I've always been fascinated by the interplay of morality and ethics, as anyone whose been with us a while could probably attest to. Its not really just those two things, but they provide an easy shortcut for what I tend to think of as Personal Good and Social Good, and demonstrate the tension between the two pretty fucking effectively.
Personal Good is your moral code, but its also your personal philosophy on life. How you choose to live and the reasons you make those choices. Social Good, to me, is a simultaneously simpler and more nuanced topic. As far as I'm concerned the purpose of society is to ensure the greatest joy possible to its constituents, there was once a time when it was a survival mechanism, but adherence to that model is a relic of a shitty tribal impulse that we deeply need to get the fuck over. Notice, "greatest joy possible to its constituents." Not as many as possible. All. The entire reason we band together in groups is to benefit as a fucking group. With that in mind I tend to consider things in terms of freedom to pursue joy. At which point I come quite quickly to the old Lockean maxim (though I hate to lean on a dead man's words), "Your right to swing your fist ends at the next man's face" (in some book, presumably by John Locke).
In terms of the Social Good, that is pretty much absolute to me. To phrase it another way, your right to act as you please is inversely proportional to the amount of harm it causes. Not some esoteric, "moral fiber" bullshit. Harm. Non-consensual, unnecessary physical or psychological damage to other living things. Non-consensual, meaning any party is either unwilling or unable to freely and intentionally participate. Unnecessary, meaning not required for the continuation of one's own existence; harvesting to eat (meat or vegetation, provided the entire process is humane), harming in reasonable self-defense, and doing harm to protect another are all either allowable or encouraged depending.
Now, obviously this is a hierarchy, but its a subjective one. For me the Social Good tends to win out, you've got to reign in your darker impulses (impulses that tend to get justified by the Personal Good) or you make the world a worse place for everybody. There's no reason for that, a little more effort and a little forethought opens up a lot of possibilities for beneficial cooperation. I get that that isn't how everyone looks at it, many people put Personal Good first, either because its an easier starting point and they don't examine the issue much, or because they make the decision that their own way is the superior way. Most of the time this isn't really a problem honestly. People are by and large vanilla enough that their way doesn't have enough of an impact generally to be terribly concerned about in the long run. Either because their thing is close enough to the Social Good that it doesn't matter or because they never get up the gumption to bother doing anything anti-social.
However, some people are poison, they don't just put themselves first, they seek to fuck others over. And that is where the question becomes interesting. These people are unequivocally cunts, the little tiny pieces of shit that get lodged in a cultures colon and rot it slowly to a suppurating cancer, and their stupid shit saw us through some of the nastiest periods in history. Asshole behavior makes society worse as a whole, but selfishness dramatically increases the rate of survival in adverse environments. So it gets passed down, held on to. Not by everybody, but by enough to demonstrate success and spread, like successful strategies do.
I find that whole interaction to be deeply intellectually engaging. Seeing the wheels of society turn on conflicting and complex cogs of community and cock-knockery, as heartbreaking as it is to watch swathes of the population slowly try to shit the world to death, its almost hypnotizing. But just because a behavior is successful, doesn't mean its worthy, and just because a thing is hypnotizing doesn't mean you should sit back and watch it happen.
Monday, August 15, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
Home Again, Home Again
Holy shit, I'm home! Its been a long and joyful two weeks out and about in the universe but its always good to return to one's own bed. My ladywife and I spent a lesurely two weeks in Prague, punctuated by an all too short weekend in Amsterdam. Of course, for me the rest of my ridiculously charmed life would be too short a stay in Amsterdam, so I'll take what I can get quite gladly. Prague is a beautiful city, with gorgeous architecture and amazing food... that for some reason never really clicked with me. No one's fault, no hard feelings, just couldn't quite find my stride there. That said, if the opportunity arises, definitely go. Seriously, the food is incredible and the cost of living is downright comfortable. The people are a little... brusque, but people suck all over (though they seem to suck a good bit less in Amsterdam) and they seem to lighten up after a couple of the readily available and fantastic beers.
I do feel the need to make a serious comment, however. I spent a prodigious amount of time going from airport to airport this trip, 10 flights in two weeks, and I never felt less safe than when I was returning to this country. We laidover or stayed in half a dozen countries and, with the exception of my own, the border process was streamlined, respectful and complete. Get scanned, confirm your identity, carry on. However, on every occasion upon entering the U.S. the world became a very hostile place. A conspicuous proliferation of armed guards (a disconcerting number of whom had assault rifles), poorly trained K-9 units jumping and snapping at frightened civilians while their handlers laughed. State mandated molestation and intimidation. I couldn't help but feel ashamed at what we've let them do to us under the auspices of guaranteeing safety they do not provide. I really don't want to be preachy about it, but it was a viscerally disturbing experience and I hope one that goes quickly in to the annals of the history of abandoned ideas. Everybody travel safe out there.
I do feel the need to make a serious comment, however. I spent a prodigious amount of time going from airport to airport this trip, 10 flights in two weeks, and I never felt less safe than when I was returning to this country. We laidover or stayed in half a dozen countries and, with the exception of my own, the border process was streamlined, respectful and complete. Get scanned, confirm your identity, carry on. However, on every occasion upon entering the U.S. the world became a very hostile place. A conspicuous proliferation of armed guards (a disconcerting number of whom had assault rifles), poorly trained K-9 units jumping and snapping at frightened civilians while their handlers laughed. State mandated molestation and intimidation. I couldn't help but feel ashamed at what we've let them do to us under the auspices of guaranteeing safety they do not provide. I really don't want to be preachy about it, but it was a viscerally disturbing experience and I hope one that goes quickly in to the annals of the history of abandoned ideas. Everybody travel safe out there.
Monday, June 6, 2016
I Promise I Don't Know Anyone At CD Projeckt Red
Lately I've been playing Blood and Wine for The Witcher 3, and if there is one thing that can't be stressed enough about the expansion its that its fucking breathtaking. I'm not using that word lightly. I do not fuck about when I play games, I am a hard story/hard action player. Not happy unless I'm learning something relevant or killing something interesting. On at least three occasions in as many days I have stopped dead whatever quest or personal slaughter quota I was engaged in, lined up a specific view, and just had Geralt meditate until the moment when the light would be best to really experience a particular vista. The Witcher is a pretty fucking glorious game just generally, and the whole game is beautiful, but Toussaint is heartbreakingly gorgeous. To the point that just riding along a random coast road is a moving experience worthy of comment.
With the expansion they added a goddamn plethora of tiny UI and graphical improvements, cleaned up the crafting system by adding a badly needed buy option for materials that you don't have but the smith does. Though sadly it appears they didn't carry that into the alchemist shops, which given the the fact that you can do that yourself I can sort of understand. They also added an homage to the mutagen systems in the previous games by opening up the option to modify Geralt's mutation with some skills that almost make me alright with the fact that this is the third game in a contiguous series and you start at level fucking one.
So far Blood and Wine lives up to the hype entirely as far as I'm concerned. It's funny, engaging, vast, and displays an emotional landscape that takes the already vibrant and sympathetic characters that the series does so well and elevates them about as near as you can and still have them be fictional. There are games that I've had more fun playing, there are games that have scratched similar itches better, But I think B&W takes The Witcher 3 pretty handily to the #1 spot on my favorites list. Like ever.
With the expansion they added a goddamn plethora of tiny UI and graphical improvements, cleaned up the crafting system by adding a badly needed buy option for materials that you don't have but the smith does. Though sadly it appears they didn't carry that into the alchemist shops, which given the the fact that you can do that yourself I can sort of understand. They also added an homage to the mutagen systems in the previous games by opening up the option to modify Geralt's mutation with some skills that almost make me alright with the fact that this is the third game in a contiguous series and you start at level fucking one.
So far Blood and Wine lives up to the hype entirely as far as I'm concerned. It's funny, engaging, vast, and displays an emotional landscape that takes the already vibrant and sympathetic characters that the series does so well and elevates them about as near as you can and still have them be fictional. There are games that I've had more fun playing, there are games that have scratched similar itches better, But I think B&W takes The Witcher 3 pretty handily to the #1 spot on my favorites list. Like ever.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we dove into some comedies to lighten up our current trend of movies. It ended up having a couple other themes that were partially unintentional. First is the redeemable asshole theme, and second was Bill Murray. This was a fun week. To the list!
1: Groundhog Day
I love this movie, mostly because Bill Murray is great, but also because I like the base premise. A TV weatherman is stuck in an infinite loop of a location shoot for a Groundhog day festival. It has been described as the perfect Buddhist movie, and I can see why. A man continually relives the same day over and over again, constantly understanding the world more and more. The movie starts off with Bill Murray over-indulging in vices, but soon becomes bored with it and starts improving himself and acting for other's benefit until he breaks the cycle. Besides that kind of nifty (and according to IMDB unintentional) interpretation, it is just a fun movie. It makes the most of Murray's style of sarcastic humor really well, and shows off how this type of situation might actually play out. If you kept repeating the same day over and over again, would you try to become a master of everything you could? Its a delightful movie with a good cast (Andie MacDowell and Murray have some good chemistry) and a nifty message, check it out.
Eshi: Groundhog Day has everything that makes Bill Murray great; he's sharp, sarcastic, witty, cruel, touching, charming, crude. Its beautiful. One of the things that I particularly enjoyed, especially in the Buddhist context, is how at no point does Murray's character evolve on his own. Every moment of epiphany, from his initial hedonistic plunge to his inexorable enlightenment, is accompanied by the gentle guidance of Andie MacDowell's character. I really enjoy that his personal evolution only takes place because of other people. It has definitely earned its status.
2: Kingpin
Kingpin is another one of those stories where a disgraced sports hero helps a "young" talent make it to the big leagues. Where kingpin differs is that it doesn't treat the premise with any real sense of seriousness. This is a Farrelly brothers movie after all, and the sport is bowling, something that isn't considered a sport by most of the populace. A bunch of this particular movie trope popped up after this one, and while I know this wasn't the first to do it, I know that it was the first I saw that was done like this. I really liked Randy Quaid in this movie, though I think that Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson are far funnier than he is. Vanessa Angel's character kind of disappoints me a little. She basically disappears from the movie just as her plot starts to actually resolve until the end of the film, and I can kinda get why, but I think the relationship with Harrelson's character could have been explored more (two broken people forming a relationship via mutual understanding and support, but I don't think that's the point of the movie, so I see why the didn't). Its a fun movie, check it out.
Eshi: Oh Randy Quaid, what the fuck man. I'm not sure anyone else could have pulled off his character in this. I don't know what it is about being crazier than the bear that fucked the porcupine that lends itself so well to wide-eyed naiveté but it's the best. Brian is right, Vanessa Angel's role was a bit of a wasted opportunity. I like Woody Harrelson but I always have a hard time believing him as an asshole, I can't not see him as an affable stoner, but I guess thats more my fault than his. It's also pretty amazing how Bill Murray can always make a skeezy douchebag fun, even at his most hate-able he's still charming.
3: Caddyshack
Caddyshack is about a kid who wants to go to college, working though the summer at a golf course to pay for his education. That being said the movie changes gears constantly and that story falls by the wayside and the movie becomes more and more about the wacky people who populate the club. I think there is a good reason for this. The side characters have far more personality and charisma than the leading man, and are Chevey Chase, Bill Murray, and fucking Rodney Dangerfield. This is a movie I saw when I was probably too young, though that's the case with most movies I have seen, and rewatching it now was a little odd. It wasn't as funny as I remember it being, though the jokes I didn't get as a kid were far funnier now. Its an odd feeling, challenging nostalgia. That being said, its still a very funny movie and you should check it out.
Eshi: Caddyshack tells the story of a fuck-hungry young man that nobody gives a fuck about trying to schmooze his way into college. This is all about the big names. Rodney Dangerfeild is a dynamo, Chevey Chase is a dick, and Bill Murray proves his ability to straight up make a character pretty much just by showing up. It's a ball to watch, though I can understand how it might have diminished with time.
1: Groundhog Day
I love this movie, mostly because Bill Murray is great, but also because I like the base premise. A TV weatherman is stuck in an infinite loop of a location shoot for a Groundhog day festival. It has been described as the perfect Buddhist movie, and I can see why. A man continually relives the same day over and over again, constantly understanding the world more and more. The movie starts off with Bill Murray over-indulging in vices, but soon becomes bored with it and starts improving himself and acting for other's benefit until he breaks the cycle. Besides that kind of nifty (and according to IMDB unintentional) interpretation, it is just a fun movie. It makes the most of Murray's style of sarcastic humor really well, and shows off how this type of situation might actually play out. If you kept repeating the same day over and over again, would you try to become a master of everything you could? Its a delightful movie with a good cast (Andie MacDowell and Murray have some good chemistry) and a nifty message, check it out.
Eshi: Groundhog Day has everything that makes Bill Murray great; he's sharp, sarcastic, witty, cruel, touching, charming, crude. Its beautiful. One of the things that I particularly enjoyed, especially in the Buddhist context, is how at no point does Murray's character evolve on his own. Every moment of epiphany, from his initial hedonistic plunge to his inexorable enlightenment, is accompanied by the gentle guidance of Andie MacDowell's character. I really enjoy that his personal evolution only takes place because of other people. It has definitely earned its status.
2: Kingpin
Kingpin is another one of those stories where a disgraced sports hero helps a "young" talent make it to the big leagues. Where kingpin differs is that it doesn't treat the premise with any real sense of seriousness. This is a Farrelly brothers movie after all, and the sport is bowling, something that isn't considered a sport by most of the populace. A bunch of this particular movie trope popped up after this one, and while I know this wasn't the first to do it, I know that it was the first I saw that was done like this. I really liked Randy Quaid in this movie, though I think that Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson are far funnier than he is. Vanessa Angel's character kind of disappoints me a little. She basically disappears from the movie just as her plot starts to actually resolve until the end of the film, and I can kinda get why, but I think the relationship with Harrelson's character could have been explored more (two broken people forming a relationship via mutual understanding and support, but I don't think that's the point of the movie, so I see why the didn't). Its a fun movie, check it out.
Eshi: Oh Randy Quaid, what the fuck man. I'm not sure anyone else could have pulled off his character in this. I don't know what it is about being crazier than the bear that fucked the porcupine that lends itself so well to wide-eyed naiveté but it's the best. Brian is right, Vanessa Angel's role was a bit of a wasted opportunity. I like Woody Harrelson but I always have a hard time believing him as an asshole, I can't not see him as an affable stoner, but I guess thats more my fault than his. It's also pretty amazing how Bill Murray can always make a skeezy douchebag fun, even at his most hate-able he's still charming.
3: Caddyshack
Caddyshack is about a kid who wants to go to college, working though the summer at a golf course to pay for his education. That being said the movie changes gears constantly and that story falls by the wayside and the movie becomes more and more about the wacky people who populate the club. I think there is a good reason for this. The side characters have far more personality and charisma than the leading man, and are Chevey Chase, Bill Murray, and fucking Rodney Dangerfield. This is a movie I saw when I was probably too young, though that's the case with most movies I have seen, and rewatching it now was a little odd. It wasn't as funny as I remember it being, though the jokes I didn't get as a kid were far funnier now. Its an odd feeling, challenging nostalgia. That being said, its still a very funny movie and you should check it out.
Eshi: Caddyshack tells the story of a fuck-hungry young man that nobody gives a fuck about trying to schmooze his way into college. This is all about the big names. Rodney Dangerfeild is a dynamo, Chevey Chase is a dick, and Bill Murray proves his ability to straight up make a character pretty much just by showing up. It's a ball to watch, though I can understand how it might have diminished with time.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Zero Provocation
I have weird feelings about gaming journalism. On one hand we greatly enjoy the services, both journalistic and recreational, of folks like Jim Sterling, Laura Dale, and Yahtzee Croshaw. Jim Sterling in particular is an eloquent and earnest consumer advocate whom I greatly admire. On the other hand, a great deal of time and money has been dedicated to creating a powerful, public-facing back-feed loop in the area of games media. The sheer shameless, entitled corruption in mainstream gaming journalism has been so pervasive and so resented for so many years that it periodically gets tied to some asscheese's personal beef with someone in the industry by gossamer threads and we all go on a merry hatebinge for a week or so.
The good works and great joy contributed by the bad-ass PCs mentioned previously give me something very much like hope. It could just be an erection, but I'm pretty sure hope is involved. It's hard not be jaded about it though. I've been gaming since my fingers were big enough to push the buttons, and for most of that time gamers have been losing some really important battles to corporate profits. We've seen a couple big wins over the years; the slow, steady grinds towards greater inclusion and acceptance, towards better transparency in the industry and towards gaming as a positive force in the world.
Unfortunately, we've also suffered some pretty heavy consumer defeats. The hype-machine of mainstream games journalism has contributed to the success of anti-consumer standards for years, they've been selling out and selling us out since the console wars.
So really, I guess I don't have weird feelings about games journalism. I have a deep love and appreciation for games journalists and the work they do on our behalf, and an articulated, slow-fucking hateboner for the corporate schills who've consistently collaborated with those who would do harm. So pretty much like regular journalism.
The good works and great joy contributed by the bad-ass PCs mentioned previously give me something very much like hope. It could just be an erection, but I'm pretty sure hope is involved. It's hard not be jaded about it though. I've been gaming since my fingers were big enough to push the buttons, and for most of that time gamers have been losing some really important battles to corporate profits. We've seen a couple big wins over the years; the slow, steady grinds towards greater inclusion and acceptance, towards better transparency in the industry and towards gaming as a positive force in the world.
Unfortunately, we've also suffered some pretty heavy consumer defeats. The hype-machine of mainstream games journalism has contributed to the success of anti-consumer standards for years, they've been selling out and selling us out since the console wars.
So really, I guess I don't have weird feelings about games journalism. I have a deep love and appreciation for games journalists and the work they do on our behalf, and an articulated, slow-fucking hateboner for the corporate schills who've consistently collaborated with those who would do harm. So pretty much like regular journalism.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we have such sights to show you, with Hellraiser 1-3. This is another one of the catch up weeks. I had seen the first Hellraiser and one of the other ones (I thought it was 2, but I was wrong) and Eshi hadn't seen any. I have odd feelings about the series because I like this kind of gory body horror, but it gets very silly very quickly. I also know that there are 8 sequels, which might be too many. Anyway, to the list!
1: Hellraiser
Hellraiser is a movie written and directed by Clive Barker, and is a wonderful example of why body horror is great. This movie introduced the world to Cenobites, demons who used to be people who were transformed by an obsession with sensation. The story isn't super complex, but it sounds odd. Basically, there is a puzzle box that if you solve it, opens a gate to hell and a bunch of Cenobites come out and torture you to death. Hellraiser deals with a guy who accidentally escapes from this torture and convinces an old lover to kill people so he can be fully resurrected. Antics Ensue. For the time the effects are great and Andrew Robinson plays a great bad guy (he played Garak in DS9). Its a good movie if you like gore and creepy villains. Doug Bradley is also great as pinhead. There's a reason the character is so popular. Check it out if you like some good old fashioned body horror.
Eshi: I kinda feel like Hellraiser is inspired by the kind of porn watched by lovecraftian cultists. Pleasures man wasn't meant to know making monsters out of viscera and cum. Doug Bradley builds the character of Pinhead well, well enough to earn the cult following these films have gathered. Watching shitty person after shitty person get chain fucked into oblivion is a surprisingly resilient pleasure, as a full week of Hellraiser movies has attested to. The concept behind the Cenobites is joyous to me, both in their sensation seeking and in their relative neutrality. Hellraiser opens on the Cenobites being summoned by a willing (if ill-advised) man, torturing him for the psychedelic sadomasochistic pleasures of one and all, and then politely cleaning up after themselves and going back to hell. Those motherfuckers are classy, as movie monsters go.
2: Hellbound: Hellraiser II
I like when sequels show off how the first movie impacted the world, and also add some context for the events of the first movie. In this case Hellraiser II shows the mental damage that the events of the first movie had on the heroine while also showing us the backstory of Pinhead and how Cenobites are made. It also includes a Doctor that had been obsessed with the puzzle boxes and cenobites and uses his influence to get all of the victims he can so that he can research them. Its a take on the Cthulian cultist and it makes him a very fun character to watch. Its not as good as the first movie but it gives you more of an interesting world, and fills in some interesting mythology. Its a fun movie, check it out.
Eshi: Hellbound strengthened all of my lovecraftian theories about the series. A trend to continue (spoilers). There is a moment in the film that, to me, perfectly encompasses the moment when an investigator becomes a cultist. It's beautiful. I'm not super keen on any of the cast in this one except Doug Bradley, so he ends up carrying the film despite his relative lack of screen time. Really, the world building makes this one, and makes it one of the better attempts.
3: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
I have a feeling that this movie is where the series started to tailspin. An investigative reporter starts looking into the death of a person due to hooked chains. This event causes her to become embroiled in a plan Pinhead has to break into reality permanently. The movie started out very similarly to the first two but goes out of fucking control when an army of cenobites start fucking shit up in the real world. Terry Farrel, who was also in DS9 as Jadzia Dax, plays Joey, the investigative journalist, is a competent actress and this movie throws a lot of shit at her character which she handles well. Pinhead is really good in this movie, as both his pre and post cenobiting incarnations, and kind of made watching the movie worth it. Its an interesting film, but the flood of silly cenobites made the ending a little laughable. Check it out if you saw the first two, but don't expect to much.
Eshi: There is a Cenobite that is also a robotic cd player, and that is probably the most indicative thing I can say about Hell on Earth.
1: Hellraiser
Hellraiser is a movie written and directed by Clive Barker, and is a wonderful example of why body horror is great. This movie introduced the world to Cenobites, demons who used to be people who were transformed by an obsession with sensation. The story isn't super complex, but it sounds odd. Basically, there is a puzzle box that if you solve it, opens a gate to hell and a bunch of Cenobites come out and torture you to death. Hellraiser deals with a guy who accidentally escapes from this torture and convinces an old lover to kill people so he can be fully resurrected. Antics Ensue. For the time the effects are great and Andrew Robinson plays a great bad guy (he played Garak in DS9). Its a good movie if you like gore and creepy villains. Doug Bradley is also great as pinhead. There's a reason the character is so popular. Check it out if you like some good old fashioned body horror.
Eshi: I kinda feel like Hellraiser is inspired by the kind of porn watched by lovecraftian cultists. Pleasures man wasn't meant to know making monsters out of viscera and cum. Doug Bradley builds the character of Pinhead well, well enough to earn the cult following these films have gathered. Watching shitty person after shitty person get chain fucked into oblivion is a surprisingly resilient pleasure, as a full week of Hellraiser movies has attested to. The concept behind the Cenobites is joyous to me, both in their sensation seeking and in their relative neutrality. Hellraiser opens on the Cenobites being summoned by a willing (if ill-advised) man, torturing him for the psychedelic sadomasochistic pleasures of one and all, and then politely cleaning up after themselves and going back to hell. Those motherfuckers are classy, as movie monsters go.
2: Hellbound: Hellraiser II
I like when sequels show off how the first movie impacted the world, and also add some context for the events of the first movie. In this case Hellraiser II shows the mental damage that the events of the first movie had on the heroine while also showing us the backstory of Pinhead and how Cenobites are made. It also includes a Doctor that had been obsessed with the puzzle boxes and cenobites and uses his influence to get all of the victims he can so that he can research them. Its a take on the Cthulian cultist and it makes him a very fun character to watch. Its not as good as the first movie but it gives you more of an interesting world, and fills in some interesting mythology. Its a fun movie, check it out.
Eshi: Hellbound strengthened all of my lovecraftian theories about the series. A trend to continue (spoilers). There is a moment in the film that, to me, perfectly encompasses the moment when an investigator becomes a cultist. It's beautiful. I'm not super keen on any of the cast in this one except Doug Bradley, so he ends up carrying the film despite his relative lack of screen time. Really, the world building makes this one, and makes it one of the better attempts.
3: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
I have a feeling that this movie is where the series started to tailspin. An investigative reporter starts looking into the death of a person due to hooked chains. This event causes her to become embroiled in a plan Pinhead has to break into reality permanently. The movie started out very similarly to the first two but goes out of fucking control when an army of cenobites start fucking shit up in the real world. Terry Farrel, who was also in DS9 as Jadzia Dax, plays Joey, the investigative journalist, is a competent actress and this movie throws a lot of shit at her character which she handles well. Pinhead is really good in this movie, as both his pre and post cenobiting incarnations, and kind of made watching the movie worth it. Its an interesting film, but the flood of silly cenobites made the ending a little laughable. Check it out if you saw the first two, but don't expect to much.
Eshi: There is a Cenobite that is also a robotic cd player, and that is probably the most indicative thing I can say about Hell on Earth.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Getting The Poison Out
Last week was slow, sorry about that. Just one of those weeks where there aren't any fucks to spare. We'll see if this week manages to surpass the legacy of the last one.
I'm bad at finishing things. Pretty much always have been. I think its a weird side effect of a deep and formative abandonment complex. I can hardly bare to read a book all the way through for feeling like I'm losing something. It's probably got something to do with a more than healthy sense of sloth too, but it's not just that. I feel like finishing something is putting it behind you in a way I'm uncomfortable with. Like you're putting aside something that you've given a bit of yourself to. I don't know, it's strange to write about.
When I take on a project; a story, designing a game, running a campaign, I feel fantastic. I love the idea of creating something, leaving even a small good thing in the world. But then there comes a point where I can see the end of the thing and I shut down. I don't know how to just let a thing be done and move on with my life, so I get all fuckheaded and lose the vision. Even if I do manage to finish a project of any consequence it falls apart at the end because I'm too messed up by then to wrap it up elegantly. I'm working on it but the more I explore the anxiety, the more things it seems to tie to. It's disheartening to see how much of my life, how many people I care about, have been affected by my panicked death grip on the objects of my affection. The terrible fear that the things I love will leave me.
I hate that last sentence. It's been slowly ruining my life since I was a child. Writing it makes my heart drop. Because its a self-fulfilling prophesy. I can't stand to finish a project and be done with something I've invested myself in, so I poison my own projects. I'm so terrified of losing the people I care about I freak out and risk driving them away. I feel like its getting better but the more I work on it the bigger it seems, hopefully attention bias. I know this is kind of a masturbatory post, but this is where I write things I'm thinking about. I don't know, fuck it.
I'm bad at finishing things. Pretty much always have been. I think its a weird side effect of a deep and formative abandonment complex. I can hardly bare to read a book all the way through for feeling like I'm losing something. It's probably got something to do with a more than healthy sense of sloth too, but it's not just that. I feel like finishing something is putting it behind you in a way I'm uncomfortable with. Like you're putting aside something that you've given a bit of yourself to. I don't know, it's strange to write about.
When I take on a project; a story, designing a game, running a campaign, I feel fantastic. I love the idea of creating something, leaving even a small good thing in the world. But then there comes a point where I can see the end of the thing and I shut down. I don't know how to just let a thing be done and move on with my life, so I get all fuckheaded and lose the vision. Even if I do manage to finish a project of any consequence it falls apart at the end because I'm too messed up by then to wrap it up elegantly. I'm working on it but the more I explore the anxiety, the more things it seems to tie to. It's disheartening to see how much of my life, how many people I care about, have been affected by my panicked death grip on the objects of my affection. The terrible fear that the things I love will leave me.
I hate that last sentence. It's been slowly ruining my life since I was a child. Writing it makes my heart drop. Because its a self-fulfilling prophesy. I can't stand to finish a project and be done with something I've invested myself in, so I poison my own projects. I'm so terrified of losing the people I care about I freak out and risk driving them away. I feel like its getting better but the more I work on it the bigger it seems, hopefully attention bias. I know this is kind of a masturbatory post, but this is where I write things I'm thinking about. I don't know, fuck it.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we are continuing our quest to fill in gaps with some Hitchcock. Hitchcock is considered to be one of the better directors, and I can see why. He has some great ways of filming scenes and his ability to generate tension is great. I loved this week. To the list!
1: The Birds
I saw this movie when I was in middle school, and it has stuck with me since then. The Birds is an interesting horror movie premise because it takes something that is always in the background and makes it the danger. In the movie Psycho, Norman Bates even says that birds are naturally passive so it makes them seem non-threatening. This is the very basis of what makes good horror, and this was my first real example of that. The scenes where like 500 birds are all standing around, watching, are still chilling to this day. There isn't a bit of soundtrack in the movie, which also makes the bird's screeches stand out more. Though the story seems a little contrived. It's basically a romantic comedy that turns into a horror movie. Tippi Hedren's character is a stalker, no doubt about it, but that's ok because the guy she is stalking wants to bone her. Other than the odd setup, its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: The Birds is the heartwarming tale of two unhinged fancy people courting disconcertingly over a backdrop of rural bird-murder. Hitchcock does a great job of making the innocuous stupidity of seagulls and turn it into dead-eyed malice. It's kinda like the reverse of Full Metal Jacket, the first bit is pretty banal and dead, much like I image the lives of the characters are, but then half way through it turns into a different movie, one where people get fucked up by egg-laying demons from the sky. I quite enjoyed The Birds in all, definitely give it a shot.
2: Psycho
Psycho starts out as a woman trying to escape after committing a crime. She hides out in a motel and then shit gets crazy. Anthony Perkins makes this movie. Everyone in it is good, but he is great. He's charming, disarming and unsettling all at once, and it makes him one of the best psychopaths in movie history. I also loved the way that Hitchcock used a narration track to show what Janet Leigh's character thought other people thought of her. It is an interesting way of going about showing the turmoil a character is feeling. The movie is tense and full of depth, it is fantastic. I know that this movie is well known for its twist but just in case you haven't seen it I don't want to talk about it here. Watch it.
Eshi: Psycho is kind of a delightful downward spiral. Things consistently get worse for pretty much everyone and it culminates in deep crazy in a way that was revolutionary for the time. As Brian said, Anthony Perkins is the soul of this film, though the fact that he then goes on to be involved in a Hitchcock-free Psycho 2 and 3 is somewhat discouraging. Psycho is a legendary piece of cinema and it deserves it.
3: Rope
I am disappointed in myself for not having seen this movie before. It is fantastic. The movie was shot in only a few long shots/takes (read the IMDB trivia page for some interesting stuff on that) which explains some of the odd shots that they do for transitions. Rope is about two people who kill a man because he is "intellectually inferior" to them. One of the men, who planned the whole thing, decides to throw a party afterwords to flaunt how perfect his crime is. One of the guests that he invites (James Stewart) figures out that something is wrong and spends the rest of the movie piecing the murder together. Jimmy Stewart is great, and plays an amazing character. His monologue at the end of the film is great and adds a good amount of weight to the preceding. John Dall also plays an amazing bad guy, even though he makes some very stupid mistakes. This movie is a great, tense, thriller that you should watch, if you like that kind of thing.
Eshi: This movie could alternately be titled "Pride Cometh Before the Fall" or "Nice Try Asshole". Jimmy Stewart is fucking phenomenal as the keen, misanthropic professor, and his overall chemistry shines with very nearly everyone on set. The whole film is peppered with agonizing shots and dialog as everyone at the party just barely edges around finding out the truth. Fucking masterful, watch it.
1: The Birds
I saw this movie when I was in middle school, and it has stuck with me since then. The Birds is an interesting horror movie premise because it takes something that is always in the background and makes it the danger. In the movie Psycho, Norman Bates even says that birds are naturally passive so it makes them seem non-threatening. This is the very basis of what makes good horror, and this was my first real example of that. The scenes where like 500 birds are all standing around, watching, are still chilling to this day. There isn't a bit of soundtrack in the movie, which also makes the bird's screeches stand out more. Though the story seems a little contrived. It's basically a romantic comedy that turns into a horror movie. Tippi Hedren's character is a stalker, no doubt about it, but that's ok because the guy she is stalking wants to bone her. Other than the odd setup, its a good movie, check it out.
Eshi: The Birds is the heartwarming tale of two unhinged fancy people courting disconcertingly over a backdrop of rural bird-murder. Hitchcock does a great job of making the innocuous stupidity of seagulls and turn it into dead-eyed malice. It's kinda like the reverse of Full Metal Jacket, the first bit is pretty banal and dead, much like I image the lives of the characters are, but then half way through it turns into a different movie, one where people get fucked up by egg-laying demons from the sky. I quite enjoyed The Birds in all, definitely give it a shot.
2: Psycho
Psycho starts out as a woman trying to escape after committing a crime. She hides out in a motel and then shit gets crazy. Anthony Perkins makes this movie. Everyone in it is good, but he is great. He's charming, disarming and unsettling all at once, and it makes him one of the best psychopaths in movie history. I also loved the way that Hitchcock used a narration track to show what Janet Leigh's character thought other people thought of her. It is an interesting way of going about showing the turmoil a character is feeling. The movie is tense and full of depth, it is fantastic. I know that this movie is well known for its twist but just in case you haven't seen it I don't want to talk about it here. Watch it.
Eshi: Psycho is kind of a delightful downward spiral. Things consistently get worse for pretty much everyone and it culminates in deep crazy in a way that was revolutionary for the time. As Brian said, Anthony Perkins is the soul of this film, though the fact that he then goes on to be involved in a Hitchcock-free Psycho 2 and 3 is somewhat discouraging. Psycho is a legendary piece of cinema and it deserves it.
3: Rope
I am disappointed in myself for not having seen this movie before. It is fantastic. The movie was shot in only a few long shots/takes (read the IMDB trivia page for some interesting stuff on that) which explains some of the odd shots that they do for transitions. Rope is about two people who kill a man because he is "intellectually inferior" to them. One of the men, who planned the whole thing, decides to throw a party afterwords to flaunt how perfect his crime is. One of the guests that he invites (James Stewart) figures out that something is wrong and spends the rest of the movie piecing the murder together. Jimmy Stewart is great, and plays an amazing character. His monologue at the end of the film is great and adds a good amount of weight to the preceding. John Dall also plays an amazing bad guy, even though he makes some very stupid mistakes. This movie is a great, tense, thriller that you should watch, if you like that kind of thing.
Eshi: This movie could alternately be titled "Pride Cometh Before the Fall" or "Nice Try Asshole". Jimmy Stewart is fucking phenomenal as the keen, misanthropic professor, and his overall chemistry shines with very nearly everyone on set. The whole film is peppered with agonizing shots and dialog as everyone at the party just barely edges around finding out the truth. Fucking masterful, watch it.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Shameful Self-promotion
So I wrote a weird little story. Its a little long to post here so its up here instead. Give it a read if you've got a minute.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to fill in some cultural gaps for Eshi by watching the Indiana Jones Trilogy. Now, I saw these movies when I was like, 12. I remember liking them a lot. I mean, Han Solo, running around being an archeologist, hell yes. There is no denying the cultural impact of these movies, and the disappointment from the fourth was probably felt a little harder because of what we had come to expect from the series. Regardless, lets take a look at the good ones. To the list!
1: Raiders of The Lost Ark
One of the first things I noticed about rewatching this at my age; did Indy rape Marion? Is Indy a pedophile? Here, this is their entire exchange (taken from IMDB):
1: Raiders of The Lost Ark
One of the first things I noticed about rewatching this at my age; did Indy rape Marion? Is Indy a pedophile? Here, this is their entire exchange (taken from IMDB):
Indiana:
Hello, Marion.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.
[Marion surprises him with a right cross to the jaw]
Marion: I've learned to hate you in the last ten years!
Indiana: I never meant to hurt you.
Marion: I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it!
Indiana: You knew what you were doing.
Marion: Now I do. This is my place. Get out!
This is an uncomfortable thing that popped up in our rewatching of raiders that I didn't see when I was younger, and it kind of lends a fucked up flavor to the rest of the movie. Regardless, I just wanted to point it out in case any one else might have forgotten about it. Raiders is a pretty good movie about an "archeologist" working for the U.S. government and tasked with finding the ark of the covenant before the Nazis because it might be a weapon. Harrison Ford is really good at playing a rogue archetype. He has the looks and the charisma to pull it off well, which is why he also flourished as Han Solo. While the movie takes some pretty extreme liberties with archeology, it's still fun to watch. Like its sequels, you cannot take it to seriously. These movies are meant to be pulp-y adventures and Raiders catches that feeling well. Chases are over the top, the fights are exciting, and the movie revels in bombastic set pieces. The cast is good, and have good chemistry together. Its a fun movie, that influenced so much in cinema that it should be watched just to see the influence it lends.
Eshi: I've ignored the whole Indiana Jones franchise for years. Didn't watch it as a kid until the unspeakable fourth one came out, and that kinda poisoned me against the rest of the series. Recently, as Brian said, I've been trying to fill in some of my cinematic gaps. So we decided Indy had to happen. Raiders was lots of fun. Harrison Ford, as a tomb-raiding archeologist in a world where the average I.Q. is down thirty or forty points on average, is the lovable, bumbling douchebag so many action stars wish they could pull off. You end up liking him despite yourself, implied sexual exploitation and everything. It's worth the watch on a lazy weekend.
2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
I am not really a fan of this movie. It feels too much like the people who made it wanted to make a more child friendly movie than raiders to expand the demographic. That being said, there is some gruesome shit in this movie that makes it not ok for kids. People are ripped apart by gators at one point. The main bad guy rips the heart out of someone's chest and the burns them alive (long story involving evil magic). This movie was the weakest in the trilogy until they decided to not make it a trilogy anymore. It seems a little too much like "white guy saves the day" for me, and I don't think it has a great grasp on the religion it portrays (why the hell was a voodoo doll in this movie?). That being said, some of the chase scenes are fun and the movie is at least watchable. Also, what the hell happened to Short Round? This movie takes place a year before raiders, but he is not in that movie at all. Just saying. Anyway, check it out.
Eshi: Racism is out of control. Temple of Doom develops an auto-fellatio problem that only seems to worsen as the franchise continues. ToD is a prequel, which has the unfortunate side effect of making Dr. Jones in the first movie an even bigger piece of shit. Indy isn't just an affable dickhead anymore, he's a willingly deluded (watches a dude murder people with his racist hate magic, still doesn't believe in all the "hocus pocus"), multiple-kidnapper (Short Round is a fucking street urchin that Indy just kinda takes, and he literally holds Kate Capshaw's character hostage in order to extort/escape from fucking mobsters), whose most endearing feature is a meme. Feel free to skip this one.
3: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
I really like this movie. Some of the "puzzles" that get solved don't make sense (the roman numeral one in particular seemed stupid) and how Indiana speaks English in Nazi Germany and isn't arrested didn't make sense, but it is still a fun movie. After watching all those James Bond movies it was nice to see Sean Connery as a bumbler. Connery is a great actor, and he has a lot of fun with this role. I found it odd that they made one of the Nazis seem like they might turn around and be a good guy but then just drops that and kills them off. The movie still remains action packed with some great chase scenes. I love it when a movie just decides to go over the top and does so well. It's so easy for that to get out of hand and dumb, but Last Crusade handles the action with finesse (most of the time). This movie is fun, check it out. Also, remember your Charlemagne.
Eshi: I feel like Sean Connery kinda saved this movie. Indy continues his decent into masturbatory material for Spielberg and Lucas, wandering ever farther into the land of unintentional competence porn. Allison Doody has no chemistry with Harrison Ford whatsoever, which makes his persistent molestation, and her apparent apathy, uncomfortable. Connery, however, is just the right amount of clueless nerd, confusedly stumbling through hostile situations, too oblivious to acknowledge his own immanent peril. Last Crusade is back to fun, despite it's flaws. Maybe give it a go.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.
[Marion surprises him with a right cross to the jaw]
Marion: I've learned to hate you in the last ten years!
Indiana: I never meant to hurt you.
Marion: I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it!
Indiana: You knew what you were doing.
Marion: Now I do. This is my place. Get out!
This is an uncomfortable thing that popped up in our rewatching of raiders that I didn't see when I was younger, and it kind of lends a fucked up flavor to the rest of the movie. Regardless, I just wanted to point it out in case any one else might have forgotten about it. Raiders is a pretty good movie about an "archeologist" working for the U.S. government and tasked with finding the ark of the covenant before the Nazis because it might be a weapon. Harrison Ford is really good at playing a rogue archetype. He has the looks and the charisma to pull it off well, which is why he also flourished as Han Solo. While the movie takes some pretty extreme liberties with archeology, it's still fun to watch. Like its sequels, you cannot take it to seriously. These movies are meant to be pulp-y adventures and Raiders catches that feeling well. Chases are over the top, the fights are exciting, and the movie revels in bombastic set pieces. The cast is good, and have good chemistry together. Its a fun movie, that influenced so much in cinema that it should be watched just to see the influence it lends.
Eshi: I've ignored the whole Indiana Jones franchise for years. Didn't watch it as a kid until the unspeakable fourth one came out, and that kinda poisoned me against the rest of the series. Recently, as Brian said, I've been trying to fill in some of my cinematic gaps. So we decided Indy had to happen. Raiders was lots of fun. Harrison Ford, as a tomb-raiding archeologist in a world where the average I.Q. is down thirty or forty points on average, is the lovable, bumbling douchebag so many action stars wish they could pull off. You end up liking him despite yourself, implied sexual exploitation and everything. It's worth the watch on a lazy weekend.
2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
I am not really a fan of this movie. It feels too much like the people who made it wanted to make a more child friendly movie than raiders to expand the demographic. That being said, there is some gruesome shit in this movie that makes it not ok for kids. People are ripped apart by gators at one point. The main bad guy rips the heart out of someone's chest and the burns them alive (long story involving evil magic). This movie was the weakest in the trilogy until they decided to not make it a trilogy anymore. It seems a little too much like "white guy saves the day" for me, and I don't think it has a great grasp on the religion it portrays (why the hell was a voodoo doll in this movie?). That being said, some of the chase scenes are fun and the movie is at least watchable. Also, what the hell happened to Short Round? This movie takes place a year before raiders, but he is not in that movie at all. Just saying. Anyway, check it out.
Eshi: Racism is out of control. Temple of Doom develops an auto-fellatio problem that only seems to worsen as the franchise continues. ToD is a prequel, which has the unfortunate side effect of making Dr. Jones in the first movie an even bigger piece of shit. Indy isn't just an affable dickhead anymore, he's a willingly deluded (watches a dude murder people with his racist hate magic, still doesn't believe in all the "hocus pocus"), multiple-kidnapper (Short Round is a fucking street urchin that Indy just kinda takes, and he literally holds Kate Capshaw's character hostage in order to extort/escape from fucking mobsters), whose most endearing feature is a meme. Feel free to skip this one.
3: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
I really like this movie. Some of the "puzzles" that get solved don't make sense (the roman numeral one in particular seemed stupid) and how Indiana speaks English in Nazi Germany and isn't arrested didn't make sense, but it is still a fun movie. After watching all those James Bond movies it was nice to see Sean Connery as a bumbler. Connery is a great actor, and he has a lot of fun with this role. I found it odd that they made one of the Nazis seem like they might turn around and be a good guy but then just drops that and kills them off. The movie still remains action packed with some great chase scenes. I love it when a movie just decides to go over the top and does so well. It's so easy for that to get out of hand and dumb, but Last Crusade handles the action with finesse (most of the time). This movie is fun, check it out. Also, remember your Charlemagne.
Eshi: I feel like Sean Connery kinda saved this movie. Indy continues his decent into masturbatory material for Spielberg and Lucas, wandering ever farther into the land of unintentional competence porn. Allison Doody has no chemistry with Harrison Ford whatsoever, which makes his persistent molestation, and her apparent apathy, uncomfortable. Connery, however, is just the right amount of clueless nerd, confusedly stumbling through hostile situations, too oblivious to acknowledge his own immanent peril. Last Crusade is back to fun, despite it's flaws. Maybe give it a go.
Monday, April 11, 2016
Jolly Cooperation
Dark Souls 3 comes out tomorrow, so this week might be a little sparse. And by a little sparse, I mean this is about what I plan on posting this week soooooo.... Good luck out there.
Friday, April 8, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we didn't watch any movies, instead we wanted to talk about a style of show that it is sad that we don't get to see in the US. Panel Shows are a British format that I have been watching somewhat obsessively. A panel show is essentially a game show where comedians sit on a panel and make jokes about the shows subject. The game part of it is mostly just an excuse to see funny people be funny. Some of them are great, so here is a list of a few of our favorites.To the list!~
1: QI
QI, which stands for Quite Interesting, is a show that combines charm, humor, and intelligence in one package. QI takes a bunch of comedians and challenges them to answer questions about history, science, and anything that is interesting. Stephen Fry hosts the show (at least until next season when he is being replaced by Sandy Toksvig, a frequent favorite on the show), and if you don't know who that is, I feel sorry for you. He is all of the things I said about the show, and really helped make it something I enjoy. It takes pride in taking things that are "common knowledge" and showing how and why those things are wrong. It is very smart, and amuses while educating. If you want to give it a shot, almost all of it is on Youtube, so check it out.
2: 8 out of 10 Cats
8 out of 10 Cats is an odd show that has two formats, both of which are fun and hosted by British funnyman Jimmy Carr. The original run of the show is a panel of comedians riffing about polls, which is a lot better than it sounds. The second run of the show is the cast doing their version of another game show, Countdown, which a is a show where the contestants compete to complete math problems and word puzzles. The original version of Countdown didn't have any comedians at all in it, and it was boring as fuck, but giving it to a bunch of comedians was a great idea, and it instantly got better. Both versions of 8 out of 10 cats are worth checking out, and can be found on youtube.
3: Mock The Week
Mock The Week is one of the best news shows I have seen. Much like the name suggests, it takes a weeks worth of news and quizzes a bunch of comedians about it. The show is hosted by Dara O' Briain, who is one of my favorite comedians. The panels compete to see who can answer questions about the news, as well as compete in improv sets about the weeks issues. Its a fun show that introduced me to a bunch of comedians that are great. Check it out, almost all of it is on youtube as well.
4: Would I Lie to You
Would I Lie to You revolves around hosts Angus Deayton, and later Rob Brydon, team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mac, as well as a series of guests, who are made to tell personal stories that the opposing team has to guess at the truth of. It's better than it sounds, like so many of these shows, largely due to the ever-present comedians. David Mitchell is especially witty and Rob Brydon has a weird charisma. Youtube will, once again, provide.
1: QI
QI, which stands for Quite Interesting, is a show that combines charm, humor, and intelligence in one package. QI takes a bunch of comedians and challenges them to answer questions about history, science, and anything that is interesting. Stephen Fry hosts the show (at least until next season when he is being replaced by Sandy Toksvig, a frequent favorite on the show), and if you don't know who that is, I feel sorry for you. He is all of the things I said about the show, and really helped make it something I enjoy. It takes pride in taking things that are "common knowledge" and showing how and why those things are wrong. It is very smart, and amuses while educating. If you want to give it a shot, almost all of it is on Youtube, so check it out.
2: 8 out of 10 Cats
8 out of 10 Cats is an odd show that has two formats, both of which are fun and hosted by British funnyman Jimmy Carr. The original run of the show is a panel of comedians riffing about polls, which is a lot better than it sounds. The second run of the show is the cast doing their version of another game show, Countdown, which a is a show where the contestants compete to complete math problems and word puzzles. The original version of Countdown didn't have any comedians at all in it, and it was boring as fuck, but giving it to a bunch of comedians was a great idea, and it instantly got better. Both versions of 8 out of 10 cats are worth checking out, and can be found on youtube.
3: Mock The Week
Mock The Week is one of the best news shows I have seen. Much like the name suggests, it takes a weeks worth of news and quizzes a bunch of comedians about it. The show is hosted by Dara O' Briain, who is one of my favorite comedians. The panels compete to see who can answer questions about the news, as well as compete in improv sets about the weeks issues. Its a fun show that introduced me to a bunch of comedians that are great. Check it out, almost all of it is on youtube as well.
4: Would I Lie to You
Would I Lie to You revolves around hosts Angus Deayton, and later Rob Brydon, team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mac, as well as a series of guests, who are made to tell personal stories that the opposing team has to guess at the truth of. It's better than it sounds, like so many of these shows, largely due to the ever-present comedians. David Mitchell is especially witty and Rob Brydon has a weird charisma. Youtube will, once again, provide.
Monday, April 4, 2016
Nothing to do With Goats... This Time...
The more observant among you may have noticed that we have been in something of a creative slump. I can't really speak for Brian, but for me this is partly a matter of inspiration and partly a matter of sloth. The sloth bit is pretty self explanatory, I'm a lazy fuck and writing about something would require giving fucks that I frankly don't possess 90% of the time. Inspiration is trickier.
For me, writing without impulse is trying enough to provoke apathy. Now, I'm working on that, I want to care, the prospect of being creatively constructive is exciting to me. But a blank page is a daunting foe even without an blank head to accompany it. I've tried writing about current events, successfully demonstrating to myself that I'm not really capable of maintaining interest in pretty much any specific information for longer than it takes to convert that information into its general themes. Not that I don't care about the individuals involved in any particular "newsworthy" event, I'm just less concerned about them then I am about the likely root causes of whatever situation they inhabit. Most of which I've either thoroughly and frustratingly examined or about which I have nothing to say.
I've tried writing short fiction on here, and that was fun but largely aimless and so difficult to maintain. So in response to this aimlessness and apathy I've decided to write about being aimless and apathetic, because while I don't approve of self indulgence I am a firm advocate of masturbation.
I'm working on a D&D game, so I'll probably wander off and work on that soon. Hopefully, some good ol' world-building will refill my reserves and give me something to work with. Probably going to see a lot more random short fiction and Mounting Mythical Monsters from me in coming weeks. With any luck we'll all have some fun.
For me, writing without impulse is trying enough to provoke apathy. Now, I'm working on that, I want to care, the prospect of being creatively constructive is exciting to me. But a blank page is a daunting foe even without an blank head to accompany it. I've tried writing about current events, successfully demonstrating to myself that I'm not really capable of maintaining interest in pretty much any specific information for longer than it takes to convert that information into its general themes. Not that I don't care about the individuals involved in any particular "newsworthy" event, I'm just less concerned about them then I am about the likely root causes of whatever situation they inhabit. Most of which I've either thoroughly and frustratingly examined or about which I have nothing to say.
I've tried writing short fiction on here, and that was fun but largely aimless and so difficult to maintain. So in response to this aimlessness and apathy I've decided to write about being aimless and apathetic, because while I don't approve of self indulgence I am a firm advocate of masturbation.
I'm working on a D&D game, so I'll probably wander off and work on that soon. Hopefully, some good ol' world-building will refill my reserves and give me something to work with. Probably going to see a lot more random short fiction and Mounting Mythical Monsters from me in coming weeks. With any luck we'll all have some fun.
Friday, April 1, 2016
Weeklly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. Our theme was basically bat shit insane bible mythology, and wow, boy was it ever. This week our list is a bit shorter than usual, but both movies on it are pretty good, so, there is that. To the list!
1: He Never Died
He Never Died is about a guy who cannot die fucking up mafiosi because they won't stop knocking on his door. I wasn't sure about this movie until but a couple minutes in it grabbed my attention and had me loving it. HND is a horror comedy with some excellent practical effects, and some pretty funny scenes. Most of the comedy comes from the strange intensity or Henry Rollins, who plays the main character. While Mr. Rollins is pretty good the rest of the cast is only OK, but I think that has more to do with the direction rather than the script. Other than the Villain and the main character, every other character has pretty similar personalities, which does more harm than good in the long run. Also people act surprisingly sane when faced with some of the shit that happens in the movie. *spoiler* If I shoot a guy in the head and he keeps coming, I am not going to try to punch him, I'm going to fucking run. *end Spoilers*. Despite the negatives its still a fun movie to watch with some friends. Check it out.
Eshi: Henry Rollins is pretty fucking awesome, both in this film and generally. There's a pretty wide streak of "oh shit" in He Never Died, a streak I often find lacking in movies of this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's fun as hell, but it's no big budget blockbuster. Steven Ogg is in it and he's always a delight. HND is one of those movies where you don't want to share too much, not necessarily on grounds of spoilers but just because the whole experience deserves to be fresh, so give it a shot.
2: Let Us Pray
Let Us Pray is a bottle movie in a police station during the worst first day for any police officer ever. Damn near everyone in the small town in which this movie takes place is insane, and one man appears and starts to exacerbate it. The town's newest police officer then tries to survive all of the crazy that is brought to the surface. Man, with LUP and Filth, I don't think I would ever want to deal with Scottish police in any way. Liam Cunningham plays the devil, and does a good job of it. He is less the charismatic version of the devil and more the intense whisperer in the shadows who prods people into making poor decisions. I am a fan of Cunningham, and this is the kind of role he is great at. Pollyanna McIntosh plays the new police constable on duty and is a fine actress, though I would like to see what she could do with a better script. This movie is a little disappointing when it comes to the writing. There are a couple of ok moments in the movie, but the rest of it is just mediocre. The writing seems fairly average and there are some plot holes that I don't want to get too into here. Admittedly, I had high expectations going in, so I may be judging it a little harshly. Its an ok movie, so check it out if you have nothing better to do.
Eshi: The big draw for me on this movie is Liam Cunningham, he nails this role in ways it doesn't entirely deserve. LUP finds itself with an excess of concept and a dearth of delivery. The score is pretty fucking cliche, to the point of distraction, and the dialog comes off as weird quasi-theological fanfic in several unfortunately crucial places. I do really enjoy this movie, the violence is cathartic and Cunningham plays a Baali/Ravnos like a fucking boss, but I don't entirely feel good about it.
1: He Never Died
He Never Died is about a guy who cannot die fucking up mafiosi because they won't stop knocking on his door. I wasn't sure about this movie until but a couple minutes in it grabbed my attention and had me loving it. HND is a horror comedy with some excellent practical effects, and some pretty funny scenes. Most of the comedy comes from the strange intensity or Henry Rollins, who plays the main character. While Mr. Rollins is pretty good the rest of the cast is only OK, but I think that has more to do with the direction rather than the script. Other than the Villain and the main character, every other character has pretty similar personalities, which does more harm than good in the long run. Also people act surprisingly sane when faced with some of the shit that happens in the movie. *spoiler* If I shoot a guy in the head and he keeps coming, I am not going to try to punch him, I'm going to fucking run. *end Spoilers*. Despite the negatives its still a fun movie to watch with some friends. Check it out.
Eshi: Henry Rollins is pretty fucking awesome, both in this film and generally. There's a pretty wide streak of "oh shit" in He Never Died, a streak I often find lacking in movies of this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's fun as hell, but it's no big budget blockbuster. Steven Ogg is in it and he's always a delight. HND is one of those movies where you don't want to share too much, not necessarily on grounds of spoilers but just because the whole experience deserves to be fresh, so give it a shot.
2: Let Us Pray
Let Us Pray is a bottle movie in a police station during the worst first day for any police officer ever. Damn near everyone in the small town in which this movie takes place is insane, and one man appears and starts to exacerbate it. The town's newest police officer then tries to survive all of the crazy that is brought to the surface. Man, with LUP and Filth, I don't think I would ever want to deal with Scottish police in any way. Liam Cunningham plays the devil, and does a good job of it. He is less the charismatic version of the devil and more the intense whisperer in the shadows who prods people into making poor decisions. I am a fan of Cunningham, and this is the kind of role he is great at. Pollyanna McIntosh plays the new police constable on duty and is a fine actress, though I would like to see what she could do with a better script. This movie is a little disappointing when it comes to the writing. There are a couple of ok moments in the movie, but the rest of it is just mediocre. The writing seems fairly average and there are some plot holes that I don't want to get too into here. Admittedly, I had high expectations going in, so I may be judging it a little harshly. Its an ok movie, so check it out if you have nothing better to do.
Eshi: The big draw for me on this movie is Liam Cunningham, he nails this role in ways it doesn't entirely deserve. LUP finds itself with an excess of concept and a dearth of delivery. The score is pretty fucking cliche, to the point of distraction, and the dialog comes off as weird quasi-theological fanfic in several unfortunately crucial places. I do really enjoy this movie, the violence is cathartic and Cunningham plays a Baali/Ravnos like a fucking boss, but I don't entirely feel good about it.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to watch some standup comedy specials. Not a lot to talk about in the intro other than this might have been a bad idea since there isn't a lot we can to to talk about the specials without ruining them. Well anyway: to the list!
1: Funny Business
Jimmy Carr is a British comedian, and while not my favorite, he is pretty funny. For me personally his comedy specials always pale in comparison to him just improving on panel shows (basically game shows starring comedians for those of you who don't know). Carr is known for his acerbic tone in his comedy, and a master of the false setup kind of joke (the kind that play off of the misconceptions of the crowd). This special is his latest one, released on netflix. Its funny, though I kind of had an issue with it in that he spends half the special just playing off of jokes people tweeted to him. He is funny with it, but it seems a little lazy, which is sad because I know how funny he can be. That said, the rest of the show is great, and his banter with the audience is fun. Give it a watch, you'll enjoy it.
Eshi: Jimmy Carr does a hell of a one-liner, and his crowd work is pretty top shelf, but I feel like he wasn't really ready to do a special. As Brian said, there is a disappointingly long part of the set that's pretty much just him reading other people's tweets, which seems like cheating at best. He carries on the proud tradition of U.K. comedians and delightfully casual vulgarity. I'm genuinely impressed at the myriad ways Jimmy can mock someone sexually. Funny Business was alright, but maybe try his show.
2: Comedy Camisado
Hannibal Buress is a great comedian who makes me a little sad because his career is not exploding as quickly as a lot of other modern comedians. He deserves a lot more work, though I would say that about most comedians nowadays. That being said, every time he has been in something he has been good. He did get some attention for bringing up the Bill Cosby rape accusations prior to them becoming very public. His take on the world is great, and he has some excellent stories. His special was solid, I don't think its his best, but definitely worth the watch. Check it out.
Eshi: I really enjoy Hannibal Buress' stand up, but I think I prefer him as a writer. He's pretty much always a funny fucker but as a writer he can channel that funny through contextually more amusing people without having to draw on real life. An ability that will serve him well in trying to be widely recognized as something other than the guy who started the Cosby thing. Hannibal does damn fine work, and I look forward to seeing more of it.
3: Nice Try, The Devil
Pete Holmes is great. I first saw him on college humor with his "Badman" videos, and instantly loved him. He had a talk show for a couple seasons on TBS where he did more Badman like sketches that were great, but unfortunately he got cancelled. His show was great. It focused a lot on positive mindsets and how dumb jokes should be reveled in because they can make you feel better. He is a fun comedian to watch because he is very animated, and you can see how much fun he is having just being a comedian. Watch it.
Eshi: Pete Holmes always kinda seems like a refugee from Cool World, but like in a good way. The man is a cartoon version of himself and he deserves your goddamn admiration. He seems to genuinely love making people laugh and derives a clear joy from his own jokes that can't help but be infectious. This is a link to his youtube page, because I love you and I want you to have a good day.
1: Funny Business
Jimmy Carr is a British comedian, and while not my favorite, he is pretty funny. For me personally his comedy specials always pale in comparison to him just improving on panel shows (basically game shows starring comedians for those of you who don't know). Carr is known for his acerbic tone in his comedy, and a master of the false setup kind of joke (the kind that play off of the misconceptions of the crowd). This special is his latest one, released on netflix. Its funny, though I kind of had an issue with it in that he spends half the special just playing off of jokes people tweeted to him. He is funny with it, but it seems a little lazy, which is sad because I know how funny he can be. That said, the rest of the show is great, and his banter with the audience is fun. Give it a watch, you'll enjoy it.
Eshi: Jimmy Carr does a hell of a one-liner, and his crowd work is pretty top shelf, but I feel like he wasn't really ready to do a special. As Brian said, there is a disappointingly long part of the set that's pretty much just him reading other people's tweets, which seems like cheating at best. He carries on the proud tradition of U.K. comedians and delightfully casual vulgarity. I'm genuinely impressed at the myriad ways Jimmy can mock someone sexually. Funny Business was alright, but maybe try his show.
2: Comedy Camisado
Hannibal Buress is a great comedian who makes me a little sad because his career is not exploding as quickly as a lot of other modern comedians. He deserves a lot more work, though I would say that about most comedians nowadays. That being said, every time he has been in something he has been good. He did get some attention for bringing up the Bill Cosby rape accusations prior to them becoming very public. His take on the world is great, and he has some excellent stories. His special was solid, I don't think its his best, but definitely worth the watch. Check it out.
Eshi: I really enjoy Hannibal Buress' stand up, but I think I prefer him as a writer. He's pretty much always a funny fucker but as a writer he can channel that funny through contextually more amusing people without having to draw on real life. An ability that will serve him well in trying to be widely recognized as something other than the guy who started the Cosby thing. Hannibal does damn fine work, and I look forward to seeing more of it.
3: Nice Try, The Devil
Pete Holmes is great. I first saw him on college humor with his "Badman" videos, and instantly loved him. He had a talk show for a couple seasons on TBS where he did more Badman like sketches that were great, but unfortunately he got cancelled. His show was great. It focused a lot on positive mindsets and how dumb jokes should be reveled in because they can make you feel better. He is a fun comedian to watch because he is very animated, and you can see how much fun he is having just being a comedian. Watch it.
Eshi: Pete Holmes always kinda seems like a refugee from Cool World, but like in a good way. The man is a cartoon version of himself and he deserves your goddamn admiration. He seems to genuinely love making people laugh and derives a clear joy from his own jokes that can't help but be infectious. This is a link to his youtube page, because I love you and I want you to have a good day.
Monday, March 21, 2016
Decency Isn't Genetic
Brian and I don't really talk much about family on here. Sure there's the occasional dig at the filthy, manipulative cunt-basket that my wife clawed herself out of in infancy. And every once in a while I'll write an unintelligible screed about the poor fucks who don't understand about genitals. But actual discussion of family is pretty limited. Now, this is partially because, with the noted exception of my father, we've all pretty much cut ties with our families. I'm not going to talk about the reasons for that, less because it isn't any of your fucking business what kind of shitty people spawned us and more because it would be an almost tragically short post. Instead, I going to talk about the other reason we don't talk about it much. Those people aren't really family.
I'm not talking about some kind of cultish, "We're your family now; here's your 'punch'", kinda thing. I do legitimately value the concept of family, a group of people upon whom you are supposed to be able to intrinsically rely, I just feel like that structure is entirely too important to be left to the capriciousness of fate. In my experience the people who share your blood are more likely to be the people to fuck you over hardest, both because they have the access and because you're less likely to be truly prepared for it. The worst bit is that most of the time the "family" that ruins you doesn't even understand the damage they've done. Because being betrayed or used by blood isn't just your casual exploitation, its your framework for society. If you can't trust your relatives then what chance does some fucking stranger have? No, fuck that. We all need a support network and sharing a sexually viable ancestor at whatever point in history is presently convenient is an insufficient metric by which to organize.
Beyond that is the question of affection. If I'm going to trust someone enough to turn to them in my time of strife I'd really rather actually like that person. I make it a policy not to go out of my way to deal with people I don't enjoy in general, and that goes double for people I'm related to. Life is too short and too unpredictable to devote time and effort to maintaining relationships with people you don't like.
I recently had a transaction with a man I've met fewer times than I have fingers who was my mother's brother. I'm ambivalent about him, but I dislike his SO in a fashion so natural and effortless that it would literally take me more effort to not give a fuck. He was gobstruck that not only is this an acceptable standpoint to me (me! this man he'd met a few times years ago, the scandal of it), but that I didn't feel as though it should have a meaningful effect on either of our lives. We hadn't spoken to each other in years and had never shared an experience more significant than eating in the same building, if it wasn't for the fact that the alcoholic racist that raised him also raised one of the people who raised me I wouldn't even be expected to remember his name. Much less give a fuck about his wife.
We've chosen, instead of all that bullshit, to be adults and make the hard choices. To decide who to care about and to make the effort to nourish those relationships to the point where those people aren't just worthy of the trust we're putting in them, they extend the same trust in return. There might not be as many of us, but we love each other. Not because of what some relative strangers did to each other before we existed, but because we found people who we wanted to share that with.
I'm not talking about some kind of cultish, "We're your family now; here's your 'punch'", kinda thing. I do legitimately value the concept of family, a group of people upon whom you are supposed to be able to intrinsically rely, I just feel like that structure is entirely too important to be left to the capriciousness of fate. In my experience the people who share your blood are more likely to be the people to fuck you over hardest, both because they have the access and because you're less likely to be truly prepared for it. The worst bit is that most of the time the "family" that ruins you doesn't even understand the damage they've done. Because being betrayed or used by blood isn't just your casual exploitation, its your framework for society. If you can't trust your relatives then what chance does some fucking stranger have? No, fuck that. We all need a support network and sharing a sexually viable ancestor at whatever point in history is presently convenient is an insufficient metric by which to organize.
Beyond that is the question of affection. If I'm going to trust someone enough to turn to them in my time of strife I'd really rather actually like that person. I make it a policy not to go out of my way to deal with people I don't enjoy in general, and that goes double for people I'm related to. Life is too short and too unpredictable to devote time and effort to maintaining relationships with people you don't like.
I recently had a transaction with a man I've met fewer times than I have fingers who was my mother's brother. I'm ambivalent about him, but I dislike his SO in a fashion so natural and effortless that it would literally take me more effort to not give a fuck. He was gobstruck that not only is this an acceptable standpoint to me (me! this man he'd met a few times years ago, the scandal of it), but that I didn't feel as though it should have a meaningful effect on either of our lives. We hadn't spoken to each other in years and had never shared an experience more significant than eating in the same building, if it wasn't for the fact that the alcoholic racist that raised him also raised one of the people who raised me I wouldn't even be expected to remember his name. Much less give a fuck about his wife.
We've chosen, instead of all that bullshit, to be adults and make the hard choices. To decide who to care about and to make the effort to nourish those relationships to the point where those people aren't just worthy of the trust we're putting in them, they extend the same trust in return. There might not be as many of us, but we love each other. Not because of what some relative strangers did to each other before we existed, but because we found people who we wanted to share that with.
Monday, March 14, 2016
The Finer Points of Pixel Husbandry
I've been playing quite a bit of Stardew Valley lately, and its probably the best money I've spent on a game in years. Normally I don't have any surplus fucks to contribute to farming sims, too often they're painfully vanilla and heavily geared towards cutesy kiddy bullshit. I get that there is a certain fuck-headed percentage of the population that feels that games should be composed of cutesy kiddy bullshit as games are for children, and I acknowledge that these brain damaged, corporate collaborator cumstains exist and are entitled to their stupid, self-oppressive opinions. I'm going to let my personal feelings concerning those fine fucking failures live firmly between the lines and instead discuss why I love Stardew Valley.
First, Stardew leads off with a direct self-reference. You start the game slogging through a life of soulless toil in a call center. Then you receive a letter from your recently dead grandfather that you are only to open in the event of an inescapable ennui, a letter that contains a glorious escape in the form of a dilapidated farm. Saying out right, "oh, you need to get away from the painful mundanity of your life, here's a little farm for you to work on to make you feel better." A tactic that beats the hell out of the sense of forced obligation in so many of the Harvest Moon games or magical shenanigans that tend to accompany the Rune Factory franchise.
Second, and this could be a little spoilery, the characters are treated like people. The Mayor of the town is casually fucking the local cow-seller, one of the sexy-options congratulates the character on their stick handling prowess in a way that comes off as a pretty aggressive masturbation joke. It even stays pretty true to life in that most of the teenage characters are massive fucking cunts.
Finally, it doesn't really give a fuck who you fuck. Stardew is one of the painfully few games with a relationship system that doesn't discriminate on orientation. Wanna bone down with Fabio the fisherman? Do it, we don't care what bits you have. Like the nerdy biracial girl? Feel free to go to town with the genitals of your choosing. I know its a small thing, but I have a nasty pet peeve about games that enforce the character's sexuality.
Stardew Valley is a simple, relaxing game that manages to be approachable without reducing its tone to that of a shrill idiot child, and that's exactly what I've been looking for lately. It feels good to play a game that delivers on its premise without being uncomfortable.
First, Stardew leads off with a direct self-reference. You start the game slogging through a life of soulless toil in a call center. Then you receive a letter from your recently dead grandfather that you are only to open in the event of an inescapable ennui, a letter that contains a glorious escape in the form of a dilapidated farm. Saying out right, "oh, you need to get away from the painful mundanity of your life, here's a little farm for you to work on to make you feel better." A tactic that beats the hell out of the sense of forced obligation in so many of the Harvest Moon games or magical shenanigans that tend to accompany the Rune Factory franchise.
Second, and this could be a little spoilery, the characters are treated like people. The Mayor of the town is casually fucking the local cow-seller, one of the sexy-options congratulates the character on their stick handling prowess in a way that comes off as a pretty aggressive masturbation joke. It even stays pretty true to life in that most of the teenage characters are massive fucking cunts.
Finally, it doesn't really give a fuck who you fuck. Stardew is one of the painfully few games with a relationship system that doesn't discriminate on orientation. Wanna bone down with Fabio the fisherman? Do it, we don't care what bits you have. Like the nerdy biracial girl? Feel free to go to town with the genitals of your choosing. I know its a small thing, but I have a nasty pet peeve about games that enforce the character's sexuality.
Stardew Valley is a simple, relaxing game that manages to be approachable without reducing its tone to that of a shrill idiot child, and that's exactly what I've been looking for lately. It feels good to play a game that delivers on its premise without being uncomfortable.
Friday, March 11, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. Sorry for being gone for so long, but we are back with some new movies, and this week its some from our favorite genre: Crime. To the list!
1: Filth
I am a fan of Trainspotting so I was looking forward to watching this one, forgetting one of the major reasons I flinch every time Trainspotting is mentioned. This is a heavy movie, decorated with some laughs. Don't get me wrong dear reader, its a great movie. I was just blindsided by how bleak it is, considering the tone at the beginning. Filth is about a cop trying to manipulate his way to a higher position in his department. He is tasked with leading an investigation into the murder of a man, all the while dealing with a very pronounced mental instability issue. James McAvoy is great in the lead role. His character is undeniably a monster, but McAvoy is so charismatic that you cannot help but want to like the guy, and even sympathize with him when certain shit goes down. Its a good movie, but don't expect it to walk away joyful. Watch it.
Eshi: Fuck, man. Filth has an emotional trajectory like an orbital bombardment. Beautiful and evocative as it is, the beauty is morbid and the main thing it evokes is discomfort. McAvoy is perfectly set up to leverage his charm against the loathsome and pitiful character he plays, and his vast cast of victims are just the right combination of helpless and confrontational. Filth, like Trainspotting, hurts to watch, but you can't help but appreciate it. Just maybe have something a little lighter hearted lined up for after.
2: Scarface
This movie could also be called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Tony Montana". Scarface is a movie about a Cuban immigrant working his way to the top of the drug underworld in 1980s Miami. The moral being ruthlessness will get you power, but in the end it is an empty existence. Creating a position for yourself at the top gives you a beautiful wife and a nice house, but its all shallow and unfulfilling. Al Pachino is, as always, great at playing slightly unstable, shouty characters; so this role was made for him. The movie is slow in places, but ultimately its is good, and a great example of character based drama. Its a good movie, and worth watching for the cultural impact factor alone.
Eshi: The fact that anyone admires Tony Montana shows a fundamental failing in our culture. Rule #4 was made for fuckers like him. Scarface is 2 hours and 50 minutes of a spectacular douchebag fucking over everyone he possibly can for like, no reason. I can't even fully convey what a colossal piece of shit this character is. He's like an onion made of the worst diarrhea you've ever had, layer upon layer of pain and disgust. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but only because I knew how it ended. Fuck this guy, and everyone who looks like him.
3: Horrible Bosses
Considering the tone of the first two movies this week we decided to close out with something fun. HB is about three friends who decide to kill their bosses because they are making work terrible. While that sounds harrowing, it is made less so by the people all being fucking terrible at the whole killing people thing. I love the cast, and they have great chemistry together. Charlie Day in particular stands out to me, but that's just because I wish he was in more stuff. This movie is fun, as long as you don't take it seriously at all. Watch it with some buddies while drinking and you will have a good time.
Eshi: After Filth and Scarface we needed a pretty strong palette cleanser and Horrible Bosses did the job well. The characters are well crafted to their roles and watching Charlie Day and friends fail their way to victory is a joy. Of course, I'd watch Charlie Day shit furtively into a box if he got to write it himself. My only regret about this movie is that they made another one; which is a sentence I find myself using too often for comfort these days. Definitely give this one a try, preferably whilst intoxicated and certainly with friends.
1: Filth
I am a fan of Trainspotting so I was looking forward to watching this one, forgetting one of the major reasons I flinch every time Trainspotting is mentioned. This is a heavy movie, decorated with some laughs. Don't get me wrong dear reader, its a great movie. I was just blindsided by how bleak it is, considering the tone at the beginning. Filth is about a cop trying to manipulate his way to a higher position in his department. He is tasked with leading an investigation into the murder of a man, all the while dealing with a very pronounced mental instability issue. James McAvoy is great in the lead role. His character is undeniably a monster, but McAvoy is so charismatic that you cannot help but want to like the guy, and even sympathize with him when certain shit goes down. Its a good movie, but don't expect it to walk away joyful. Watch it.
Eshi: Fuck, man. Filth has an emotional trajectory like an orbital bombardment. Beautiful and evocative as it is, the beauty is morbid and the main thing it evokes is discomfort. McAvoy is perfectly set up to leverage his charm against the loathsome and pitiful character he plays, and his vast cast of victims are just the right combination of helpless and confrontational. Filth, like Trainspotting, hurts to watch, but you can't help but appreciate it. Just maybe have something a little lighter hearted lined up for after.
2: Scarface
This movie could also be called "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Tony Montana". Scarface is a movie about a Cuban immigrant working his way to the top of the drug underworld in 1980s Miami. The moral being ruthlessness will get you power, but in the end it is an empty existence. Creating a position for yourself at the top gives you a beautiful wife and a nice house, but its all shallow and unfulfilling. Al Pachino is, as always, great at playing slightly unstable, shouty characters; so this role was made for him. The movie is slow in places, but ultimately its is good, and a great example of character based drama. Its a good movie, and worth watching for the cultural impact factor alone.
Eshi: The fact that anyone admires Tony Montana shows a fundamental failing in our culture. Rule #4 was made for fuckers like him. Scarface is 2 hours and 50 minutes of a spectacular douchebag fucking over everyone he possibly can for like, no reason. I can't even fully convey what a colossal piece of shit this character is. He's like an onion made of the worst diarrhea you've ever had, layer upon layer of pain and disgust. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but only because I knew how it ended. Fuck this guy, and everyone who looks like him.
3: Horrible Bosses
Considering the tone of the first two movies this week we decided to close out with something fun. HB is about three friends who decide to kill their bosses because they are making work terrible. While that sounds harrowing, it is made less so by the people all being fucking terrible at the whole killing people thing. I love the cast, and they have great chemistry together. Charlie Day in particular stands out to me, but that's just because I wish he was in more stuff. This movie is fun, as long as you don't take it seriously at all. Watch it with some buddies while drinking and you will have a good time.
Eshi: After Filth and Scarface we needed a pretty strong palette cleanser and Horrible Bosses did the job well. The characters are well crafted to their roles and watching Charlie Day and friends fail their way to victory is a joy. Of course, I'd watch Charlie Day shit furtively into a box if he got to write it himself. My only regret about this movie is that they made another one; which is a sentence I find myself using too often for comfort these days. Definitely give this one a try, preferably whilst intoxicated and certainly with friends.
Monday, February 29, 2016
I Dare You M. Night
I goddamn loath M. Night Shyamalan. Not like I hate J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon, for genius abused. No, I hate Shyamalan for genius avoided. M. Night has the potential to be the greatest B movie director of all time. Its something that Brian and I talked about a little while ago that has stuck in the deepest place in my craw, because I kinda love B movies and his premises are perfect for the medium. So I've taken it upon myself to right this wrong and set the world right... re-imagining his movies as intentionally bad, instead of just depressing. Starting with The Village
The actual premise of this movie is an 18th century village is accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters. The twist is that the monsters are really the village elders in costumes who founded the village to escape modern life and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor social experiment. In my version its an 18th century village being accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters, but the twist is that the werewolves are actually the village elders in bad wigs, who founded the village to escape actual werewolves and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor sexual fantasies. Then at the end M. Night could get torn apart amidst a poorly choreographed werewolf/ history professor blood orgy. Actually, the whole movie could just be Shyamalan being slowly torn apart by people in tweed jackets and furry gloves and I'd pay to see it.
The actual premise of this movie is an 18th century village is accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters. The twist is that the monsters are really the village elders in costumes who founded the village to escape modern life and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor social experiment. In my version its an 18th century village being accosted by weird fucking werewolf monsters, but the twist is that the werewolves are actually the village elders in bad wigs, who founded the village to escape actual werewolves and exercise their creepily elaborate history professor sexual fantasies. Then at the end M. Night could get torn apart amidst a poorly choreographed werewolf/ history professor blood orgy. Actually, the whole movie could just be Shyamalan being slowly torn apart by people in tweed jackets and furry gloves and I'd pay to see it.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Mounting Mythical Monsters vol. 1: Manticores
Hokay. So I survived getting my face cored and now I'm a functional invalid for the better part of a month. That's fine and dandy but today I'd like to talk about why you should fuck a Manticore. Now, obviously there's the bragging rights that come along with sexually satisfying a murderous beast out of legend, but you've gotta look past that. Manticores aren't like the drunk chimera who volunteered for the frat party, they aren't going to get on board with your frivolous pride. You've gotta be respectful. Classy. Woo your quarry. You don't want to just sidle up and get to work, you'll get a barbed tail right to the grundle. Nobody wants that. So take your time and do it right.
As for why, lets start with the big ones. Three words: Magic. Fucking. Powers. That's right, its a little known fact that the orgasmic excretions of the adult Manticore contain several strains of STPs, or sexually transmitted powers. They change from beast to beast so you might get flight and the ability to control marsupials with your mind, or you might end up with the ability to summon tiny demons to rend the flesh from your foes. Kind of a mixed bag but magic powers are magic powers, take what you can get.
Secondly, their genitals are amazing. Soft in all the right places, firm yet supple. Interestingly laid out. You're never gonna get bored of Manticore bits. Not to mention they taste like fresh apples. Fuji on the females, macintosh on the males. Its great.
The third reason is a bit more nuanced. See, Manticores mate for life, but they have a genetic appreciation for polyamory. This means that while your new monstrous Persian fuck buddy will never leave you, should you decide you want to throw down with that hot Sphinx up the street, your Manticore is probably gonna be down. I mean they'll want to watch but trust me that just makes it better.
Finally, if you fuck a Manticore you naturally obtain a Manticore mount. Lets face it, if you're trying to ride a Manticore you want to ride a Manticore, which is good 'cause they're into it. The practicality of having an intimate relationship with your mode of transportation, especially when that transportation consists of a mythical winged lion with a big ass scorpion tail, can't be overstated. Traffic stops being a problem immediately, road rage has a way of taking care of itself suddenly, and seriously no one is going to get away with stealing your new ride.
So find yourself a Manticore and put in the work, its a tricky business but its well worth the effort. Just remember, they aren't great at oral sex. Three rows of razor sharp teeth does not make for a very friendly nibble.
As for why, lets start with the big ones. Three words: Magic. Fucking. Powers. That's right, its a little known fact that the orgasmic excretions of the adult Manticore contain several strains of STPs, or sexually transmitted powers. They change from beast to beast so you might get flight and the ability to control marsupials with your mind, or you might end up with the ability to summon tiny demons to rend the flesh from your foes. Kind of a mixed bag but magic powers are magic powers, take what you can get.
Secondly, their genitals are amazing. Soft in all the right places, firm yet supple. Interestingly laid out. You're never gonna get bored of Manticore bits. Not to mention they taste like fresh apples. Fuji on the females, macintosh on the males. Its great.
The third reason is a bit more nuanced. See, Manticores mate for life, but they have a genetic appreciation for polyamory. This means that while your new monstrous Persian fuck buddy will never leave you, should you decide you want to throw down with that hot Sphinx up the street, your Manticore is probably gonna be down. I mean they'll want to watch but trust me that just makes it better.
Finally, if you fuck a Manticore you naturally obtain a Manticore mount. Lets face it, if you're trying to ride a Manticore you want to ride a Manticore, which is good 'cause they're into it. The practicality of having an intimate relationship with your mode of transportation, especially when that transportation consists of a mythical winged lion with a big ass scorpion tail, can't be overstated. Traffic stops being a problem immediately, road rage has a way of taking care of itself suddenly, and seriously no one is going to get away with stealing your new ride.
So find yourself a Manticore and put in the work, its a tricky business but its well worth the effort. Just remember, they aren't great at oral sex. Three rows of razor sharp teeth does not make for a very friendly nibble.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)