Weekly Cinemeh

Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh! This week's theme was sci-fi/things where they do not belong. In this case dinosaurs, alternate realities, and shitty CGI.

1: Jurassic Park
I loved this movie when I was a kid (in 1993 I was 7), because really what kid wasn't in love with dinosaurs at least a little bit. It is a movie about a theme park owner who wants some scientists to sign off on his newest theme park, where he has genetically resurrected dinosaurs wandering around in pens. A tropical storm plus sabotage leads to some violent dinosaur antics, it's great. I was a little more into it than other kids (I wanted to be a paleontologist for as far back as I can remember) and this movie just added to that. It also started my love of Michael Crichton's fiction. The movie still holds up pretty well, the practical effects are fantastic. The biggest disappointment to me isn't really it's fault. CGI has come super far since then so when you go back to a movie that is using CGI for the first time it's kind of shocking to see the difference. The acting is also a little off, though I loved Jeff Goldblum. Its a fun movie, with some great dinosaur action and some pretty good use of practical effects. Watch it.

Eshi: We got to talking about how nervous we are for Jurassic World and it inspired us to watch the only good film in the series. Jurassic Park is fun, well cast, and the practical effects were revolutionary. Seriously, you haven't seen this yet you are bad at movies. It's like five bucks to rent, so... uhhh. Find a way.

2: A Sound of Thunder
I love Ray Bradbury's work, though I have never read this story, but this movie was terrible. The story is about a time travel safari company who fuck up and ruin earth, because time travel is a fucking bad idea. The green screen and CGI are so horrid, it was offensive. I have a feeling that they spent all of their money getting Ben Kingsly and just used whatever was left (not a lot) and patched together cheapo effects with no real effort. The acting was also very bad. Multiple characters die in front of the main character and he doesn't react at all. His friend from childhood gets eaten in front of him and he doesn't bat a fucking eye. This movie is bad, straight up. Watch Jurassic Park instead.

Eshi: I suggested this one and I was wrong. I feel bad about it. Do not waste your fucking time. This movie was a ham-fisted, cliche, and the actors spent so much time alternately chewing the scenery and staring dead-eyed at each other that I can't help but feel that whatever money they didn't spend apologizing to Ben Kingsly was blown on cheap drugs. It would have been cheaper to just go to Bradbury's house and shit in his mouth.

3: The One
This is another movie that I saw when I was younger, though its not as old as Jurassic Park. Its a movie about a killer that is jumping around alternate realities and killing other versions of himself so that he can become stronger by their energy being redistributed to their alternate selves or whatever. Unfortunately, his last victim is just as strong as he is, and the two fight for supremacy to become "the one" version of themself? Himself? Himselves? The movie kind of holds up, the action scenes are fun, but it was nowhere as good as I remember it being when I was a youth. The music seems out of place. I get that they are trying to be hardcore and reach out to the young people, but I don't think that Let The Bodies Hit The Floor and kung fu really mesh well together. The CGI is also a little bad in this movie. All in all a bad week for CGI.

Eshi: I like The One, mostly because I love to watch Jet Li hit things, and this movie is a whole lot of Jet Li hitting shit. He kicks the shit out of a couple cops with their own motorcycles. The premise is kinda laughable and the way they go about trying to describe all their hand-waving unscience is almost threatening. Like they're daring you to call them on how absurd it is. The whole story seems kind like someone had two ideas for a pen and paper game and was like, "Fuck it, I'll just make a movie". That said, I enjoy The One, have a couple drinks and give it a shot.