Welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh, this weeks theme was a little odd, which is fitting. "The world slightly askew". Movies that depict this world, but different from reality. All three movies are great, and we had a lot of fun watching them. To the list!
1: Kingsman: The Secret Service
I didn't know what to expect when we started watching this movie. I know that one of the ads I saw for it featured a lady with prosthetic legs that had swords in them killing some fools, which is great but not super informative. What it ended up being was Kick-Ass does James Bond. This was a fun movie to watch. The main premise is a group of gentleman spies work to make the world a better place, and now a new villain seeks to kill a majority of the worlds population with a plan that is logically dubious at best. The thing is, this movie knows what it is supposed to be: fun. It has some awesome, bombastic action scenes and even calls itself out in the middle of the movie. It is not without its problems. There are some moderately sexist depictions of a couple female characters, but since its supposed to be a James Bond style film I am not sure if it was intentional of not. Still, a fun movie to watch with some friends. Also Samuel L. Jackson as a Bond Villain was amazing, though he was doing a voice that made me think of Mike Tyson.
Eshi: The first fifteen minutes of this movie had me kinda nervous. And then shit went crazy. This is not a good movie, have no misconceptions of that. There isn't much in the way of subtlety, there's pretty much nothing in the way of a meaningful message, and it is in no way touching. It is, however, spectacularly fucking awesome. Seriously, there's a character who has swords for legs, Samuel Jackson is a hemophobic, megalomaniacal nerd, and beating fuck out of people with an umbrella is a matter of course. Definitely worth renting.
2: Unbreakable
This fucking movie is why I hate M Night Shyamalan. Eshi and I both feel the same way about this so I bet you are going to hear the same thing from him. Shyamalan has some serious chops in this movie. It is clear that he had a vision of what he wanted to do, and he executed it well. The movie is about a man who survives a massive train wreck that kills all of the other passengers, but leaves him completely unscathed. He is contacted by a man who believes he has superpowers, and wants him to fulfill his destiny. Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson both do a great job, though that is not a surprise. This movie is shot beautifully and tells its story competently. The reason this movie makes me hate Shamyalan is that he clearly shows talent but I think he got a little full of himself afterwards. His movies become more and more self indulgent and up themselves. His twists become less and less believable and his scripts more cliche ridden messes. His next movie was Signs, which was good for the first half, but terrible after that. The twist in Signs was that the aliens are hurt by water. WTF are they doing invading a planet that is 75% water then? Shit, it literally rains death down on a regular basis over most of the planet. Did the aliens not do recon at all? Did the aliens travel vast fucking distances with an armada and didn't think to check to see if they could survive on the planet? It makes no sense. Also, he cast himself as a major character in Signs, which felt masturbatory and disappointing. Still Unbreakable is a fantastic movie that deserves watching.
Eshi: Fuck M. Night and his shitty fucking water fixation. Unbreakable is the only genuinely good Shyamalan movie, and it highlights the depth of his failure in every other movie he's done. The story is interesting, the cinematography is relatively immersive, and the twist, while not entirely surprising, is a legitimately touching moment. Though it would be nice if anyone other than Bruce Willies psycho kid wasn't the only remotely human character. Seriously, fuck M. Night.
3: Inglourious Basterds
I have talked before about my love of Tarantino movies and one is no exception. Basterds is about a Jewish woman hiding from the Nazi's and a group of American Jews who work as guerrilla fighters in France during world war II. It is cast extremely well. This was my first experience with Christoph Waltz who was fucking amazing. He plays a great villain, he was charismatic and ruthless and I couldn't get enough of him. This was also my first experience with Mélanie Laurent who played the revenge driven Shoshana who is hiding under a false identity in Paris. She was good, and I thought her interactions with Hans Landa (Waltz) were very well done. This movie, much like Tarantino's other work, gets the untraviolence just right. The movie is witty, tense, and a lot of fun and I would suggest giving it a watch if you haven't seen it yet.
Eshi: There is a lot of great casting in this movie, Brad Pitt is great, Michael Fassbender is delightful (though under utilized) and Eli Roth is amazing as Donnie The Bear Jew. That said, Christoph Waltz makes this film. Hans Landa is an amazing villain, charismatic, approachable, and deeply disconcerting. I cannot express how much I goddamn love Christoph Waltz.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Blame Society
Lately I've been feeling like a man divided. On one hand, as regular readers will attest to, I am all about society. Cultural, technological and scientific progress is just tits, and derives directly from the fact that we've banded together in such unreasonably large and cumbersome groups. On the other hand Civilization has always been based on, shall we say, coercive conscription and that is pretty fucking evil.
There is much to be said concerning the wonderful things a large group can accomplish, but all of those things are only possible because of the most basic action of a group. Bullying. While many groups function by accumulating like-minded people, those like-minded people then have the odious duty to enforce their common beliefs upon those in their vicinity. Now this isn't always violent, and it certainly isn't always bad, but it is always oppressive. And the larger the group gets the more power they have to enforce those beliefs and the more territory they need, and so the more people come under their authority, willing or not. Now this is fucked up enough when people are being forced from their homes, but what happens when there isn't anywhere to flee?
We've talked about this before, Brian had a very insightful post about the lack of unclaimed land and what that means, but that's only part of it. It is definitely fucked up that you can't opt out of society, but it is so much more fucked up that you can't opt out of civilization. Say I don't want to be a U.S. citizen anymore. My option is to go to another country that I find more tolerable. What about people who don't find any country tolerable, and just want to strike out on their own. First you would have to go somewhere that isn't already claimed by some group or another, which as previously discussed is a troublesome prospect at best. Then you'd have to make sure whatever magical land you landed on doesn't have any resources someone would want, because then they'd come and take it, and you'd have no claim to stop them. Now sure, this has always been true to some extent, but its a relatively recent phenomena that the people coming and forcing you off your land can do so exclusively from another fucking continent. Assuming you've managed to survive in this probably barren, distant and unlikely new home, you then have to hope you didn't leave behind any reason for someone to come looking for you, lest you draw the wrong kind of attention and someone buys your land out from under you to put up a factory or a landfill or something. The U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights is quite clear that everyone has the right to a nationality, but gives no mention of those who would rather not involve themselves in such an endeavor as a nation. The entire document is framed entirely as a means of protecting the individual within the framework of the State.
The idea that someone wouldn't want to participate in society is alien to us, which kind of makes sense when you account for the fact that civilization has historically been highly interested in justifying itself as the best or only way to live, even and especially when opposed by another civilization. Everyone likes to think that they have a monopoly on awesome, and the more like-minded people you get together the more certain they become of that monopoly. All they have to do is convince the unenlightened, or show the reticent, or kill the barbarians. And those that feel lost or broken under the yoke of the Group, well these days they can either wither away in depression and obscurity, wondering why they always feel so oppressed, or they can slowly work themselves to death trying to numb themselves against a world with no regard for their personhood. I can't fault that we're not all "forced" to participate, but its pretty fucked up that they make us watch.
There is much to be said concerning the wonderful things a large group can accomplish, but all of those things are only possible because of the most basic action of a group. Bullying. While many groups function by accumulating like-minded people, those like-minded people then have the odious duty to enforce their common beliefs upon those in their vicinity. Now this isn't always violent, and it certainly isn't always bad, but it is always oppressive. And the larger the group gets the more power they have to enforce those beliefs and the more territory they need, and so the more people come under their authority, willing or not. Now this is fucked up enough when people are being forced from their homes, but what happens when there isn't anywhere to flee?
We've talked about this before, Brian had a very insightful post about the lack of unclaimed land and what that means, but that's only part of it. It is definitely fucked up that you can't opt out of society, but it is so much more fucked up that you can't opt out of civilization. Say I don't want to be a U.S. citizen anymore. My option is to go to another country that I find more tolerable. What about people who don't find any country tolerable, and just want to strike out on their own. First you would have to go somewhere that isn't already claimed by some group or another, which as previously discussed is a troublesome prospect at best. Then you'd have to make sure whatever magical land you landed on doesn't have any resources someone would want, because then they'd come and take it, and you'd have no claim to stop them. Now sure, this has always been true to some extent, but its a relatively recent phenomena that the people coming and forcing you off your land can do so exclusively from another fucking continent. Assuming you've managed to survive in this probably barren, distant and unlikely new home, you then have to hope you didn't leave behind any reason for someone to come looking for you, lest you draw the wrong kind of attention and someone buys your land out from under you to put up a factory or a landfill or something. The U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights is quite clear that everyone has the right to a nationality, but gives no mention of those who would rather not involve themselves in such an endeavor as a nation. The entire document is framed entirely as a means of protecting the individual within the framework of the State.
The idea that someone wouldn't want to participate in society is alien to us, which kind of makes sense when you account for the fact that civilization has historically been highly interested in justifying itself as the best or only way to live, even and especially when opposed by another civilization. Everyone likes to think that they have a monopoly on awesome, and the more like-minded people you get together the more certain they become of that monopoly. All they have to do is convince the unenlightened, or show the reticent, or kill the barbarians. And those that feel lost or broken under the yoke of the Group, well these days they can either wither away in depression and obscurity, wondering why they always feel so oppressed, or they can slowly work themselves to death trying to numb themselves against a world with no regard for their personhood. I can't fault that we're not all "forced" to participate, but its pretty fucked up that they make us watch.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
I Guess We Could Just Use The Internet, But That Is Missing The Point.
I am a fan of society in general. As an animal, there is no better survival tactic for a species like ours then to congregate, prosper, and propagate, though we might be to much into that last one. Society comes with plenty of benefits. Collective knowledge makes our understanding of the world only ever get deeper. This knowledge has helped us get over diseases, making sure that people can survive minor problems like the flu. There are costs of having a society with shit like laws and taxes. Laws to keep people safe, and taxes to pay for the enforcing of said laws.
The problem with these costs is that they are taken for granted. People are expected to know how to file taxes, despite them being notoriously obtuse. This extends to more basic information too. People are expected to know how to do everyday tasks and how to navigate society as a whole because everyone does it. The problem is in people just assuming that other people have this knowledge, despite never being told how to do it. They will fend for themselves.
I think this tack is wrong. Fending for yourself is important for some things, but that is the case for like 75% of western life, and relieving some of that weight by explaining a few things that sometimes get left by the wayside could help people. I think it would be a good idea to make a high school or college class that explains to you basic social rules and expectations. This might sound silly, but what if a person explained how to file your taxes? Hey, maybe you won't fuck up if somebody tells you how to do it correctly! You could add stuff like: cars need oil/other fluids and how to change them, how to budget, the importance of the work/life balance, basic repair/safety/maintenance of your home, and how to change a tire. Simple stuff like that. If you make it a requirement for graduating, you can make sure that people know the basic rules that they are expected to follow.
I realize this sounds a little odd. I figure most of you reading this are asking "don't people figure this out as they go along?" and its a fair point. Most people figure out the bulk of this stuff on their own, but I don't think they should have to. It should at least be an option. Also society would benefit if people knew how to do this stuff. Society is a complicated beast, this could just make it a little more manageable.
The problem with these costs is that they are taken for granted. People are expected to know how to file taxes, despite them being notoriously obtuse. This extends to more basic information too. People are expected to know how to do everyday tasks and how to navigate society as a whole because everyone does it. The problem is in people just assuming that other people have this knowledge, despite never being told how to do it. They will fend for themselves.
I think this tack is wrong. Fending for yourself is important for some things, but that is the case for like 75% of western life, and relieving some of that weight by explaining a few things that sometimes get left by the wayside could help people. I think it would be a good idea to make a high school or college class that explains to you basic social rules and expectations. This might sound silly, but what if a person explained how to file your taxes? Hey, maybe you won't fuck up if somebody tells you how to do it correctly! You could add stuff like: cars need oil/other fluids and how to change them, how to budget, the importance of the work/life balance, basic repair/safety/maintenance of your home, and how to change a tire. Simple stuff like that. If you make it a requirement for graduating, you can make sure that people know the basic rules that they are expected to follow.
I realize this sounds a little odd. I figure most of you reading this are asking "don't people figure this out as they go along?" and its a fair point. Most people figure out the bulk of this stuff on their own, but I don't think they should have to. It should at least be an option. Also society would benefit if people knew how to do this stuff. Society is a complicated beast, this could just make it a little more manageable.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we watched Wes Anderson films as our theme. Wes Anderson is one of my favorite directors. He makes all of his movies seem like a story book, and his use of color and music adds to the whimsical worlds he creates. If you haven't seen his movies before, I would suggest adding them to your watchlist.
1: Bottle Rocket
Anderson's first movie, Bottle Rocket is a comedy about a group of friends who want to commit heists. Like most of his films the cast is a group of quirky and disenfranchised people who are trying to live life their way. Luke Wilson is great, as is his brother Owen who co-wrote the film with Anderson. Like most of Anderson's work there is a lot of emphasis on finding one's path. Owen's character Dignan wants an exciting life, and constantly embellishes the truth so his life will seem less mundane. Anthony (Luke Wilson) is just trying to find his way while also being supportive of his friends. Bob (Robert Musgrave) who is friends with the other two, is a person of means, but with no control over his life. In the movie, the one time he tries to do something on his own, it hurts his brother, which he feels bad for even though his brother is a bully towards him. Its a good film, with a lot of schadenfreude for the audience to experience. I would recommend it for people who haven't seen it or for people who aren't particularly familiar with Anderson as a jumping in point. You get to see a lot of Anderson's familiar traits: closeups when lines are supposed to hit hard, pastel colors, mellow music, and perpendicular long-shots of the characters.
Eshi: Wes Anderson is one of my favorite directors, not least because he tends to write his own stories, lending every film with a deep sense of intimacy. You can tell that Bottle Rocket is his first big film. Its fun and moving, but there are several scenes where I can almost feel the hesitation, where he wanted to go versus where he thought he should go. I very much enjoyed watching Anderson find his voice in this movie.
2: Moonrise Kingdom
This is probably my favorite Wes Anderson movie (along with The Grand Budapest Hotel). I mentioned in the introduction how Anderson's movies play out like a storybook on film, and this one is no exception. This is a beautiful movie, not just from a story perspective but from a visual one. It is stunning, truly. This is also one of the few movies where child actors don't take away from the movie. The bulk of the cast are children, so I was worried initially that I wouldn't like it, since I usually cannot stand child actors, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is a great movie, watch it.
Eshi: Moonrise Kingdom is the best movie about children I have ever seen. Mostly because it isn't about children. Its about people lost and in love in a world that's hostile. The kids don't behave as kids, they act as naive agents trying to enact their ideals. Its fucking beautiful and thought provoking and OH MY GOD WHY AREN'T YOU ALREADY WATCHING THIS!
3: Rushmore
A quirky film about an unfocused youth who is struggling with his developing into an adult. The character is a terrible student, but not because he is dumb, he is just distracted by the flavor of the world around him. He is in a million clubs, founder of many of them, and can't seem to find something to drive himself forward. He is an idealist (much like most young people) who doesn't necessarily have the experience to act realistically (also much like most young people). When he does act, he throws everything behind it, even though it could ruin him. It is a great coming of age story, that I think every young person should see.
Eshi: Jason Schwartzman is awesome in this film. He's simultaneously deeply driven and completely unaware of how reality can interfere with his goals. Bill Murray is goddamn amazing as per usual. The storybook nature Brian talked about is rich in this movie and hit me really hard. Rushmore (like many of Anderson's films) is very much about finding your own way and it delivers its message in a delightful and moving fashion.
1: Bottle Rocket
Anderson's first movie, Bottle Rocket is a comedy about a group of friends who want to commit heists. Like most of his films the cast is a group of quirky and disenfranchised people who are trying to live life their way. Luke Wilson is great, as is his brother Owen who co-wrote the film with Anderson. Like most of Anderson's work there is a lot of emphasis on finding one's path. Owen's character Dignan wants an exciting life, and constantly embellishes the truth so his life will seem less mundane. Anthony (Luke Wilson) is just trying to find his way while also being supportive of his friends. Bob (Robert Musgrave) who is friends with the other two, is a person of means, but with no control over his life. In the movie, the one time he tries to do something on his own, it hurts his brother, which he feels bad for even though his brother is a bully towards him. Its a good film, with a lot of schadenfreude for the audience to experience. I would recommend it for people who haven't seen it or for people who aren't particularly familiar with Anderson as a jumping in point. You get to see a lot of Anderson's familiar traits: closeups when lines are supposed to hit hard, pastel colors, mellow music, and perpendicular long-shots of the characters.
Eshi: Wes Anderson is one of my favorite directors, not least because he tends to write his own stories, lending every film with a deep sense of intimacy. You can tell that Bottle Rocket is his first big film. Its fun and moving, but there are several scenes where I can almost feel the hesitation, where he wanted to go versus where he thought he should go. I very much enjoyed watching Anderson find his voice in this movie.
2: Moonrise Kingdom
This is probably my favorite Wes Anderson movie (along with The Grand Budapest Hotel). I mentioned in the introduction how Anderson's movies play out like a storybook on film, and this one is no exception. This is a beautiful movie, not just from a story perspective but from a visual one. It is stunning, truly. This is also one of the few movies where child actors don't take away from the movie. The bulk of the cast are children, so I was worried initially that I wouldn't like it, since I usually cannot stand child actors, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is a great movie, watch it.
Eshi: Moonrise Kingdom is the best movie about children I have ever seen. Mostly because it isn't about children. Its about people lost and in love in a world that's hostile. The kids don't behave as kids, they act as naive agents trying to enact their ideals. Its fucking beautiful and thought provoking and OH MY GOD WHY AREN'T YOU ALREADY WATCHING THIS!
3: Rushmore
A quirky film about an unfocused youth who is struggling with his developing into an adult. The character is a terrible student, but not because he is dumb, he is just distracted by the flavor of the world around him. He is in a million clubs, founder of many of them, and can't seem to find something to drive himself forward. He is an idealist (much like most young people) who doesn't necessarily have the experience to act realistically (also much like most young people). When he does act, he throws everything behind it, even though it could ruin him. It is a great coming of age story, that I think every young person should see.
Eshi: Jason Schwartzman is awesome in this film. He's simultaneously deeply driven and completely unaware of how reality can interfere with his goals. Bill Murray is goddamn amazing as per usual. The storybook nature Brian talked about is rich in this movie and hit me really hard. Rushmore (like many of Anderson's films) is very much about finding your own way and it delivers its message in a delightful and moving fashion.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Brand Loyalty
So, a couple of weeks ago, Eshi wrote about how geeks have been turned into only one variety of person, when really the term should have a wider range. While thinking about this I started thinking about how pigeon-holing happens all the time, and that one of the most major contributors to this is corporations.
People have a mostly unspoken need to create/adopt an identity. It has been the source of some cool thought experiments, and a lot of debate in the philosophical community (monism, dualism, materialism all deal with it). This is why so many people hop into groups that offer them an identity. Nationalism is a big one, religion is too. It allows you to say "I am X" and have it mean something.
Corporations know this and exploit the hell out of it. By telling people "real X use our product" or "A product made by X for X" it makes them feel that if they use whatever it is they are selling they will reinforce that identity. They combine this with ads that make it sound as if people who choose their product are also better at using their agency than those who don't. Apple has used this since the 80's, touting that people who don't use their product are witless conformists who will never be fulfilled or have any individual identity. Gamestop does this too with the "Power to the player" ads as well. "Shopping here gives you agency" it seems to say, and people like having power, gamers especially.
I am not saying that Identity seeking is bad. Literally everyone does it, its part of our nature. I just wish that we didn't let ourselves be exploited because of it. I feel like I should be open about the fact that I don't like large corporations in the first place. I think that they breed some terrible business/social/individual habits. That being said, its pretty clear when they are being manipulative in ads, and trying to avoid supporting poor practices is something that could benefit people. So if you see a company try to be manipulative in this way, please try to avoid them. Remember, it is your actions that determine your identity, not the shit you wear while performing said action.
People have a mostly unspoken need to create/adopt an identity. It has been the source of some cool thought experiments, and a lot of debate in the philosophical community (monism, dualism, materialism all deal with it). This is why so many people hop into groups that offer them an identity. Nationalism is a big one, religion is too. It allows you to say "I am X" and have it mean something.
Corporations know this and exploit the hell out of it. By telling people "real X use our product" or "A product made by X for X" it makes them feel that if they use whatever it is they are selling they will reinforce that identity. They combine this with ads that make it sound as if people who choose their product are also better at using their agency than those who don't. Apple has used this since the 80's, touting that people who don't use their product are witless conformists who will never be fulfilled or have any individual identity. Gamestop does this too with the "Power to the player" ads as well. "Shopping here gives you agency" it seems to say, and people like having power, gamers especially.
I am not saying that Identity seeking is bad. Literally everyone does it, its part of our nature. I just wish that we didn't let ourselves be exploited because of it. I feel like I should be open about the fact that I don't like large corporations in the first place. I think that they breed some terrible business/social/individual habits. That being said, its pretty clear when they are being manipulative in ads, and trying to avoid supporting poor practices is something that could benefit people. So if you see a company try to be manipulative in this way, please try to avoid them. Remember, it is your actions that determine your identity, not the shit you wear while performing said action.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh, our weekly movie review post where two buddies talk about the movies they watched in the past week. This week's theme was horror movies and there were some goodies.
1: What We Do In The Shadows
I loved this movie. So much. Its about a bunch of vampires living in a house together in New Zealand. The movie is shot reality television style and plays on the format very well. It was written and directed by Taika Waititi, who also wrote Eagle vs Shark, and Jemaine Clement from Flight of The Conchords. I loved both of their other projects that I have seen, and this movie only makes me want to see more. This movie had it all: It was funny, heartwarming, and tragic. The cast is great, and have good chemistry. Also, I love Rhys Darby and wish he got more work. Definitely watch this with some friends and have a great time.
Eshi: We watched this movie twice in twenty four hours and I'm still craving it. Jemaine is fucking fantastic, Taika Waititi delightfully offbeat and the whole tone of the film is just grand. There are no words for how much I love this movie.
2: The Babadook
This was an odd movie. It starts out feeling like a movie about a Damien style kid, then turns into a possession movie where the mom is a bad guy, and ends as a monster movie. Usually I like a more coherent movie than this, but I might need to change my tune on that. The constantly shifting antagonist added to the uneasiness that accompanies horror movies. This movie also has a novel way of dealing with the monster, which you don't see that often, and was impressive to me. So many movies try to kill off the monster whenever they get the chance, but this one fucks with that trope in a nice way that fits with the interesting mythology it sets up. I loved watching Essie Davis playing the mother. She has an arc that forces her to change up the tone of her character a lot, and she handles the shifts very well. It also loves to Chekov's Gun the shit out of stuff and not deliver. I think this happens to set up more of the uneasiness that comes from the constant reevaluation of reality. All in all a good film, if not a classic. Watch it if you feel like seeing a movie about the dangers of reading.
Eshi: The Babadook plays a lot of cards very quickly, and it does it pretty well. The only non-shitty people in this whole film are an old lady and a horny nurse, and weirdly that helps. You aren't really supposed to like anyone for most of the story and that lends a layer of catharsis when the shit goes down, as well as a layer of disquiet when characters start evolving. Its pretty good at keeping you on your toes, and I really enjoy that.
3: Nightbreed
This movie was brought to my attention by Eshi when he saw it a little while ago. We watched it this week on his recommendation and I was kind of surprised. I am not really a fan of Clive Barker's work, but the setup in this movie was interesting. It feels like the beginning of a long series, and as some minor research showed, was. Nightbreed was supposed to be the first in a trilogy adapting Clive Barker's book Cabal. Unfortunately it was a flop, though Barker claims this is because they tried to market it as a slasher instead of a dark fantasy epic. We watched the latest cut of the film, and not the cut from the theaters, and it wasn't bad. David Cronenburg was kind of a surprise for me, I could not remember having ever seen him act. I am aware of his horror background though, and his acting fit the movie well. The oddest thing about this was the romance between the leading lady and man. Lori (Anne Bobby) seems consistently hostile towards Boone (Craig Sheffer) and it feels like they are in an abusive relationship, with Boone being manipulated emotionally by Lori. I am definitely going to go find the novella this is based on, just to see more about the world. Its an interesting movie, and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to see a movie that depicts movie monsters as people.
Eshi: The most engaging part of Nightbreed is the mythos, which is both great for immersion and almost entirely unexamined. I can easily see why this movie flopped if they tried to sell it as a slasher. That said, taking it on its own terms, Nightbreed is very good. The social commentary is by no means subtle and the structure is pretty disjointed, but those both serve to make it a more complete and evocative experience. As Brian says, the primary romance is super fucking manipulative, crossing well over into the realm of emotional/psychological abuse, and I'm not certain how to feel about that without the context of the rest of the goddamn story. Honestly the only legitimate complaint I can muster on this one is that we don't get to see the rest of it.
1: What We Do In The Shadows
I loved this movie. So much. Its about a bunch of vampires living in a house together in New Zealand. The movie is shot reality television style and plays on the format very well. It was written and directed by Taika Waititi, who also wrote Eagle vs Shark, and Jemaine Clement from Flight of The Conchords. I loved both of their other projects that I have seen, and this movie only makes me want to see more. This movie had it all: It was funny, heartwarming, and tragic. The cast is great, and have good chemistry. Also, I love Rhys Darby and wish he got more work. Definitely watch this with some friends and have a great time.
Eshi: We watched this movie twice in twenty four hours and I'm still craving it. Jemaine is fucking fantastic, Taika Waititi delightfully offbeat and the whole tone of the film is just grand. There are no words for how much I love this movie.
2: The Babadook
This was an odd movie. It starts out feeling like a movie about a Damien style kid, then turns into a possession movie where the mom is a bad guy, and ends as a monster movie. Usually I like a more coherent movie than this, but I might need to change my tune on that. The constantly shifting antagonist added to the uneasiness that accompanies horror movies. This movie also has a novel way of dealing with the monster, which you don't see that often, and was impressive to me. So many movies try to kill off the monster whenever they get the chance, but this one fucks with that trope in a nice way that fits with the interesting mythology it sets up. I loved watching Essie Davis playing the mother. She has an arc that forces her to change up the tone of her character a lot, and she handles the shifts very well. It also loves to Chekov's Gun the shit out of stuff and not deliver. I think this happens to set up more of the uneasiness that comes from the constant reevaluation of reality. All in all a good film, if not a classic. Watch it if you feel like seeing a movie about the dangers of reading.
Eshi: The Babadook plays a lot of cards very quickly, and it does it pretty well. The only non-shitty people in this whole film are an old lady and a horny nurse, and weirdly that helps. You aren't really supposed to like anyone for most of the story and that lends a layer of catharsis when the shit goes down, as well as a layer of disquiet when characters start evolving. Its pretty good at keeping you on your toes, and I really enjoy that.
3: Nightbreed
This movie was brought to my attention by Eshi when he saw it a little while ago. We watched it this week on his recommendation and I was kind of surprised. I am not really a fan of Clive Barker's work, but the setup in this movie was interesting. It feels like the beginning of a long series, and as some minor research showed, was. Nightbreed was supposed to be the first in a trilogy adapting Clive Barker's book Cabal. Unfortunately it was a flop, though Barker claims this is because they tried to market it as a slasher instead of a dark fantasy epic. We watched the latest cut of the film, and not the cut from the theaters, and it wasn't bad. David Cronenburg was kind of a surprise for me, I could not remember having ever seen him act. I am aware of his horror background though, and his acting fit the movie well. The oddest thing about this was the romance between the leading lady and man. Lori (Anne Bobby) seems consistently hostile towards Boone (Craig Sheffer) and it feels like they are in an abusive relationship, with Boone being manipulated emotionally by Lori. I am definitely going to go find the novella this is based on, just to see more about the world. Its an interesting movie, and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to see a movie that depicts movie monsters as people.
Eshi: The most engaging part of Nightbreed is the mythos, which is both great for immersion and almost entirely unexamined. I can easily see why this movie flopped if they tried to sell it as a slasher. That said, taking it on its own terms, Nightbreed is very good. The social commentary is by no means subtle and the structure is pretty disjointed, but those both serve to make it a more complete and evocative experience. As Brian says, the primary romance is super fucking manipulative, crossing well over into the realm of emotional/psychological abuse, and I'm not certain how to feel about that without the context of the rest of the goddamn story. Honestly the only legitimate complaint I can muster on this one is that we don't get to see the rest of it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Adaptation
So movie adaptations of books have been around since the beginnings of film. My favorite movie, The Maltese Falcon, was even the third adaptation of the book. From 1994 to 2013 58% of the top grossing movies were adaptations, so it has been a pretty big chunk of the industry for a long time. I don't think that everything needs a movie adaptation. The fact that we got a rock em' sock em' robots movie and a battleship movie is depressing. Especially because we already got the best board-game to movie adaptation in 1985.
People have weird feelings about film adaptations and I really get why. People put a lot of investment into books. When you read a book, you are not just comprehending words on a page. Books require far more input form the reader, which is something a lot of people love. Rue from the hunger games movie wasn't what I was expecting after reading the book because I had an image in my head of the character I read about. The problem arises from what a movie is and what a book is, and how its hard to distinguish the two when they are based on the same thing.
If I wrote a book I could be vague about some details, forcing the readers to interpret somethings on their own, but in a movie you can't do that easily. Movies need to be more subtle in different ways because they effect different senses. My favorite example of this is from an adaptation that I loved: "Shutter Island". Spoilers Ahead: In the movie the guards are visibly nervous at the fact that Daniels has a gun and is walking around freely. This was not something that was easily shown in the book because the narrative didn't focus on the background characters in a way that films can.
I think the only time a movie version of a book gets "bad" from a narrative perspective (bad acting and directing can happen to original IP movies too) is when it looses what makes most books important. The message. All in all I don't have a problem with an adaptation as long as it stays true to the reason the book was written.That being said, if you make the movie all about the special effects and flare and big name actors and less about the story being told it will be bad, regardless of the source materials origins. Examples of failure: The Golden Compass, The Hobbit, The Great Gatsby, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Examples of Success: No Country For Old Men, The Maltese Falcon, and an Honorable Mention to Jeeves and Wooster (because fuck yeah Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie).
People have weird feelings about film adaptations and I really get why. People put a lot of investment into books. When you read a book, you are not just comprehending words on a page. Books require far more input form the reader, which is something a lot of people love. Rue from the hunger games movie wasn't what I was expecting after reading the book because I had an image in my head of the character I read about. The problem arises from what a movie is and what a book is, and how its hard to distinguish the two when they are based on the same thing.
If I wrote a book I could be vague about some details, forcing the readers to interpret somethings on their own, but in a movie you can't do that easily. Movies need to be more subtle in different ways because they effect different senses. My favorite example of this is from an adaptation that I loved: "Shutter Island". Spoilers Ahead: In the movie the guards are visibly nervous at the fact that Daniels has a gun and is walking around freely. This was not something that was easily shown in the book because the narrative didn't focus on the background characters in a way that films can.
I think the only time a movie version of a book gets "bad" from a narrative perspective (bad acting and directing can happen to original IP movies too) is when it looses what makes most books important. The message. All in all I don't have a problem with an adaptation as long as it stays true to the reason the book was written.That being said, if you make the movie all about the special effects and flare and big name actors and less about the story being told it will be bad, regardless of the source materials origins. Examples of failure: The Golden Compass, The Hobbit, The Great Gatsby, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Examples of Success: No Country For Old Men, The Maltese Falcon, and an Honorable Mention to Jeeves and Wooster (because fuck yeah Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie).
Monday, May 11, 2015
For We are Many
I've been thinking about what it means to be a geek lately. Unfortunately, there's a hint of truth to the idea that geek culture is one built on compulsive consumption. Games, movies, TV, comics: all the things that identify geek culture are shamelessly and actively exploited by groups that either never cared about the artistry of these media, or have been driven to forget what love they had. This is pretty fucking clear when you look at how many comic book movies have been scheduled and how they've been handled. All of that shit is a big part of our social presence, but I feel like its too easy to assume these things are what make us geeks. They fucking aren't.
Geek culture isn't about Captain America or Batman or Warcraft; its about loving something so much you involve yourself with it. That's a weird thing to say, but bare with me. Geeks aren't just known for playing games and watching movies, we're known for dressing up as those people, writing our own fiction in those worlds, and relentlessly deconstructing and examining seemingly random aspects of those stories. That last one is important because it really is the bit that unifies us. The tricky part is that isn't some random expression of appreciation for a specific genre or medium, that's a personality trait. Geeks can and do geek out over anything they're into. It's not about what you obsess over, its about the passion. Foodies are geeks, ask them about their favorite food and tell me it doesn't feel exactly like talking to a LARPer about their character. The same is true about people who're really into politics, folks who get weird about sports, and pretty much anybody who enjoys their job after ten years.
The reason I'm all fuckered about this is that I've been dragged (largely through my own shitty, comment-reading habits) into some of the more aggressive discussions about how we're all evil, or stupid, or bigoted. I really hope I don't have to point out how fucking absurd that is. The problem is that we are really, really easily led. Once the mode of exploitation is determined (comics, games, and movies for many of us) the immediately popular aspects of that mode are flogged well past the point of meaninglessness. It happened with Batman, it happened with Final Fantasy, and it happened with politics. The trouble arises from the fact that when huge portions of your obsession have been highjacked and refined to the least common denominator for easy marketing; you get defensive about weird things, you stop thinking about what you really believe.
I don't know how we're going to get away from that, its a little too easy to capitalize and monopolize on people's obsessions. But I do know that we can't really afford to be complicit in our own exploitation anymore. So I don't know, boycott EA games, or MCU movies, or whatever evil you feel like you can do without. Better yet, try to create something of your own for other geeks to cling to. Foodies, sports nuts, Gamers; we aren't really different groups, we are one people with many passions.
Geek culture isn't about Captain America or Batman or Warcraft; its about loving something so much you involve yourself with it. That's a weird thing to say, but bare with me. Geeks aren't just known for playing games and watching movies, we're known for dressing up as those people, writing our own fiction in those worlds, and relentlessly deconstructing and examining seemingly random aspects of those stories. That last one is important because it really is the bit that unifies us. The tricky part is that isn't some random expression of appreciation for a specific genre or medium, that's a personality trait. Geeks can and do geek out over anything they're into. It's not about what you obsess over, its about the passion. Foodies are geeks, ask them about their favorite food and tell me it doesn't feel exactly like talking to a LARPer about their character. The same is true about people who're really into politics, folks who get weird about sports, and pretty much anybody who enjoys their job after ten years.
The reason I'm all fuckered about this is that I've been dragged (largely through my own shitty, comment-reading habits) into some of the more aggressive discussions about how we're all evil, or stupid, or bigoted. I really hope I don't have to point out how fucking absurd that is. The problem is that we are really, really easily led. Once the mode of exploitation is determined (comics, games, and movies for many of us) the immediately popular aspects of that mode are flogged well past the point of meaninglessness. It happened with Batman, it happened with Final Fantasy, and it happened with politics. The trouble arises from the fact that when huge portions of your obsession have been highjacked and refined to the least common denominator for easy marketing; you get defensive about weird things, you stop thinking about what you really believe.
I don't know how we're going to get away from that, its a little too easy to capitalize and monopolize on people's obsessions. But I do know that we can't really afford to be complicit in our own exploitation anymore. So I don't know, boycott EA games, or MCU movies, or whatever evil you feel like you can do without. Better yet, try to create something of your own for other geeks to cling to. Foodies, sports nuts, Gamers; we aren't really different groups, we are one people with many passions.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh, where two friends watch a few movies because we get bored, and then write about it on the internet. This week's theme is the Three Flavors Cornetto trilogy. For those of you not in the know, the Cornetto trilogy is a series of movies from director Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost each dealing with a genre of film (with a "relationship" genre smuggled in underneath). Shaun of The Dead is a Zombie movie that is also a romantic comedy, Hot Fuzz is a Buddy Cop action flick that is also a "bromance", and The World's End is an alien apocalypse movie with a greater focus on the overall theme of the three movies "prolonged adolescence is bad". All three of these movies are great, but lets do the individual breakdowns.
1: Shaun of The Dead
This is a romantic comedy in a zombie apocalypse. Shaun (Pegg) loses his girlfriend and gets in a lot of trouble with one of his roommates because he is stuck in a perpetual adolescence along with his best friend Ed (Frost). Shaun decideds to get his shit together and win back his girlfriend, but oh shit! Zombies coming up the hell right now! SotD is great at referencing other zombie movies and TV shows. It is a lot of fun, and has a lot of fun with the genre. It is thanks to movies like this, that I have trouble taking Simon Pegg seriously though, but to be fair, I have never seen him do anything completely serious.
Eshi: Shaun of the Dead is our dedicated Halloween movie, with good reason. The number and depth of references layered through this film is just delightful, and gets better the more of them you understand. It makes a big deal of the growth and development Shaun goes through but really (spoilers?) at the end he's just doing the same shit he did before the zombies, just with better priorities.
2: Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is the best cop ever. So good, in fact, that his superiors ship him off to a little hamlet so he stops making them all look bad. When he gets there, he is introduced to a huge cast of oddball country folk (David Lynch would be proud) including his "partner" Danny (Frost). While in town, Angel uncovers a massive conspiracy which has left a lot of people dead. It is up to Angel and Danny to take down the culprit! This movie is basically all buddy cop/action movie rolled into one. The friendship between the two leads is the focus of the bulk of the film as Danny tries to become a better cop, and Angel tries to pull the stick out of his ass. The ending fight is epic and exciting while still managing to be funny.
Eshi: This is my favorite of the trilogy, mostly because it shows a Paladin recovering from a fall and becoming a better person for it. Pegg's character is straight-laced to a fault at the outset, but bad-assing his way through a rural community opens his mind to a variety of balance he wouldn't have come across on his own. Angel actually ends up less conventionally mature than he starts, but he's a better friend and a better cop for it.
3: The World's End
This movie starts with a line from the movie "The Wild Angels" and basically sets up the core dogma laid fourth by Simon Pegg's character, Gary King. This movie basically has Pegg playing a burnout while Nick Frost plays a character (Andy Knightly) that is anathema to the starting positions of his other two roles in the trilogy. Andy is grounded, sober, and focuses on his career and being an adult. Also, he beats crazy robots to death with bar stools. This is a movie about how dangerous extremes are, and how homogenization is not the best way to go about things either. The film is about a group of high school buddies getting together to attempt a pub crawl when they discover that the town is being taken over by robotic aliens. The robots (although they aren't robots, just ask 'em) represent conformity, and explores how it has some good bits, but since it is enforced so heavily, becomes to restricting. Its a good movie, though a bit more serious by the end, but still a fun movie.
Eshi: The World's End does not fuck about. Gary King is a fucked up dude, but his oppressive narcissism keeps the people around him from being able to help him out of the deep, fuckered hole he finds himself in. There isn't much in the way of subtlety as far as the moral goes but the humor and clarity of purpose kinda make up for that. Also, Nick Frost is fucking Boss in this one.
Honorable mentions: Spaced
Spaced is a great TV show for people who love nerd culture and British comedy.
Paul: A great movie with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost playing nerds from england that go on a road trip with an alien played by Seth Rogan. Its awesome, and follows along the same lines as the cornetto triology and Spaced by being crammed full of referential humor.
1: Shaun of The Dead
This is a romantic comedy in a zombie apocalypse. Shaun (Pegg) loses his girlfriend and gets in a lot of trouble with one of his roommates because he is stuck in a perpetual adolescence along with his best friend Ed (Frost). Shaun decideds to get his shit together and win back his girlfriend, but oh shit! Zombies coming up the hell right now! SotD is great at referencing other zombie movies and TV shows. It is a lot of fun, and has a lot of fun with the genre. It is thanks to movies like this, that I have trouble taking Simon Pegg seriously though, but to be fair, I have never seen him do anything completely serious.
Eshi: Shaun of the Dead is our dedicated Halloween movie, with good reason. The number and depth of references layered through this film is just delightful, and gets better the more of them you understand. It makes a big deal of the growth and development Shaun goes through but really (spoilers?) at the end he's just doing the same shit he did before the zombies, just with better priorities.
2: Hot Fuzz
Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is the best cop ever. So good, in fact, that his superiors ship him off to a little hamlet so he stops making them all look bad. When he gets there, he is introduced to a huge cast of oddball country folk (David Lynch would be proud) including his "partner" Danny (Frost). While in town, Angel uncovers a massive conspiracy which has left a lot of people dead. It is up to Angel and Danny to take down the culprit! This movie is basically all buddy cop/action movie rolled into one. The friendship between the two leads is the focus of the bulk of the film as Danny tries to become a better cop, and Angel tries to pull the stick out of his ass. The ending fight is epic and exciting while still managing to be funny.
Eshi: This is my favorite of the trilogy, mostly because it shows a Paladin recovering from a fall and becoming a better person for it. Pegg's character is straight-laced to a fault at the outset, but bad-assing his way through a rural community opens his mind to a variety of balance he wouldn't have come across on his own. Angel actually ends up less conventionally mature than he starts, but he's a better friend and a better cop for it.
3: The World's End
This movie starts with a line from the movie "The Wild Angels" and basically sets up the core dogma laid fourth by Simon Pegg's character, Gary King. This movie basically has Pegg playing a burnout while Nick Frost plays a character (Andy Knightly) that is anathema to the starting positions of his other two roles in the trilogy. Andy is grounded, sober, and focuses on his career and being an adult. Also, he beats crazy robots to death with bar stools. This is a movie about how dangerous extremes are, and how homogenization is not the best way to go about things either. The film is about a group of high school buddies getting together to attempt a pub crawl when they discover that the town is being taken over by robotic aliens. The robots (although they aren't robots, just ask 'em) represent conformity, and explores how it has some good bits, but since it is enforced so heavily, becomes to restricting. Its a good movie, though a bit more serious by the end, but still a fun movie.
Eshi: The World's End does not fuck about. Gary King is a fucked up dude, but his oppressive narcissism keeps the people around him from being able to help him out of the deep, fuckered hole he finds himself in. There isn't much in the way of subtlety as far as the moral goes but the humor and clarity of purpose kinda make up for that. Also, Nick Frost is fucking Boss in this one.
Honorable mentions: Spaced
Spaced is a great TV show for people who love nerd culture and British comedy.
Paul: A great movie with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost playing nerds from england that go on a road trip with an alien played by Seth Rogan. Its awesome, and follows along the same lines as the cornetto triology and Spaced by being crammed full of referential humor.
Monday, May 4, 2015
You Pass Butter
I binge watched Rick and Morty this weekend. Its goddamn amazing. I fucking love science fiction, and better yet if it doesn't fuck around on the philosophical bits. Rick and Morty comfortably rolls from questions of the futility of existence to the meaning and value of the self in an infinite multiverse, which it handles insanely fucking well.
Rick is raw pragmatism draped over an unmitigated id. He invents technology that allows him to travel between realities and he happily uses it to get space drugs. He shows an insight and forethought that is simultaneously brilliant and dismissive. Meanwhile Morty is intuitive and empathetic, if a little dumb. He acts as both a plot driver and a humanizing influence on Rick.
I know I'm being a little english lit, but this cartoon doesn't fuck around. It's worth deconstructing. That said it handles all of this shit with relentless humor and a brutal simplicity that I can't praise enough. Seriously, watch this fucking show.
Rick is raw pragmatism draped over an unmitigated id. He invents technology that allows him to travel between realities and he happily uses it to get space drugs. He shows an insight and forethought that is simultaneously brilliant and dismissive. Meanwhile Morty is intuitive and empathetic, if a little dumb. He acts as both a plot driver and a humanizing influence on Rick.
I know I'm being a little english lit, but this cartoon doesn't fuck around. It's worth deconstructing. That said it handles all of this shit with relentless humor and a brutal simplicity that I can't praise enough. Seriously, watch this fucking show.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Hello, and welcome back to Weekly Cinemeh. This week we decided to focus on James Bond Films, specifically the ones that focused on the evil organization, SPECTRE (well, 4 out of 6. We didn't watch the Lazenby one or "From Russia With Love"). SPECTRE is one of the best ideas for an evil organization. Every time someone dies or fails in a way that harms the group, they are replaced, so people who stay in their positions are clearly going to be good at their jobs. James Bond is someone I admired in my youth when I watched these movies, but now as an adult (kinda) I find him to be a way more dubious character. Also very rape-y.
1: Dr. No
Dr. No is not just the first time that SPECTRE shows up, but also the first James Bond movie. Its a decent little film, though it clearly shows its age. Sean Connery is the best James Bond, even though he hated the character. Dr. No differs from a lot of other Bond movies because it focused heavily on Bond's cruelty. At one point Bond actually plays solitaire while waiting for a hitman to show so he can kill him, rather than just evade him. This is a much darker film than later bond movies which tended to try and make Bond movies that are a little lighter.
Eshi: Until this week my contact with Bond films has been almost completely restricted to the general information possessed by the zeitgeist. I was pretty aware of the character and the fucking massive influence Bond has had on modern fiction allowed me to build a pretty complete picture of the bond universe without having interacted with it. Dr. No justified my appreciation of the character absolutely. Connery as Bond is casual, charismatic and efficient (within the bounds of cheesy 60's movies). Other than some frankly expected racism, sexism and just terrible visual effects I very much enjoyed this one.
2: Thunderball
This was the fourth James Bond Film, and dealt with the theft of two nuclear weapons. I am used to movies making plot mistakes, but there was something that made no sense in this movie. Why the hell was a training mission being run with real, and live, nuclear weapons? Later there are military personnel, who are like "man it sucks that we put live weapons on a training run" and no one responds with "why the fuck would we do that!". That aside, the climax of the movie is awesome, even though it glosses over the possible death of a valuable asset. At the end of the film, Bond needs to jump off of a boat to not die and in the process pushes two other people off of it as well. One a girls named Domino he wants to bone, the other a scientist who works for SPECTRE but is not loyal (he even helps the girl escape from confinement because he finds the torture of her unacceptable) whose last line is "I can't swim". Anyway they all get out, and the boat explodes then Bond and Domino immediately board a rescue raft. There is no mention of the scientist or indication that they tried to save him. It was a little odd. I guess Bond wanted to be alone so he could fuck Domino. Not the strongest of films, but still fun to watch for the underwater battle between SPECTRE and the CIA, which gets really fucking brutal. Also, this one has my favorite theme song from this list (second favorite behind Goldfinger's theme in the whole series).
Eshi: This one was my favorite. Partially because the sweet ass underwater combat and partially because it gave birth to my theory that Bond is actually gay. Thunderball had the best balance of the movies we watched between oh shit violence, awkward social exploitation, and humor. The fact that they blatantly kill the Scientist at the end and it doesn't even remotely register for either bond or Domino was fucking hilarious to me.
3: You Only Live Twice
There is only one thing that made me uncomfortable in this movie more than the sexually aggressive Bond, the fact that they had to make him look Japanese for his mission, which gets very.... Black face-y. Yellow face? IDK, its racist is what I am saying. There is a scene in this movie that is just awesome, where Bond jumps in an Ultralight and blows up a bunch of enemy choppers. its a fun ride. Also the ninja/SPECTRE siege is a fun ride. Not the best film, but fun to watch. Also shows Ernst Starvo Blofeld for the first real time (he is only shown from the waist down in the previous movie), which is clearly who Dr Evil is supposed to be a direct parody of.
Eshi: The gadgets and "spy" work in this movie were fun as hell, and I'm kinda okay with it not being any better than that. I mean, SPECTRE is a very interesting enemy organization and Blofeld gets crazy in some amusing ways. That said this movie could have just as easily been called "The One In Which Bond Gets Yellow Fever" for all the super explicit... what would it be? Japsploitation? I don't know. There's a lot of just spectacularly racist "Asian" shit and it would be extremely inappropriate if it wasn't all so laughable. Sean Connery "becoming Japanese" is so hilariously terrible I thought I was going to have a stroke.
4: Diamonds Are Forever
This was the weakest of the Bond movies we watched, though still fun. I think the ultimate thing to take away from this is that Bond movies are fun, if you can get past the whole rape-y vibe he exudes. I liked this movie's plot more than a lot of Bond films, but the execution was a little lackluster. This movie did, however, have my favorite villains in it. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint.. I would watch a movie where these two went around assassinating people in interesting ways and making color commentary about it. They were fun to watch, its a shame they get got at the end of the movie.
Eshi: DAF was fun when it wasn't beating the gay horse. Pretty homo/transphobic. Bond is still kinda rapey (though less so this time), and the giant diamond space laser was pretty fucking cool for its time, even if the visual effects were still just... just terrible. Like, it would have been better to have almost a third of the film happen off camera. There is no situation in which an exploding nuke should be represented by a poorly filmed smoke pellet.
Honorable Mentions:
Austin Powers: I love these movies. They are the only movies that have done the spy movie parody really well.
Archer: Probably one of the best TV series ever made. It never lets up on the comedy, and takes joy in pointing out how ridiculous some of the tropes from Bond films are.
1: Dr. No
Dr. No is not just the first time that SPECTRE shows up, but also the first James Bond movie. Its a decent little film, though it clearly shows its age. Sean Connery is the best James Bond, even though he hated the character. Dr. No differs from a lot of other Bond movies because it focused heavily on Bond's cruelty. At one point Bond actually plays solitaire while waiting for a hitman to show so he can kill him, rather than just evade him. This is a much darker film than later bond movies which tended to try and make Bond movies that are a little lighter.
Eshi: Until this week my contact with Bond films has been almost completely restricted to the general information possessed by the zeitgeist. I was pretty aware of the character and the fucking massive influence Bond has had on modern fiction allowed me to build a pretty complete picture of the bond universe without having interacted with it. Dr. No justified my appreciation of the character absolutely. Connery as Bond is casual, charismatic and efficient (within the bounds of cheesy 60's movies). Other than some frankly expected racism, sexism and just terrible visual effects I very much enjoyed this one.
2: Thunderball
This was the fourth James Bond Film, and dealt with the theft of two nuclear weapons. I am used to movies making plot mistakes, but there was something that made no sense in this movie. Why the hell was a training mission being run with real, and live, nuclear weapons? Later there are military personnel, who are like "man it sucks that we put live weapons on a training run" and no one responds with "why the fuck would we do that!". That aside, the climax of the movie is awesome, even though it glosses over the possible death of a valuable asset. At the end of the film, Bond needs to jump off of a boat to not die and in the process pushes two other people off of it as well. One a girls named Domino he wants to bone, the other a scientist who works for SPECTRE but is not loyal (he even helps the girl escape from confinement because he finds the torture of her unacceptable) whose last line is "I can't swim". Anyway they all get out, and the boat explodes then Bond and Domino immediately board a rescue raft. There is no mention of the scientist or indication that they tried to save him. It was a little odd. I guess Bond wanted to be alone so he could fuck Domino. Not the strongest of films, but still fun to watch for the underwater battle between SPECTRE and the CIA, which gets really fucking brutal. Also, this one has my favorite theme song from this list (second favorite behind Goldfinger's theme in the whole series).
Eshi: This one was my favorite. Partially because the sweet ass underwater combat and partially because it gave birth to my theory that Bond is actually gay. Thunderball had the best balance of the movies we watched between oh shit violence, awkward social exploitation, and humor. The fact that they blatantly kill the Scientist at the end and it doesn't even remotely register for either bond or Domino was fucking hilarious to me.
3: You Only Live Twice
There is only one thing that made me uncomfortable in this movie more than the sexually aggressive Bond, the fact that they had to make him look Japanese for his mission, which gets very.... Black face-y. Yellow face? IDK, its racist is what I am saying. There is a scene in this movie that is just awesome, where Bond jumps in an Ultralight and blows up a bunch of enemy choppers. its a fun ride. Also the ninja/SPECTRE siege is a fun ride. Not the best film, but fun to watch. Also shows Ernst Starvo Blofeld for the first real time (he is only shown from the waist down in the previous movie), which is clearly who Dr Evil is supposed to be a direct parody of.
Eshi: The gadgets and "spy" work in this movie were fun as hell, and I'm kinda okay with it not being any better than that. I mean, SPECTRE is a very interesting enemy organization and Blofeld gets crazy in some amusing ways. That said this movie could have just as easily been called "The One In Which Bond Gets Yellow Fever" for all the super explicit... what would it be? Japsploitation? I don't know. There's a lot of just spectacularly racist "Asian" shit and it would be extremely inappropriate if it wasn't all so laughable. Sean Connery "becoming Japanese" is so hilariously terrible I thought I was going to have a stroke.
4: Diamonds Are Forever
This was the weakest of the Bond movies we watched, though still fun. I think the ultimate thing to take away from this is that Bond movies are fun, if you can get past the whole rape-y vibe he exudes. I liked this movie's plot more than a lot of Bond films, but the execution was a little lackluster. This movie did, however, have my favorite villains in it. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint.. I would watch a movie where these two went around assassinating people in interesting ways and making color commentary about it. They were fun to watch, its a shame they get got at the end of the movie.
Eshi: DAF was fun when it wasn't beating the gay horse. Pretty homo/transphobic. Bond is still kinda rapey (though less so this time), and the giant diamond space laser was pretty fucking cool for its time, even if the visual effects were still just... just terrible. Like, it would have been better to have almost a third of the film happen off camera. There is no situation in which an exploding nuke should be represented by a poorly filmed smoke pellet.
Honorable Mentions:
Austin Powers: I love these movies. They are the only movies that have done the spy movie parody really well.
Archer: Probably one of the best TV series ever made. It never lets up on the comedy, and takes joy in pointing out how ridiculous some of the tropes from Bond films are.
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