Last week EA announced a DLC coming out for Dragon Age: Inquisition called Jaws of Hakkon. This isn't really new, DLC comes out all the time, but this time this release put a focus on something that has existed for a while in the gaming industry. Until now, companies like Microsoft and Sony paying companies to release exclusive content has been less visible. JoK came out for Xbox One and PC only. Yesterday EA announced that this DLC would come out for every other console one month later.
DA:I has received a lot of game of the year awards and praise and is a much bigger game then a lot of games with staggered DLC. Destiny came out last year too, and Sony paid Bungie to make sure that a bunch of DLC only came out for the game on the PS3/4. This time it is Microsoft who is doing the paying for exclusivity, but at least the PS3/4 will be getting it eventually. Some game companies use these funds to help complete games and DLC that wouldn't normally come out otherwise due to budget restraints, so it makes sense that this kind of thing would be good for developers. That being said, as this Kotaku article says, this is essentially companies paying developers to keep some players from having this content because they picked the "wrong" console.
When I saw the announcement that DLC would be coming out I was excited. Then I saw that it would be for Xbox only (at least for a while) and all I did was get disappointed. I didn't do what I assume this type of gimmick is supposed to elicit: buy the console with the exclusive content. Increased sales is the main reason that companies like Microsoft and Sony do this, and I have to wonder if it works. Unfortunately, it probably does on some level.
I remember when I saw this kind of thing the first time. Soul Calibur II came out with console specific characters. This meant that to play as Darth Vader I would need to buy a copy for my PS2 while to play as Link or Spawn I would need to buy a copy for my Game Cube and Xbox respectively. This is ridiculous. None of the characters were game breaking or necessary so I just picked up a copy for one console and called it good. One of my cousins did what the companies wanted. He bought all three copies of the game. I remember thinking "ah, that's why they did that!".
Ever since, I have tried to not support this kind of behavior, unfortunately it makes money for the companies, so they will still do it. I won't buy an Xbox One to play this DLC. I love DA:I, its a great game, but not worth buying another console for just to get access to a little bit of content. Hopefully if enough people just don't buy into the scheme this kind of thing won't happen any more, but considering its been happening for a long time, I don't know if that hope is futile or not.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
Shit-Swilling Subhuman Sonsabitches
This is going to be a short post so I don't devolve in to a crazy-eyed chainsaw-wielding redneck. So swatting is a thing apparently. It's been a thing for a while and it has always been fucked up beyond anything like acceptability. If you hit that link up there you might note that when the police discussed the penalty of the Nov. 6 2014 swatting as a fine and, possibly, a year in prison.
People die in SWAT raids. I've covered it before, but SWAT actions terrorize civilians, ruin lives and, occasionally, melt babies. So calling in a bomb threat or hostage situation on someone to fucking troll them makes you not a fucking person anymore. The idea that these fuckers get anything less than dropped in a fucking hole is disgusting to me. Many swatters are apparently kids. That doesn't change my opinion at all. If your shitty fucking kid is willing to fuck up someone's life this badly they don't get to try again, and you probably shouldn't either.
People die in SWAT raids. I've covered it before, but SWAT actions terrorize civilians, ruin lives and, occasionally, melt babies. So calling in a bomb threat or hostage situation on someone to fucking troll them makes you not a fucking person anymore. The idea that these fuckers get anything less than dropped in a fucking hole is disgusting to me. Many swatters are apparently kids. That doesn't change my opinion at all. If your shitty fucking kid is willing to fuck up someone's life this badly they don't get to try again, and you probably shouldn't either.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Welcome, once again, to Weekly Cinemeh. This week's theme was Bruce Campbell, one of our favorite actors. With his trademark roguish charm and his badass chin he makes B movies that should be bad amazing. He has a great sense of humor and likes to show it off (The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and his foil-y character Sam Axe in Burn Notice as well as myriad other parts he has played) and is proud to be in many "bad films" The difference between him and other actors in B film is that he owns that shit. He has fun with it instead being pompous, and that's what makes him great: He loves what he does.
1: Mindwarp
This movie is about a woman who is tired of her life in a world where people live the bulk of their lives in a simulation and wants to see the real world. She eventually gets her wish when she is expelled from her home and is thrust into a world filled with cannibals and Bruce Campbell's chin. Shit goes down when they get captured by cannibals and need to escape. This movie was way better than I was expecting it to be. Marta Martin did a good job as the fish out of water "Judy" and Bruce Campbell was great (especially when he goes insane). Angus Scrimm was a surprise for me, I always like seeing him in movies, but I never knew his name until I watched this one. A couple of the twists are easy to spot, but the story is also surprisingly good, and more than a little fucked up. This movie is in the vein of my favorite type of movie: good bad movies. I have a feeling we will see more of them in this list. Good fun, watch it.
Eshi: Bruce Campbell holds a place in my heart that approaches even that of His Abnormally Tall Holiness, so this week was a fucking delight. Mindwarp is exactly what I expected it to be; a terrible, terrible, sci-fi flick made grand in its camp. Angus Scrimm is, as usual, wonderfully creepy, and Marta Martin plays the lost and wandering Judy well. But really we came here for Bruce and he does deliver. The man goes from suave and charismatic to balls-to-bumper fucking crazy like someone flipped a switch and it brings me a joy that borders on troubling.
2: Terminal Invasion
This was a TV movie that was campy from the very start. Aliens attack an airport by posing as humans. Attack is a bit of a stretch as most of the aliens only attack people after being found out as aliens, though shit eventually goes down for reals. There are some pretty great twists that play on the audience building connections for themselves, though the rest of the movie kind of plays out like The Thing. Bruce Campbell is great, although the rest of the cast isn't terrible just kind of mundane. Jason Jones, of The Daily Show, was a surprise that I was not expecting, though he wasn't in the film for long. Its another good bad film, and fun to watch with your buddies making fun of some of the bad decisions the cast makes (seriously maybe explain what is going on rather than just threaten everybody with a gun >_<).
Eshi: Terminal Invasion has a pervasive sense of "fuck it", that I approve of wholeheartedly. The writing is pretty much what you'd expect, with a few noted exceptions. The casting seemed almost accidentally brilliant and the chemistry would have been surprising if Bruce Campbell hadn't been a primary role. Its on Netflix, you have no excuse for not watching this movie.
3: Man With The Screaming Brain
This movie proves to me that Bruce Campbell is the master of the good bad movie. He wrote, directed, and starred in this movie, and it is great. It is a movie about a man who gets a head injury and has part of his brain replaced with another persons brain. Antics ensue as the two have to work to get along. Its funny, irreverent, and knows what it's all about. The story is something that has been kind of done before, but this was a great take on the possessed body part trope. If you like Bruce Campbell, this is a movie for you.
Eshi: "I'm on FIRE!"
Honorable Mentions: Everything Bruce Campbell has done that I have seen is good. The Evil Dead trilogy, My name is Bruce (in which he plays himself in one of his type of movies), Bubba Ho-Tep, Jack Of all Trades, Alien Apocalypse, and everything we have mentioned here. Don't go in expecting high art, go in wanting a good time.
Eshi: Bruce Campbell is fucking amazing, full goddamn stop. I will straight up kung fu fight any mother fucker says otherwise.
1: Mindwarp
This movie is about a woman who is tired of her life in a world where people live the bulk of their lives in a simulation and wants to see the real world. She eventually gets her wish when she is expelled from her home and is thrust into a world filled with cannibals and Bruce Campbell's chin. Shit goes down when they get captured by cannibals and need to escape. This movie was way better than I was expecting it to be. Marta Martin did a good job as the fish out of water "Judy" and Bruce Campbell was great (especially when he goes insane). Angus Scrimm was a surprise for me, I always like seeing him in movies, but I never knew his name until I watched this one. A couple of the twists are easy to spot, but the story is also surprisingly good, and more than a little fucked up. This movie is in the vein of my favorite type of movie: good bad movies. I have a feeling we will see more of them in this list. Good fun, watch it.
Eshi: Bruce Campbell holds a place in my heart that approaches even that of His Abnormally Tall Holiness, so this week was a fucking delight. Mindwarp is exactly what I expected it to be; a terrible, terrible, sci-fi flick made grand in its camp. Angus Scrimm is, as usual, wonderfully creepy, and Marta Martin plays the lost and wandering Judy well. But really we came here for Bruce and he does deliver. The man goes from suave and charismatic to balls-to-bumper fucking crazy like someone flipped a switch and it brings me a joy that borders on troubling.
2: Terminal Invasion
This was a TV movie that was campy from the very start. Aliens attack an airport by posing as humans. Attack is a bit of a stretch as most of the aliens only attack people after being found out as aliens, though shit eventually goes down for reals. There are some pretty great twists that play on the audience building connections for themselves, though the rest of the movie kind of plays out like The Thing. Bruce Campbell is great, although the rest of the cast isn't terrible just kind of mundane. Jason Jones, of The Daily Show, was a surprise that I was not expecting, though he wasn't in the film for long. Its another good bad film, and fun to watch with your buddies making fun of some of the bad decisions the cast makes (seriously maybe explain what is going on rather than just threaten everybody with a gun >_<).
Eshi: Terminal Invasion has a pervasive sense of "fuck it", that I approve of wholeheartedly. The writing is pretty much what you'd expect, with a few noted exceptions. The casting seemed almost accidentally brilliant and the chemistry would have been surprising if Bruce Campbell hadn't been a primary role. Its on Netflix, you have no excuse for not watching this movie.
3: Man With The Screaming Brain
This movie proves to me that Bruce Campbell is the master of the good bad movie. He wrote, directed, and starred in this movie, and it is great. It is a movie about a man who gets a head injury and has part of his brain replaced with another persons brain. Antics ensue as the two have to work to get along. Its funny, irreverent, and knows what it's all about. The story is something that has been kind of done before, but this was a great take on the possessed body part trope. If you like Bruce Campbell, this is a movie for you.
Eshi: "I'm on FIRE!"
Honorable Mentions: Everything Bruce Campbell has done that I have seen is good. The Evil Dead trilogy, My name is Bruce (in which he plays himself in one of his type of movies), Bubba Ho-Tep, Jack Of all Trades, Alien Apocalypse, and everything we have mentioned here. Don't go in expecting high art, go in wanting a good time.
Eshi: Bruce Campbell is fucking amazing, full goddamn stop. I will straight up kung fu fight any mother fucker says otherwise.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
We Need To Learn From The Lessons That Herbert West Showed Us.
So I have written something along the lines of this topic a couple of times but it is still something that bugs me. Remakes. This time I was set off because of a very specific remake: The X-Files. I love the X-Files, it was an amazing show, funny at times, tense at others. It balanced the monster of the week and drama genres really well. That being said, the show turned into something unwatchable by the end, mostly due to people splitting from the show as it convoluted itself out of existence.
When I wrote about Fringe I said that shows should get canceled before they get to the point of being terrible, and The X-Files certainly fails that test. It lasted like 2 years longer than it should have, but Fox (the network not the character) calling for 6 more episodes to be produced is fucking absurd. Its basically taking a dead show it ruined over a decade ago and trying to wring more money out of it's corpse. Fuck all that spending money on new shows that might be terrible, lets just Frankenstein this bitch and see how she does on the corner. Because, you know, that always works out for the best. I grew up watching shows like Star Trek TNG and The X-Files, but those shows are done, and I am comfortable with that. I am not craving to know the unanswered questions, I am just sad at how these shows turned bad at the end. Let them stay dead.
This might sound like I am overreacting, and to be fair I am being a little hyperbolic, but this trend also stifles creativity in mainstream media. Broadcast television is getting fucked by stuff like Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix and instead of trying to compete with them by making better shows, they try to scratch the nostalgia itch that these services provide (I have rewatched the X-Files two times in the past few years because of Netflix).
Seriously, thanks to Fox we got shows like the Simpsons, Futurama, The X-Files, Arrested Development, and Firefly. They clearly have the ability to get people who can create great works, so try to create the next Family Guy or King of the Hill rather then trying to rehash your glory days when you had those shows. Then again, they did cancel a bunch of those shows before they hit their stride, so maybe Fox just doesn't know what the hell they are doing. Incidentally, Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix don't just hit the nostalgia spot, they have also been creating new stuff that is good (Deadbeat and Alpha House come to mind) so maybe this is just the death throes of a dying form of media that is trying desperately to remain relevant.
When I wrote about Fringe I said that shows should get canceled before they get to the point of being terrible, and The X-Files certainly fails that test. It lasted like 2 years longer than it should have, but Fox (the network not the character) calling for 6 more episodes to be produced is fucking absurd. Its basically taking a dead show it ruined over a decade ago and trying to wring more money out of it's corpse. Fuck all that spending money on new shows that might be terrible, lets just Frankenstein this bitch and see how she does on the corner. Because, you know, that always works out for the best. I grew up watching shows like Star Trek TNG and The X-Files, but those shows are done, and I am comfortable with that. I am not craving to know the unanswered questions, I am just sad at how these shows turned bad at the end. Let them stay dead.
This might sound like I am overreacting, and to be fair I am being a little hyperbolic, but this trend also stifles creativity in mainstream media. Broadcast television is getting fucked by stuff like Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix and instead of trying to compete with them by making better shows, they try to scratch the nostalgia itch that these services provide (I have rewatched the X-Files two times in the past few years because of Netflix).
Seriously, thanks to Fox we got shows like the Simpsons, Futurama, The X-Files, Arrested Development, and Firefly. They clearly have the ability to get people who can create great works, so try to create the next Family Guy or King of the Hill rather then trying to rehash your glory days when you had those shows. Then again, they did cancel a bunch of those shows before they hit their stride, so maybe Fox just doesn't know what the hell they are doing. Incidentally, Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix don't just hit the nostalgia spot, they have also been creating new stuff that is good (Deadbeat and Alpha House come to mind) so maybe this is just the death throes of a dying form of media that is trying desperately to remain relevant.
Monday, March 23, 2015
And the Whole of the Law Shall be: Don't be a Cuntwaffle
We here at Kinda Whatevs have been known to discuss gaming and gaming culture from time to time. Today I plan on tapping a relatively controversial (though less than say, systemic sexism) topic. Yes, today we're going to discuss exploitation, and not in the conventional sense you'd be likely to see here. I'm not going to talk about how we as gamers are being reamed by certain profit models, or how games exacerbate underlying stereotypes and body image issues. No, today its personal. Today we're talking about cheating.
I am a card carrying Video Game Cheater. I cut my teeth on Game Genie back in the day, spent some time voiding warranties with a Game Shark, and have spent more hours than I care to admit to getting various "Mods" to play nicely together in order to tailor my gaming experience to my design. And that's all it has ever been; me trying to get the most out of my games. There are endless, vile arguments in forums all over the webs about the evils of cheating in video games, and some of the points raised are quite valid. If you cheat in an online game against people who are not cheated, you are a cuntwaffle and you deserve the ban that is probably coming to you. If you cheat in a way that actually destroys your game, well fuck, guess you shouldn't have fucking done that. Be more careful next time. My issue comes from the fact that, honestly most games are kind of insufferable to me without at least a little bit of modification. A little bit of god mode goes a long way towards making that psycho with a chainsaw feel like the vindication I crave. I will freely admit that some of the time my desire to cheat is a blatant power fantasy, but that's what escapism is fucking for. I don't, as my previous comments might imply, cheat on games where there are other people who aren't or might not be cheating. The idea of playing out the aforementioned power fantasy on other actual people is spectacularly shitty, that's how social conservatives happen. But there is nary a single player game out there that I haven't run through the paces of Cheat Engine or modded beyond recognition.
I do it for fun. Many of my friends and I have cheated the hell out of games we loved and grown to love them even more with the cheats. Most cheats are harmless as long as you aren't a dick. Now, I realize this is a Rant Fantastique at this point but I do have a reason for it. Recently, Bioware removed an apparently stable and very, very fucking useful exploit from Dragon Age: Inquisition. The exploit in question was item duplication, under specified, reasonable conditions. It allowed players to acquire good gear and made the economy in the game somewhat more reasonable. It had also been available in every DA game in almost exactly the same form. It was removed. That means that it had been intentionally implemented, as evidenced by the fact that they continued to fucking include it, and then patched out.
This bugs the hell out of me, and I realize that it's a little thing but cheating at games is a great joy to me and many other players. I'm being long winded here but I feel like this is on some level an issue of other people dictating how I'm allowed to enjoy myself and that is supremely fuckered.
I am a card carrying Video Game Cheater. I cut my teeth on Game Genie back in the day, spent some time voiding warranties with a Game Shark, and have spent more hours than I care to admit to getting various "Mods" to play nicely together in order to tailor my gaming experience to my design. And that's all it has ever been; me trying to get the most out of my games. There are endless, vile arguments in forums all over the webs about the evils of cheating in video games, and some of the points raised are quite valid. If you cheat in an online game against people who are not cheated, you are a cuntwaffle and you deserve the ban that is probably coming to you. If you cheat in a way that actually destroys your game, well fuck, guess you shouldn't have fucking done that. Be more careful next time. My issue comes from the fact that, honestly most games are kind of insufferable to me without at least a little bit of modification. A little bit of god mode goes a long way towards making that psycho with a chainsaw feel like the vindication I crave. I will freely admit that some of the time my desire to cheat is a blatant power fantasy, but that's what escapism is fucking for. I don't, as my previous comments might imply, cheat on games where there are other people who aren't or might not be cheating. The idea of playing out the aforementioned power fantasy on other actual people is spectacularly shitty, that's how social conservatives happen. But there is nary a single player game out there that I haven't run through the paces of Cheat Engine or modded beyond recognition.
I do it for fun. Many of my friends and I have cheated the hell out of games we loved and grown to love them even more with the cheats. Most cheats are harmless as long as you aren't a dick. Now, I realize this is a Rant Fantastique at this point but I do have a reason for it. Recently, Bioware removed an apparently stable and very, very fucking useful exploit from Dragon Age: Inquisition. The exploit in question was item duplication, under specified, reasonable conditions. It allowed players to acquire good gear and made the economy in the game somewhat more reasonable. It had also been available in every DA game in almost exactly the same form. It was removed. That means that it had been intentionally implemented, as evidenced by the fact that they continued to fucking include it, and then patched out.
This bugs the hell out of me, and I realize that it's a little thing but cheating at games is a great joy to me and many other players. I'm being long winded here but I feel like this is on some level an issue of other people dictating how I'm allowed to enjoy myself and that is supremely fuckered.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
We decided to go in a less serious route this week with comedy. For the most part I enjoy comedies, and these weren't that bad. To the list!
1: Rat Race
This movie is basically a re-telling of a comedy classic that happens to be one of my favorites, It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. A group of people race across Nevada and New Mexico to try to get a million dollars. Antics ensue, and shit goes wrong fast. Its pretty funny, though a little unbelievable at times. I saw this movie when it came out and thought it was very funny, but that was over a decade ago and watching it now, it is not as good as I remembered. Still very funny in bits thanks to a great cast such as Rowan Atkinson and Seth Green, and worth the watch with friends and some beer.
Eshi: This is a fun, cute movie that rides pretty much entirely on its cast. Rowan Atkinson is grand, if a bit underutilized. I love Seth Green and have been known to forgive very nearly anything with him in it (I'm looking at you Sex Drive). John Cleese is wonderful, even if it is kind of a small role. Its a good movie, best reserved for an inebriated Sunday afternoon.
2: Men Who Stare At Goats
Based on the work of Jon Ronson, a reporter who uncovered the use of psychological torture on inmates before, and during, the Iraq war. The movie explores the ideas behind programs like MKUltra being used as the basis for creating super-soldiers (referred to as jedi warriors in the movie). This movie is great. Its funny, the story is good, and the cast is amazing. I recommend that you see this if you haven't before.
Eshi: Ewan McGregor is a fucking beautiful man, regardless of what his chin has to say about it. The first time I saw MWSAG it caught me totally out of left field. It's aggressive with its humor and fucking brimming with charisma, much like Ewan McGregor. I heart this movie from space.
3: Four Rooms
I am a fan of Tarantino's work, and I am sad that I have never seen this before. Of course he is only one of four directors in the film. Tim Roth is great as a frenetic bellhop forced to work alone in a hotel for a night. He is run through four plots each directed by a different director and each more fucked up than the last. All of them are very funny and weave together very well, something that I wasn't sure would happen when I heard the premise of the film. This movie is also full of famous people, some which I didn't recognize until I saw the cast list, such as Marisa Tomei as a stoner and Salma Hayek's "T&A" in the third story. Its a great movie.
Eshi: I was surprised that Brian hadn't seen this one before, for much the same reason he was sad about it. Tim Roth is pretty fucking far from how I've come to expect him but he handles the role beautifully. Honestly about the only part I don't like about this movie is that its got Madonna in it. Even then it only bugs me because young Madonna reminds me of current Madonna's arms. I'm not a very shallow fella but her upper arms make it look like she's trying to smuggle cured meats.
4: Death At a Funeral
I have seen this movie quite a few times, and each time it is still good. Its a movie about a funeral that goes awry when the son of the deceased is blackmailed for cash when his father's lover, played by Peter Dinklage, threatens to expose their relationship. The cast is stellar, Alan Tudyk in particular is great as a man who accidentally takes a strong version of LSD, and the comedy is solid throughout. I would suggest the British version over the much worse American movie. Most of the American version's cast was good, but James Marsden can't match Tudyk, and the movie as a whole seemed kind of flat in comparison. Watch the original if you get the chance, it is a great black comedy.
Eshi: Alan Tudyk. Peter Dinklage. If that doesn't at least catch your attention I don't think we can hang anymore.
1: Rat Race
This movie is basically a re-telling of a comedy classic that happens to be one of my favorites, It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. A group of people race across Nevada and New Mexico to try to get a million dollars. Antics ensue, and shit goes wrong fast. Its pretty funny, though a little unbelievable at times. I saw this movie when it came out and thought it was very funny, but that was over a decade ago and watching it now, it is not as good as I remembered. Still very funny in bits thanks to a great cast such as Rowan Atkinson and Seth Green, and worth the watch with friends and some beer.
Eshi: This is a fun, cute movie that rides pretty much entirely on its cast. Rowan Atkinson is grand, if a bit underutilized. I love Seth Green and have been known to forgive very nearly anything with him in it (I'm looking at you Sex Drive). John Cleese is wonderful, even if it is kind of a small role. Its a good movie, best reserved for an inebriated Sunday afternoon.
2: Men Who Stare At Goats
Based on the work of Jon Ronson, a reporter who uncovered the use of psychological torture on inmates before, and during, the Iraq war. The movie explores the ideas behind programs like MKUltra being used as the basis for creating super-soldiers (referred to as jedi warriors in the movie). This movie is great. Its funny, the story is good, and the cast is amazing. I recommend that you see this if you haven't before.
Eshi: Ewan McGregor is a fucking beautiful man, regardless of what his chin has to say about it. The first time I saw MWSAG it caught me totally out of left field. It's aggressive with its humor and fucking brimming with charisma, much like Ewan McGregor. I heart this movie from space.
3: Four Rooms
I am a fan of Tarantino's work, and I am sad that I have never seen this before. Of course he is only one of four directors in the film. Tim Roth is great as a frenetic bellhop forced to work alone in a hotel for a night. He is run through four plots each directed by a different director and each more fucked up than the last. All of them are very funny and weave together very well, something that I wasn't sure would happen when I heard the premise of the film. This movie is also full of famous people, some which I didn't recognize until I saw the cast list, such as Marisa Tomei as a stoner and Salma Hayek's "T&A" in the third story. Its a great movie.
Eshi: I was surprised that Brian hadn't seen this one before, for much the same reason he was sad about it. Tim Roth is pretty fucking far from how I've come to expect him but he handles the role beautifully. Honestly about the only part I don't like about this movie is that its got Madonna in it. Even then it only bugs me because young Madonna reminds me of current Madonna's arms. I'm not a very shallow fella but her upper arms make it look like she's trying to smuggle cured meats.
4: Death At a Funeral
I have seen this movie quite a few times, and each time it is still good. Its a movie about a funeral that goes awry when the son of the deceased is blackmailed for cash when his father's lover, played by Peter Dinklage, threatens to expose their relationship. The cast is stellar, Alan Tudyk in particular is great as a man who accidentally takes a strong version of LSD, and the comedy is solid throughout. I would suggest the British version over the much worse American movie. Most of the American version's cast was good, but James Marsden can't match Tudyk, and the movie as a whole seemed kind of flat in comparison. Watch the original if you get the chance, it is a great black comedy.
Eshi: Alan Tudyk. Peter Dinklage. If that doesn't at least catch your attention I don't think we can hang anymore.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Acting Appropriately Stupid
So, in one of my recent posts I talked about how I have been enjoying tabletop RPGing lately, and I just wanted to talk about a game that is very fun and easy to pick up and play in a couple of hours. This RPG is called "It came from the late late late show" and was released a long ass time ago in 1989, but you can still find copies of the first and second editions on ebay for like ten bucks (I got mine from a friend in college).
The basic premise of the game is your players are actors in a bad horror/sci fi movie and they have to play through the plot. The director can throw monsters at them and play as all of the extras and co stars. Its a cute Idea that is executed very well. Players can do things like "call in a stunt double" who takes damage for them or call for a commercial break in which the actors can come up with a strategy to beat the monster(s). The director can also force the players to "act appropriately stupid". You know how in horror movies where a person will do something stupid to force movement in the plot and/or make a situation exciting? Acting appropriately stupid is a mechanic that forces that. That being said, its not hard to get the players to go along with it in the first place. In the three or four games of it I have run I have never had to use it.
If you like bad horror movies, this is a great game that allows you to make your own with your friends. Its got some great mechanics that make playing it a blast and its very simple and easy to play, even for people new to gaming as a whole. I highly recommend it.
The basic premise of the game is your players are actors in a bad horror/sci fi movie and they have to play through the plot. The director can throw monsters at them and play as all of the extras and co stars. Its a cute Idea that is executed very well. Players can do things like "call in a stunt double" who takes damage for them or call for a commercial break in which the actors can come up with a strategy to beat the monster(s). The director can also force the players to "act appropriately stupid". You know how in horror movies where a person will do something stupid to force movement in the plot and/or make a situation exciting? Acting appropriately stupid is a mechanic that forces that. That being said, its not hard to get the players to go along with it in the first place. In the three or four games of it I have run I have never had to use it.
If you like bad horror movies, this is a great game that allows you to make your own with your friends. Its got some great mechanics that make playing it a blast and its very simple and easy to play, even for people new to gaming as a whole. I highly recommend it.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Welcome back to weekly cinemeh. This week our theme was mystery movies, and we had some good ones. While I tend not to care about spoilers if a movie is ten or more years old, I will still try to leave them out of this post because it really fucking sucks with the viewing of mysteries in particular.
1: The Thin Man
Released in 1934, The Thin Man is a movie starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora, a retired detective and his well to do wife who are forced into a murder case and need to solve it. The movie is very well acted, hilarious, and features one of the healthiest couples on screen at the time (and some would argue today). I am a fan of movies from this era mostly because they didn't have to rely on fancy gimmicks to tell a story. The movie's mystery is good, and you can see how it influenced movies after it, though I am sure this wasn't the first mystery that used the gather all the suspects together and solve the mystery (Poirot did it all the time). It's sense of humor and the personalities of Nick and Nora are additions that make this a fresh movie (despite its age), and well worth the watch. Also there is like 4 sequels, most of which are also good.
Eshi: This movie was delightful. The mystery is relatively transparent but the characters are well played and very enjoyable and the heroic amount of alcohol involved endeared me to them. Seriously, the words "functional alcoholic" don't even begin to describe Nick and Nora. Their mastery of the boozey arts makes the alcoholism we encounter later in the week all the more painful. If you like mystery movies and want to see what a loving, healthy relationship ought to look like this is a great place to start.
2: Rainbow Eyes
A Korean movie that was the oddest movie we saw all week. It kept both of us guessing for a decent amount of the plot (OK, for most of it >_>), and had some frenetic scenes in which, in a single shot, the camera follows the flow of information in a police station during a murder investigation. Its a movie about a killer that is murdering people who used to be in the military, and the cops who must discover who they are. Its got some tense moments and some kind of fucked up scenes centered around why the murders happened. It was well acted and the twists come at you from places where you don't expect. Its a good movie.
Eshi: My opinion of this movie changed ever half hour, I really like that. I have strange feelings about Korean cinema as a whole. On the one hand, every Korean movie I've seen has been fucking awesome, on the other hand every single fucking one of them makes me hate humanity as a whole just a little more. Considering my standard opinion of the Human race normally, this is both impressive and depressing. Watch this one all the way through, no matter how it feels.
3: Dial M For Murder
Alfred Hitchcock is a genius and this movie, while not his best in my opinion, is one of the better movies I have seen. Its a mystery about a murder, like all the others on this list, but more from the perspective of the murderer, trying to figure out how they screwed up, if they screwed up. It shows the complexity of committing murder, as well as the old adage "The best laid schemes of mice and men, (often go awry)". The movie was based on a play by Frederick Knott, who also did the screenplay for the film. Its claustrophobic because of this, as most of the movie takes place in a single room, which adds to the tension of the film. It is a great movie, with good acting and a great story.
Eshi: The complete failure of these posh English people to drink alcohol like a civilized fucking person bugged me to kind of a telling degree. Other than the insistence on drinking whiskey like fucking philistines the characters are all pretty compelling, if not at all sympathetic. The payoff in this film is very enjoyable and I recommend it highly.
1: The Thin Man
Released in 1934, The Thin Man is a movie starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora, a retired detective and his well to do wife who are forced into a murder case and need to solve it. The movie is very well acted, hilarious, and features one of the healthiest couples on screen at the time (and some would argue today). I am a fan of movies from this era mostly because they didn't have to rely on fancy gimmicks to tell a story. The movie's mystery is good, and you can see how it influenced movies after it, though I am sure this wasn't the first mystery that used the gather all the suspects together and solve the mystery (Poirot did it all the time). It's sense of humor and the personalities of Nick and Nora are additions that make this a fresh movie (despite its age), and well worth the watch. Also there is like 4 sequels, most of which are also good.
Eshi: This movie was delightful. The mystery is relatively transparent but the characters are well played and very enjoyable and the heroic amount of alcohol involved endeared me to them. Seriously, the words "functional alcoholic" don't even begin to describe Nick and Nora. Their mastery of the boozey arts makes the alcoholism we encounter later in the week all the more painful. If you like mystery movies and want to see what a loving, healthy relationship ought to look like this is a great place to start.
2: Rainbow Eyes
A Korean movie that was the oddest movie we saw all week. It kept both of us guessing for a decent amount of the plot (OK, for most of it >_>), and had some frenetic scenes in which, in a single shot, the camera follows the flow of information in a police station during a murder investigation. Its a movie about a killer that is murdering people who used to be in the military, and the cops who must discover who they are. Its got some tense moments and some kind of fucked up scenes centered around why the murders happened. It was well acted and the twists come at you from places where you don't expect. Its a good movie.
Eshi: My opinion of this movie changed ever half hour, I really like that. I have strange feelings about Korean cinema as a whole. On the one hand, every Korean movie I've seen has been fucking awesome, on the other hand every single fucking one of them makes me hate humanity as a whole just a little more. Considering my standard opinion of the Human race normally, this is both impressive and depressing. Watch this one all the way through, no matter how it feels.
3: Dial M For Murder
Alfred Hitchcock is a genius and this movie, while not his best in my opinion, is one of the better movies I have seen. Its a mystery about a murder, like all the others on this list, but more from the perspective of the murderer, trying to figure out how they screwed up, if they screwed up. It shows the complexity of committing murder, as well as the old adage "The best laid schemes of mice and men, (often go awry)". The movie was based on a play by Frederick Knott, who also did the screenplay for the film. Its claustrophobic because of this, as most of the movie takes place in a single room, which adds to the tension of the film. It is a great movie, with good acting and a great story.
Eshi: The complete failure of these posh English people to drink alcohol like a civilized fucking person bugged me to kind of a telling degree. Other than the insistence on drinking whiskey like fucking philistines the characters are all pretty compelling, if not at all sympathetic. The payoff in this film is very enjoyable and I recommend it highly.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
It's a District Map, Not Digital Bukake
So, its no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention but politics is more fucked up than ever. Our congress is currently known as the "do nothing congress" because they haven't done shit for a long time. Its fucking crazy. There are plenty of reasons for this, most of which involve douchebaggery of the highest degree. I want to talk about one subject that I think can take a decent chunk of the blame: Gerrymandering.
Gerrymandering is the process in which the people who carve out congressional districts do so in order to make them more conservative or liberal. This helps reinforce incumbents of districts because they can cut the opposition out of their district entirely while including neighborhoods that are more supportive of the candidates ideology. In another equally shitty move parties can use gerrymandering to eliminate some of their opposition's power by splitting neighborhoods with the opposition's supporters into multiple other districts in which they will only make up a very small minority, and thus have their voice not heard. Its not like the gerrymanders are being sneaky about it either. The borders get really really fucked up.
That's the 12th district of North Carolina and its kind of bad, but it is far from the worst.
Illinois' 4th district looks like two districts, but it is not, its one, connected by a very tiny strip of land along a highway.
This shit is ridiculous, and it is helping to ruin our country. It might not seem like a big deal, just politicians being politicians or something like that, but that's wrong. This kind of gerrymandering eliminates the voices of people and forces politicians to be far more fanatical. You see, when you need to worry about pleasing your district in order to get reelected you need to do things your district will like. If you eliminate any real opposition you have you only need to represent certain ideals. This means that if you even attempt to compromise you are in danger of losing your district if a "more conservative" or "more liberal" candidate comes along at election time and points out that you don't hold as strong a view as theirs.
Our country was founded on the ideals of compromise. Ever hear of the great compromise? It is the reason that we have a bicameral congress, which allows us to reduce corruption (theoretically). By eliminating the voices of a state's constituents and forcing themselves into a fanatical position in which they are unable to do anything for anyone, They are crippling a process many of them claim to believe in just so that they can stay in a position of power. Fuck them. Also, gerrymandering is technically illegal, but those who do it use the vagueness of the laws (it is hard to define gerrymandering) against it to do it legally. Voter apathy/ignorance also plays a part in this but largely in that it makes gerrymandering easier. So, I shall reiterate: Fuck them.
Gerrymandering is the process in which the people who carve out congressional districts do so in order to make them more conservative or liberal. This helps reinforce incumbents of districts because they can cut the opposition out of their district entirely while including neighborhoods that are more supportive of the candidates ideology. In another equally shitty move parties can use gerrymandering to eliminate some of their opposition's power by splitting neighborhoods with the opposition's supporters into multiple other districts in which they will only make up a very small minority, and thus have their voice not heard. Its not like the gerrymanders are being sneaky about it either. The borders get really really fucked up.
That's the 12th district of North Carolina and its kind of bad, but it is far from the worst.
Illinois' 4th district looks like two districts, but it is not, its one, connected by a very tiny strip of land along a highway.
This shit is ridiculous, and it is helping to ruin our country. It might not seem like a big deal, just politicians being politicians or something like that, but that's wrong. This kind of gerrymandering eliminates the voices of people and forces politicians to be far more fanatical. You see, when you need to worry about pleasing your district in order to get reelected you need to do things your district will like. If you eliminate any real opposition you have you only need to represent certain ideals. This means that if you even attempt to compromise you are in danger of losing your district if a "more conservative" or "more liberal" candidate comes along at election time and points out that you don't hold as strong a view as theirs.
Our country was founded on the ideals of compromise. Ever hear of the great compromise? It is the reason that we have a bicameral congress, which allows us to reduce corruption (theoretically). By eliminating the voices of a state's constituents and forcing themselves into a fanatical position in which they are unable to do anything for anyone, They are crippling a process many of them claim to believe in just so that they can stay in a position of power. Fuck them. Also, gerrymandering is technically illegal, but those who do it use the vagueness of the laws (it is hard to define gerrymandering) against it to do it legally. Voter apathy/ignorance also plays a part in this but largely in that it makes gerrymandering easier. So, I shall reiterate: Fuck them.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Wade-Giles Fuckery, and Not Deadpool/Buffy Slashfic
Alright folks, this is going to be a (hopefully) short nerd rant. We all know by this point that I have no patience for traditions built on bad ground. Today's shining shit shack of social standards revolves around the process of romanizing languages. I appreciate the value of converting non-english languages into characters comprehensible to english speakers/readers, it would just be great if we made any effort to do that. For instance the Gaelic word Samhain is pronounced sowwan or sahwin. That third letter is a fucking m and has no goddamn place in that word. I've heard the argument that its silent but silent letters are a hold out of a system whereby people use the ability to write "accurately" to enforce social barriers, so fuck that arbitrary elitist bullshit.
Arguably the most pronounced example of this stupidity is Wade-Giles transliteration. This is a method of converting Chinese, which is nuanced and beautiful, into English without any consideration for how those words are spoken. You may have noticed this renders the technique essentially useless for actually learning or communicating the fucking language. There is a chart at the bottom of that link that compares different phonemes and how they are written in Wade-Giles, which was established by two brits at the height of british cuntblubbery in China, and Pinyin, which is the method actually used by the people who speak the language. If you check that list you'll notice that WG seems to have valued exotic spelling conventions over anything even vaguely approaching accuracy.
This isn't super uncommon in romanizing languages, but it is fucking absurd. We romanize languages so that we can learn that language or at least be able to pronounce relevant words without sounding like a fucking moron. So I vote that we start actually writing things phonetically, or at very least consulting with native speakers before we decide how we ought to pronounce their words. Maybe someday we can live in a world where Daoism doesn't set off spell check and its foundational book isn't written as onomatopoeia for an old timey cash register.
Arguably the most pronounced example of this stupidity is Wade-Giles transliteration. This is a method of converting Chinese, which is nuanced and beautiful, into English without any consideration for how those words are spoken. You may have noticed this renders the technique essentially useless for actually learning or communicating the fucking language. There is a chart at the bottom of that link that compares different phonemes and how they are written in Wade-Giles, which was established by two brits at the height of british cuntblubbery in China, and Pinyin, which is the method actually used by the people who speak the language. If you check that list you'll notice that WG seems to have valued exotic spelling conventions over anything even vaguely approaching accuracy.
This isn't super uncommon in romanizing languages, but it is fucking absurd. We romanize languages so that we can learn that language or at least be able to pronounce relevant words without sounding like a fucking moron. So I vote that we start actually writing things phonetically, or at very least consulting with native speakers before we decide how we ought to pronounce their words. Maybe someday we can live in a world where Daoism doesn't set off spell check and its foundational book isn't written as onomatopoeia for an old timey cash register.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Weekly Cinemeh
Here we are once again and this week's theme is a doozy: Lovecraft. We here at Kinda Whatevs love us some horror, and Lovecraft is a titan of horror. H.P. Lovecraft is an author from the early 1900s, who created a universe in which terrible things from beyond the stars as well as in our deepest, darkest oceans, would come and destroy humanity. Its awesome. The inevitability of death and/or madness (I tend to view his stories as metaphors for entropy in the universe) is a common running theme in his stories (and other peoples stories in his universes since his work is not copyrighted). So with that said shit is about to get strange.
1: Re-Animator
This movie was a great start, though I feel kind of odd about it. Re-Animator is about a guy who has found a way to bring the dead back to life, and the shitstorm that follows. I don't know if this movie was supposed to be hilarious, but intentional or not, it was fucking hysterical. The special effects where kind of bad, the premise opened itself to some very funny situations (except for one, very disturbing, rape scene), and the acting is pretty terrible. One exception to that last point is Jeffery Combs as Herbert West (He has taken part in several H.P. Lovecraft films, so I think he throws a lot into his roles because he is a fan of Lovecraft). He plays the creepy/probably crazy necromancer part perfectly. The last shot of the movie was also very well done, and capped the film off very well. I don't wanna spoil it so you will have to watch it to find out what it is. Its easy to see why this movie is a cult hit, watch it not expecting a serious movie, and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Re-Animator is one of the most famous adaptations of Lovecraft's work and rightfully so. While the more nuanced cosmic/ineffable terror that pervades the Mythos isn't very well represented the slow, inevitable descent into madness is present in spades. It's super funny in some parts (especially in relation to a cat) and, other than an attempt to grossly redefine "getting head", is a highly enjoyable film.
2: The Whisperer in Darkness
I loved this movie. It did the original story justice (it had a great story to work with in the first place) and was actually well acted. The story follows a professor of folklore going to Vermont to investigate rumors of monsters roaming the hills and a cult of people who worship them. The movie is shot in black and white, trying to reinforce the feel that this movie was from the 1930s, and it works well, though the CGI crab people tended to take me out of the story. If you have not seen a Lovecraft based movie before this is a great place to start. It captures the feel of being helpless against a superior force very well as well as the need to at least try to fight back, regardless of the odds. This is one of the things I love about Lovecraft. People will often fight even if it seems hopeless (unless they go crazy first).
Eshi: This was easily my favorite movie this week. This film is one of several created by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, of whom I completely approve. With the exception of the aforementioned crab folk and some unconvincing but financially necessary effects, The WiD was surprisingly immersive and engaging. The HPLHS does good work and is, by and large, highly faithful to the source material.
3: In The Mouth of Madness
This is the second time I have seen Sam Neill go crazy thanks to beings from another world. In the Mouth of Madness is a movie about an insurance investigator trying to find an author of horror stories who went missing. This is another movie that I don't want to give to much away, so I won't say a lot more about its story. Sam Neill is a good actor, and does well with the role. Much like Jeffery Combs in Re-Animator, Sam Neill has done a couple of Lovecraftian movies and appears to enjoy the roles. John Carpenter is clearly a fan of Lovecraft and his type of work, not just for making several Lovecraft movie adaptations, but because of the horror movies he makes in general. They have a lot in common with Lovecraftian tales: enemies that are overpowering and hard to escape, views of reality that get called into question, and a focus on how small humans are in relation to the universe. He always does a good job with this kind of material. It is a good movie, and a must see for horror fans in general, not just Lovecraft fans.
Eshi: In the Mouth of Madness is one of the best Lovecraftian films set in the modern day. John Carpenter plays very well with practical effects as usual and there are parts of this movie that are genuinely disturbing, and without relying on the sexual grotesquery that Re-Animator and so many other horror films try to play upon. Sam Neill is really, really good at falling fucking hard. He goes from confident and relaxed to batshit fucking broken with a rare clarity. You can see every step he takes down the path to insanity and it sells the character. This is a great late night popcorn movie, and I recommend it highly.
1: Re-Animator
This movie was a great start, though I feel kind of odd about it. Re-Animator is about a guy who has found a way to bring the dead back to life, and the shitstorm that follows. I don't know if this movie was supposed to be hilarious, but intentional or not, it was fucking hysterical. The special effects where kind of bad, the premise opened itself to some very funny situations (except for one, very disturbing, rape scene), and the acting is pretty terrible. One exception to that last point is Jeffery Combs as Herbert West (He has taken part in several H.P. Lovecraft films, so I think he throws a lot into his roles because he is a fan of Lovecraft). He plays the creepy/probably crazy necromancer part perfectly. The last shot of the movie was also very well done, and capped the film off very well. I don't wanna spoil it so you will have to watch it to find out what it is. Its easy to see why this movie is a cult hit, watch it not expecting a serious movie, and you will have a good time.
Eshi: Re-Animator is one of the most famous adaptations of Lovecraft's work and rightfully so. While the more nuanced cosmic/ineffable terror that pervades the Mythos isn't very well represented the slow, inevitable descent into madness is present in spades. It's super funny in some parts (especially in relation to a cat) and, other than an attempt to grossly redefine "getting head", is a highly enjoyable film.
2: The Whisperer in Darkness
I loved this movie. It did the original story justice (it had a great story to work with in the first place) and was actually well acted. The story follows a professor of folklore going to Vermont to investigate rumors of monsters roaming the hills and a cult of people who worship them. The movie is shot in black and white, trying to reinforce the feel that this movie was from the 1930s, and it works well, though the CGI crab people tended to take me out of the story. If you have not seen a Lovecraft based movie before this is a great place to start. It captures the feel of being helpless against a superior force very well as well as the need to at least try to fight back, regardless of the odds. This is one of the things I love about Lovecraft. People will often fight even if it seems hopeless (unless they go crazy first).
Eshi: This was easily my favorite movie this week. This film is one of several created by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, of whom I completely approve. With the exception of the aforementioned crab folk and some unconvincing but financially necessary effects, The WiD was surprisingly immersive and engaging. The HPLHS does good work and is, by and large, highly faithful to the source material.
3: In The Mouth of Madness
This is the second time I have seen Sam Neill go crazy thanks to beings from another world. In the Mouth of Madness is a movie about an insurance investigator trying to find an author of horror stories who went missing. This is another movie that I don't want to give to much away, so I won't say a lot more about its story. Sam Neill is a good actor, and does well with the role. Much like Jeffery Combs in Re-Animator, Sam Neill has done a couple of Lovecraftian movies and appears to enjoy the roles. John Carpenter is clearly a fan of Lovecraft and his type of work, not just for making several Lovecraft movie adaptations, but because of the horror movies he makes in general. They have a lot in common with Lovecraftian tales: enemies that are overpowering and hard to escape, views of reality that get called into question, and a focus on how small humans are in relation to the universe. He always does a good job with this kind of material. It is a good movie, and a must see for horror fans in general, not just Lovecraft fans.
Eshi: In the Mouth of Madness is one of the best Lovecraftian films set in the modern day. John Carpenter plays very well with practical effects as usual and there are parts of this movie that are genuinely disturbing, and without relying on the sexual grotesquery that Re-Animator and so many other horror films try to play upon. Sam Neill is really, really good at falling fucking hard. He goes from confident and relaxed to batshit fucking broken with a rare clarity. You can see every step he takes down the path to insanity and it sells the character. This is a great late night popcorn movie, and I recommend it highly.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
New-Old world
Recently Eshi has been running a D&D campaign that I have been playing in. I have had mixed feelings about tabletop RPGs in the past. The play-acting is awkward, at least for me. I have problems with confidence in the first place, but needing to talk everything through in a realistic manner while pretending to be someone else feels off to me. You also need to interact with other people, and that's always awkward for me. Something that I think scares away more people is that there are often way to many established rules to make the experience an easy one to just jump into.
In the past I have tried to get into games like this, but either they fall apart quickly because people loose interest or the GM is a dick who uses the game as a power fantasy (all the players shall fall before MY MIGHT!). This time though the game has been going well. Eshi is a good GM and getting to play around more than I have in the past has made me appreciate the games mechanics more.
The biggest difference from, say, video game RPGs is that you can do anything you want. Don't like a rule because it is a little unfair to players? Change it. Want to be a class that doesn't exist? Make it. Want to be able to solve problems in ways that aren't preprogrammed into a scenario? Do it. It is also way easier to identify with your character because you get to make decisions about how that character acts. If you didn't want to only choose dialog that was pre-written for you, you can. That level of customization is hard to get in a video game (mods in PC games get close), and makes tabletops way better in my opinion.
Don't get me wrong, I still like video games and play them often, but tabletop scratches an itch that I didn't know I had. If you are on the fence about trying tabletop RPGs, or if you want more out of a game in terms of customization or just stuff to do, get some people together and try some D&D or Whitewolf, you might have a good time.
In the past I have tried to get into games like this, but either they fall apart quickly because people loose interest or the GM is a dick who uses the game as a power fantasy (all the players shall fall before MY MIGHT!). This time though the game has been going well. Eshi is a good GM and getting to play around more than I have in the past has made me appreciate the games mechanics more.
The biggest difference from, say, video game RPGs is that you can do anything you want. Don't like a rule because it is a little unfair to players? Change it. Want to be a class that doesn't exist? Make it. Want to be able to solve problems in ways that aren't preprogrammed into a scenario? Do it. It is also way easier to identify with your character because you get to make decisions about how that character acts. If you didn't want to only choose dialog that was pre-written for you, you can. That level of customization is hard to get in a video game (mods in PC games get close), and makes tabletops way better in my opinion.
Don't get me wrong, I still like video games and play them often, but tabletop scratches an itch that I didn't know I had. If you are on the fence about trying tabletop RPGs, or if you want more out of a game in terms of customization or just stuff to do, get some people together and try some D&D or Whitewolf, you might have a good time.
Monday, March 2, 2015
The Z Word
I've been playing a great deal of Dying Light lately, and its brought to mind some issues I have with the whole zombie genre. First, let me say that I'm not one of the hipster/geeks that hates zombies because they're all mainstream now. I will gladly agree that zombie fiction has gotten entirely too pervasive and easily exploited. Do we need zombie romance movies? No, that's fucking gross. Does almost every threat to mankind need to be zombies? Fuck no, try harder Hollywood. I love zombie fiction, largely because of the fact that the zombies are the least interesting part of it. Its a rich, effective device that allows all sorts of commentary and satire to thrive when used well.
My concern rises from the habit in zombie fiction to over value the zombies themselves. Now, I don't mean that the hungry dead shouldn't be a pressing and inevitable threat, but zombies (real, shambling, moaning corpses; if your zombies still have any chance of being "cured" i.e. victims of a communicable anger problem, you're just being dishonest) are scary enough on their own. Zombies are a pervasive, constant and yet still surprising concern. They can and will be everywhere, you will never really be safe from them and they can and do just come out of nowhere. This makes for an amazing threat... so stop fucking giving them superpowers. Considering how often the basic premise of so many zombie movies is that man is the real monster (all of which after 1970 are lazy and derivative), the zombies themselves ought not be magic superbeings.
In games like Dying Light the whole idea is that mankind is fucking terrible given even the slightest provocation. The high number of heavily mutated undead is unnecessary because the normal undead often come out of nowhere. Really, the greatest threats are being surprised by zombies (the primary fear of which comes from a problem the game resolves in the first 5 minutes of cut scene), the consumptive evil of other survivors, or just the straight up vile asscovering of the political forces deciding the fate of the survivors. I could be okay with them saying that the fresh dead are still limber enough to be runners, sure, scary and understandable. However, some zombies being nine feet tall and built like the Goddamn Mountain puts a look on my face like a disappointed sibling. Pretty much all of the enemies in the game stop being particularly difficult to kill about half way through so making special monsters that are marginally more difficult kinda cheapens the narrative.
This is, admittedly a very niche argument. I realize that me bitching about the narrative and design weaknesses of a genre predicated upon the wakening of the dead, hungry and mindless, to murder and consume the living is yelling in the dark at best. However, as we've discussed previously, our fiction both shapes and represents us, so allowing and encouraging shitty fiction is a disservice to all of us. Also, I'm a huge geek, this is what I do.
My concern rises from the habit in zombie fiction to over value the zombies themselves. Now, I don't mean that the hungry dead shouldn't be a pressing and inevitable threat, but zombies (real, shambling, moaning corpses; if your zombies still have any chance of being "cured" i.e. victims of a communicable anger problem, you're just being dishonest) are scary enough on their own. Zombies are a pervasive, constant and yet still surprising concern. They can and will be everywhere, you will never really be safe from them and they can and do just come out of nowhere. This makes for an amazing threat... so stop fucking giving them superpowers. Considering how often the basic premise of so many zombie movies is that man is the real monster (all of which after 1970 are lazy and derivative), the zombies themselves ought not be magic superbeings.
In games like Dying Light the whole idea is that mankind is fucking terrible given even the slightest provocation. The high number of heavily mutated undead is unnecessary because the normal undead often come out of nowhere. Really, the greatest threats are being surprised by zombies (the primary fear of which comes from a problem the game resolves in the first 5 minutes of cut scene), the consumptive evil of other survivors, or just the straight up vile asscovering of the political forces deciding the fate of the survivors. I could be okay with them saying that the fresh dead are still limber enough to be runners, sure, scary and understandable. However, some zombies being nine feet tall and built like the Goddamn Mountain puts a look on my face like a disappointed sibling. Pretty much all of the enemies in the game stop being particularly difficult to kill about half way through so making special monsters that are marginally more difficult kinda cheapens the narrative.
This is, admittedly a very niche argument. I realize that me bitching about the narrative and design weaknesses of a genre predicated upon the wakening of the dead, hungry and mindless, to murder and consume the living is yelling in the dark at best. However, as we've discussed previously, our fiction both shapes and represents us, so allowing and encouraging shitty fiction is a disservice to all of us. Also, I'm a huge geek, this is what I do.
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