The Fats of Life

So, I feel the need to clarify an argument I've been seeing a great deal of lately. I'm referring to the whole "obesity" discussion. There has been quite a fucking row going on for a decade or so now to determine whether or not to really accept fat people into mainstream culture. This has led to heated debates about the health of the fat "lifestyle", the public impact of fattitude, so forth and so on ad nauseam. It seems to me this is a false premise. Its none of your fucking business.

I will admit outright, I'm a tubby fucker. I'm not proud of it, I'm not really ashamed of it these days, its just how shit is. This is the case for numerous reasons; I enjoy the social, cultural, chemical, and Epicurean components and impacts of food. Cooking is not just pretty much the only thing I've been meaningfully praised for, its associated with pretty much every positive experience in my life. My wife and I started falling in love over meals that I cooked. The first time, and nearly every other time, I can remember my father praising me was for my work in the kitchen. And frankly I'd much rather die at 40 with a bellyful of delicious food shared with loved ones than at 90 having been fed through a tube in my nose for a month or two. I've seen people die of old age, its fucking horrifying. Give me half an hour and a heart attack over six months of prolonged brain death any fucking day. All of those things are grand for me, and that's it. For me. It doesn't fucking involve you.

On the health argument, yes being fat is unhealthy. But its not fucking contagious, me being fat isn't going to give you diabetes. So fuck you; its my meatpuppet, I'll pull the fucking strings. I've heard the whole, "oh, but all the health insurance costs" bullshit and it is just that. Bullshit. If your argument is that all the other people being fat is making your insurance cost more, that's a problem with the whole insurance/health industry more than it is with people being fat, capitalism has a nasty effect on basic shit like healthcare. If you feel as though that structural failing gives you a right to make other people's bodies into a public health issue, you are incorrect. If christian scientists spat the kind of vitriol at cancer patients that the militant "healthy" people do at fat people we'd label them monsters and feel better about ourselves for being better than them. Now, the scale is different but the base argument is the same, "you have a condition that may or may not have been preventable, that I do not fully understand, and I am going oppress you because I feel it is easily remedied."

On the aesthetic, this is simple, if you don't think fat people are attractive do not fuck them. That's fine, no one would give you shit for not wanting to put your mouth on some crispy hobo junk. Just don't be a dick because you find them unsexy. Because if their worth to you is solely determined on your willingness to put your parts on theirs you are a piece of shit. In the same way that anyone who abuses others to feel better is a piece of shit. If a fat person gives you shit for politely not wanting to fuck them, well that person sucks, good for you not fucking that shithead. But that's it.

I find that one of the biggest groups (no pun intended) of people who grumble about how much fat people suck are people who at least claim to have previously been fat. I put it that way because so much of this discussion happens in the Tubes and personal claims are only limited by character limits online. There's a great deal of talk about prioritizing your health from these people, but what if I don't? I know that some day I will die and that, realistically, my ability to extend that date is modified by too many random factors for me to reliably manipulate. So rather than prioritize health I prioritize bringing joy to my life and the lives around me. I know, I'm such a fat, worthless, piece of shit right?

As far as anyone knows for sure we only get the one go around here, and its pretty fucking shitty to try and deny someone what makes them happy just because you can. Everything in life has consequences, positive and negative. Might as well admit that bad shit could happen and just try to enjoy the ride.

Decay Management

I have weird feelings about the concept of health. Don't get me wrong, not dieing is grand, I spend most of my time doing it, but there is a difference between wanting to lead a full life and frantically trying to avoid the looming spectre of entropy that shall lead us all one day into the Void. I'm not talking about the people who work out a couple of times a week, or jog to keep healthy and clear their head. I'm talking about the people who make "fitness" part of their identity, the people who try to keep up with what ever is passing for a healthy diet that day, people who seem to judge others for their prospective lifespan.

No one wins at life, not really. You might do well in a societal sense; monetary success, social standing, strong community presence, and those things are as good as any accomplishment. Then you die. We all die eventually, and other than the highly contextual impact on humankind in general and the very rare and probably temporary effect on the physical world we leave nothing behind except what we've done to those around us. This is a good thing, whether we want to admit it or not. At the very least our society wouldn't ever be able to hold up to the constant onslaught of "meaningful" lives. If everyone left a lasting imprint in society, or humanity, or nature we would be buried either in constant (probably conflicting) revolutionary changes or the ceaseless torrent of somehow crucial banality of billions of quiet lives slowly crushing the collective human soul with the sheer weight of its loss.

Some people forget this, or at least never really consider it. They fear carcinogens, they avoid "unhealthy" foods based on faddish buzzwords and misunderstood science. They shame and dehumanize people based on what they consider to be unhealthy. We've seen it happen to fat people, smokers, people who drink. Smokers I almost understand, second hand smoke can be pretty fucked up, its inflicting your vice on others which is not alright. Here's a list of things in second hand smoke, and here's what is in car exhaust, oh and here are some of the effects of being in the sun. No one gets out alive, really, most of us leave this place afraid and alone. When you face down that fact does it really matter to you how someone else gets through it as long as they aren't trying to hurt anyone else? It's all poison; some of it, like food, is poison that can keep you alive until it kills you. Some of it, like alcohol, is poison that can kill you faster, but might make all of the ridiculous bullshit we put each other through everyday a little easier to bear. We spend our entire lives walking into our graves so giving people shit for trying to enjoy the funeral march is pretty fucking low. Being healthy is great and all, but nothing gives you the right to be a dick.

Memento Mori

Death is a strange thing. Most people fear it, many obsess over it, some fight it, a few embrace it, but it comes for everyone. I think at some point everyone considers what they want to do with their life, what, if anything, they want to leave behind. That's interesting to me.

A friend recently expressed concern for my health. Now, I have a preference for a well measured vice and an aversion to unnecessary discomfort, so her concern was understandable. That's not to say that I'm some Baron Harkonnen impersonator; raping slaveboys and wheezing while cultivating my own disgust, I'm just not as fit as I could possibly be. It occurred to me that, other than a pervasive rage and a severe, genetic chemical imbalance, I live pretty damn well; so her concern for my health probably wasn't a quality of life concern. It was a seeming concern that my fat/sassyness would result in an untimely and appropriate end. Which was a sentiment I found to be more than a little presumptuous as she seemed to be placing my potential longevity over my enjoyment of my existence. Its not the first time I've faced down this specific existential quandary, but it never gets any less troublesome.

There are two reasons to favor longevity. The first is a fear of death, which while understandable from a "fear of the unknown" perspective, is ridiculous in pretty much all other areas. The second is a desire to leave your mark on the world, which has always been an issue for me. For one, I'm a cynical, frustrated, rage-aholic, there is no mark I could leave on the world that would be good for anyone, myself included. Second, Ozymandias. Not only are the endeavors of your life transient, even if they do survive time will change them far beyond your intents, usually in ways that would lead you to despair. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to make the world better, I'm saying that the greater your success the less it will matter in the long run. Not even accounting for the fact that actually setting out to change the world is a motivation of such colossal hubris that I can't believe that the mind behind it would accomplish anything good.

Death is the great equalizer, it comes for us all. I find that beautiful. Before it comes for me I would rather know that I sought joy for myself and the people I care about rather than spend my life seeking Pyrrhic victories and trying to fend off the inevitable. Life is the longest thing that you will ever be involved in, and I don't see the point in wasting it in toil.