a moving experience worthy of comment.

With the expansion they added a goddamn plethora of tiny UI and graphical improvements, cleaned up the crafting system by adding a badly needed buy option for materials that you don't have but the smith does. Though sadly it appears they didn't carry that into the alchemist shops, which given the the fact that you can do that yourself I can sort of understand. They also added an homage to the mutagen systems in the previous games by opening up the option to modify Geralt's mutation with some skills that almost make me alright with the fact that this is the third game in a contiguous series and you start at level fucking one.

So far Blood and Wine lives up to the hype entirely as far as I'm concerned. It's funny, engaging, vast, and displays an emotional landscape that takes the already vibrant and sympathetic characters that the series does so well and elevates them about as near as you can and still have them be fictional. There are games that I've had more fun playing, there are games that have scratched similar itches better, But I think B&W takes The Witcher 3 pretty handily to the #1 spot on my favorites list. Like ever.

There and Back... Again!

So apparently fans have gotten together and reduced Peter Jackson's epic, cinematic disappointment; the Hobbit fucking trilogy, into a single four hour piece. I am delighted by this for a number of reasons.

First, now I get to watch the hobbit. I love Jackson's directorial style. I love what he did with the environments and how he treated the world at large. However, I am always dragged out of immersion by two things: the various omissions and additions, and the fact that the films were blatantly padded out into as many films as they thought they could get away with (a topic Brian has poked before). I don't know the fans that did the recut, but I'm far more willing to sit through almost anything they did rather than two hours of fucking Legolas and Kili trying to decide whether or not to double team Sawyer's girlfriend from Lost.

Second, I am always excited by fans insinuating themselves into the process. It might be after the fact but these are people who took them time to break down a meh series of movies and try to fit them back together (theoretically) into the beloved story that spawned them. And now they have an opportunity to expose that to the public and make a statement. That's awesome.

 The final reason I will freely admit is geek-spite at Peter Jackson. The Lord of the Rings films redacted Tom Bombadil. I fucking loved Tom Bombadil. Motherfucker is straight up immune to the One Ring, he deserves at least a passing reference.

Old Scratch

In lieu of a list of movies we have watched for weekly cinemeh this week (It will return next week, I swear) I wanted to talk about one of the most interesting characters in christian mythology and my 5 favorite depictions of him in cinema. You can probably guess who I am talking about. The Devil, old hob, Iblis, the father of lies, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Satan, or what have you. The Devil has appeared in many forms over movie history. Too many times the character is a terrible, one dimensional mess, but sometimes actors give a performance that really brings out the depth that is required when playing the antithesis of good in the world. These are not in any particular order, all are worth the watch.

#5: Viggo Mortensen in The Prophecy

The Prophecy trilogy is not high art. Its not a terrible movie, but the good side of bad, like fast food or Keanu Reeves. Christopher Walken as Gabriel is fantastic in this film, which should come as no big surprise, but Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer was also amazing, which was a nice surprise. I am not a big fan of Mortensen personally, but this was a good casting choice. He plays Lucifer as a sort of psycho jilted ex-lover and he comes at the role with just the right levels of unsettling and a sense that he could go crazy and kill every motherfucker in the room if the mood took him.

#4 Peter Stormare in Constantine

I like Peter Stormare a lot. He was great in the Big Lebowski as the Nihilist and as one of the kidnappers (Gaear Grimsrud) in Fargo. As Lucifer in Constantine he gives a great performance. Every line oozes from his lips in the creepiest fashion possible. The giddyness that Lucifer has at getting to torture one of his worst enemies is also well portrayed. All around he does an excellent job. On that note though, Constantine is a bad movie, much like Prophesy its fun but over all poorly done. The only connection between the movie and the Hellblazer comics is a general similarity in character names, and that is disappointing, but is still fun to watch.

#3 Al Pacino in Devil's Advocate

This is where the list will slightly change course. This is actually a good movie. I enjoyed it a lot, mostly because Al Pacino plays an amazing Devil. He is passionate, driven to succeed at his goal of world domination, and more than willing to make a deal. A fantastic portrayal of the charismatic "man will condemn himself" type of devil. He merely shows you an option, it is up to you to decide to take it. I really enjoy this movie.

 #2 Ray Wise in Reaper

This isn't a movie, but as this is a list about the lord of lies, I don't feel too bad about cheating on the eligibility standards. Also, Ray Wise is great in this show. He plays a very humanizing version of the devil. He starts out with the Charisma that you would expect from Satan, as deal maker, but as the story continues you see him as a three dimensional character instead of just a symbol of evil. Its a fun, mostly episodic, comedy show that is well worth the watch. Also, I love Tyler Labine.

#1 Peter Cook in the original Bedazzled

Not the remake with George of Jungle, but the original British comedy. Its a great movie, and Peter Cook is fantastic in it. He plays a sadistic, sarcastic, and (once again) charismatic Satan. I don't want to go into to much spoiler territory but its a good comedy that also has a humanized Devil, who is just trying to get back into gods graces by helping a human man find love. Its a good portrayal and unfortunately I can't put a youtube clip here because they are all of the decidedly meh 2000 version. Find the original and watch it, its a great movie.