Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to have some fun with 80s action movies. Over the top violence is great fun every once in a while, so if you are in the mood for that, check out some of this weeks picks. Don't expect a lot of realism with these movies and you will have a good time. To the list!
1: Big Trouble in Little China
BTiLC is a movie about a trucker helping his gambling buddy get his girlfriend back after she is kidnapped by a Chinese gang. The two get involved in a gang war against a gang who uses magic and other supernatural powers. This movie is fun, and it bucks trends of popular action films while still being a competent action film. The main character is cocky and over confident, which fucks him over several times (at least until the end of the film). Kurt Russell is great at playing the overconfident doofus, so the role was made for him.The main character doesn't even get the girl in the end. The action scenes are full of wire fighting and some good special effects. I think John Carpenter is one of the best at over the top special effects and this movie is a great example of that. Its a fun flick, watch it with some friends.
Eshi: Big Trouble is the standard "white guy saves the ethnics" trope when the white guy is John Wayne after a tragic DIY lobotomy accident. I love Kurt Russel, especially as the lucky incompetent, and this role is his fucking masterpiece. James Hong is delightful, as usual, the man plays a psychotic ancient sorcerer just as comfortably as he plays an ancient kung fu wizard. Kim Cattral is a little hammy but that stops really mattering after about ten minutes on screen. This film is worthy of a Saturday night, give it a shot.
2: Escape From New York
EFNY is a lot like BTiLC. Kurt Russel plays the main character, and it is written and directed by John Carpenter, but it is a far more serious film (on the surface at the very least). Snake Plissken is a criminal who is on his way to Manhattan, which has been turned into a super-prison. While he is being processed the President of the US crashlands on the island, and out of options, the police "ask" Snake to go onto the island and save the President in exchange for a pardon. This movie has some odd tonal issues. Its serious in some parts, i.e. the world will die to nuclear war if Snake fails, but at several points it just turns silly. At one point there is a musical number on Broadway about how New York Prison is fucked up. Regardless, its a fun movie, and another movie you should watch with friends.
Eshi: Escape from NY gave Hideo Kojima his first boner, and I'm weirdly okay with that. Snake Plissken is the painfully obvious inspiration for Solid Snake, and also the conceptual father of the "batman voice". He's also the president's only hope. Well, the president and some lady named Season with two lines in a Chock Full o' Nuts, but she gets dragged into a rape basement by a bunch of subterranean hobos. Isaac Hayes makes for a pretty believable murderous warlord and Harry Dean Stanton is as bewildered and interesting as always. This is one of those movies that I'm disappointed I hadn't seen yet, watch it if for no better reason than Kurt Russel gets to fight a giant with a nailbat.
3: Predator
This is another classic of the 80's, and one of the best action movies I have seen with two governors in it. A group of commandos is behind enemy lines when they realize that they are being hunted by something, and need to escape the jungle. With the combination of an invisible enemy and a harsh environment Predator is good at building tension. The cast is largely pretty good, and you can see why Ahhnold was popular in action back in the day. Carl Weathers' part is slightly ruined for me now though because of his character on Arrested Development. Its a great movie and a cultural touchstone that everyone should see at least once, especially if you want to find out what a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus looks like.
Eshi: I've just got to get it out of the way, Jesse "The Rapidly Cooling Body" Ventura is amazing in this movie. He's got like, five lines and they are all incomprehensibly macho. He's so many in this movie it gives him brain damage. Predator is another one of the action films that really walks the line between homophobic and thinly veiled gay porn. Not anywhere near as often or as aggressively as The Expendables, but its definitely there. Carl Weathers and Arnold have a strong but awkward chemistry that plays really well with the interaction between their characters. I feel like the random Hispanic woman was unnecessary, she isn't even really a love interest, she just serves as a one line local history dump and to kinda, sorta, almost justify Arnold's needless theory that the predator wont kill unarmed prey. It is a really fun action flick and has definitely earned its place in the pop culture annals.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
So you want to be a Kung Fu Legend
Last week Brian set to work trying to help melodramatically inclined achieve a higher level of villainous competence. I had a lot of fun reading it and talking about it with him, so in grand literary tradition I'm nabbing it. Now lets make a better breed of kung fu fighter.
1. Be an orphan: Its unfortunate but everyone knows that having parents is liability to any aspiring head-puncher. Probably something to do with all the hugs. So if you want to be a legend you're going to have to make sure you grow up alone. I recommend, starting at a young age, encouraging your parents to go out to fancy plays in bad neighborhoods or living in a region prone to banditry.
2. Get a (mediocre) Master: Now that your parents are no longer there providing standards of appropriate behavior you're going to want to find a Master to train you. You're going to be tempted to find the most well renowned instructor in the area. Fight that instinct. No-one gets to be the best by hard work and training under a competent teacher. You want to find a second or even third rate instructor, someone who will really go down hard if pressed. Which brings us go point three.
3. Get your Master killed: They don't necessarily have to die, but it's important that they're permanently crippled and you never really talk to them again. It doesn't have to be your fault, but its better if it is. Try spending all your time harassing strangers at the market or in the town square. Maybe invent elaborate stories about how your Master is invincible or how supreme the style they teach is, and make sure to really lean on the baseless arrogance you've no doubt developed by this point. Its only a matter of time before you piss someone off enough to ,at least, clear out your dojo and beat down your Master.
4. Go train on a mountain or some shit: So some clearly superior fighter has taken the bait and murdered the only person willing to teach your douche ass to fight. Now you need to swear revenge and go train somewhere secluded. Could be a mountain, or an undersea trench if you're feeling fucking frisky, what matters is there can be no chance of actually receiving practical experience fighting other human beings. Its really vital that during this period you develop no meaningful social skills or learn about strategies involved in fighting martial artists. Fight a bear or something, maybe some wolves or a giant squid or shark if you went with the marine punchologist option.
5. Have a mystical revelation (optional): Experiencing some kind of, at least pseudo-mystical, enlightenment isn't necessary to being a kung fu legend, but it is pretty much the only way to stand a chance of learning crazy fight-magic, so it is recommended.
6. Play an elaborate game of cat and mouse with your Master's killer: Now at this point its pretty even odds that you're the bad guy in this situation, but hey don't worry, some legends are dicks. What matters is that by this point there could be no possible way you aren't probably a complete kung fu badass. So its time to cash in that oath of revenge. But first you're going to want to throw them off balance. Spend some time being cordial with your nemesis. Not only will it add flavor to the inevitable confrontation it'll allow you the opportunity to study them and learn whatever probable fight-magic they used to beat your Master for you.
7. Vengeance!: Alright, its time for the moneyshot. Throw down with your foe wherever feels natural. The important bit is that you beat them in whatever way is most complete for the given foe. An arrogant or bloodthirsty enemy might be best served by a show of compassion, mercy. Strong, proud enemies should be crushed unequivocally, maybe even go easy on them. Ancient demons or evil sorcerers should probably just be killed or banished with whatever magic kick or sacred fisting you have lined up.
8. Wander: Now that you've done what you set out to do its time to wander the land doing whatever strikes your fancy. This can't be surprising, what with the dead parents and extended isolation from human contact. You're no longer really capable of effectively interfacing with society. Go out into the world and do good works or seek a worthy foe or something. It doesn't really matter, you're a legend or something, do what you want.
1. Be an orphan: Its unfortunate but everyone knows that having parents is liability to any aspiring head-puncher. Probably something to do with all the hugs. So if you want to be a legend you're going to have to make sure you grow up alone. I recommend, starting at a young age, encouraging your parents to go out to fancy plays in bad neighborhoods or living in a region prone to banditry.
2. Get a (mediocre) Master: Now that your parents are no longer there providing standards of appropriate behavior you're going to want to find a Master to train you. You're going to be tempted to find the most well renowned instructor in the area. Fight that instinct. No-one gets to be the best by hard work and training under a competent teacher. You want to find a second or even third rate instructor, someone who will really go down hard if pressed. Which brings us go point three.
3. Get your Master killed: They don't necessarily have to die, but it's important that they're permanently crippled and you never really talk to them again. It doesn't have to be your fault, but its better if it is. Try spending all your time harassing strangers at the market or in the town square. Maybe invent elaborate stories about how your Master is invincible or how supreme the style they teach is, and make sure to really lean on the baseless arrogance you've no doubt developed by this point. Its only a matter of time before you piss someone off enough to ,at least, clear out your dojo and beat down your Master.
4. Go train on a mountain or some shit: So some clearly superior fighter has taken the bait and murdered the only person willing to teach your douche ass to fight. Now you need to swear revenge and go train somewhere secluded. Could be a mountain, or an undersea trench if you're feeling fucking frisky, what matters is there can be no chance of actually receiving practical experience fighting other human beings. Its really vital that during this period you develop no meaningful social skills or learn about strategies involved in fighting martial artists. Fight a bear or something, maybe some wolves or a giant squid or shark if you went with the marine punchologist option.
5. Have a mystical revelation (optional): Experiencing some kind of, at least pseudo-mystical, enlightenment isn't necessary to being a kung fu legend, but it is pretty much the only way to stand a chance of learning crazy fight-magic, so it is recommended.
6. Play an elaborate game of cat and mouse with your Master's killer: Now at this point its pretty even odds that you're the bad guy in this situation, but hey don't worry, some legends are dicks. What matters is that by this point there could be no possible way you aren't probably a complete kung fu badass. So its time to cash in that oath of revenge. But first you're going to want to throw them off balance. Spend some time being cordial with your nemesis. Not only will it add flavor to the inevitable confrontation it'll allow you the opportunity to study them and learn whatever probable fight-magic they used to beat your Master for you.
7. Vengeance!: Alright, its time for the moneyshot. Throw down with your foe wherever feels natural. The important bit is that you beat them in whatever way is most complete for the given foe. An arrogant or bloodthirsty enemy might be best served by a show of compassion, mercy. Strong, proud enemies should be crushed unequivocally, maybe even go easy on them. Ancient demons or evil sorcerers should probably just be killed or banished with whatever magic kick or sacred fisting you have lined up.
8. Wander: Now that you've done what you set out to do its time to wander the land doing whatever strikes your fancy. This can't be surprising, what with the dead parents and extended isolation from human contact. You're no longer really capable of effectively interfacing with society. Go out into the world and do good works or seek a worthy foe or something. It doesn't really matter, you're a legend or something, do what you want.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we delved back into the the madness strewn adventures of Lovecraft with some Cthulian themed movies. Eshi and I love this type of movie. Lovecraft's way of doing horror affects the soul in a way that is very satisfying. Unfortunately, this week was a little weak...You'll see. To the list!
1: The Color Out of Space
COoS is about a young man traveling to Germany to find his father who has gone missing. While in Germany he meets a man who knew his father from the war who tells the son about their first meeting and why the land is bad around this area. I have mixed feelings about the movie. There is some overuse of CGI where practical effects could have been used instead. There is also a bit too much green screen, but neither really detracted from the movie by itself. I get when a movie is made and you don't have all the resources to do it right so I have been trying to not hold it against them. My favorite part of the movie was how it was in black and white and one of the subjects of the movie is a creature that emits an unnatural color, and to show this they always show the alien in color. Its an interesting way of handling that. The part of this movie that kind of ruined it for me is how boring it was. I like the base idea, and even where it went with it, but the movie just didn't capture my attention. Its not terrible, but its not great. Watch it, but don't expect to many surprises.
Eshi: Too much of this movie is reliant on the audience giving a fuck about things it gives us no reason to give a fuck about. For a movie about a guy looking for his dad, very little of it is concerned with either the guy or his dad. Basically, a bunch of weird shit happened to some people years ago and then some other people (like the aforementioned dad) stumble upon it and eventually the main character hears about it. As Brian says, it isn't terrible, we just aren't really given any opportunity to be interested, and considering the manic fascination that drives so much of Lovecraft's work, the lack is a painful one. I would go so far as to say don't bother with this one. Read the story though, just because this isn't a great adaptation doesn't mean the original doesn't deserve some attention.
2: Dagon
Dagon is based off of the Lovecraft story, The Shadow Over Innsmouth despite being named after another story. Dagon is a lot like Re-Animator in presentation. Its a little cheesy and over the top in ways that make the movie pulpy fun. The people who made this movie obviously had a lot of fun with it. The story is about Paul Marsh who, while on vacation off the coast of Spain with some friends and his S.O., is forced to go ashore when the boat he is on gets wrecked on a rock. While ashore he discovers the secret of Imboca and must escape a hoard of Fish-people. There is some memorable lines and some well done practical effects, though the acting is nothing to write home about. One complaint I have about this movie is when they show Dagon. Its a little cheesy and it gives a form to a type of monster that is better left nebulous. Don't expect high art, and you will enjoy this movie. Watch it with some friends and drinks and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Fucking fish-cults man, they ruin everything.
3: Shadows on the Wall
I hate bad movies. Not because they are bad, but because they make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. This is a bad movie. The main story is interesting and I think could have been quite good, but the execution was bad. You can miss this one. Eshi wanted to go into detail on this one so I will pass it off to him.
Eshi: Okay, I'm going to start by saying I don't have anything against student films. I feel like that's important to note because a lot of the problems with SotW are cliche student film issues. The problem is that it careens face first into those issues like a baby strapped to an impact test rocket. The premise is that an incompetent and awkward engineering student manages to convince his cousin and his math tutor to help him build a machine to "transmit data using background radiation without using a signal" using the schematic equivalent of a brain damaged child's finger-painting. There are stories of "insert technical jargon here" in the scripts of many sci-fi endeavors, and this is no different, save that the jargon is less technical and more a hodgepodge of buzzwords from a fifth-grade science class. Not only do they get pretty much nothing right, there's a kind of fevered pride to the stupidity that would be fucking hilarious if they didn't take it so seriously. There is no internal consistency to their concept at all and when the opportunity to bring the story back in line presents itself, it instead turns almost bravely towards incomprehensibility. Probably the worst part is how good it could have been, either as a campy comedy or as cosmic horror, with really any effort. Someone edited this thing. Someone, presumably someone who really didn't like Ben Carland, saw this and was like, "Yeah, sure, why not". The characters are all so bleakly cliche` as to be unbelievable as people, the writing is so bad that the movie would have been more compelling as a series of stills, and the science is so fucking bad they might as well have just defaulted to "engineering is magic" and not bothered. SotW is Plan 9 bad with none of Plan 9's charm.
1: The Color Out of Space
COoS is about a young man traveling to Germany to find his father who has gone missing. While in Germany he meets a man who knew his father from the war who tells the son about their first meeting and why the land is bad around this area. I have mixed feelings about the movie. There is some overuse of CGI where practical effects could have been used instead. There is also a bit too much green screen, but neither really detracted from the movie by itself. I get when a movie is made and you don't have all the resources to do it right so I have been trying to not hold it against them. My favorite part of the movie was how it was in black and white and one of the subjects of the movie is a creature that emits an unnatural color, and to show this they always show the alien in color. Its an interesting way of handling that. The part of this movie that kind of ruined it for me is how boring it was. I like the base idea, and even where it went with it, but the movie just didn't capture my attention. Its not terrible, but its not great. Watch it, but don't expect to many surprises.
Eshi: Too much of this movie is reliant on the audience giving a fuck about things it gives us no reason to give a fuck about. For a movie about a guy looking for his dad, very little of it is concerned with either the guy or his dad. Basically, a bunch of weird shit happened to some people years ago and then some other people (like the aforementioned dad) stumble upon it and eventually the main character hears about it. As Brian says, it isn't terrible, we just aren't really given any opportunity to be interested, and considering the manic fascination that drives so much of Lovecraft's work, the lack is a painful one. I would go so far as to say don't bother with this one. Read the story though, just because this isn't a great adaptation doesn't mean the original doesn't deserve some attention.
2: Dagon
Dagon is based off of the Lovecraft story, The Shadow Over Innsmouth despite being named after another story. Dagon is a lot like Re-Animator in presentation. Its a little cheesy and over the top in ways that make the movie pulpy fun. The people who made this movie obviously had a lot of fun with it. The story is about Paul Marsh who, while on vacation off the coast of Spain with some friends and his S.O., is forced to go ashore when the boat he is on gets wrecked on a rock. While ashore he discovers the secret of Imboca and must escape a hoard of Fish-people. There is some memorable lines and some well done practical effects, though the acting is nothing to write home about. One complaint I have about this movie is when they show Dagon. Its a little cheesy and it gives a form to a type of monster that is better left nebulous. Don't expect high art, and you will enjoy this movie. Watch it with some friends and drinks and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Fucking fish-cults man, they ruin everything.
3: Shadows on the Wall
I hate bad movies. Not because they are bad, but because they make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. This is a bad movie. The main story is interesting and I think could have been quite good, but the execution was bad. You can miss this one. Eshi wanted to go into detail on this one so I will pass it off to him.
Eshi: Okay, I'm going to start by saying I don't have anything against student films. I feel like that's important to note because a lot of the problems with SotW are cliche student film issues. The problem is that it careens face first into those issues like a baby strapped to an impact test rocket. The premise is that an incompetent and awkward engineering student manages to convince his cousin and his math tutor to help him build a machine to "transmit data using background radiation without using a signal" using the schematic equivalent of a brain damaged child's finger-painting. There are stories of "insert technical jargon here" in the scripts of many sci-fi endeavors, and this is no different, save that the jargon is less technical and more a hodgepodge of buzzwords from a fifth-grade science class. Not only do they get pretty much nothing right, there's a kind of fevered pride to the stupidity that would be fucking hilarious if they didn't take it so seriously. There is no internal consistency to their concept at all and when the opportunity to bring the story back in line presents itself, it instead turns almost bravely towards incomprehensibility. Probably the worst part is how good it could have been, either as a campy comedy or as cosmic horror, with really any effort. Someone edited this thing. Someone, presumably someone who really didn't like Ben Carland, saw this and was like, "Yeah, sure, why not". The characters are all so bleakly cliche` as to be unbelievable as people, the writing is so bad that the movie would have been more compelling as a series of stills, and the science is so fucking bad they might as well have just defaulted to "engineering is magic" and not bothered. SotW is Plan 9 bad with none of Plan 9's charm.
Monday, January 18, 2016
An End to All This B&S
Okay, so I'm still a flake. The wells of inspiration have been hard to find and damn near impossible to plumb. Which is why this week the sponsor is Half-Assed Perseverance. Are you having a hard time giving a fuck about shit you do? Just plug away at it whenever you can be assed. You've probably got something else you could do, so see how you feel after doing that. Fuck it, you'll get it done eventually; with half-assed perseverance!
We spent several days with the villagers corroborating their story and establishing a plan of action. In the end our plans for vengeance were co-opted by cooler heads. Plans for fiery retribution were replaced by more insidious, institutional agendas. The village elders were truly brilliant in their maneuvering, not only had the deal with Mr. Portfeld been carefully worded to protect their interests it wasn't their only deal. Several other companies had approached the villagers, a fact that they had used to draw the attention of their local administrator; a brutal man whom they had managed to sway to their sympathy.
Their scheme was a good bit more ghastly than my initial hopes for a whorl of hellfire and gunpowder, almost enough to stir my sense of guilt. Instead we settled for letting them go about their sinister business and returning to Miskatonic. Newberg was displeased by the loss of Mr. Portfeld but quite glad to get underway building his factory. He was even quite happy to accept my recommendation to take on several of my former students as high level functionaries there. The sort of students with strong moral fiber and a ready habit of social responsibility, students with open minds and extensive background in eldritch mysteries. If anyone would be able to do right on that island it would be them.
I just hope that, in time, I'll be able to live down their disappearances.
We spent several days with the villagers corroborating their story and establishing a plan of action. In the end our plans for vengeance were co-opted by cooler heads. Plans for fiery retribution were replaced by more insidious, institutional agendas. The village elders were truly brilliant in their maneuvering, not only had the deal with Mr. Portfeld been carefully worded to protect their interests it wasn't their only deal. Several other companies had approached the villagers, a fact that they had used to draw the attention of their local administrator; a brutal man whom they had managed to sway to their sympathy.
Their scheme was a good bit more ghastly than my initial hopes for a whorl of hellfire and gunpowder, almost enough to stir my sense of guilt. Instead we settled for letting them go about their sinister business and returning to Miskatonic. Newberg was displeased by the loss of Mr. Portfeld but quite glad to get underway building his factory. He was even quite happy to accept my recommendation to take on several of my former students as high level functionaries there. The sort of students with strong moral fiber and a ready habit of social responsibility, students with open minds and extensive background in eldritch mysteries. If anyone would be able to do right on that island it would be them.
I just hope that, in time, I'll be able to live down their disappearances.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we were in the mood for some classic Tarantino. Tarantino has a very unique style, blending from many different schools of film that Tarantino enjoys. His movies are witty, violent, and very entertaining. This was a good week, so to the list!
1: Pulp Fiction
We tend to try to avoid spoilers if possible on this blog, at least during weekly cinemeh, but in this case I don't feel like it is to much of a spoiler to say that this movie is one of the best movies ever made. It is shot well, it is funny, and it has one of the best ending monologues I have ever seen. Pulp Fiction is a story told from three different perspectives. The entire cast is great, but the standout for me is Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is always a powerhouse and this movie makes great use of him, especially in the aforementioned monologue. It has a bit of everything; violence, mystery, comedy, and romance (though with one of the least sexy penetrations imaginable) but feels tight and well told. Its a great movie that you should watch if you haven't seen it (if only for the experience of a cultural phenomenon) and if you have seen it, you should watch it again.
Eshi: I almost feel bad for Quentin Tarantino; Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I feel like he made it too early in his career. He even manages to make a good character out of John Travolta, I mean, his over all personality still feels of a parasitic squid covered in anal lube, but under Tarantino's direction it works. Fuck yeah Harvey Keitel and also fuck yeah Tim Roth. Uma Therman is tragically unlikable as Mia Wallace, but I agree with Matt Sloan from Blame Society Films that it seems more an issue of writing than anything to do with her. I have to admit I'm starting to have weird feelings about Bruce Willis, and this performance contributes to that. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, he just always seems like he's doing a Donald Trump impression but keeps smelling a fart he can't mention. Still, Pulp Fiction is easily in my top ten and I recommend it highly.
Honorable mentions:
This week we only watched one movie (sorry about that~), but I still wanted to release some other stuff on this list. So here are a few of my favorites that Tarantino has made.
1: Reservoir Dogs
This is a heist movie that takes place after the heist goes down poorly. It is a fantastic drama about criminals trying to figure out who the mole is in their crew. The cast is great and the movie is full of tension. While not as strong as Pulp Fiction, it is still a good movie and worth the watch.
Eshi: One of my favorite Tim Roth rolls, after the delightful Four Rooms of course. Reservoir Dogs is just tight enough to be super engaging and just loose enough to feel genuine. I agree with Brian that it isn't as good as Pulp Fiction but its still a great example of Tarantino's work.
2: Django Unchained
Django Unchained is Tarantino's version of a western. The movie follows Django, a former slave, and his bounty hunter friend on a quest to find and free Django's wife. There are a lot of people who complain about the n word's "overuse" in the movie but considering it is a pre-civil war version of the south, it makes sense that a bunch of people who thought slavery was ok might speak poorly of the people they own. Another well cast film, I love Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz's patter. You really get the sense that they have come to trust one another. Its got some more of the violence and wit you expect from Tarantino. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: Quentin Tarantino likes to make people say "nigger". I find that both somewhat amusing and more progressive than anyone who feels like damning someone who uses a certain word because of their race. Brian has covered the problems with language policing in some depth, so thats all I'm gonna say about that. I have never hated Leonardo DeCaprio more than I do in this movie, and its great. Pretty much all of the characters in Django Unchained are grand in their own (often aggressively over-the-top) way. The chemistry throughout the film is phenomenal, sadly only fumbled between Jamie Fox and Kerry Washington, the woman playing his wife. Still not enough to take away from the movie but enough to be a little disappointing.
3: Inglorious Bastards
Tarantino's version of a war movie, Inglorious Bastards tells the story of an operation to destroy a large portion of the Nazi leadership during a movie premiere in Paris. This movie was my first experience with Christoph Waltz, and I instantly fell in love with him. His character is terrifying and charming all at once, just the kind of villain I like. Watch it.
Eshi: While I enjoy Bastards, I feel like it starts to come apart a bit in the final act. It runs a little long, tries to tell a bit to much story all at once. It's still pretty cathartic, and fun as hell, but it definitely isn't Tarantino's strongest work. Christoph Waltz is amazing as usual as the most charismatic Nazi you've ever seen and the Bastards as a whole are a joy to watch. Certainly give this one a shot, just maybe don't buy it right out of the gate, especially because it streams free.
1: Pulp Fiction
We tend to try to avoid spoilers if possible on this blog, at least during weekly cinemeh, but in this case I don't feel like it is to much of a spoiler to say that this movie is one of the best movies ever made. It is shot well, it is funny, and it has one of the best ending monologues I have ever seen. Pulp Fiction is a story told from three different perspectives. The entire cast is great, but the standout for me is Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson is always a powerhouse and this movie makes great use of him, especially in the aforementioned monologue. It has a bit of everything; violence, mystery, comedy, and romance (though with one of the least sexy penetrations imaginable) but feels tight and well told. Its a great movie that you should watch if you haven't seen it (if only for the experience of a cultural phenomenon) and if you have seen it, you should watch it again.
Eshi: I almost feel bad for Quentin Tarantino; Pulp Fiction is a masterpiece and I feel like he made it too early in his career. He even manages to make a good character out of John Travolta, I mean, his over all personality still feels of a parasitic squid covered in anal lube, but under Tarantino's direction it works. Fuck yeah Harvey Keitel and also fuck yeah Tim Roth. Uma Therman is tragically unlikable as Mia Wallace, but I agree with Matt Sloan from Blame Society Films that it seems more an issue of writing than anything to do with her. I have to admit I'm starting to have weird feelings about Bruce Willis, and this performance contributes to that. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, he just always seems like he's doing a Donald Trump impression but keeps smelling a fart he can't mention. Still, Pulp Fiction is easily in my top ten and I recommend it highly.
Honorable mentions:
This week we only watched one movie (sorry about that~), but I still wanted to release some other stuff on this list. So here are a few of my favorites that Tarantino has made.
1: Reservoir Dogs
This is a heist movie that takes place after the heist goes down poorly. It is a fantastic drama about criminals trying to figure out who the mole is in their crew. The cast is great and the movie is full of tension. While not as strong as Pulp Fiction, it is still a good movie and worth the watch.
Eshi: One of my favorite Tim Roth rolls, after the delightful Four Rooms of course. Reservoir Dogs is just tight enough to be super engaging and just loose enough to feel genuine. I agree with Brian that it isn't as good as Pulp Fiction but its still a great example of Tarantino's work.
2: Django Unchained
Django Unchained is Tarantino's version of a western. The movie follows Django, a former slave, and his bounty hunter friend on a quest to find and free Django's wife. There are a lot of people who complain about the n word's "overuse" in the movie but considering it is a pre-civil war version of the south, it makes sense that a bunch of people who thought slavery was ok might speak poorly of the people they own. Another well cast film, I love Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz's patter. You really get the sense that they have come to trust one another. Its got some more of the violence and wit you expect from Tarantino. Well worth the watch.
Eshi: Quentin Tarantino likes to make people say "nigger". I find that both somewhat amusing and more progressive than anyone who feels like damning someone who uses a certain word because of their race. Brian has covered the problems with language policing in some depth, so thats all I'm gonna say about that. I have never hated Leonardo DeCaprio more than I do in this movie, and its great. Pretty much all of the characters in Django Unchained are grand in their own (often aggressively over-the-top) way. The chemistry throughout the film is phenomenal, sadly only fumbled between Jamie Fox and Kerry Washington, the woman playing his wife. Still not enough to take away from the movie but enough to be a little disappointing.
3: Inglorious Bastards
Tarantino's version of a war movie, Inglorious Bastards tells the story of an operation to destroy a large portion of the Nazi leadership during a movie premiere in Paris. This movie was my first experience with Christoph Waltz, and I instantly fell in love with him. His character is terrifying and charming all at once, just the kind of villain I like. Watch it.
Eshi: While I enjoy Bastards, I feel like it starts to come apart a bit in the final act. It runs a little long, tries to tell a bit to much story all at once. It's still pretty cathartic, and fun as hell, but it definitely isn't Tarantino's strongest work. Christoph Waltz is amazing as usual as the most charismatic Nazi you've ever seen and the Bastards as a whole are a joy to watch. Certainly give this one a shot, just maybe don't buy it right out of the gate, especially because it streams free.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. I'm sorry that we took a couple weeks off for the holiday's, but we are back now and ready to start the new year off well~. This week we decided to celebrate the new year by watching movies that represent renewal and new beginnings. We had some great movies this week, so without further ado: To the list!
1: Fight Club
Fight Club is about a man who hates his dull life. After meeting a charismatic man on a flight and having his apartment blown up, he help opens a fight club, which starts him on a path to self discovery. Fight Club is one of those movies that everyone should watch in their teens and then again in their twenties. It is one of those films that expresses doubts that a lot of people have around those ages, and it will resonate well, for different reasons depending on their age. The movie itself, is witty, irreverent, well shot, and the cast is fantastic. The issue I have with the movie is that for a movie about how consumerism is dangerous, and how value should be found from within, it has a ton of product placement. It is one of my favorite movies, and you should watch it.
Eshi: C'mon, you've seen Fight Club. It's the heart-warming story of a young man conquering his demons and finding love via a prolonged abusive bisexual relationship with a figment of his fevered madness. You know, the classic. Its also chock full of new beginnings to ring in your new year. Jack begins as a broken, white collar drone, then begins anew as first a pseudo-enlightened punch monster, then as a plucky hero, then again as a gunshot victim with a gentle soul. Marla almost dies and is reborn as a relatively well adjusted fuck object/soulmate. Hell, even bitch-tits Bob starts an exciting new career as fertilizer. I love Fight Club, it was a wonderful awakening to my pubescent sex drive and a great opportunity to feel superior when the jocks at my school decided having seen it made them classical philosophers. It gets a lot of flack for being pretentious or glorifying violence or fucking whatever, but frankly, like all fiction, you take away what you want, not what the creator wanted, so people should just chill the fuck out. Watch it, or watch it again.
2: Office Space
Office Space is about how working in a corporate environment is awful. The main character is a man working on updating software to prevent Y2K. He is incredibly distraught, and after seeing a hypnotherapist about it, decides to stop placing value in work, and focus elsewhere. This is another movie about how modern life has some faults, and anyone who has worked in an office will empathize with the main character, though I doubt many people will choose to deal with the problem the way he does. Office space is funny, has a great soundtrack, and resonates still today, 17 years after its release. I really like Ron Livingston as the main character, he captures the exasperation and desperation really well, and he is very funny. Jennifer Aniston also does well as the voice of reason, and the scene in which she quits her job is fantastic. This is a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There really isn't much else to say about Office Space. It's a complete cathartic experience with a not-completely-terrible relationship subplot. Diedrich Bader and Ron Livingston both need more work and Gary Cole is always really good at being completely fucking loathsome.
3: Cabin in The Woods
We have talked about this movie on here before on the blog, but never in a Weekly Cinemeh. This movie is fantastic because it takes the standard "cabin in the woods" premise of horror movies and turns it on its head. I don't want to talk about the plot of this movie to much because it would spoil some of the plot points, but, I will say this: its a great horror movie for fans of horror movies. I have weird feelings about Joss Whedon. He has done some great work, but he also goes for cheap shots a lot. Here, he avoids the cheap emotional manipulation and tells a fantastic story. CitW is funny, and it pokes fun at the genre while still keeping the spirit of horror at the same time. Its a love letter to horror and it is fantastic. The actors are good, its funny, and it is a great movie all around. It inspires a renewal of love for the genre, and should be watched. You will enjoy it.
Eshi: CitW is all the reasons I hate Joss Whedon. Its characters are rich, the plot is delightfully balanced between cliche and innovation, and the dialog is wonderfully written. So now I know what he's capable of, and how fucking lazy he is elsewhere. The casting is spot-on and on at least one occasion the best bong I've ever seen is used to save the day. Fuck Joss Whedon, watch this movie.
1: Fight Club
Fight Club is about a man who hates his dull life. After meeting a charismatic man on a flight and having his apartment blown up, he help opens a fight club, which starts him on a path to self discovery. Fight Club is one of those movies that everyone should watch in their teens and then again in their twenties. It is one of those films that expresses doubts that a lot of people have around those ages, and it will resonate well, for different reasons depending on their age. The movie itself, is witty, irreverent, well shot, and the cast is fantastic. The issue I have with the movie is that for a movie about how consumerism is dangerous, and how value should be found from within, it has a ton of product placement. It is one of my favorite movies, and you should watch it.
Eshi: C'mon, you've seen Fight Club. It's the heart-warming story of a young man conquering his demons and finding love via a prolonged abusive bisexual relationship with a figment of his fevered madness. You know, the classic. Its also chock full of new beginnings to ring in your new year. Jack begins as a broken, white collar drone, then begins anew as first a pseudo-enlightened punch monster, then as a plucky hero, then again as a gunshot victim with a gentle soul. Marla almost dies and is reborn as a relatively well adjusted fuck object/soulmate. Hell, even bitch-tits Bob starts an exciting new career as fertilizer. I love Fight Club, it was a wonderful awakening to my pubescent sex drive and a great opportunity to feel superior when the jocks at my school decided having seen it made them classical philosophers. It gets a lot of flack for being pretentious or glorifying violence or fucking whatever, but frankly, like all fiction, you take away what you want, not what the creator wanted, so people should just chill the fuck out. Watch it, or watch it again.
2: Office Space
Office Space is about how working in a corporate environment is awful. The main character is a man working on updating software to prevent Y2K. He is incredibly distraught, and after seeing a hypnotherapist about it, decides to stop placing value in work, and focus elsewhere. This is another movie about how modern life has some faults, and anyone who has worked in an office will empathize with the main character, though I doubt many people will choose to deal with the problem the way he does. Office space is funny, has a great soundtrack, and resonates still today, 17 years after its release. I really like Ron Livingston as the main character, he captures the exasperation and desperation really well, and he is very funny. Jennifer Aniston also does well as the voice of reason, and the scene in which she quits her job is fantastic. This is a good movie, watch it.
Eshi: There really isn't much else to say about Office Space. It's a complete cathartic experience with a not-completely-terrible relationship subplot. Diedrich Bader and Ron Livingston both need more work and Gary Cole is always really good at being completely fucking loathsome.
3: Cabin in The Woods
We have talked about this movie on here before on the blog, but never in a Weekly Cinemeh. This movie is fantastic because it takes the standard "cabin in the woods" premise of horror movies and turns it on its head. I don't want to talk about the plot of this movie to much because it would spoil some of the plot points, but, I will say this: its a great horror movie for fans of horror movies. I have weird feelings about Joss Whedon. He has done some great work, but he also goes for cheap shots a lot. Here, he avoids the cheap emotional manipulation and tells a fantastic story. CitW is funny, and it pokes fun at the genre while still keeping the spirit of horror at the same time. Its a love letter to horror and it is fantastic. The actors are good, its funny, and it is a great movie all around. It inspires a renewal of love for the genre, and should be watched. You will enjoy it.
Eshi: CitW is all the reasons I hate Joss Whedon. Its characters are rich, the plot is delightfully balanced between cliche and innovation, and the dialog is wonderfully written. So now I know what he's capable of, and how fucking lazy he is elsewhere. The casting is spot-on and on at least one occasion the best bong I've ever seen is used to save the day. Fuck Joss Whedon, watch this movie.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Up to Our Eyes in B&S
Holy shit! We're back, with more of the random and not so random ranting we do. Today that ranting takes the form of another slap-dashing adventure of Brennan & Smythe, brought to us this week by the ramblings of a disturbed mind. Well, I mean this week and every other week.
The village was the starkest possible contrast to the grove surrounding it. The sinister stench and gruesome statuary encircled the most beautiful, peaceful village I've ever encountered. Lush gardens and clean, vibrantly decorated houses where happy goats and chickens stood guard. There where children dancing and singing, though they stopped abruptly at our intrusion. As the boy led us deeper into town adults started to gather in doorways, clapping each other on the back and smiling at us. At last we came to a great tree in what appeared to be the town square, carved like the ones that had warmed our welcome. It was every bit as handsome as they were grotesque. The wounded tree bore the shape of a stern old man's bearded face wreathed in waves. The putrid blush of the groves wood was replaced by a rich rosewood, carved that the man wept clear, golden sap.
Before the great tree stood a smiling elderly fellow in a brightly colored tunic who patted the boy as we approached. He welcomed us with songs and roasted meats and, over the course of an evening shared with us not just his plans to improve the lot of his people with the proposed rubber factory, but how he intended to expose the insidious Cult that had so long ruled the other villages of the island. The locals claimed that "The Lord of The Great Deep", whom the tree in the square was the likeness of, had taught them how to carve the perverse wood to protect themselves from the evil intents of their neighbors and their gods. The villagers showed us idols and icons, ritualistically defaced of course, that had been recovered from wars and raids past. A few we found uncomfortably familiar as old scars ached and protective tattoos hummed in recognition.
By the time the moon had risen, pale and pregnant against the black sky, the story that had led us here came into focus. Mr. Portfeld had been quite obviously attempting to fleece the villagers, so they took the opportunity to reverse the roles, whilst using the influx of foreign interest to illuminate the wicked doings on the island. I didn't share their optimism but, until Portfeld had disappeared in the night, they may have very well pulled it off. They had even managed to hold out some hope until Silas's defiled corpse had been found lashed to a tree outside of their protective grove. Our mystery had been solved, but I found I couldn't let it rest there.
The village was the starkest possible contrast to the grove surrounding it. The sinister stench and gruesome statuary encircled the most beautiful, peaceful village I've ever encountered. Lush gardens and clean, vibrantly decorated houses where happy goats and chickens stood guard. There where children dancing and singing, though they stopped abruptly at our intrusion. As the boy led us deeper into town adults started to gather in doorways, clapping each other on the back and smiling at us. At last we came to a great tree in what appeared to be the town square, carved like the ones that had warmed our welcome. It was every bit as handsome as they were grotesque. The wounded tree bore the shape of a stern old man's bearded face wreathed in waves. The putrid blush of the groves wood was replaced by a rich rosewood, carved that the man wept clear, golden sap.
Before the great tree stood a smiling elderly fellow in a brightly colored tunic who patted the boy as we approached. He welcomed us with songs and roasted meats and, over the course of an evening shared with us not just his plans to improve the lot of his people with the proposed rubber factory, but how he intended to expose the insidious Cult that had so long ruled the other villages of the island. The locals claimed that "The Lord of The Great Deep", whom the tree in the square was the likeness of, had taught them how to carve the perverse wood to protect themselves from the evil intents of their neighbors and their gods. The villagers showed us idols and icons, ritualistically defaced of course, that had been recovered from wars and raids past. A few we found uncomfortably familiar as old scars ached and protective tattoos hummed in recognition.
By the time the moon had risen, pale and pregnant against the black sky, the story that had led us here came into focus. Mr. Portfeld had been quite obviously attempting to fleece the villagers, so they took the opportunity to reverse the roles, whilst using the influx of foreign interest to illuminate the wicked doings on the island. I didn't share their optimism but, until Portfeld had disappeared in the night, they may have very well pulled it off. They had even managed to hold out some hope until Silas's defiled corpse had been found lashed to a tree outside of their protective grove. Our mystery had been solved, but I found I couldn't let it rest there.
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