Carl Sagan Is My Spirit Animal

I don't believe in a specific god or a specific pantheon of gods/goddesses/spirits or whatever. I have made this clear in the past. But I am also definitely not an atheist in the more modern sense of the term. I call myself an atheist when people ask what I believe only when I don't feel like describing what I am.

Apathetic agnostic would be the least offensive term to describe me. I don't know if any form of divinity definitely exists, but I am not opposed to the idea. I don't think that anyone has gotten it right yet, and really, I don't care. We don't have a way of proving the subject either way, so I propose we table the subject in any discussion of broad spectrum legislation/debate and instead focus on what we can do. Explore the world.

Every time I call myself an agnostic people will have basically one or both of these responses: contempt because I can't/won't pick a side and/or they will try to convert me to their cause. This pisses me off, because it makes the assumption that I have not thought about it. "If you had thought about it, you would come to a decision" I hear some of them say. This is bullshit. There is no definitive proof in support of either side so picking one seems irresponsible at best to me.

To that end, as I mentioned above, instead of wasting our time trying to arguing about it/legislate it/eliminate religion, lets just explore the universe as is. Its amazing, and the more we explore it the more we understand about it and the more questions pop up.


"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."

Carl Sagan

Its Not Stupid, Its Advanced.

I talked about transhumanism a while back with regard to some of the common issues/misconceptions about the community. One of these issues involves the fact that some people will not want to be synthetically (or biologically) improved, resulting in a class system where the unmodified are the natural second class citizens. I touched on this issue in my last post and intentionally limited myself to discussing the lack of malice towards the unmodified. This is not that post.

I appreciate that augmentation is a choice, I approve of it being a choice. A real choice even, as far as I'm concerned capitalism and transhumanism are opposed ideals, so financial restrictions should theoretically be absent. However, I feel that choosing not to modify is essentially an existential failure. Those who remain "natural" wont just be at an absolute disadvantage in nearly every aspect of life, they'll have done it to themselves.

Assuming my hopes and dreams are relatively accepted by the H+ revolution and we do away with scarcity dependent systems, the inequity leveled on the unmodified would be, not just easily remedied, but their own fault. The most common source of hesitation to modify is the fear, for one reason or another, that getting augmented in some way diminishes one's humanity. I've covered that ground before, but if you have some religious or philosophical block that prevents augmentation that's fine, but your choice to not develop with your environment makes you obsolete. I'm not speaking from a position of cruelty, I don't hold any ill will as long as those who have no desire to modify don't try to prevent me from doing it. Its fucking evolution. Voluntary evolution, admittedly, but when the species adapts into something demonstrably superior choosing not to evolve with it demands divergence. The unmodified will not be able to keep up with people who have been upgraded, their ability to contribute, or even effectively interact, with society will disintegrate.

When human upgrading becomes an option it will be the most important, life changing decision anyone will make. It will also be an absolute wall in society. The modified and unmodified will quite rapidly segregate as the abilities of the one group grow beyond the imaginings of the other. I'm not saying that people who choose not to change themselves will or should be culled. I am saying that, past a certain point, co-civilization wont be a viable option, and if the unmodified have a problem with that, the impetus is on them to evolve.

YKWFA: The Least Violent Way to a Man's Heart.

Not long enough ago and not far enough away my wife and I lived with her mother. Now I love my wife spectacularly. Seriously, its crazy. But she and I agree that her mother is a vile, shit-souled, solipsistic, thunder-cunt. I know, I know, this is supposed to be about something fucking awesome, not the subhuman bilge waste that spawned my lovely wife; but it follows, I promise. When she wasn't manipulating my wife or insulting me she was a terrible food snob, not in that she was overly fussy about what she ate (though she did insist that her cats ate organic gourmet lobster cat food), but in that she was bad at being a food snob. So bad in fact that it inspired me.

I once heard this woman utter the phrase "Oh, I don't really care, food is really just fuel." on the 45 minute drive to the organic farmer she bought milk and eggs from. That stopped me pretty much dead. Her hypocrisy boggled my mind, but more than that I was inspired by how wrong she was. I'm a tubby fucker, so I've always had a complex relationship to food (that link rambles a bit and is a bit nsfw but I love Ed Byrne and he makes my point well... eventually). She pushed me over the edge. After that point I loved food, no question, no hesitation. Food is fucking awesome. See, I told you we'd get there.

First, let me say, "food is fuel" is an accurate statement; "food is just fuel" is super fucking not. Food is a massively complex amalgamation of social/cultural/ethnic/religious standards and compromises layered over geological/climatic/biological limitations wrapped in what is both one of the most complex, and the most accessible, sciences and sprinkled liberally with the ecstatic neuro-biological phenomenon of flavor.

Anthropologically, food is almost frighteningly important. The production of food stuffs, the security of food resources, the social systems that arise surrounding going from seed to stomach are all fascinating, interdependent structures that are incredibly enlightening. Not to mention the wondrous cultural gestalt that happens when people from different food-cultures share food with each other. Food can tell us about people, describe ancient environments and technologies, and lubricate peace between cultures. It also has an anthropological "dark side". If you don't believe me go to Philadelphia and mention cheesesteak, hell just saying the word "baklava" in certain company can start fights.

Beyond anthropology there are advanced and novel chemical processes involved in cooking at every juncture. The process of turning light and dirt into energy and passing that energy up the food chain, the way different additions and catalysts (some in terribly minute quantities) can change the flavor, content and structure of a dish, down to the way the body processes different nutrients in different preparations.  Have no desire to hunt links for every other word in this post, though I could, so here's a starter link, study up. Also, food is mighty tasty.

I could go on about this for days, the science and culture of food is one of the most beautiful, nuanced aspects of day to day life. Whether or not people think about it, what and how we eat plays a massive role in our lives top to bottom. If you take anything away from this post, let it be this; my mother-in-law is a cunt, and food is fucking amazing.

They See Me Trollin'

I understand that stupid people and assholes can be amusing to watch. The commentary on their behavior can provide us with hours of laughs when filtered through the right comedic source. But we need to stop it. I know, its a hell of a sacrifice but it's important.

One of the prime examples of why this is so critical is Donald Trump. I can't speak to his intelligence, but Trump is an epic level asshole. Not just an asshole, a Troll; even if he 100% believes all the horrid shit he says, part of why he says it is to get attention. And of course we give it to him, because its horrid, so everyone feels better. Either from denouncing him and taking a moral high ground or parroting him and enjoying the second hand attention and participation in a group. I am admittedly simplifying the social dynamics here but regardless of depth, nothing good comes from encouraging these people.

This is, however, another instance where if we want to do it right we need to clarify our language. A Troll is someone who starts unnecessary shit to get attention, they are reductive, insulting and actively incendiary. They are not people who disagree with the prevailing beliefs in a discussion. Its an important distinction to make, and its very fucking difficult to make it. People like to be right, more than almost anything else, so the urge to label people who disagree with you as trolls is pretty damn strong, but I believe in you or whatever. Be a grown up, further the discussion. If the people you're talking to aren't furthering the discussion either call them on it and try to move on or go talk to someone else. Either way, we need to stop validating shitty people.

Teaching The Controversy

So there is a group of heathens calling themselves "scientists" who claim that the world wasn't created by some all powerful super-being, but was instead the result of matter just forming together in ways that physical laws dictated that they would. These "scientists" also refuse to teach anything other than their ridiculous, closed-minded science. Its just based on generations of "accumulated evidence" and "rationally explains the perceivable universe". What do they know, with their silly, self-consistent, observable phenomena. Even though there are other scientists (probably real ones!) who can show that the world was indeed created as it is now by an intelligent designer. What about teaching intelligent design? Shouldn't you teach the only other side of the argument?

Ugh...OK, that was bad and I am sorry. I feel dirty even saying all of that sarcastically. Incidentally I agree with one point the people who advocate for "teaching the controversy". If you don't want to leave out any "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the world you should teach kids about it. Where I differ though is in my feelings towards this is that I think that if you are going to say "hey, science might be wrong!" then you need to give equal time to EVERY other option out there. Especially when they are more badass than, while also being just as plausible as, yours. Don't agree? Does your god kill shit tons of frost giants in a bloody, multi-dimensional hammer war? No. The Christian creation myth is so boring! Magical Sky Daddy spends a most of a week making toys, then takes a nap. My favorite part was when he took a nap!

And so with that in mind I offer the following:

Teaching The Controversy Part One of Many: The Aztecs!

Most of you readers will know, or think you know, something about the Aztecs. You will probably know that they lived in Mexico prior to the Spanish invasion. You will also probably know them from their enthusiastic appreciation for ritual sacrifice. The origin myth actually explains why this was such a big deal for them. As with most mythology we have many different versions of the myth. Between an almost exclusively oral history, a violent takeover of the continent, and the nasty habit of playing literary analysis with mythology a lot of the information wasn't well kept and what we have today probably differs from the traditional source material. This also means that if I say something that contradicts what you have heard it might be that I read a different version of the myth. I am also just going to be hitting the high points, as I would need to write a book to do these myths justice. So if you want to learn more about the myth/even more about the context behind it, I suggest this.

In the beginning there was nothing except the void. After a while, getting bored of nothingness, a god created itself, Ometecuhtli(male) or Omecihuatl(female). This one being hermaphroditic god-party  represented duality. It was order and chaos, good and evil, light and dark, male and female. This god made sweet love to itself and produced four more gods, each representing a cardinal direction and certain aspects of reality. The god of the West was Tezcatlipoca (sometimes referred to as representing North), who represents judgement, night, deceit, sorcery, and earth. East was Quetzalcoatl(sometimes he is referred to as West instead), who represented light, mercy, and the wind. South was Huitzilpochtli the god who represented war. North was Xipe Toltec (sometimes referred to as representing the East) who ruled over agriculture, vegetation, disease, spring, the making of jewelry, and cutting off people's skin and wearing it about town.

These four began to create a ton more stuff. Water, more gods, and a sea monster named Cipactli. Cipactli was cool because it was a giant (as big as the entire world as it is now) crocodile/fish monster that had mouths at all of its joints and ate everything that went into the water. This behavior introduced a problem to the gods. Everything that they created would fall into the water and be insta-gibbed by the giant sea monster they had created. The solution to this conundrum was simple. Kill Cipactli and turn its corpse into the land. Cipactli's head was turned into the 13 layers of heaven, its body became the earth, and its tail became the 9 layers of hell. During this fight one of the gods, Tezcatlipoca, lost his leg.

So now that the gods could create stuff that would remain uneaten, they went to town. At this point they needed to create a source of energy for the world. This would end up being the sun. Unfortunately an object like the sun was beyond their powers of creation, because, unlike some gods I could mention, the Aztec deities knew when to stop showing off. The unfortunate solution to this was that one of the gods would need to sacrifice themselves to do this. They ended up picking Tezcatlipoca to become the sun, which he did. Unfortunately his sun was only half a sun, either because he had lost his leg, and as such was incomplete, or because he was the god of the night. At this point the first humans were created from ash and were all giants. The gods provided these humans with acorns to eat. Then all hell broke loose when Quetzalcoatl got all jelly that Tezcatlipoca got to be the sun and beat him out of the sky with a club. A now very angry Tazcatlipoca commanded his bad-ass jaguar army to kill all of the humans. Thus ending the first sun.

Quetzalcoatl decided that he would be the second sun and he and the other gods made more humans (this time humans where a more normal size and ate pinon or pine nuts) prior to him becoming the sun. The second generation of humans became lax in their duties and stopped worshiping the gods. In retribution for this slight, Tezcatlipoca (whose domains included sorcery and judgement) turned all of humanity into monkeys. Quetzalcoatl, who was a fan of humans but apparently had an unrelenting monkey-hate, got angry and blew all of the monkeys away with a hurricane after which he stepped down as sun to make more people.

The next god to volunteer as a sun was Tlaloc, the god of the rain and water. While he was being the sun, Tezcatlipoca stole Tlaloc's wife, Xochiquetzal who was the goddess of sex, flowers, and corn. In his grief at this situation Tlaloc refused to send rain to the humans. After a long period of draught, the humans begged and begged for rain. In anger, Tlaloc sent a rain of fire to earth, burning it to ashes. The gods then reconstructed the earth from these ashes. Another version of the third sun has the world burning to ash thanks to a another major fight between Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca.

Tlaloc's sister (or second wife depending on the version), Chalchiuhtlicue, became the next version of the sun. She was apparently very kind to the people. Once again jealousy caused other gods (you will never guess who) to want her to not be the sun. Sources differ on what happens next, but either Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca beat her out of the sky with clubs, at which point either the sky opens and floods the earth, killing all of humanity; or Tezcatlipoca tells the people that she is only being kind to get their praise, and she was so hurt by this accusation that she wept blood for 52 years, flooding the earth and killing everyone.

Before the next sun could be made, Quetzalcoatl made his way to the underworld to get all of the human bones there in order to remake humanity. Before he went he was warned that Mictlantecuhtli, the god of the underworld. was never to be trusted. So, after Quetzalcoatl got the bones, he ran away with them as fast as possible, as to limit the time he was in the underworld. As he ran he tripped and broke all of the bones (which is why humans today are of varying sizes) but managed to recover all of the, now shattered, bones. Quetzalcoatl and the other gods put the bones in a depression and poured their own blood over them, causing humans to crawl out of the bloody pool 4 days later. at which point the fifth sun, our current sun, had been made.

There are two stories in which the fifth sun came to be. In the first, two gods offer themselves up as the sun. The first, Tecuciztecatl, is a proud and rich god who chickens out at the last minute. Nanahuatzin, who is depicted as frail and sickly, decides that he will do it instead and turns into the sun. Tecuciztecatl, shamed by this also turns into the sun. The earth is to hot with two suns so the other gods take a rabbit and throw it over the face of Tecuciztecatl dimming him and turning him into the moon. Since Nanahuatzin is weak the other gods give their blood to him to keep him in motion and thus ensure that the earth will survive. To make up for this deficit humans need to give blood back. Some gods like full human sacrifice while others, like Quetzalcoatl, prefer bloodletting as it doesn't kill the donor.

The second version of this is that the fifth sun is Huitzilpochtli. Omecihuatl (the dual god/goddess) had more children, who became the stars. These children were jealous of Huitzilpochitli and they wage a constant war with Huitzilpochtli. This constant struggle is the day and night, with daybreak meaning that Huitzilpochtli is winning, and nightfall is when the stars (the Tzizimitl led by the goddess of the moon, Coyolxauhqui) are winning. This war is aided by blood being sacrificed to Huitzilpochtli and the other gods and goddesses (though the reasons for sacrificing for the other gods are varied).

You may have noticed a pretty significant life/death/rebirth pattern in there. That cycle is a huge part of Aztec mythology and played a major role in their culture. It's interesting and awesome, once again you should definitely look up more information.

So there's the long and (not so) short of it; the origin of earth and humanity according to the Aztecs. I hoped you enjoyed this as much as I did. I will continue this in the future since my hands are dead now from all the typing.

Sources: Here, here, and here