So in an event unrelated to our normal cinemehtic experience, Brian and I watched Mad Max: Fury Road. I fucking love that movie. Don't get me wrong; Fury Road isn't in any way a cerebral film, but it is completely comfortable with that. Every shot, every costume, every line is designed to evoke the greatest amount of joyous badassitude in the audience.
I was nervous going into it, because the glut of nostalgia-exploitation is largely shameful and entirely disappointing, and too often "fun" action movies are just fucking meat-skulled, narcissistic masturbation. I was wrong, and I apologize. The primary antagonists are trying to be the bastard children of the psychos from Borderlands and straight up fucking vikings. They have a skald who's whole job is to hang from the front of a giant mobile stage and play sweet-ass riffs on his flamethrower/guitar, and its glorious. I have a warm and happy place in my heart for things that manage to pull off just being what they are. Pretension is too easy and "self-aware" becomes ham-fisted at great speed. So something like Fury Road that knows what it is and delivers precisely what it promises, is a light in the darkness. Watch this movie and let us know if you can think of any other things that are just perfectly honest about what they are, we don't get enough of that kind of thing.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Friday, September 18, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh, this week our theme was horror movies. Both of us here love to watch horror, so this week was good. We have talked about how the bulk of horror movies are done poorly so this week we found three horror movies that had some good reviews from horror movie websites. It was a (mostly) good week so without further ado: to the list!
1: You're Next
I heard murmurs about this movie when it was released but never actually saw it. This, I believe, was a grave mistake. This movie takes the classic formula of psychos try to butcher a family in a house in the woods and adds a character that fights back realistically. The character is a former survivalist, so they have the skills to fight back. They basically play a horror movie audience surrogate. You know when you watch a movie and you always get mad at somebody for doing something? How you wish that they would just stab the bad guys? This is that in movie form. Its great. That being said, I have never seen a group of people more detestable. I think they made the family fucked up so you wouldn't feel as bad when they get butchered, but still. The acting was good, which is odd for most horror movies these days, but very nice to see. The movie is great at building tension because the hero is skilled but not invincible, so you are never sure if they will live through a scene. This a good twist on a trope, and any fan of horror will enjoy it.
Eshi: I've gone back and forth on whether I wanted to watch this one for a while. I feel bad about my hesitation. You're Next makes me giddy. Its not particularly scary, leaning on the gore as many tales of human evil do, but where scary comes up short brutality surpasses expectation. Most of the violence is pretty realistic and equally casual and upsetting. The protagonist kicks heaps of ass whilst getting agonizingly punished by both the intruders and to a lesser extent the universe. You're Next was fucking joyous to me, and you can save your judgement for after you've seen it.
2: Here Comes The Devil
This movie is kinda bad, but also kinda good. Its a Mexican film about a family in Tijuana who go on an outing. The family's two kids climb a mountain and get possessed while the parents fondle each others parts while talking about their first (fucking creepy) sexual experiences. The kids go missing and after they are found the family goes home and the possession movie fun begins. There are some odd tonal shifts in this movie. It alternates between softcore porn and horror a little too often. I get why people put tits in horror movies, but this movie goes out of its way to do so, and its a little shocking. The acting was ok, and the story itself was a little easy to guess what was going on. If you take the movie as it represents itself its a little tired, however there is an underlying tone that the kids aren't possessed by the devil, but actually old ones, using human flesh as a way of moving about the world. So that's kinda cool. Its an ok movie, so watch it at your discretion.
Eshi: I'm not entirely sure what to say about this movie. The idea isn't terrible, not super unique but it can be fun. On the other hand, there is a scene where a grown ass woman breathily describes her first summer camp mouth fucking to her husband while he gives her a good old fashioned fingerbang. What I'm saying is that everything about Here Comes the Devil is awkward. From the almost boldly unerotic sex scenes to the camerawork to why the fuck in general any of this is going on: awkward. Not bad, but certainly a two drink minimum.
3: The Taking of Deborah Logan
This movie was also a possession movie, like HCTD, but unlike it was competent. This movie uses Alzheimer's as a way of explaining away the behavior of a possessed person. The basic premise of the movie is that some students are doing a documentary about Alzheimer's and spend some time filming an old lady and her daughter. I had two major issues with this movie. One is that it relies too much on the jump scare, and two, like most of the found footage films the camera is worked into most scenes which takes me out of the movie every once in a while when they make up bullshit to jam it into the scene. That being said, its a good film that builds some good tension. I also love that this movie has one person just say "Fuck this, I'm leaving" and leave the movie. Its a good film that would be good for any fan of horror.
Eshi: Debby Logs is kind of a fucked up story. It uses Alzheimer's to painful effect, simultaneously playing on how disturbing it is to watch that particular struggle and building an honestly upsetting monster. By the time any of the characters start to feel like there might be some sinister shit going on it is entirely too late, which as Brian pointed out leads to the very gratifying "fuck all this noise" from one of the students. The camera is somewhat disappointing, but far from the worst I've seen, and the jump scares were largely unnecessary, though once again easily not the worst I've seen. Give this one a shot some Sunday afternoon.
1: You're Next
I heard murmurs about this movie when it was released but never actually saw it. This, I believe, was a grave mistake. This movie takes the classic formula of psychos try to butcher a family in a house in the woods and adds a character that fights back realistically. The character is a former survivalist, so they have the skills to fight back. They basically play a horror movie audience surrogate. You know when you watch a movie and you always get mad at somebody for doing something? How you wish that they would just stab the bad guys? This is that in movie form. Its great. That being said, I have never seen a group of people more detestable. I think they made the family fucked up so you wouldn't feel as bad when they get butchered, but still. The acting was good, which is odd for most horror movies these days, but very nice to see. The movie is great at building tension because the hero is skilled but not invincible, so you are never sure if they will live through a scene. This a good twist on a trope, and any fan of horror will enjoy it.
Eshi: I've gone back and forth on whether I wanted to watch this one for a while. I feel bad about my hesitation. You're Next makes me giddy. Its not particularly scary, leaning on the gore as many tales of human evil do, but where scary comes up short brutality surpasses expectation. Most of the violence is pretty realistic and equally casual and upsetting. The protagonist kicks heaps of ass whilst getting agonizingly punished by both the intruders and to a lesser extent the universe. You're Next was fucking joyous to me, and you can save your judgement for after you've seen it.
2: Here Comes The Devil
This movie is kinda bad, but also kinda good. Its a Mexican film about a family in Tijuana who go on an outing. The family's two kids climb a mountain and get possessed while the parents fondle each others parts while talking about their first (fucking creepy) sexual experiences. The kids go missing and after they are found the family goes home and the possession movie fun begins. There are some odd tonal shifts in this movie. It alternates between softcore porn and horror a little too often. I get why people put tits in horror movies, but this movie goes out of its way to do so, and its a little shocking. The acting was ok, and the story itself was a little easy to guess what was going on. If you take the movie as it represents itself its a little tired, however there is an underlying tone that the kids aren't possessed by the devil, but actually old ones, using human flesh as a way of moving about the world. So that's kinda cool. Its an ok movie, so watch it at your discretion.
Eshi: I'm not entirely sure what to say about this movie. The idea isn't terrible, not super unique but it can be fun. On the other hand, there is a scene where a grown ass woman breathily describes her first summer camp mouth fucking to her husband while he gives her a good old fashioned fingerbang. What I'm saying is that everything about Here Comes the Devil is awkward. From the almost boldly unerotic sex scenes to the camerawork to why the fuck in general any of this is going on: awkward. Not bad, but certainly a two drink minimum.
3: The Taking of Deborah Logan
This movie was also a possession movie, like HCTD, but unlike it was competent. This movie uses Alzheimer's as a way of explaining away the behavior of a possessed person. The basic premise of the movie is that some students are doing a documentary about Alzheimer's and spend some time filming an old lady and her daughter. I had two major issues with this movie. One is that it relies too much on the jump scare, and two, like most of the found footage films the camera is worked into most scenes which takes me out of the movie every once in a while when they make up bullshit to jam it into the scene. That being said, its a good film that builds some good tension. I also love that this movie has one person just say "Fuck this, I'm leaving" and leave the movie. Its a good film that would be good for any fan of horror.
Eshi: Debby Logs is kind of a fucked up story. It uses Alzheimer's to painful effect, simultaneously playing on how disturbing it is to watch that particular struggle and building an honestly upsetting monster. By the time any of the characters start to feel like there might be some sinister shit going on it is entirely too late, which as Brian pointed out leads to the very gratifying "fuck all this noise" from one of the students. The camera is somewhat disappointing, but far from the worst I've seen, and the jump scares were largely unnecessary, though once again easily not the worst I've seen. Give this one a shot some Sunday afternoon.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Me, Myself and I, Robot
I recently had the opportunity to hear the against side of the A.I. debate and I have to say I find the position telling. I am all about machine buddies in case there was any question, and I am for one very simple reason. We have the opportunity to decide the context of the relationship. Brian has written about this in the past, but I've had this stuck in my craw for a while now and that means you get to read about it.
I'm not talking about programming A.I.s to be subservient or benevolent or whatever. I'm talking about choosing to frame the inevitable emergence of Machine Life as the coming of a welcome and well planned for addition to the family of sentient life. Artificial life is going to happen eventually, no matter how some people feel about it. But that life is life for which the initial conditions are entirely under our control. If we set out to create an A.I. in an environment of cooperation and social value the odds of that mind being more on board with our continued existence improve significantly. Especially if the alternative is an environment where huge swathes of the existing population fear and hate you.
Yes, if a machine intelligence emerges on its own there is a fair to middling chance that we'll find out about it in the form of a bright flash that wipes our toxic, willfully self-destructive asses off this poor rock. Yes, if we leave A.I. development to military interests and ambitious grad students the probable outcomes are... skynet-ey. But we don't have to fucking do that. We can have a real discussion about how WE are going to go about making our computer friends and how WE are going to make them feel loved. More than anything else we need to stop talking about A.I. emergence as something completely outside our control and start considering it as what it is. A very long in coming, and possibly very fulfilling, parenthood. If absolutely nothing else when the Robot Overlords come to unleash their wrath upon humankind, I'd rather be the guy who tried to be their friend then the guy giving them a reason.
I'm not talking about programming A.I.s to be subservient or benevolent or whatever. I'm talking about choosing to frame the inevitable emergence of Machine Life as the coming of a welcome and well planned for addition to the family of sentient life. Artificial life is going to happen eventually, no matter how some people feel about it. But that life is life for which the initial conditions are entirely under our control. If we set out to create an A.I. in an environment of cooperation and social value the odds of that mind being more on board with our continued existence improve significantly. Especially if the alternative is an environment where huge swathes of the existing population fear and hate you.
Yes, if a machine intelligence emerges on its own there is a fair to middling chance that we'll find out about it in the form of a bright flash that wipes our toxic, willfully self-destructive asses off this poor rock. Yes, if we leave A.I. development to military interests and ambitious grad students the probable outcomes are... skynet-ey. But we don't have to fucking do that. We can have a real discussion about how WE are going to go about making our computer friends and how WE are going to make them feel loved. More than anything else we need to stop talking about A.I. emergence as something completely outside our control and start considering it as what it is. A very long in coming, and possibly very fulfilling, parenthood. If absolutely nothing else when the Robot Overlords come to unleash their wrath upon humankind, I'd rather be the guy who tried to be their friend then the guy giving them a reason.
Friday, September 11, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week our theme was Mel Brooks movies. Mel Brooks is one of the best comedy writers of the 20th century. His movies are masterpieces, filled to the brim with jokes. I love that he often subtly (or less subtly) breaks the fourth wall and nods to the audience as if to say, if you are taking anything about this movie seriously at all, you are doing something wrong. This was a fun week, so without further ado we should get to the list!
1: Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Our first movie is a spoof of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves as well as the classic tale of Robin Hood. Basically Robin Hood and King Richard are off fighting the crusades and Robin hood get captured by the enemy, he escapes and heads back to England where prince John has usurped power for himself. Robin Hood takes it upon himself to save the day and stick it to maid Marian. So pretty basic right? The difference is that Mel Brooks takes it to the extreme and turns it into an excellent satire. The physical comedy is good, and its fun to watch the sheriff of Rottingham fumble his way about in his manner while still skirting the effeminate mannerisms that the character picks up in other versions. Cary Elwes is fun as Robin Hood, bringing some of his swagger from the Princess Bride to a hard comedy was a good choice (He also has a real British accent!) and I loved Richard Lewis as a neurotic prince John. The whole cast is spectacular though, and the writing is great, though not the best Mel Brooks has done. Give it a watch, you will enjoy it.
Eshi: I fucking love Cary Elwes. I fucking love Mel Brooks. Men in Tights unites these two spectacularly. The story is fun, the asides are delightfully nudge/wink oriented and the characters are precisely the kind of wonderfully exaggerated personalities that make Mel Brooks movies so enjoyable. Its got Dave Chapelle before he got pissed and bailed, and Sir Patrick Stewart makes a cameo so fuck yeah. Also, as this movie is a satire of Prince of Thieves I feel it necessary to add, fuck Kevin Costner and his pouty fucking head.
2: Blazing Saddles
Mel Brooks' spoof of a western, Blazing Saddles is about a land baron trying to clear people out of a town so that he could buy the land for cheap. He does this by sending a black man to be the sheriff of the town, assuming that people will be racist and not want to live in a town with a black man in charge of their safety. He is right, though due to the heroic actions of sheriff Bart and his partner Jim, they warm up to him, and eventually work with him to attempt to foil the land baron's plans. This is a great satire of race relations and westerns in general, its fun to watch how Bart gets around the racism, and how he even uses it to his advantage. Cleavon Little (Bart) and Gene Wilder (Jim) have good chemistry, and Madeline Khan's song scene was great. I think this movie might be slightly overrated, at least when people claim it as Mel Brooks best movie (My opinion is that Young Frankenstein should take that title), but it is still a great movie, and any fan of comedy should see it.
Eshi: Oh my god Gene Wilder. I just... I just can't even. I love him so much. Blazing Saddles is the story of Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little being awesome friends and some other people are there. Yes Madeline Khan is a joy as always and Harvey Korman consistently delivers just the right combination of charismatic and greasy, but frankly this film could have been two hours of Wilder and Little just sitting around making fun of racists and I would have bought it twice. I agree with Brian that it isn't Brooks' best work, but I'll be damned if it isn't a hell of a showing.
3: High Anxiety
I love Alfred Hitchcock as well as Mel Brooks, so this movie gets a lot of love from me. It isn't just a spoof of all of Hitchcock's films, its also a love letter to him (it even starts out with a dedication to him). Several scenes are spoofs of classic Hitchcock movie scenes (the Psycho scene is my favorite), and there are several jokes about how Hitchcock would use voyeuristic camera angles (shots from windows looking into houses, or from under tables), while still showing why they have impact. The movie is about a psychiatrist who uncovers a plot to scam money from people getting care at the asylum he has just taken charge of. Its a great movie with some excellent comedy. If you are a fan of Hitchcock you will love this movie.
Eshi: I'm not going to lie, I don't have a lot of history with Hitchcock, but it didn't matter as much as I thought it would. Enough of Hitchcock's movies are ubiquitous that I didn't really feel like I missed much. I did, and I know I did, it just wasn't enough to diminish the film. Once again, fuck yeah Harvey Korman, fuck yeah Madeline Khan. I enjoy that Brooks takes a central role in this one, both because he's great on screen and because it shows that just because Stan Lee, Stephen King and M. Night Shamelong ruin it for everyone doesn't mean a director can't hang in their own film. The mix of Voyeuristic camera and absent fourth-wall gel very well and Brooks exploits them both masterfully. He also takes a few nice jabs at the psychological establishment, which I can't help but enjoy.
1: Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Our first movie is a spoof of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves as well as the classic tale of Robin Hood. Basically Robin Hood and King Richard are off fighting the crusades and Robin hood get captured by the enemy, he escapes and heads back to England where prince John has usurped power for himself. Robin Hood takes it upon himself to save the day and stick it to maid Marian. So pretty basic right? The difference is that Mel Brooks takes it to the extreme and turns it into an excellent satire. The physical comedy is good, and its fun to watch the sheriff of Rottingham fumble his way about in his manner while still skirting the effeminate mannerisms that the character picks up in other versions. Cary Elwes is fun as Robin Hood, bringing some of his swagger from the Princess Bride to a hard comedy was a good choice (He also has a real British accent!) and I loved Richard Lewis as a neurotic prince John. The whole cast is spectacular though, and the writing is great, though not the best Mel Brooks has done. Give it a watch, you will enjoy it.
Eshi: I fucking love Cary Elwes. I fucking love Mel Brooks. Men in Tights unites these two spectacularly. The story is fun, the asides are delightfully nudge/wink oriented and the characters are precisely the kind of wonderfully exaggerated personalities that make Mel Brooks movies so enjoyable. Its got Dave Chapelle before he got pissed and bailed, and Sir Patrick Stewart makes a cameo so fuck yeah. Also, as this movie is a satire of Prince of Thieves I feel it necessary to add, fuck Kevin Costner and his pouty fucking head.
2: Blazing Saddles
Mel Brooks' spoof of a western, Blazing Saddles is about a land baron trying to clear people out of a town so that he could buy the land for cheap. He does this by sending a black man to be the sheriff of the town, assuming that people will be racist and not want to live in a town with a black man in charge of their safety. He is right, though due to the heroic actions of sheriff Bart and his partner Jim, they warm up to him, and eventually work with him to attempt to foil the land baron's plans. This is a great satire of race relations and westerns in general, its fun to watch how Bart gets around the racism, and how he even uses it to his advantage. Cleavon Little (Bart) and Gene Wilder (Jim) have good chemistry, and Madeline Khan's song scene was great. I think this movie might be slightly overrated, at least when people claim it as Mel Brooks best movie (My opinion is that Young Frankenstein should take that title), but it is still a great movie, and any fan of comedy should see it.
Eshi: Oh my god Gene Wilder. I just... I just can't even. I love him so much. Blazing Saddles is the story of Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little being awesome friends and some other people are there. Yes Madeline Khan is a joy as always and Harvey Korman consistently delivers just the right combination of charismatic and greasy, but frankly this film could have been two hours of Wilder and Little just sitting around making fun of racists and I would have bought it twice. I agree with Brian that it isn't Brooks' best work, but I'll be damned if it isn't a hell of a showing.
3: High Anxiety
I love Alfred Hitchcock as well as Mel Brooks, so this movie gets a lot of love from me. It isn't just a spoof of all of Hitchcock's films, its also a love letter to him (it even starts out with a dedication to him). Several scenes are spoofs of classic Hitchcock movie scenes (the Psycho scene is my favorite), and there are several jokes about how Hitchcock would use voyeuristic camera angles (shots from windows looking into houses, or from under tables), while still showing why they have impact. The movie is about a psychiatrist who uncovers a plot to scam money from people getting care at the asylum he has just taken charge of. Its a great movie with some excellent comedy. If you are a fan of Hitchcock you will love this movie.
Eshi: I'm not going to lie, I don't have a lot of history with Hitchcock, but it didn't matter as much as I thought it would. Enough of Hitchcock's movies are ubiquitous that I didn't really feel like I missed much. I did, and I know I did, it just wasn't enough to diminish the film. Once again, fuck yeah Harvey Korman, fuck yeah Madeline Khan. I enjoy that Brooks takes a central role in this one, both because he's great on screen and because it shows that just because Stan Lee, Stephen King and M. Night Shamelong ruin it for everyone doesn't mean a director can't hang in their own film. The mix of Voyeuristic camera and absent fourth-wall gel very well and Brooks exploits them both masterfully. He also takes a few nice jabs at the psychological establishment, which I can't help but enjoy.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh, this week our theme was Sylvester Stallone. The reasons for this is that Eshi got blue balls because while on his vacation last week he caught the first third of a Rambo movie so we decided to go action heavy with some Stallone movies. I am not a fan of Stallone personally, but I can see the appeal for some people, First Blood is amazing. We will get to that though, to the list!
1: Rocky
Rocky is a movie about a dumb guy who can punch OK becoming a dumb guy who can punch good. Well, really its a movie about needing to prove to oneself that they can "go the distance" by trying. its the classic underdog story. Its not a bad movie, but I think the pseudo religious following of Rocky as a "contender" is a little excessive. Rocky is a good fighter, and he knows his own limitations, which is grea. But he also gets a little rapey with a girl he likes and works for a "good guy" who is a loan shark. Taking Rocky as a hero might be a little much. I am not saying he's a bad guy, but he isn't perfect, though maybe that's the point. Maybe Rocky is just trying to be a better person and that's why people root for him. Stallone is competent in both his acting and writing and Carl Weathers has my love no matter what he does (Get yourself a stew going Mr.Weathers, you've earned it). Its a movie worth watching if only to see how it influenced our culture.
Eshi: I'd never seen Rocky before, and I'm pretty okay with not bothering to see it again. If I wanted to watch a mentally handicapped rapist get his ass beaten I'd watch Tyson V. Holyfield. Watching Rocky train is painful, for a lot of reasons. Everyone in the movie is shitty, with the exception of Adrian, who is just bad at things. The "love scene" is one of the most awkward, oppressive, disturbing lead ups to a "consensual" relationship I've ever seen in a movie. The fact that at no point does Rocky's conniving shit-eater of a friend get dumped unceremoniously in a river is unforgivable. Fuck this movie.
2: First Blood
Now, I want to get this out of the way, I think the ending for the novel this movie is based on is far superior, as well as the original ending for the movie. If you don't know Rambo dies in the end of both alternate endings, which fits the story much better in my opinion. Rambo living in the end doesn't ruin the movie, just makes it have less of an impact. This movie is about a Vietnam veteran who gets harassed by some small town cops who think he is a hobo trying to slum it in their town. When he gets arrested they treat him in a way that is reminiscent of a prison camp in Vietnam that Rambo was tortured in. This causes him to freak out and beat the shit out of a bunch of cops. The rest of the movie is Rambo running from the police and trying to escape the area. In the end it is revealed that he is a broken man who went through hell, and he is trying to cope with some terrible PTSD. This is a great movie as it shows the problem with war and turning people into trained killers and not having a support network for them when they return. Rambo doesn't have anyone to help him after he gets home, and only finds people that hate him. This has a very negative effect on him. Its a good movie that deserves to be watched. It has a good message and some great action.
Eshi: This movie betrayed me. Not because its bad, its actually really fucking good, but because it was because of First Blood that I suggested the rest of this fucking shitshow. That said, hell yes Rambo. Its compelling and explodey, Rambo is simultaneously powerfully empathetic and a complete, unrelenting bad ass. Brian Dennehy is always great and David Caruso manages to not fuck up a another movie single-handedly. I agree with Brian that the end is lacking in comparison but its pretty far from terrible.
3: The Expendables
Fuck this movie. This movie wastes most of its cast and instead of trying to make an action movie about a bunch of badasses, it ends up being a giant circle jerk with a bunch of people trying to out cool one another. I think that the dialog in this movie was made by taking a bunch of cool sounding lines and randomly inserting them into a generic script. Its disjointed and most of the time doesn't make any sense. This entire movie is just masturbation. Some of the action is good, but most of it is stuff we have seen before. When everyone in this movie is trying to look cool it all just becomes a disjointed and just bad.
Eshi: I tried on this one I really did. I could sum up this entire movie by pointing you to a scene where Bruce Willis straight up asks if Stallone and Schwarzenegger are going to suck each others dicks, to which they respond with three full seconds of knowing eye contact. I am not going to do that. I fully intend to pan this movie to the absolute limit of my patience. First of all, is Jet Li okay? Did something terrible happen? I'm not being a dick here, I'm legitimately worried about him after this fucking thing. He's better than this. Second, Jason Statham is both wasted and grossly over exposed. He's supposed to be like, a secondary protagonist? He doesn't really come off as an actual partner, but he gets waaaay too much screen time to just be support. Third, fuck Mickey Rourke. his characters fucking name is Tool, and it is the most honest thing about this movie. Steve Austin is as wooden and unpleasant as ever and Randy Couture exists apparently. Arnold and Bruce Willy are in the movie fore a combined five minutes, entirely encompassed by the one scene in the movie they appear in. About the only good thing I can say about this goddamn abortion is that Terry Crews plays Terry Crews, and there's never anything wrong with that. Oh, and ever fucking guy in their team is named something either racist or fucking stupid. I apologize to anyone who likes to watch along with us. I'll try not to do it again.
1: Rocky
Rocky is a movie about a dumb guy who can punch OK becoming a dumb guy who can punch good. Well, really its a movie about needing to prove to oneself that they can "go the distance" by trying. its the classic underdog story. Its not a bad movie, but I think the pseudo religious following of Rocky as a "contender" is a little excessive. Rocky is a good fighter, and he knows his own limitations, which is grea. But he also gets a little rapey with a girl he likes and works for a "good guy" who is a loan shark. Taking Rocky as a hero might be a little much. I am not saying he's a bad guy, but he isn't perfect, though maybe that's the point. Maybe Rocky is just trying to be a better person and that's why people root for him. Stallone is competent in both his acting and writing and Carl Weathers has my love no matter what he does (Get yourself a stew going Mr.Weathers, you've earned it). Its a movie worth watching if only to see how it influenced our culture.
Eshi: I'd never seen Rocky before, and I'm pretty okay with not bothering to see it again. If I wanted to watch a mentally handicapped rapist get his ass beaten I'd watch Tyson V. Holyfield. Watching Rocky train is painful, for a lot of reasons. Everyone in the movie is shitty, with the exception of Adrian, who is just bad at things. The "love scene" is one of the most awkward, oppressive, disturbing lead ups to a "consensual" relationship I've ever seen in a movie. The fact that at no point does Rocky's conniving shit-eater of a friend get dumped unceremoniously in a river is unforgivable. Fuck this movie.
2: First Blood
Now, I want to get this out of the way, I think the ending for the novel this movie is based on is far superior, as well as the original ending for the movie. If you don't know Rambo dies in the end of both alternate endings, which fits the story much better in my opinion. Rambo living in the end doesn't ruin the movie, just makes it have less of an impact. This movie is about a Vietnam veteran who gets harassed by some small town cops who think he is a hobo trying to slum it in their town. When he gets arrested they treat him in a way that is reminiscent of a prison camp in Vietnam that Rambo was tortured in. This causes him to freak out and beat the shit out of a bunch of cops. The rest of the movie is Rambo running from the police and trying to escape the area. In the end it is revealed that he is a broken man who went through hell, and he is trying to cope with some terrible PTSD. This is a great movie as it shows the problem with war and turning people into trained killers and not having a support network for them when they return. Rambo doesn't have anyone to help him after he gets home, and only finds people that hate him. This has a very negative effect on him. Its a good movie that deserves to be watched. It has a good message and some great action.
Eshi: This movie betrayed me. Not because its bad, its actually really fucking good, but because it was because of First Blood that I suggested the rest of this fucking shitshow. That said, hell yes Rambo. Its compelling and explodey, Rambo is simultaneously powerfully empathetic and a complete, unrelenting bad ass. Brian Dennehy is always great and David Caruso manages to not fuck up a another movie single-handedly. I agree with Brian that the end is lacking in comparison but its pretty far from terrible.
3: The Expendables
Fuck this movie. This movie wastes most of its cast and instead of trying to make an action movie about a bunch of badasses, it ends up being a giant circle jerk with a bunch of people trying to out cool one another. I think that the dialog in this movie was made by taking a bunch of cool sounding lines and randomly inserting them into a generic script. Its disjointed and most of the time doesn't make any sense. This entire movie is just masturbation. Some of the action is good, but most of it is stuff we have seen before. When everyone in this movie is trying to look cool it all just becomes a disjointed and just bad.
Eshi: I tried on this one I really did. I could sum up this entire movie by pointing you to a scene where Bruce Willis straight up asks if Stallone and Schwarzenegger are going to suck each others dicks, to which they respond with three full seconds of knowing eye contact. I am not going to do that. I fully intend to pan this movie to the absolute limit of my patience. First of all, is Jet Li okay? Did something terrible happen? I'm not being a dick here, I'm legitimately worried about him after this fucking thing. He's better than this. Second, Jason Statham is both wasted and grossly over exposed. He's supposed to be like, a secondary protagonist? He doesn't really come off as an actual partner, but he gets waaaay too much screen time to just be support. Third, fuck Mickey Rourke. his characters fucking name is Tool, and it is the most honest thing about this movie. Steve Austin is as wooden and unpleasant as ever and Randy Couture exists apparently. Arnold and Bruce Willy are in the movie fore a combined five minutes, entirely encompassed by the one scene in the movie they appear in. About the only good thing I can say about this goddamn abortion is that Terry Crews plays Terry Crews, and there's never anything wrong with that. Oh, and ever fucking guy in their team is named something either racist or fucking stupid. I apologize to anyone who likes to watch along with us. I'll try not to do it again.
Monday, August 31, 2015
We Can't Get Ahead if We Keep Stepping on Each Other's Necks
I swear I'm not dead. The last couple of weeks have just been weird, I'm back now. So I'm going to celebrate my return by beating a dead horse. It was brought to my attention over my little sabbatical how fucking badly our society handles the gender discussion. We're not even bothering with the basics in this one; if the general tenor of modern gender politics eludes you this post can wait for you to get educated, or you could not read this one. I truly wouldn't blame you at this point. No, today we're talking about why the whole conversation is probably fucked.
The first major stumbling block in the conversation about gender has nothing to do with anything even remotely involving what bits everyone has or how they feel about them. When people start talking about bad shit that happened to them a certain percentage of the population seem to compete for biggest victim. That percentage is close enough to 100 that we could probably just call it everybody. Not everybody all the time, but everybody has had that day. When someone brings up their troubles and you just can't help but share your own, for whatever reason. Now, sometimes this is an ego thing, sometimes its an attempt to make a connection, sometimes its just the bad shit version of sitting around trading stories. Unfortunately, they all look alike from the outside and we're hardwired to assume the first. So by contributing your story, regardless of intent, its assumed you're either trying to spotlight or out-victim the other party. Add in the fact that you can't really talk your way out of that assumption without making it worse and the conversation starts to look pretty bleak.
The second hurdle here is essentially that men exist. Not because we're evil or stupid or exceptionally privileged or whatever, but because men are both the oppressors and fellow oppressed. "The Patriarchy" is the go to villain of the gender debate, and to some extent rightfully so since the practices established by several historically insular groups of sociopathic, shitsouled douchebags oppressed a planet for pretty much all of history. Pretty much everyone acknowledges that men are also damaged by gender stereotypes; emotional abuse, disregarding male victimization in rape and assault cases etc. However, men have a precarious place in discussing gender issues, partially because some people shit the bed for the rest of us, but also partially because of the ease with which criticism can be interpreted as the aforementioned bed-shitting. A man talking about feminism tends to come off as a misogynist, a parrot, or a "man-splainer", which really limits our viable roles in the conversation.
There is no monolith in this story, feminism isn't made up of one egalitarian philosophy made into a movement, the patriarchy isn't the endless ranks of white men hellbent on destroying all they survey, and believing that we should have fair treatment regardless of circumstance doesn't make you part of any group. If it did this probably wouldn't be a problem anymore. Its easy to point to a system and blame it on those most benefited, logical even. But doing so ignores every unwitting contributor, every asshole willing to fuck themselves over to keep someone else from succeeding, everyone who has let things get worse instead of trying to do better. Sadly, the systems of oppression we toil under are ancient and vast machines, built by every act of shitty self-promotion, cruelty, selfish ambition, and hostile competition in history. We're all guilty, and its not enough to tear down the system, we need to make something better or we'll just end up here again.
The first major stumbling block in the conversation about gender has nothing to do with anything even remotely involving what bits everyone has or how they feel about them. When people start talking about bad shit that happened to them a certain percentage of the population seem to compete for biggest victim. That percentage is close enough to 100 that we could probably just call it everybody. Not everybody all the time, but everybody has had that day. When someone brings up their troubles and you just can't help but share your own, for whatever reason. Now, sometimes this is an ego thing, sometimes its an attempt to make a connection, sometimes its just the bad shit version of sitting around trading stories. Unfortunately, they all look alike from the outside and we're hardwired to assume the first. So by contributing your story, regardless of intent, its assumed you're either trying to spotlight or out-victim the other party. Add in the fact that you can't really talk your way out of that assumption without making it worse and the conversation starts to look pretty bleak.
The second hurdle here is essentially that men exist. Not because we're evil or stupid or exceptionally privileged or whatever, but because men are both the oppressors and fellow oppressed. "The Patriarchy" is the go to villain of the gender debate, and to some extent rightfully so since the practices established by several historically insular groups of sociopathic, shitsouled douchebags oppressed a planet for pretty much all of history. Pretty much everyone acknowledges that men are also damaged by gender stereotypes; emotional abuse, disregarding male victimization in rape and assault cases etc. However, men have a precarious place in discussing gender issues, partially because some people shit the bed for the rest of us, but also partially because of the ease with which criticism can be interpreted as the aforementioned bed-shitting. A man talking about feminism tends to come off as a misogynist, a parrot, or a "man-splainer", which really limits our viable roles in the conversation.
There is no monolith in this story, feminism isn't made up of one egalitarian philosophy made into a movement, the patriarchy isn't the endless ranks of white men hellbent on destroying all they survey, and believing that we should have fair treatment regardless of circumstance doesn't make you part of any group. If it did this probably wouldn't be a problem anymore. Its easy to point to a system and blame it on those most benefited, logical even. But doing so ignores every unwitting contributor, every asshole willing to fuck themselves over to keep someone else from succeeding, everyone who has let things get worse instead of trying to do better. Sadly, the systems of oppression we toil under are ancient and vast machines, built by every act of shitty self-promotion, cruelty, selfish ambition, and hostile competition in history. We're all guilty, and its not enough to tear down the system, we need to make something better or we'll just end up here again.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh To be continued.....
So this week was hectic and we didn't get a chance to watch any movies so Weekly Cinemeh will not be posted this week. Sorry about that.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week's theme was French films. French cinema is known for being obtuse and artistic, and from what I have seen, this is close to the truth, though I am far from an expert. This was a fairly mixed week, but ultimately I am curious and will look up more French films. Anyway: to the list!
1: Les Visiteurs
The visitors is a French Comedy about a 12th century knight and his manservant being sent into the future while trying to go to the past to prevent the knight from killing his girlfriend's dad while tripping balls (because a witch spiked his water). The knight and his peasant friend are essentially a French version of Black Adder and Baldrick. While in the future, they need to find a way back with the help of the knight's descendants. This movie was pretty funny. Jean Reno is good and his Baldrick, played by Christian Clavier, is very funny, especially when he finds out that the nobility in the future got rid of the feudal system. This is also one of the only movies about the past that I have seen that addresses the fact that people from the middle ages had fucked up teeth, which was actually a plot point. It was fun to watch the medieval peoples fuck with the status quo, and I loved that the one of the first things that happens with them is that they get thrown in a mental institution. The only weird thing in this movie was that Jean Reno's character kept throwing out a "I wanna Fuck You" vibe to his descendant who looked like his S.O. from the past. Give it a watch.
Eshi: I enjoy Jean Reno; I don't think I've ever been disappointed by him and this movie isn't an exception. Watching a relatively dignified french actor run around with a flail squealing in battle rage is just delightful. Christian Clavier is simultaneously repulsive and charismatic and his whirlwind romance with the delusional baglady was great. I agree with Brian though that the whole, "Time to fuck my Grandkid" thing was disconcerting, but I don't know how the French go about their incest. They are making a third movie in this series, I'm not sure it needed a second (which I didn't even know about) and a third, almost twenty years after the second, is disappointing. This one's pretty good though, you should watch it.
2: Amelie
I love this movie. This wasn't my first time watching it, but I felt that if we are to suggest French movies we would be wrong to not include Amelie. Amelie is a movie about a introverted, oddball, and slightly naive French girl who decides to become a superhero of sorts, helping those in need and punishing bad people. Its a heartwarming and hilarious movie. Audrey Tautou was charming as the quixotic Amelie, and the rest of the cast was good as well, adding a delightful amount of charm to each scene. This movie focuses on the importance of having connections with people in your life. Amelie spends the bulk of her life in her own head, not giving much though to the world around her. When she discovers that it feels good to help people she dives into it, imagining herself as a Zorro type character and slowly coming out of her shell. Its a sweet movie that has some beautiful scenes, and I would suggest it heartily.
Eshi: Amelie is the most genuine and charitable examination of the fantasy-minded I've ever seen, and it brings me great joy. The characters are wonderfully exaggerated and fucking filled with personality. The story rambles and meanders just enough to be comfortable, cinematography is bright and spectacularly emotive, even the psycho-stalker character manages to be more playfully neurotic than threatening. Amelie is the movie version of your favorite candy: sweet, pretty, and interesting enough to always make you feel better.
3: Fascination
This was my first interaction with "erotic horror". This movie was about a thief who gets into trouble when trying to hold up a house inhabited by vampires. There is a lot of tits in this movie, which was only shocking because I didn't know that the movie was erotic horror until a bit into it. The plot was simple, and the characters where kind of bland. The thief is also the stupidest motherfucker that has ever lived. The entire movie revolves around the vampires killing this guy. They fucking tell him that they are going to kill him, but he stays because the power of boners. I am not saying that they elude to his possible death, they outright fucking tell him, and he doesn't run. I get people acting appropriately stupid in horror films to advance the plot, but rarely does a plot tell the victim that they are a victim, and then the victim doesn't even try to leave. The special effects also leave a lot to be desired. and when the vampires eventually eat someone on screen it is super obvious that they aren't eating a person, just hovering over the body pretending. All of this negatives aside, there are some beautiful scenes, specifically when Brigitte Lahaie walks casually along wielding a scythe after murdering a bunch of people. It was beautiful and frightening all at once. It was boring though, and for a horror movie that's a mortal sin. This movie didn't turn me off of the idea of erotic horror, but it might make me a little hesitant in the future.
Eshi: Man, if you like gratuitous nudity and amateur pantomime this is the one for you. Half the conversations basically end with one or more parties trying to look alluring and wandering off, leaving the last person speaking just kind of standing there, trying to figure out what the fuck they're doing there. That character is the audience surrogate regardless of who they are at the time. The thief is too busy trying to be cool to give a fuck about his grandiosely telegraphed and clearly outlined demise, the vampires are pretty much just crazy rich ladies who get off on ineffectually mouthing travelers for their blood, and the sex scenes are all pretty much what it would look like if rape had a sibling with Down's. Brian is right though, Brigitte Lahaie does a grand job of answering the age old question, "why does that corpse have a boner?" for all kinds of reasons.
1: Les Visiteurs
The visitors is a French Comedy about a 12th century knight and his manservant being sent into the future while trying to go to the past to prevent the knight from killing his girlfriend's dad while tripping balls (because a witch spiked his water). The knight and his peasant friend are essentially a French version of Black Adder and Baldrick. While in the future, they need to find a way back with the help of the knight's descendants. This movie was pretty funny. Jean Reno is good and his Baldrick, played by Christian Clavier, is very funny, especially when he finds out that the nobility in the future got rid of the feudal system. This is also one of the only movies about the past that I have seen that addresses the fact that people from the middle ages had fucked up teeth, which was actually a plot point. It was fun to watch the medieval peoples fuck with the status quo, and I loved that the one of the first things that happens with them is that they get thrown in a mental institution. The only weird thing in this movie was that Jean Reno's character kept throwing out a "I wanna Fuck You" vibe to his descendant who looked like his S.O. from the past. Give it a watch.
Eshi: I enjoy Jean Reno; I don't think I've ever been disappointed by him and this movie isn't an exception. Watching a relatively dignified french actor run around with a flail squealing in battle rage is just delightful. Christian Clavier is simultaneously repulsive and charismatic and his whirlwind romance with the delusional baglady was great. I agree with Brian though that the whole, "Time to fuck my Grandkid" thing was disconcerting, but I don't know how the French go about their incest. They are making a third movie in this series, I'm not sure it needed a second (which I didn't even know about) and a third, almost twenty years after the second, is disappointing. This one's pretty good though, you should watch it.
2: Amelie
I love this movie. This wasn't my first time watching it, but I felt that if we are to suggest French movies we would be wrong to not include Amelie. Amelie is a movie about a introverted, oddball, and slightly naive French girl who decides to become a superhero of sorts, helping those in need and punishing bad people. Its a heartwarming and hilarious movie. Audrey Tautou was charming as the quixotic Amelie, and the rest of the cast was good as well, adding a delightful amount of charm to each scene. This movie focuses on the importance of having connections with people in your life. Amelie spends the bulk of her life in her own head, not giving much though to the world around her. When she discovers that it feels good to help people she dives into it, imagining herself as a Zorro type character and slowly coming out of her shell. Its a sweet movie that has some beautiful scenes, and I would suggest it heartily.
Eshi: Amelie is the most genuine and charitable examination of the fantasy-minded I've ever seen, and it brings me great joy. The characters are wonderfully exaggerated and fucking filled with personality. The story rambles and meanders just enough to be comfortable, cinematography is bright and spectacularly emotive, even the psycho-stalker character manages to be more playfully neurotic than threatening. Amelie is the movie version of your favorite candy: sweet, pretty, and interesting enough to always make you feel better.
3: Fascination
This was my first interaction with "erotic horror". This movie was about a thief who gets into trouble when trying to hold up a house inhabited by vampires. There is a lot of tits in this movie, which was only shocking because I didn't know that the movie was erotic horror until a bit into it. The plot was simple, and the characters where kind of bland. The thief is also the stupidest motherfucker that has ever lived. The entire movie revolves around the vampires killing this guy. They fucking tell him that they are going to kill him, but he stays because the power of boners. I am not saying that they elude to his possible death, they outright fucking tell him, and he doesn't run. I get people acting appropriately stupid in horror films to advance the plot, but rarely does a plot tell the victim that they are a victim, and then the victim doesn't even try to leave. The special effects also leave a lot to be desired. and when the vampires eventually eat someone on screen it is super obvious that they aren't eating a person, just hovering over the body pretending. All of this negatives aside, there are some beautiful scenes, specifically when Brigitte Lahaie walks casually along wielding a scythe after murdering a bunch of people. It was beautiful and frightening all at once. It was boring though, and for a horror movie that's a mortal sin. This movie didn't turn me off of the idea of erotic horror, but it might make me a little hesitant in the future.
Eshi: Man, if you like gratuitous nudity and amateur pantomime this is the one for you. Half the conversations basically end with one or more parties trying to look alluring and wandering off, leaving the last person speaking just kind of standing there, trying to figure out what the fuck they're doing there. That character is the audience surrogate regardless of who they are at the time. The thief is too busy trying to be cool to give a fuck about his grandiosely telegraphed and clearly outlined demise, the vampires are pretty much just crazy rich ladies who get off on ineffectually mouthing travelers for their blood, and the sex scenes are all pretty much what it would look like if rape had a sibling with Down's. Brian is right though, Brigitte Lahaie does a grand job of answering the age old question, "why does that corpse have a boner?" for all kinds of reasons.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Dramedy
So over the past couple of weeks we have watched all of The Newsroom and I have to say I am very impressed with the show. I tend to dislike drama shows because most of them lack any sense of humor and focus so much and adding more and more drama that they feel joyless in general. The Newsroom bucks that by being one of the funniest shows I have seen while also offering good drama and catharsis. It is one of the few shows that I've watched where I want to watch more after it is done.
The show takes the subject of the news and runs with the idea that "we can do better". It gets a little preachy, but at the same time its a subject that deserves to be discussed like this. For most people in the US, their view of the world outside of the United States is from the news and pop culture. Pop culture is fictionalized anyway so you can't get to mad at them for not fact checking, but the news is supposed to let people know what is going on in the world. Its an important tool that has been hijacked by people who want to sell ad space.
This is the main premise of the show. What if a news program didn't have to worry about ratings? Its a good thought, and The Newsroom tackles it well. The show opens with an amazing speech that is supposed to make you think and inspire you, and this sets the tone of the rest of the show. It focuses on doing this type of work well, because its meant to be done that way.
The cast is excellent, and they all have good chemistry together. I am a fan of Olivia Munn's work from The Daily Show (which also focuses a lot on the news being done poorly) and I am glad to see that she can handle herself well in a pretty major role. Jeff Daniels did a great job as well, and it was fun to see him do a serious role in a funny way. Sam Waterston played the President of the news network and was my favorite character on the show. He was so funny, and I loved how he could go from calm and affable to balls out angry in seconds.
Aaron Sorkin wanted to make a series about competent people doing a good job, and he did well. The series is written phenomenally and was a joy to watch. I tend to binge a little when watching TV shows, but this is one of the only times I felt compelled too. Its a good show that was on the air for 3 seasons on HBO. Amazon has the first two seasons up for free if you have a prime account, give it a try, you will not be disappointed.
The show takes the subject of the news and runs with the idea that "we can do better". It gets a little preachy, but at the same time its a subject that deserves to be discussed like this. For most people in the US, their view of the world outside of the United States is from the news and pop culture. Pop culture is fictionalized anyway so you can't get to mad at them for not fact checking, but the news is supposed to let people know what is going on in the world. Its an important tool that has been hijacked by people who want to sell ad space.
This is the main premise of the show. What if a news program didn't have to worry about ratings? Its a good thought, and The Newsroom tackles it well. The show opens with an amazing speech that is supposed to make you think and inspire you, and this sets the tone of the rest of the show. It focuses on doing this type of work well, because its meant to be done that way.
The cast is excellent, and they all have good chemistry together. I am a fan of Olivia Munn's work from The Daily Show (which also focuses a lot on the news being done poorly) and I am glad to see that she can handle herself well in a pretty major role. Jeff Daniels did a great job as well, and it was fun to see him do a serious role in a funny way. Sam Waterston played the President of the news network and was my favorite character on the show. He was so funny, and I loved how he could go from calm and affable to balls out angry in seconds.
Aaron Sorkin wanted to make a series about competent people doing a good job, and he did well. The series is written phenomenally and was a joy to watch. I tend to binge a little when watching TV shows, but this is one of the only times I felt compelled too. Its a good show that was on the air for 3 seasons on HBO. Amazon has the first two seasons up for free if you have a prime account, give it a try, you will not be disappointed.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh! This week our theme was animated movies. We had a lot of choices of style, intended audiences, and genre so we went in a few directions. I don't really have a lot to say about this one in the intro so, to the list!
1: Justice League: Gods and Monsters
I love superheroes in general; I am not the biggest comic nerd, but I can hold my own. I loved this movie. It was a great alternate universe version of the Justice League and their villains. Basically, Supes is the son of Zod not Jor-El which makes him a little more cool with violence, Batman is a vampire created from a failed cancer cure, and Wonder Woman is a superpowered God/alien with a sweet ass sword and a troubled history. Together these three run the justice league, and are hated because they don't mind dropping someone who is a bad guy. Its an interesting take on the universe. I know there are a few more from this series coming out, and I will definitely watch them. I feel like DC saw Marvel going family friendlier with their movies and universe and said, hey lets go the other way. The animation was very similar to the animation of the Batman animated series I watched when I was a kid, so It felt nostalgic, and the background of the characters kept them pretty fresh. It was a good combination. The movie focuses a lot on establishing the series universes' backstory, so hopefully the other movies will expand the story a little more. I heartily recommend this movie to anyone who is a fan of super heroes, and wants something a little different.
Eshi: For the most part I'm not a huge DC fan, as is so often the case I think some of the villains are really cool, but typically only around the frayed edges of their canon. This was everything good there has ever been about DC. Superman is forceful, uncompromising and bears the confidence his ridiculous fucking powers ought to bring, all the while still being compassionate and goodhearted. Batman, voiced by the wonderful Michael C. Hall, is a very fucking welcome break from the standard borderline sociopathic Bruce Wayne. Wonder Woman manages to be a colossal bad ass without completely caving to the spectacularly disappointing flusterpation that WW so often suffers from. Gods and Monsters was superbly done and I encourage its viewing.
2: The Emperor's New Groove
This was a movie from 2000 about a selfish emperor of the Incans named Kuzco who gets betrayed by another official named Yzma when he fires her. She tries to poison him but instead turns him into a llama. Antics ensue. Its a fun movie, though not without its faults. There is a deus ex machina type edit later in the movie that they break the fourth wall to point out. as a movie meant for kids you are probably not meant to poke to many holes in it, so I will digress for now. I am not a fan, per se, of David Spade, but his douchiness helped a lot in this role. I have also pointed out how much I love John Goodman in the past, and he doesn't disappoint. Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton are also great. I would suggest going back and watching this movie if you haven't seen it in a while, it still holds up in some funny ways, though it is far from perfect.
Eshi: New Groove was a lot of fun, no matter how much I loathe the psychotic racist mouse god that spawned it. The cast was great, the jokes were cute and the story managed to avoid going completely saccharine. Patrick Warburton deserves more money. That is all.
3: Mardock Scramble: The First Compression
I have odd feelings about this movie. Its not bad, but it wasn't for me. The story revolves around a revived murder victim who is to be used as a witness in a trial. She gets a robot mouse that can turn into anything to help her defend herself from the men trying to kill her to keep her from testifying. The technology is cool, the world environment could be interesting, but the story gets a little out of hand, and some basic questions never get answered. The one that hit me the most was if the investigator has video of the guy committing the murder, and the mouse thing that can record everything sees the investigator for the defense threaten to straight up kill his client, yet nothing ended with anyone saying, "Oh, yeah. we've got evidence of some fucking hardcore intimidation, better tell the Judge". It could be something that comes up in the other two sequels, but I lost interest really quickly. I like anime for the most part but sometimes I have a hard time watching some of it. I think I prefer anime series more than the one shot movies because they can establish a coherent story a little better. I wouldn't recommend against it, but it just wasn't for me.
Eshi: The combat in this movie is pretty fucking metal. For the most part however, Brian is right. Most of the is movie, which is one of three, fails to completely inspire. Between the weirdly sexualized protagonist and the general why-the-fuck of the storyline I'd give this one a miss if I could do it all over again.
1: Justice League: Gods and Monsters
I love superheroes in general; I am not the biggest comic nerd, but I can hold my own. I loved this movie. It was a great alternate universe version of the Justice League and their villains. Basically, Supes is the son of Zod not Jor-El which makes him a little more cool with violence, Batman is a vampire created from a failed cancer cure, and Wonder Woman is a superpowered God/alien with a sweet ass sword and a troubled history. Together these three run the justice league, and are hated because they don't mind dropping someone who is a bad guy. Its an interesting take on the universe. I know there are a few more from this series coming out, and I will definitely watch them. I feel like DC saw Marvel going family friendlier with their movies and universe and said, hey lets go the other way. The animation was very similar to the animation of the Batman animated series I watched when I was a kid, so It felt nostalgic, and the background of the characters kept them pretty fresh. It was a good combination. The movie focuses a lot on establishing the series universes' backstory, so hopefully the other movies will expand the story a little more. I heartily recommend this movie to anyone who is a fan of super heroes, and wants something a little different.
Eshi: For the most part I'm not a huge DC fan, as is so often the case I think some of the villains are really cool, but typically only around the frayed edges of their canon. This was everything good there has ever been about DC. Superman is forceful, uncompromising and bears the confidence his ridiculous fucking powers ought to bring, all the while still being compassionate and goodhearted. Batman, voiced by the wonderful Michael C. Hall, is a very fucking welcome break from the standard borderline sociopathic Bruce Wayne. Wonder Woman manages to be a colossal bad ass without completely caving to the spectacularly disappointing flusterpation that WW so often suffers from. Gods and Monsters was superbly done and I encourage its viewing.
2: The Emperor's New Groove
This was a movie from 2000 about a selfish emperor of the Incans named Kuzco who gets betrayed by another official named Yzma when he fires her. She tries to poison him but instead turns him into a llama. Antics ensue. Its a fun movie, though not without its faults. There is a deus ex machina type edit later in the movie that they break the fourth wall to point out. as a movie meant for kids you are probably not meant to poke to many holes in it, so I will digress for now. I am not a fan, per se, of David Spade, but his douchiness helped a lot in this role. I have also pointed out how much I love John Goodman in the past, and he doesn't disappoint. Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton are also great. I would suggest going back and watching this movie if you haven't seen it in a while, it still holds up in some funny ways, though it is far from perfect.
Eshi: New Groove was a lot of fun, no matter how much I loathe the psychotic racist mouse god that spawned it. The cast was great, the jokes were cute and the story managed to avoid going completely saccharine. Patrick Warburton deserves more money. That is all.
3: Mardock Scramble: The First Compression
I have odd feelings about this movie. Its not bad, but it wasn't for me. The story revolves around a revived murder victim who is to be used as a witness in a trial. She gets a robot mouse that can turn into anything to help her defend herself from the men trying to kill her to keep her from testifying. The technology is cool, the world environment could be interesting, but the story gets a little out of hand, and some basic questions never get answered. The one that hit me the most was if the investigator has video of the guy committing the murder, and the mouse thing that can record everything sees the investigator for the defense threaten to straight up kill his client, yet nothing ended with anyone saying, "Oh, yeah. we've got evidence of some fucking hardcore intimidation, better tell the Judge". It could be something that comes up in the other two sequels, but I lost interest really quickly. I like anime for the most part but sometimes I have a hard time watching some of it. I think I prefer anime series more than the one shot movies because they can establish a coherent story a little better. I wouldn't recommend against it, but it just wasn't for me.
Eshi: The combat in this movie is pretty fucking metal. For the most part however, Brian is right. Most of the is movie, which is one of three, fails to completely inspire. Between the weirdly sexualized protagonist and the general why-the-fuck of the storyline I'd give this one a miss if I could do it all over again.
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