Some People Just Can't Handle Their Semen

I'm kinda tired of the way people treat the idea of child birth. Parenthood in general, really. I appreciate that some people need to breed, carry on the species or whatever. But, its a hugely preventable fucking nuisance. If you want kids, fine have kids. Have kids that you're financially, emotionally, and biologically prepared to have. If you don't meet those criteria there are plenty of ways to avoid being host to a vicious parasite that will someday turn into a person that your unready ass probably fucked up. I'm not saying the unprepared or unwilling can't cobble together a reasonable facsimile of a person, hell I manage to walk on two legs and use full sentences most of the time and my parents were seventeen and surprised. But its mighty fucking difficult to create a life that isn't broken, even without starting at a deficit.

Children are not a blessing, they are an enormous burden with the potential for a high emotional payout. Having a child isn't just the (still preventable) consequence of an action; its inflicting the consequences of that action on the whole fucking world until entropy takes its course and someone has a tragedy. If you did well, and got lucky, that child will probably at least not make anyone really unhappy, they might even make some people happy. But if you fuck them up, if the wrong kind of accident happens, if you don't have your shit together, or fuck forbid you get unlucky, chances are that every life the life you created touches will be hurt. Fucking up a kid doesn't just fuck up the kid, every shitty kid makes the world a worse place and every shitty parent is responsible for it. Not just the evil ones, the abusers and neglectful. The smug cunts that show their children that its okay to be an entitled piece of shit, the emotionally distant workaholics, the passive-aggressive shitfuck who tries to live vicariously through their six year old. They make fucked up people, and those people fuck up other people.

We have to stop treating the creation of a fucking life like its just a thing that happens and isn't one of the most complex, daunting, and far reaching (wholly fucking optional) tasks a person can possibly undertake in their life. We need to stop just letting shitty people inflict their shitty kids on the rest of us and then acting like it was unavoidable, and parents need to stop acting like its their right to inflict their shitty kids on us because they can't manage their ejaculate responsibly.

All Hail Our New Cthulian Overlord!

I want to write about something positive today. Not because the world has gone to shit or anything (though I could definitely see where people would get that idea), but because I have been feeling down and there are some things that really made me feel better about the world. One of the things that has made me feel happy is this.

Image Source: Monterey Bay Aquarium

Look at that majestic little fucker. He is so goddamned cute. For those of you with an aversion to clicking links, that is an abyssal octopod that has been found recently. The best part about it is that the scientists who found it want to name it Opisthoteuthis Adorabilis. That is the best thing I have seen in a long time. There are problems with it of course, mostly that Adorabilis is used in a bunch of other species as well, all of which are not octopuses. Cephalopods are my favorite animals, and this just adds to that.

Considering how out of date our way of classifying life is, I don't know if naming this little fella something so apt would be a bad thing. Regardless, look at that little guy. I hope it made your day a little better.