Home Again, Home Again

Holy shit, I'm home! Its been a long and joyful two weeks out and about in the universe but its always good to return to one's own bed. My ladywife and I spent a lesurely two weeks in Prague, punctuated by an all too short weekend in Amsterdam. Of course, for me the rest of my ridiculously charmed life would be too short a stay in Amsterdam, so I'll take what I can get quite gladly. Prague is a beautiful city, with gorgeous architecture and amazing food... that for some reason never really clicked with me. No one's fault, no hard feelings, just couldn't quite find my stride there. That said, if the opportunity arises, definitely go. Seriously, the food is incredible and the cost of living is downright comfortable. The people are a little... brusque, but people suck all over (though they seem to suck a good bit less in Amsterdam) and they seem to lighten up after a couple of the readily available and fantastic beers.

I do feel the need to make a serious comment, however. I spent a prodigious amount of time going from airport to airport this trip, 10 flights in two weeks, and I never felt less safe than when I was returning to this country. We laidover or stayed in half a dozen countries and, with the exception of my own, the border process was streamlined, respectful and complete. Get scanned, confirm your identity, carry on. However, on every occasion upon entering the U.S. the world became a very hostile place. A conspicuous proliferation of armed guards (a disconcerting number of whom had assault rifles), poorly trained K-9 units jumping and snapping at frightened civilians while their handlers laughed. State mandated molestation and intimidation. I couldn't help but feel ashamed at what we've let them do to us under the auspices of guaranteeing safety they do not provide. I really don't want to be preachy about it, but it was a viscerally disturbing experience and I hope one that goes quickly in to the annals of the history of abandoned ideas. Everybody travel safe out there.

Witness Me!

So in an event unrelated to our normal cinemehtic experience, Brian and I watched Mad Max: Fury Road. I fucking love that movie. Don't get me wrong; Fury Road isn't in any way a cerebral film, but it is completely comfortable with that. Every shot, every costume, every line is designed to evoke the greatest amount of joyous badassitude in the audience.

I was nervous going into it, because the glut of nostalgia-exploitation is largely shameful and entirely disappointing, and too often "fun" action movies are just fucking meat-skulled, narcissistic masturbation. I was wrong, and I apologize. The primary antagonists are trying to be the bastard children of the psychos from Borderlands and straight up fucking vikings. They have a skald who's whole job is to hang from the front of a giant mobile stage and play sweet-ass riffs on his flamethrower/guitar, and its glorious. I have a warm and happy place in my heart for things that manage to pull off just being what they are. Pretension is too easy and "self-aware" becomes ham-fisted at great speed. So something like Fury Road that knows what it is and delivers precisely what it promises, is a light in the darkness. Watch this movie and let us know if you can think of any other things that are just perfectly honest about what they are, we don't get enough of that kind of thing.

Any Game in Which You can Be Headbutted By A Giant Cthulhian Angel Is Fine By Me

Longtime readers will know that Eshi and I enjoy video games, and lately there has been one game that has been getting a lot of attention from me: Bloodborne. For those of you who don't know, Bloodborne is a game made by From Software, the guys who made Demon Souls and Dark Souls.

The premise is very similar: monsters are vicious and can kill you quick, but by killing them, you get exp (called echos) to level up your character. Bloodborne is slightly easier than its predecessors (the game's director didn't want a game that was only for "hardcore" gamers) but remains a fun and difficult game. I love the lovecraftian vibe throughout the game since the art is inspired by Bram Stoker and Lovecraft in general and it really excels at creating that kind of atmosphere.

Bloodborne also does a few things that I wish other games would do as well. I don't mean that all games should be Bloodborne, that would be terrible, but they could learn something from the way it presents itself. Bloodborne doesn't really hold the players hand at all, it is up to the player to piece together a story and learn how to play. There is a path you can take through the game, but it isn't always completely obvious where to go, so you get to explore, which is nice. Also you can miss huge sections of the game if you don't explore. Out of like 17 bosses only 7 are required.

There are a few cutscenes but they are light on actual exposition. I am not complaining though, I liked having to figure out the mysterious situation my character was thrown in. As a nerd, I love reading into things deeply. Also, there is no real tutorial. When you start the game you are in a fistfight with a big, fuck-off werewolf what wants to eat your face. After being eviscerated the player is transported to a place called "the hunter's dream" where you get two weapons and can read messages that tell you how to play the game. The thing is, you don't have to read them, you can just get the weapons and go straight back to the respawn point like I did my first time through. The game Dragon's Dogma (which we also really liked) did something similar. You are told about the world, and you get a tutorial where you play as a person who was in the same position as you in the past, but then doesn't tell you how to progress the main story, it leaves the exploration up to you. That kind of thing is great.

I love exploring games and finding all the little secrets and story chunks, it's great. That's not to say that linear stories are bad, they are just ubiquitous. Games today have a tendency to assume that the people playing the game have no idea what its all about and try to coddle the player. This seems like a good idea when games are trying to cast as wide a net as possible by making it playable for every person who picks it up, but making that a standard alienates a lot of people who already play games (the bulk of the market). By making a game that makes players explore and learn from experience From made something that melds with subtle storytelling very well and leaves the player wanting more. Speaking of which, I am going to go play more now. =p

Thank You Jeremy

Just this today. Brian and I talk about this shit... just entirely too much. We're creatives at heart, and this is a topic that we grind on even more at home then we do on here. I've had this exact argument in various states with varying degrees of success and I wish with all of my heart that I had ever managed the clarity and passion Jeremy brings to this rant. We here at Kinda Whatevs are once again in your debt sir. Now if you'll excuse me I need to see if I'll ever finish my shitty little story.

YKWFA: The Passage of Time

So apparently today is the first day of 2015. I will admit, 2014 kinda got away from me, what with all the rage and depression and all the goddamn bees. Just... so many bees.

Anyway, there are a few things (other than listening to unpopular music and slowly turning into the horrible old man that is my birthright) that pleased me about this last year. First, after much rigamarole and absurd bullshit, my home state decided to make marijuana at least theoretically available for recreational use. Now don't get me wrong, the way they went about it was childish and insulting and ineffectual to a spectacular degree, but it happened. So now a lot of people who want to utilize their minds for something more pleasurable than trying to contribute to the inevitable heat death of the universe with their hate (like me) have a non-lobotomy option.

Also, both Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Zero Theorem were things. Since Andy Serkis is some kind of hero sent from the future to make the present not suck so bad and Terry Gilliam is a Companion of the One True God Returned, these are both things that deserve positive consideration. Christoph Waltz, Nick Offerman, and Alan Tudyk also exist and this is a wonderful thing. Actually, cinema wasn't particularly hopeless in general this year. For the most part. Some stuff was pretty fucking good.

The last thing that really made this last year was the fact that I have a wife. Now I've had a wife for a while now, but having her around goes leagues towards to making life bearable. I'm sure that sounds cheesy and pandering, but if you have an SO and you don't feel that way about them you probably shouldn't be doing that. Having a significant other I mean.

There was a great deal of fuck-that last year, lets all try and get past that this year and actually be people with each other. Good luck out there.

Seasonal Disa-fuckthis Disorder

I loathe people this time of year. Its not entirely a christmas thing or a holiday thing, or even a rabid consumerism thing, though my issue is related. I hate people in the winter because american culture apparently demands that, what is for me, the most beautiful, comfortable, and peaceful time of year has to be fucking terrible.

Between the narcissistic, masturbatory rage of the evangelicals bitching about how their monopoly on a season is slipping, to the tragic slide of joyous celebrations into vile obligations as progressively more distant and abusive families bludgeon each other with politics and forced proximity, society fails this season completely.

Additionally, this season means enough cooking to rival the feast of Tantalus, and though I love to cook, it means that I have neither the patience nor the inclination to write more on this subject than this. So I'll just say that if its cold outside and you're an asshole, fuck you. Viciously. With the pointiest, most horrific, seasonally appropriate prop you can find.

Dragons are Great and All, But Dungeons?

I've talked a bit about pen and paper gaming in previous posts, how ridiculously awesome it is, how disappointed I tend to be with newer systems. I think its about time to actually discuss how I run a game.

I've been told I'm a strange creature as far as GM's go; I'll let my players do damn near anything that doesn't kill immersion or outright violate the laws of common sense, I tend to build my worlds from whole cloth instead of utilizing existing settings, and I don't give my players a storyline. That last one seems to be the most unusual from what I've heard. I run my games open world, there are things happening, monsters to slay, maidens to rescue, machinations of the foulest sorts guiding forces of various descriptions, but I leave it largely to my players to explore the world I've created. Its not that I don't want to tell a story, its that there is more to a world, and therefore a game, than any one series of loosely connected quest lines. I run my games open because that's how the world is, your growth is determined by your conviction, your path is shaped by your interests. Sure, another story about a sinister lich/cleric/warlord/ruler trying to conquer/destroy/enslave the world can be a lot of fun, but there's more going on than that. What happens if you misjudge where your party is at mentally? What happens if the story you set up doesn't have the punch you thought it would?

By setting up a world, with individual characters, with factions interacting and forces influencing events on various scales, some of which directly effect the party, some of which will have effects later, some who'll never directly influence the party at all, I can create a world where something will always be happening. I can run a game that isn't done until we want to be done. And by letting players flex their creative muscles and bend rules that don't make sense or justify actions that fall beyond the normal scope of the game, they can shape the world in new and interesting ways, creating their own story lines and dealing with unforeseen consequences.

I love to run a living world because it forces me to be creative and active on a much higher level and it lets my players decide not only what stories they want to tell, but how far they want to pursue them. It's hard, admittedly; you either have to be able to work with a shit-ton of world level events simultaneously or improvise at blinding speed, but its incredibly rewarding if you can pull it off.

YKWFA: The Least Violent Way to a Man's Heart.

Not long enough ago and not far enough away my wife and I lived with her mother. Now I love my wife spectacularly. Seriously, its crazy. But she and I agree that her mother is a vile, shit-souled, solipsistic, thunder-cunt. I know, I know, this is supposed to be about something fucking awesome, not the subhuman bilge waste that spawned my lovely wife; but it follows, I promise. When she wasn't manipulating my wife or insulting me she was a terrible food snob, not in that she was overly fussy about what she ate (though she did insist that her cats ate organic gourmet lobster cat food), but in that she was bad at being a food snob. So bad in fact that it inspired me.

I once heard this woman utter the phrase "Oh, I don't really care, food is really just fuel." on the 45 minute drive to the organic farmer she bought milk and eggs from. That stopped me pretty much dead. Her hypocrisy boggled my mind, but more than that I was inspired by how wrong she was. I'm a tubby fucker, so I've always had a complex relationship to food (that link rambles a bit and is a bit nsfw but I love Ed Byrne and he makes my point well... eventually). She pushed me over the edge. After that point I loved food, no question, no hesitation. Food is fucking awesome. See, I told you we'd get there.

First, let me say, "food is fuel" is an accurate statement; "food is just fuel" is super fucking not. Food is a massively complex amalgamation of social/cultural/ethnic/religious standards and compromises layered over geological/climatic/biological limitations wrapped in what is both one of the most complex, and the most accessible, sciences and sprinkled liberally with the ecstatic neuro-biological phenomenon of flavor.

Anthropologically, food is almost frighteningly important. The production of food stuffs, the security of food resources, the social systems that arise surrounding going from seed to stomach are all fascinating, interdependent structures that are incredibly enlightening. Not to mention the wondrous cultural gestalt that happens when people from different food-cultures share food with each other. Food can tell us about people, describe ancient environments and technologies, and lubricate peace between cultures. It also has an anthropological "dark side". If you don't believe me go to Philadelphia and mention cheesesteak, hell just saying the word "baklava" in certain company can start fights.

Beyond anthropology there are advanced and novel chemical processes involved in cooking at every juncture. The process of turning light and dirt into energy and passing that energy up the food chain, the way different additions and catalysts (some in terribly minute quantities) can change the flavor, content and structure of a dish, down to the way the body processes different nutrients in different preparations.  Have no desire to hunt links for every other word in this post, though I could, so here's a starter link, study up. Also, food is mighty tasty.

I could go on about this for days, the science and culture of food is one of the most beautiful, nuanced aspects of day to day life. Whether or not people think about it, what and how we eat plays a massive role in our lives top to bottom. If you take anything away from this post, let it be this; my mother-in-law is a cunt, and food is fucking amazing.

You will Laugh and You Will Play and You Will Like it

There is a side effect of nihilism that bugs the hell out of me. I've mentioned my love for nihilism before but it needs to be known that its not a relationship composed solely of orgasms and cupcakes. The problem lies with the fact that existential prioritization is often difficult to maintain without some universal source of value. Since this issue tends to be such a bug fucker too me I have determined a solution. Happiness. In a universe without intrinsic values, happiness ought to be the clearest priority. It seems obvious but the maximization of pleasure and the minimization of pain is something that a lot of people have a problem with.

Its important to note that I'm not talking about utilitarianism, I'm not going into ethics. I'm not concerned, in this instance, with optimizing groups. I'm also not speaking from a objectivist perspective. Mostly because I'm an adult and I understand that I exist within a system and that other people are actually people. I am speaking to the social-subjective, the self within the system. In a nihilistic world, prioritizing your own happiness is the rational option. The primary arguments against this idea tends to land either on the point that some people find happiness in hurting others or as a misplaced attack on objectivism.

My response to the objectivist association bears an unfortunate similarity to the new age adage "an it harm none, do what thou wilt". My little philosophic solution does come with the caveat that you didn't fail the bit of kindergarten where they teach you that hurting other people is fucked up. Subjective joy isn't a resource limited in the subjective joy of others, and if it is for you... just work your shit out man. There might not be any intrinsic value to life, but being an  anti-social dickhead is a shit way to go about it. This is not a belief shared by objectivism.

In response to the other argument, i.e. some people take pleasure in hurting others, against this maxim my answer is two prong. Yes, and so what. Some people are fucked up. There are consequences in place for people being fucked up. There are people in the world who take joy in being the people who stop fucked up shit. Don't limit everyone's options because a few people can't handle their shit.

But, I digress. If there is not essential meaning to your life then there is no reason to not be happy. Any pain is then either unavoidable or optional. If pain is either unavoidable or optional and your happiness doesn't violate some eternal mandate then seeking to feel good while avoiding feeling bad is just common sense. There isn't really anything else to say about it, its fucking simple, and the fact that it isn't a more apparent solution kinda boggles me.